Authors: Susan Finden,Linda Watson-Brown
Tags: #Non-Fiction, #Biography
The other decision I had to make was in relation to the driver who had killed Casper. As I’ve said, there is no law that requires someone in charge of a vehicle to report any accident with a cat, but I continued to be angered at the unfairness of this situation. If the driver had turned up at my door, I would have been upset, but if he had come to apologize, then I believe it would have made a difference and helped me to find closure. I couldn’t help but think that he had ‘got away with it’ – perhaps it wasn’t his first time, perhaps more families had been decimated by his carelessness. And, always, there was that fear at the back of my mind that it could be a child next time.
Both Edd and I contacted the taxi company to try to convince them that there had been a real loss, but there was very little interest. I met with denial, threats, lies and even a grudging acceptance. They admitted that their driver had been in Poole Park Road at the time, and had been driving very fast; however, they claimed that this was because he was taking a passenger to hospital. I checked this with the lady who had witnessed everything and she told me that not only had he been driving in the opposite direction to the hospital, but also that there had been no one else in the car. Their excuse was, according to the police, a confession that their driver had been responsible, but no action could be taken. There was nothing I could do, and that’s been one of the most difficult things to deal with.
With any sudden loss, there is the need to blame someone for the unfairness that takes the loved one from the life of the bereaved. In this situation, I knew who was responsible, and there had even been an admission of it, but still my hands were tied. No one cared. Casper was only a cat.
No, I had to tell myself – that wasn’t strictly true. The person who killed him didn’t care, but plenty of other people did and it was those good, honest, caring individuals who drew me out of my grief. The global hug I received in the wake of Casper’s passing was still holding me close. Every day, letters and emails piled up and each one told a tale of humanity and common purpose. It was humbling and it was so, so helpful. One lady from Australia wrote to me and I replied immediately, sending her some pictures of Casper too; her next letter showed just how important people felt it was to reach out at this terribly sad time.
Dear Sue –
Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a lovely letter I was very pleased to know that my card reached you as I only had your name and that you lived in Plymouth from the article about Casper in my local paper It certainly was a surprise as I didn’t expect a reply to my card. I just wanted you to know that other people were sad about the loss of Casper Thank you also for the photographs of him. I took them to work and showed all the girls, and we are all very sad about what happened to him. I am glad that you have decided to leave his photograph on the buses. I think that is a lovely memorial to him, but also I hope that rotten taxi driver sees Casper’s photo every day and is reminded of his carelessness and lack of compassion. I am sure he didn’t mean to run over him, but if he hadn’t been speeding he might have been able to avoid hitting him, and then not to stop to aid him was truly cowardly, and I do not understand how people can be so cruel. The fact that he almost hit a person as well, and that the company won’t do anything is just disgusting. It is a pity that the driver can’t be forced to own up and apologize. In this city, Adelaide, the law says drivers must stop and call the police if they hit an animal, regardless of what it is; hopefully you might be able to get this law in Plymouth.
By writing his story at least a little bit of good will come out of all the sadness. I see that Casper’s You Tube video has been updated; I watched it last night and had a cry. I suppose you wouldn’t be able to watch it, but it is a wonderful tribute to him, and I am sure that thousands of people who have seen it are sad as well.
My dear cats were Dolly Cat and Mr Sam. Dolly became ill last July, and I was taking her to the vet every couple of weeks for checks, then in the early hours of 27 September she suddenly died. She would have been eighteen on the 1st of December Then a couple of days later Mr Sam wouldn’t eat, so off to the vet again. The vet discovered a tumour in his bowel. He wasn’t in any pain at that time, but there wasn’t anything to be done to save him, so it was just palliative care. I was taking him to the vet every two weeks for injections to help his appetite and vitamins. I cherished every minute with him, and worried about him constantly. Then on 13 January I knew that he couldn’t go on any longer, so he was put to rest by the vet. He turned sixteen on the 1st of January. It has been heartbreaking to lose them both so close together I’d had them both since they were kittens and I miss them so much after all those years. I will eventually get another cat, as life without a furry person around the house is very strange, but I’m too sad at the moment and I need some time to get past the last six months.
Please take care – I hope the pain of losing Casper in such an awful way is easing a little, but as you said it never really goes away, I guess you just find a way of living with it.
Kind Regards – Bronwyn, Australia
All over the world and closer to home, people were being reminded of their losses over the years by Casper’s death. A lady called Margaret sent a beautiful card in which she said:
To lose a true friend is never easy – know that you’re in my thoughts. I was so sorry to read of the death of Casper What an amazing cat he was! In these days of nothing but bad news in the papers, it was so enjoyable to read about Casper and his daily bus journey. There will be many people who will be thinking of you at this time.
I believed her. There seemed to be such love sent to me in every mail delivery, including this one:
He was a lovely cat just like my Robert, one I had years ago. When I used to see him, I’d always sit down beside him. After a while I started stroking him and he never seemed to mind. I would have loved to have sat there all day with him and I used to just think through all the little things that were bothering me. When I had Robert, I used to tell him all my worries but I couldn’t say these things out loud to this fellow, as people would have thought I was mad. So, I just went through everything in my mind as I was petting him, and he was such a good cat. I’d have loved to have taken him home with me, but I’m far too old for a pet, so it was just nice to see him every so often. He was such a comfort to people, even if they just saw him now and again.
