“Lean back.”
I leaned back on my elbows. I wasn't nearly as self-conscious as I probably should've been, but I still kept my knees pressed together. At least, I did until Cade spoke again.
“Open your legs.”
I slowly let my knees fall apart. Cade moved around me, snapping pictures, having me shift and pose in various ways. Some sexual, some not. The more pictures he took, the more comfortable I became. I should've known that would be when Cade changed things up again.
“Lie back with your legs spread,” he instructed. “I want you to touch yourself. Make yourself come.”
Nerves threatened, but I pushed them down. I stretched out on the cushion and closed my eyes, focusing on the feel of the soft fleece against my skin. I ran one hand down my stomach and then slipped it between my legs. It was a strange sensation, going from material beneath my fingertips to skin without the usual methods of going under or taking off.
I shivered as my fingers brushed over my sensitive flesh. I'd followed all of his instructions, including a fresh wax. I found that each time I did it, I found it less unpleasant. I wasn't sure I'd do it consistently, but I had to admit I did enjoy it in moments like this.
“Tonight,” Cade said. “You're going to orgasm more times than you've ever dreamed possible.”
I swallowed hard and let my fingers slide between my folds. They found my clit easily, the little bundle of nerves already throbbing, ready to be touched. The pad of my index finger brushed across it and I shivered as a rush of arousal went through me. I was getting wetter by the second. Cade had to be able to see it, exposed as I was, his camera capturing every moment of it.
I dropped my hand and let a finger slide into my pussy. I moaned as I slowly pumped it in and out. A second one joined and I pressed down with the heel of my palm on every stroke, the base of my hand rubbing against my clit with just the right amount of pressure. My free hand moved to my breasts as I found myself growing closer to climax. Through the thin material of the bra, I caressed my breast, then began to tug on my nipple.
“That's it, baby.” Cade's voice was quiet.
The endearment, however general, spoke to a hidden part of me that wanted more from him and I cried out, shoving my fingers deep inside me as I came.
I heard movement as I came down and I opened my eyes, propping myself on my elbows again. Cade had put the camera back on the tripod, a timer making it click at evenly-spaced intervals, and was standing over me. I watched as he knelt next to me, the angle perfect to allow an unobstructed view of me while keeping him mostly out of the way.
He held up his hand and showed me the smooth rubber phallus he was holding. Last summer, I would've thought it was big because it was thicker than Ronald's, but it looked small compared to what I knew was straining against Cade's jeans. Still, when he pressed the head of it against my entrance, my body had to stretch around it. I moaned as it entered me, the cool material strange after the warmth of my fingers.
The strokes were even and deep, perfectly angled so that each one pressed against my g-spot and made me writhe. Cade's free hand roamed across my body, adding to the sensations, as his fingers rolled my nipples, then danced down my belly to rub circles on my clit. When his mouth covered my nipple, the wet heat instantly soaking through the thin material, I cried out. He pushed the dildo into me and held it there as he increased the suction on my nipple until I exploded again.
I gasped for air as he straightened and removed the toy from me. He set it aside and I waited for him to take its place between my legs. Instead, he rolled me onto my stomach and shifted the cushion beneath me until my ass was higher up. I flushed at the thought of him spanking me on camera.
“Did you follow all of my instructions?” Cade asked as he ran his hand over my ass.
For a moment, I thought he was trying to find an excuse to spank me, but then, as his finger teased between my cheeks, I realized what he wanted to know. One of his directions, the one that had embarrassed me the most, would prepare me so that he could make good on a promise he'd made while we were in Canada.
“I did,” I said softly. I tensed as his finger brushed against my asshole.
“Have you ever had anything in here?”
I would've laughed at how casual his question sounded, but I was starting to get nervous. “No,” I said.
“Just relax,” he said. “Trust me.”
I made a surprised sound when I felt something cold and wet between my cheeks, but the sound turned to a moan when Cade slipped a finger into my pussy.
