Casting Stones (Stones Duet #1) (41 page)

Driving right past the downtown exit, I continue to follow the highway. I’m a crazed man in need of finding my girl. After parking my truck on the side of the road well past one o’clock in the morning, I fly up the stairs into the apartment and straight for my room. Lying silently with a dishtowel across her forehead, Remy, my angel, sleeps. I rush to her side and smooth her face gently with the back of my hand. I run my fingers through her damp hair.

“Hey.” I wipe her brow with the dishtowel and replace it with a kiss.

Remy stirs slowly and her eyes flutter open. “Oh my head.” She throws her arm over her face. “It’s so loud.”

“Where the fuck have you been? What happened to you? Why didn’t you tell me your mother was sick?” Questions about what happened to her, questions about how she got home, questions about why she didn’t tell me she was leaving race around silently.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” she stammers. “You were in the middle of the game.”

“How did you get home?”

“I called Uber,” she half-smiles.

“You scared me half to death!” I breathe deeply, trying to calm the adrenaline that’s mingled with fear and anger. “If something happened and I wasn’t there to protect you…” I can’t even finish the words. I bury my head against her flat stomach. “I love you.”

“Okay,” she mumbles before she drifts off to sleep again with her phone in her hand. I peel her fingers away and place it on the nightstand. I press the white circle to light up the screen, but nothing happens. The phone is either dead or off so I hold the side button and turn it on. The screen is splattered with text messages and missed calls from me, Jenna and Simon. I wrack my brain to remember if she ever mentioned someone named Candy or Paul.

Since I’m restless and edgy I find myself doing sit-ups and pushups for hours. The only person I contact is Jenna to let her know that Remy is safe and sound. I ignore Eric’s texts asking where I went. The conversation about why Remy lied to me about Jenna and where she lived will have to wait until morning.

Remy

THE KING SIZE
bed feels like it’s on fire when I finally wake up. Shane’s hard, naked body covers mine and I am trapped beneath the heat emanating from his skin. Although I would love to stay here all morning with him, I need to pee and then get my ass to work.

I tap his arm softly, nudging him to move, but he isn’t budging. “Shane,” I call with more force. “I need to get up.”

He groans. “Stay in bed with me.”

“I can’t. I’m by myself at the diner this morning.”

Something I say jostles him up to a sitting position which allows me room to move. “What?” I ask.

“You lied to me,” he accuses. “Why would you do that?”

“I have to pee,” I rush out of the room to gather my thoughts and cover my tracks. I don’t know which lie he’s referring to at the moment.

He stands in the doorway as I sit down on the cold toilet. “Shane! Close the door!” I screech.

“No. Tell me why you lied.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You told me Jenna had food poisoning.”

“She did.”

“No, she didn’t. She’s in North Carolina,” he bellows, slamming his palm against the flat surface of the vanity.

Okay, I now know that’s what he’s referring to.

“Why would you lie about it? And while you’re telling the truth, tell me why you lied about where you lived with your mother. I went by your apartment, but a woman said you didn’t live there.”

“What?” I freeze, wondering how he knows where I lived. “Look,” I say, standing to wash my hands, “Shane, have you not listened to a word I’ve said? Have I not told you what my life has been like with my mother?”

He stands there waiting for me to continue. “I was embarrassed. I didn’t want you to see where I lived.”

An expression of remorse and hurt transform his hard face back to its normal appearance. “Why didn’t you just tell me that? Baby, I don’t care where you lived. I don’t care what you did. I don’t care how poor you were. None of that matters to me. I love
you
. All of you. Don’t you understand that?”

I look away.

Shane tips my chin in his direction. “Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t want to go to the game? I wouldn’t have cared.”

“Really? Every time I tried to tell you that I didn’t want to go, you pretty much insisted that I go. You laid on the guilt pretty thick I might add.” Anger fills me as I reach into the pit of my belly and grab hold of the accusation that’s ready to spew. “I haven’t seen you all week! You had practice every night and then you went out drinking…”

He pulls back in an angry wince. “What? You make it sound like I have a problem with alcohol or that I’m out every night.”

“Your mother seems to think you might.” I take the opportunity to the deliver an even lower blow. “Weren’t you out drinking the night you fucked that random girl in the bar?” Stabbing him straight in the heart would’ve had the same effect by the look on his face. I try to push past him, but he reaches out for my arm. The moment the words slip from my mouth, I regret it.

“Remy, what’s going on? This isn’t you. Why are you doing this?”

I stare at his hand clasped around my arm and slowly look up to meet his gaze. “Get your goddamn hand off me.”

“I’m sorry,” he offers and removes his hand slowly as if setting a vicious animal free. “Baby, what is going on?”

“I need to get to work.”

I race around the room, gathering my work clothes. He matches me step for step as he dresses himself.

“What are you doing? Where are you going?” I ask while he dresses in a pair of jeans, T-shirt and black combat boots.

“I’m driving you to work and we’re going to talk. This is bullshit. You can’t keep things from me and not expect me to get upset. This isn’t how a relationship works.”

I nearly chuckle out loud at his comment. He’s acting as if he’s the expert on relationships. I’m not the one who cheated on someone.

“Oh for the love of God!” I dash back into the bathroom to brush my teeth and to do something with my hair. I feel his hot breath on my neck.

“I don’t know what’s gotten in to you, but we need to figure it out. I don’t want the drama, but I want you.” His big body looms behind me.

“Take it or leave it, buddy. This is me!” I spit into the sink.