A couple from Nottingham wrote:
We were devastated to hear the very sad news about Casper – he must have been a wonderful cat. What we would have given to have known him. The first we ever heard about him was when we were in Cornwall on holiday in October 2009. We have managed to obtain a beautiful photo of him on the bus, waiting for the doors to open. God bless and take care.
All of these people were loving my cat and caring for him, when I had no idea. A lady from Truro said:
I was heartbroken to read the awful news that your darling cat, Casper, had been run over I just adore animals, especially cats, and remember so well reading the lovely story about him taking trips on the local buses where you live and what a wonderful character he was. It is a terrible heartbreak to lose them. Your little Casper has become as famous as Dewey! As all us animal lovers know, losing an animal is every bit as heartbreaking as losing a person or a child. The first time I had a little cat run over and killed, I was just devastated. You have to hang onto the fact that they had a kind, happy home and lots of love in their little life, which a lot of animals don’t often get. It’s been lovely to get to know you, albeit for a very sad reason – nowadays it’s all the more heart-warming to get to know kind people in the world.
She was absolutely right – it was heart-warming, and it meant even more because I think we’ve all been conditioned to believe that we’re all alone in the world, that ‘softness’ is a bad quality and that no one else feels the same way. It’s just not true; there are legions of good people out there. Casper proved that.
Debra from Western Australia wrote:
My young daughter and I read the very sad news about your cat, Casper, this morning and I sent an email straight away to the
Plymouth Herald
. I was so touched by the story of Casper and I wanted to offer you my sincere sympathies and condolences. I also wish to pass on my sympathies to the bus drivers who came to know Casper over the years, who must be equally upset at the news. I understand you received Casper from a cattery? I have a cat as well – he is sixteen now and my family and I love him dearly. I rescued him just one day away from being impounded into a cat home. He’s been a mostly-faithful cat to me ever since! I say ‘mostly-faithful’ because, as you well know with Casper, my cat has an independent streak and has been wont to disappear for many hours at a time.
There were characters all over the world! Helen, a lady from the US, wrote:
I have cried for such a long time over the story of your Casper’s death – I thought this was terribly wrong of me for a while, and feel rather silly, but now realize just why he has touched me so much. My family moved over here from England when I was fourteen, and although I loved the sunshine and opportunities, England still felt like home. I loved going home for Christmas – which we tried to do every year, even when I was a teenager and had long since started college. We stayed with a variety of aunts and uncles all over the country, in farms and in towns, and they all had one thing in common. Cats. We had a dog back in America, and I loved him dearly, but there was something about cats that just said ‘home’ to me. I have many happy memories of curling up on Christmas Day with one of the family pets, wherever we were staying, and probably missed them more than my human relations! As soon as I was old enough to marry and have my own home, I got a kitten. My husband I have now been married for over twenty years and have three children, and both of us ex-pats have always made sure there’s a cat waiting to greet us when we get home. They’ve all had terribly English names over the years – we currently have Percy and Mabel – and I do wonder whether they are the only things keeping us here. If it wasn’t for the thought of them in quarantine, I would be pushing to come home, because there was something in Casper’s story that made me so homesick. Was it the buses, or the idea of people waiting in a queue with a little cat? I’m not sure, but when I read that he had died, I felt that part of my dream of home had died too. I hope that you are coping and I hope that your sad loss does not prevent you getting another cat. You are in my thoughts.
Casper had seemed like part of home to me too, and it was terribly empty, but the letters kept on coming. Many people offered such reassurances, despite being strangers with absolutely nothing to gain from offering such kindness. It has made me reconsider so many things, and I take that as a lesson from Casper. The experience with my son, Greg, and his gran had shown me that strange things can happen and I now feel that there is often something to be gained from even the darkest times.
That’s not to say that his death doesn’t still hurt. There are moments when I experience pain where I haven’t expected it. For example, I still look out at the dustbins thinking I’ll see him there. For the first few days after he died, there was a plastic carrier bag wedged under the hedge across the road. My mind played tricks on me in my grief, and I sometimes thought it was him. Acceptance is so hard.
If I heard Cassie’s disks jingling, it would be so wonderful. It would be just what I needed to convince me that animals have souls, but until then I’m still not sure. His personality and character and what he left behind have certainly left their mark, but perhaps I’m still too emotionally raw to take it to the next stage and think about whether he is still, in some way, looking after me.
I’ve changed so much over the years and found myself again; in the course of doing so, I’ve had many cats in my life. As I’ve built myself up again, the cats have contributed to my confidence and my belief in myself. I never think about what they can give me, just what I can give them, but, looking back on it, they have all done so much.
This wonderful relationship that we can have with our animals should never be taken for granted. If only I could have one more minute with Casper, I would make sure that he knew just how much he meant to me while I was blessed to share my life with him. Take that time if you still have the gift of your fellow creatures in your life – hold them, love them and cherish the moments you spend together, for there will never be enough.
When I first started to write this book, I was a little overwhelmed at the prospect. I had never attempted such a thing before but the publishers were very supportive and felt Casper’s story was one that would speak to so many people that I felt it was the right thing to do. I made that decision only after thinking very carefully about everything that has happened. The one question that I kept asking myself time and time again was: how could one little cat have made such an impact?