I did and there was arousal in his eyes. My eyes burned with sudden tears. I folded my arms over my breasts, everything I'd been feeling vanishing. I didn't want to be here anymore.
“What's wrong?”
There was concern in his voice, but it wasn't a compassionate, tender sound. More like how my basketball coach in high school had talked to me when I'd gotten hurt. I half expected Cade to tell me to pull myself together and get on with it.
“I thought I could do this,” I said. “If I came into it with my eyes open, knowing it was just business, but I can't take the lie.”
“What lie?”
I lifted my chin and forced myself to meet his eyes. “I was okay with not having an emotional connection, but I can't stomach the thought that you're pretending to want me.”
He chuckled and shook his head. “Seriously?” He dropped his hand to his crotch and my eyes involuntarily followed. “I'm already getting hard and I haven't even touched myself.”
I hated that he made me so confused. “But Adelle's paying you to want to do this.”
Cade sighed. “I'm going to explain this just once and then you're going to have to make a choice about whether or not you want to be here. Yes, I'm being paid to have sex with you. No, I don't do the whole emotion thing. But that doesn’t means I don't find you attractive. I'm not some ten-dollar hooker who'll do anyone who has the cash. I'm choosy about my clients and I don't take on anyone I don't think I'd enjoy fucking. I don't fantasize about other women to get through a session. When I'm turned on, it's real.”
A rush of relief went through me, chasing away the last of my lingering doubts. His words were sincere, I could feel it.
“Do we have an understanding?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Then slide your hand under the waistband of your panties and touch yourself.” The hand on his crotch returned to the back of the couch.
I kept my eyes on his face as I ran my hand over my stomach and underneath the waistband of my panties. I didn't have to feel ashamed that I found him attractive or worry about what he was thinking when he looked at me. He wanted me, wanted my body. My middle finger slipped between my folds and I found myself wet. I shivered as I touched my clit, little sparks of electricity dancing across the thousands of nerves there.
“Roll your nipple between your fingers.”
A moan escaped as I followed his instructions. The hand between my legs moved faster, falling into the steady rhythm I only used when I was alone. I applied more pressure to my nipple, my body jerking as a jolt of pain went through me.
“Stop.”
I glared at him, but didn't argue.
“Take off your panties.”
I slowly lowered them, enjoying the way his eyes dropped to my breasts as I bent over. When I straightened, I clasped my hands in front of me, not quite covering myself up, but not putting everything on display either.
“You'll find,” he said “that there are just as many preferences for the appearance of a woman's pussy as there are for breast size, hips, and all the rest.” His gaze slowly ran down my body and back up again. “I feel that a woman should choose based on what she enjoys.”
I wondered if he was purposefully taking the time to have these little moments after working me up, just to keep me on edge.
“Did your ex ask you to keep yourself trimmed?”
I shook my head. “We didn't really talk about it.”
“Have you ever shaved or waxed?”
“No.” I'd had my legs waxed once. It wasn't an experience I wanted to repeat, especially on more tender flesh.
“Try it this week,” he said. “Part of what I'll be doing is challenging you to try new things. After all, how can you know what you like if you don't experiment?” He shifted slightly. “Now, come here.”
A thrill went through me. As much as I appreciated the lessons, I couldn't deny I was eager to feel him inside me again.
“Put one of your feet up here on the couch.” He patted a spot next to his knee.
I gave him a questioning look, but did it. Heat flooded my face as I realized how this position opened me up to his gaze. His fingers curled around my ankle, holding me in place.
“Make yourself come.”
Overly conscious of how closely he was now watching me, I moved my hand between my legs. The movements were almost automatic from years of practice, but this was different. Ronald had never watched me masturbate before. Hell, I was pretty sure he'd barely registered the times I'd helped myself along while we were having sex.
My embarrassment melted away faster than I'd anticipated, driven by the new flares of arousal brought about by Cade's rapt attention. He watched as I slid a finger inside me, pumping it a few times before adding a second. As my two middle fingers moved in and out, my other hand went to my breast, my fingers twisting my nipple until I gasped. I pressed the heel of my hand against my clit as I tugged at my nipple, pain mixing with pleasure.