“Relax,” he murmured. “I promise, this is going to feel amazing.”
After a few moments, he removed his hand. Then I felt something hard and cool at my hole.
“Breathe and relax,” he instructed as he slowly pushed it into my ass.
I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. It didn't hurt, but the pressure was unique. I felt a strange quick stretch and then the sensation was gone, replaced by something new. There was something inside my ass; I was still trying to decide how I felt about that. A moment later, a second object started to work its way in. This time, I figured out what Cade was using. I may not have been as sexually adventurous as my friends – at least not until recently – but I wasn't completely naïve.
“I chose these particular beads,” Cade said, confirming my suspicion. “Because they're all the same size, and since you're a virgin, we don't want to risk stretching you out too fast.”
“I'm not a–” I started to disagree and then realized what he meant.
“Do they hurt?” Cade asked. I thought I heard a note of concern in his voice.
“No,” I answered honestly. There was a feeling of fullness that was odd, and they rubbed against my insides in unfamiliar ways, but there was no pain.
“Now,” Cade said. “I'm going to show you exactly why these little beauties are so good.”
He slid two fingers into my pussy and I instantly felt the difference. I moaned as his fingers thrust into me, the motion causing the beads to shift, sending ripples of pleasure through me.
“Imagine,” he said. “If it was my cock inside you. Imagine how full you'd feel.”
“Fuck.” I pressed my face against the blanket. I was pushing back into his hand, driving him deeper. The duel sensations were almost too much. I didn't think I could handle both his cock and the beads inside me. Then he pushed another finger inside and I cried out, my body stiffening with an unexpected orgasm.
He stilled, holding his fingers inside until my muscles relaxed and he could move his hand again. This time, he worked his fingers inside me, rubbing against my g-spot with his knuckles before pressing against the thin wall of skin separating his hand from the beads. As his fingers twisted inside me, he slowly began to pull the beads out of my ass. My body jerked with each one, the sudden pressure and pop as they passed sending a jolt through me.
“One more time,” he said as his thumb rubbed against my clit. “Come on, baby. One more time for me.”
I started to nod, wanting to tell him I was almost there, but it was lost in a wail as he pulled the last six beads out all at once. I'd never felt anything quite like it, the electricity shooting across my nerves, muscles twitching and fluttering as I exploded again, this one harder than before.
When he pulled his fingers out of me, I shuddered, another wave of pleasure washing over me. I rolled onto my side, looking up at him. His face was smooth, unreadable, but his eyes were heated. I ran my gaze down his sculpted chest and abs to where I could see the outline of his cock through his jeans.
I reached for his zipper, determined to show him just how much I enjoyed what he had done, but he stopped me. His hands curled around mine.
“Not yet,” he said.
There was something strange in his voice and I frowned. This wasn't his commanding tone letting me know we weren't done. This was something different.
“There's something I need to tell you.”
Chapter 6
I sat up, feeling more exposed than I had just moments before. Cade didn't say anything as I pulled the blanket from behind me and wrapped it around my shoulders. I was glad for the few minutes of silence. I wasn't sure what he was going to say, but I had a feeling it was going to change everything.
“I always know the right thing to say,” he began.
I looked up at him, but he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were on his hands as they sat on his lap.
“For the past six years, I've always had the right words to say to every woman I've ever met. I know what she wants and what I need to do to give it to her.” He ran his hand through his hair. “But now, here... I can't find the words I need.”
“Just say it, Cade.” My voice sounded harsher than I meant it to be. My heart was pounding painfully against my ribcage, my palms sweaty. He knew. That had to be it; had to be the reason he’d withdrawn so suddenly. He'd figured out that I had feelings for him and he was trying to find a way to let me down easily.
He took a deep breath and my heart clench as I waited for the words to come. Instead he said the last thing I expected. “I fucked up.”
“How?” I said the word slowly, trying to understand what was behind this confession.