I’m down the stairs in thirty seconds, walking away from his haphazardly parked truck on my way to the train until I’m swooped up and tossed over his shoulder as if I weigh nothing at all. I scream at the top of my lungs, unconcerned about the sleeping neighbors, and beat my fists on his back, demanding that he put me down, but he ignores me, choosing to walk in the opposite direction of where I was headed. I lose the will to fight and my body goes limp as it has done so many times before. But this time is different because I don’t want to fight with Shane; I know I’ll never win. Shane isn’t fighting to take something from me; he wants to give me something. Besides, the fight against a man has never claimed me to be the victor. I screw my eyes shut and force the memories away to the back of my mind where they hide.

The few steps to his truck feel like eternity. It’s not until he’s good and ready that I’m finally and slowly slid down, flush against his body, until my feet touch the pavement and I stand beside the passenger door. My hands reach out and grab his biceps, but I keep my eyes cast down. It feels as though I physically can’t draw my eyes up to look at him because I know what I’ll see. Disappointment. Frustration. Forgiveness. Love. And I can’t have any of those right now. I just need to go. I need time alone to think about what it is that I want or rather what I can have. You can’t bargain with the devil and expect him to play fair.

“Remy,” he breathes my name, tipping my chin upward with a gentle finger and cupping my face.

I want to tilt my head into his hand and enjoy the feel of his hand on my skin, but he needs answers that I can’t give him. I won’t give him. He won’t want me anymore. A rage begins to take hold at having lost the ability to make my own choices. Defiantly, I pull my chin away.

“Stop being so damn stubborn.” He cups my face again, forcing me to look at him. Blue eyes glare at me until he breaks away to unlock the door, opening it wide, allowing me the opportunity to get in of my own free will.

I choose not to move.

“Get in,” he commands with a quiet conviction which leaves no room for discussion or apparently any other option.

“God, you’re so bossy! I’m not a child.” I huff as I lift myself up and take a seat.

“Then quit acting like one,” he scoffs before slamming the door and walking around to the driver’s seat.

While I’d rather sit and stew, Shane wants to talk. I stare out the window as the morning sun begins its eastern ascent.
Damn you! Damn you!
I mentally curse her and her choices. I curse her for this life.

“Remy, what’s going on? Why won’t you talk to me?”

His words fall upon deaf ears.

“What happened last night?”

Still his questions go unanswered as the streets of Boston come alive with people getting an early start to their day.

“Is this really about me going out for a couple of beers the other night?” he prods.

I remain silent as I count the city blocks and the familiar sights that draw me closer to my place of refuge; Lenny won’t stand for this harassment.

“If anyone should be mad, it’s me.” He veers to the left quickly to avoid a delivery truck, calling the driver an idiot and forcing me to reach for the dashboard. “You…you lied to me. You told me Jenna was sick and she’s not even in the damn state.”

My eyes close as I breathe in deeply. I know he’s right, but lying is so much easier than facing the truth. My chin drops to my chest and while in quiet contemplation, I ask God to forgive me for yet another lie.

“I’m sorry I lied,” I whisper, finally opening my eyes to look at him. “I didn’t want to go to the game, but I didn’t know how to tell you. Then Jenna went to see Collin and I didn’t think you would find out. I thought I could use the excuse that she was sick and needed me if I wanted to leave.” I shrug my shoulders, “So I lied. Shoot me.”

“You didn’t have to lie to me. I would’ve respected your decision even if I disagreed with it.” He takes my hand in his and runs his thumb along the thin lifeline etched in my palm.

I breathe in sharply. “Besides I think football is stupid. Who wants to sit in the cold and watch a bunch of Neanderthals run around chasing after a ball?” Again, I shrug my shoulder like a belligerent child, but the pained expression across his face makes my heart hurt. “Why are you looking at me like that?” My voice is defensive and small.

“I don’t understand why you just didn’t tell me. It wouldn’t have been a big deal. Don’t you realize that I wouldn’t get mad at you about that? You can tell me anything. Anything at all. We’re not always going to agree on things, but that’s life. You like your hair short and bleached, I’d prefer it long and natural with those pretty red highlights. We disagree. I respect that. I would rather you just be honest and not lie to me.”

I reach for the hair that barely touches the nape of my neck, wishing I had a long curtain of hair to hide behind.

He pulls up along the sidewalk where Lenny’s Luncheonette stands where it has for over thirty years. “Remy, there’s nothing you can say that will change how I feel about you. I love you. I don’t say that lightly and I don’t say it often.”

“Okay,” I exhale slowly, nodding my head in agreement.
Tell him. Be honest. Say those three words.
My lips part as I prepare to speak, but my confidence wanes at the thought of losing him, of telling him what no boyfriend wants to hear, so instead I tell him that I have to go to work and that I’ll talk to him later.

He squeezes my hand and runs his thumb across my knuckles. “Kiss me.”

With pleading pools of blue, he waits for my affection. I lean over and place a quick peck on his soft lips.

“Not good enough.” He shakes his head as though chastising a child. “Again. This time do it like you mean it.”

Slowly, I lean in and feel my will shatter the moment his lips touch mine. He grabs the back of my head and angles it, allowing the access he needs to slip his tongue into my mouth. My body becomes putty as he deepens the kiss until he pulls back and rests his forehead against mine. “I love you.”

“No matter what?” I ask.

He pecks my nose with a soft kiss. “No matter what.”

I wave goodbye to Shane as I knock on the front door of the diner and wait for Jenna to unlock it.

“Girl,” she sings as she opens the door. “What’s going on? Shane was all upset last night looking for you. Did you—” Her eyebrows rise to her hairline.

“Yes. I
had
to,” I interrupt, walking past her into the back to get my apron and start a pot of coffee. “But I’m done. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep lying to him.”

“What’s your mom going to say about that?”

“Do I look like I care?” I toss my hands up into the air. “She could die today and I wouldn’t give a shit.”

“Hey, hey, hey. Relax, girl. What’s with you? You okay?” Lenny breezes into the dining area, his face laced with concern.