Cade's hand tightened around my ankle, making me realize I'd closed my eyes. I opened them just as I came, my climax hitting me with an almost physical blow. My entire body shuddered, muscles tensing. My hands stiffened where they were, the fingers around my nipple tightening until I cried out.
I stayed where I was, letting myself feel the pleasure coursing through me. Then I heard a rustle and looked down. Cade had pulled a condom out of his pocket and set it on the couch cushion next to him.
“On your knees.”
How he managed to make what should have sounded like a degrading command seem like a reasonable request, I didn't know, but I remembered him saying that everything he had me do was for my benefit. Besides, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to do what I was pretty sure he was going to tell me to do.
“Unzip my pants.”
The last time he'd told me to do that, my hands had been shaking. This time, they were steady. He shifted, spreading his legs so I could get between them and move closer.
“Pull out my cock.”
I slid my hand into his open pants, my eyes widening as I met bare skin. I glanced up at him and he winked, a grin forming on his lips. We hadn't kissed, I realized. I filed that away for future consideration though. I didn't want any distractions from the thick piece of flesh my fingers had just wrapped around. I stroked him as I pulled him out. My fingers couldn't meet at his base and my pussy throbbed at the memory of how he'd stretched me.
“Suck my cock.”
I didn't need to be told twice. I lowered my head to take the tip of him between my lips. I ran my tongue over the soft skin, then licked my way down his entire length, long stripes and little kitten licks, alternating pressure and speed until I heard Cade groan. I smiled and then took him in my mouth, letting the first few inches slide across my tongue, the taste of pre-cum surprisingly pleasant. I knew diet could change the taste of semen, but Ronald had never cared enough to even try.
“Take as much as you can.” Cade's voice sounded a little strained.
I kept going until I started to gag and then pulled back. I repeated the move, opening my throat to take him further and established a slow rhythm as my hand worked the several inches of his length I couldn't take. I sucked hard, listening to his breathing increase. I raised my head and his hips jerked.
“Stop.”
I let his cock fall from between my lips with a nearly obscene-sounding pop. When I looked up at him, his eyes were lidded, irises dark.
“Put the condom on me.”
“Don't you want to get undressed first?” I asked.
He raised an eyebrow. “No.”
I waited for an explanation, but there wasn't one. After a moment, I reached over and picked up the condom. I'd never done this before. Ronald had always been the one to put it on. I'd seen it done and knew how it worked, but this would be a first for me.
“You don't know how to do it.”
“In theory,” I said.
“Get it out.”
I did and then waited for my next instruction. Instead of speaking, however, Cade put his hands over mine, sending a wave of heat through me. Together, we slid the condom over his erection and then he released my hands.
“Up on the couch,” he said. “Put your knees on either side of my legs.”
As I moved, I wondered if he would finally touch me. Aside from his hand on my ankle and then what had happened just now, he hadn't touched me at all. I remembered how his mouth had felt on my skin, the wet heat surrounding my nipples.
“You set the pace,” he said. He folded his hands behind his head. “Ride me until I come.”
My stomach clenched at his words. I'd been on top before, but Ronald had never stated so baldly what he wanted me to do. I reached beneath me and positioned Cade's cock at my entrance. I moaned as I slowly sank down on him, taking my time. The muscles in my legs quivered as I stretched to accommodate him. Had he been so fucking big before? Small whimpering sounds came out as I reached the widest part of him. It might've been the change of position, but I swore he felt bigger than before. I squeezed my eyes closed, gasping in shuddering breaths as he filled me completely.
“Breathe,” Cade said softly, watching me intensely.
I wanted his hands on me, caressing my breasts, playing with my nipples, but there was nothing. Nothing to distract me from the nearly overwhelming sensations of being impaled on his hard cock. I shifted and he pressed against my g-spot, sending a bolt of electricity through me.