“I made a big deal about how I keep things professional and how, if there's the slightest bit of emotional involvement, everything ends.” He looked at me now. His expression was still guarded, but I could tell it was a struggle for him. “But I fucked up. The things I'm feeling for you, Aubree...” He reached out and brushed his fingers across my cheek. “They're anything but professional.”
I caught my breath and told myself to calm down. I needed him to explain because if this was some sort of test, I didn't want to make a wrong move.
“When I'm with you.” He shook his head. “I can't think straight. I lose control.” He gestured toward the back of the loft where the bathroom was located. “When we were in the shower and you stopped me because we weren't using a condom… that was the first time in nine years I've forgotten to use one.”
The memory of that night warmed me. I hadn't even thought of it that way.
“I tried telling myself it was because you were – and please don't take this the wrong way – more submissive than any woman I'd been with in a long time. Women who want me to dominate them, they still consider themselves in charge. They don't fully give themselves over to me.” A ghost of a smile played at his lips. “But you, even when you're fighting with me, you trust me.”
I wasn't even tempted to protest him referring to me as submissive. I hadn't explored that part of me yet, but this wasn't the time to try to figure it out. I didn't want to speak, didn't want to risk breaking whatever spell it was that had him talking so freely.
“I pretended everything was a physical reaction, because how you responded to me was something I hadn't gotten from other women I'd been with.” He put his hand on my cheek. “And then I saw you with Jason.”
I pulled the blanket more tightly around me. It wasn't a memory I wanted to dwell on.
“The reason I was so adamant about you going through with fucking him was because I thought it'd break this hold you have on me. I thought it would help me see you as just another client, but it didn't.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “Even if he hadn't hit you, I would've stopped things.” His hand slid down my neck, stopping before it went under the blanket. “I can't stand the thought of another man touching you.”
I couldn't breathe.
His voice grew rough and I could see the struggle on his face as he tried to maintain control. “I know this means we're done, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before...” He gestured around us. “I had to look at you one more time. See that expression on your face when you came.” He brushed his thumb across my bottom lip and then pulled his hand away. “But I knew I couldn't take my own pleasure in you, not like this.”
I put my finger on his lips, stopping the flow of words. “When you said you had to tell me something, I thought you were going to say this was over... because of me.” He frowned and I continued. “I feel the same way. I've been trying to lie to myself, to deny the feelings I have for you, hoping they'd go away. They haven't.”
He started to shake his head. “Aubree, that's... I...”
“Hey, usually when someone confesses that they care about you too, it's a good thing.” I tried to keep my tone light, but I didn't understand why he was protesting.
“You don't know,” he said, looking away. “There are things about me...”
“Cade,” I spoke slowly. “I know you have sex for money. Kinda how we met.” I reached up and turned his face back toward me. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
After a moment, he began, “I told you about my mom, but I didn't tell you what I did.” I paused and watched the guilt slide into grief on his face. “I ran. I knew she was dead. There was no point in calling an ambulance and I knew that if I called the cops, they'd arrest my dad. I knew they'd want me to testify against him. And I knew he'd just charm his way out of it like he did everything else. They'd make me go with him, and he'd spend every day until I was eighteen reminding me that it was all my fault. If he didn't just kill me too.”
“Cade,” I started to speak but he cut me off.
“I was on the streets for a few months, doing odd jobs here and there, trying to stay under the radar.” He paused for a moment, like he was trying to decide if he wanted to tell me what came next.
During that silence, I realized I was about to discover how he'd gotten involved in prostitution in the first place. My throat grew tight as I understood the level of trust he was placing in me.
“There was this rich woman, maybe thirty or so, and she hired me to do some work around a house she'd inherited. She fed me, let me stay in the guest house... and then she offered me money to fuck her.”
I was glad my hands were under the blanket and he couldn't see me twisting my fingers together. What kind of woman propositions a kid she should've been helping? Okay, so he may have been eighteen by then, but it didn't mean she hadn't taken advantage of him and his situation.