“Fuck!” My back arched and the motion rubbed him against that spot again.
“Damn,” Cade spoke through gritted teeth. “You're even more responsive than I remembered.”
I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing, but it wasn't something I cared about at the moment. I lifted myself an inch or two, then sank back down. The burn was still there, but it fed into the lingering pleasure and I liked it. I began to move, finding a rhythm I liked and letting my body relax into it, just like I did on a run.
“Play with your nipples.”
The one I'd pinched before was still tender, so I focused on the other one, tugging and twisting it until it was swollen and sensitive.
“You enjoy that,” Cade said. “You like things a bit on the rough side.”
I flushed and my rhythm faltered.
Suddenly, Cade grabbed my hips, yanking me down hard enough that I cried out. He sat up half-way, enough that our faces were close together. His expression was fierce as he gripped me tight.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Aubree,” he said firmly then realization dawned on his face. “That's it. Part of it anyway. You enjoy things you've convinced yourself you shouldn't.” He released me and leaned back again. “We'll work on that, but for right now, make yourself come again. I'm getting close.”
I tried not to think about his words as I started to move again, faster this time. My hands moved over my breasts, teasing with light scratches across my nipples until I felt the pressure inside me begin to crack. I dropped myself down on Cade's cock, biting my lip to hold back a scream as he hit something inside me that turned everything in my field of vision white.
The explosion rocked my body and I tightened around Cade. I heard him swear and his hips jerked, but all that was in the background. My body shook and arched before slumping against his chest. My overly sensitive nipples rubbed against his shirt and the extra sensation made me come again, a ripple effect of pleasure as my nerves still hummed from the previous wave.
When I started to come back to myself, I was surprised to find I was still on Cade's lap. I don't know why, but a part of me had fully expected him to push me off of him as soon as he regained his strength. Instead, he had his arms around me. As soon as I moved, however, he let me go and I sat up.
I winced as I climbed off of him. Whatever place deep inside he'd reached, there was an ache there now, mingling with what I had in my legs and pussy already. I had a feeling that tomorrow, I was going to regret agreeing to a Sunday meeting. I'd be feeling him for at least a day.
“I'll tell you this,” Cade said as he removed the condom and tossed it into a nearby trashcan. “You can definitely forget about being bad in bed as a reason why your ex left. You're a natural.”
I blushed, conflicted by the statement. Did being a natural mean I was some sort of slut?
“Aubree,” Cade said my name. “It's a compliment. You have a natural instinct for sex. It's not something that can be taught. You just need some polish. And confidence.” He pushed himself into a sitting position and tucked his now soft cock back into his pants. “When I'm done with you, no man will be able to refuse you.”
That all sounded good, I thought. And I definitely wasn't going to say no to more sessions with Cade, especially not with Adelle footing the bill. In a short amount of time, he was tapping into parts of me that I'd hidden from everyone, even myself to some extent. No matter his methods, he was doing what I wanted him to do. He was helping me become who I wanted to be.
Chapter 7
My session with Cade stuck with me into the beginning of the week. Part of it was the sex, the amazing sensation of him inside me, the pleasure of him filling me. Part of it was the memory of his eyes on me, his voice telling me what to do. But, what I found myself thinking about most of the time was how easily he'd been able to figure me out. He'd understood my insecurities, spotted kinks I'd barely acknowledged myself. I knew I wasn't easy to read since no one else in my life had seen those things before. He'd told me that this was what made him so good at what he did, knowing what women wanted and needed, but I couldn't help wondering if he was this accurate with everyone.
More than once, I told myself to let it go, to not read anything into it. This, I knew, was another lesson I needed to learn, and knew Cade would be the perfect teacher. I still believed in love, but I didn't want to equate sex with emotion all the time. I wanted to be able to have casual sex when I had an itch to scratch. I wanted to protect my heart until I found someone I could trust it with. To do this, I needed to learn how to separate physical pleasure from emotional intimacy. I refused to accept that I might just be wired that way. I had to be able to learn how to do it, and Cade was the perfect person to teach me.