Without taking his eyes off me, he pushed the emergency stop and then crossed that short distance again.
“Mine,” he repeated as he claimed my mouth.
The moment our lips touched, I was gone. It wasn't smart. In fact, it was probably one of the stupidest things I'd ever done, but I couldn't help myself. My body craved his. The need to have him touch me was almost physically painful. I sighed when his hands slid down my sides to cup my ass. I didn't care what happened next, if he was going to simply walk away, having proven that I wanted him but he didn't feel the same or if this was going to keep going until I was coming so hard my eyes rolled back into my head. All I could think about was how his tongue was twisting around mine and how close his hands were to bare flesh.
Then his mouth was gone and I was gasping for air. I blinked, confused. I didn't know why he'd stopped. Then I saw him kneeling in front of me.
Shit.
Heat flooded my body and I hoped I wasn't wrong about what he was going to do.
He looked up at me as his hands slid up my calves, over my knees and then to my thighs. When he reached the hem of my dress, I half-expected him to hesitate and ask if it was okay. He didn't and I realized he was trusting me to stop him if I didn't want it.
Fuck that.
I swallowed hard as his fingers curled around the waistband of the silk panties I was wearing. He pulled them down and I started to step out of them. I only managed to get one leg out, however, before he was shoving my legs further apart and pushing up my skirt, exposing my bare pussy.
My eyes rolled as his tongue made a long pass across my folds before dipping between them. I moaned as his talented mouth pleasured me. The shock of seeing Cade and my body's instinctual reaction to his possessiveness had already set me on edge, so it wasn't long before I felt that familiar sensation twisting low in my belly. I ran my fingers through his hair and he looked up at me without taking his mouth away.
The sight of those eyes darkened with desire, that gorgeous face pressed against me... he sucked my clit and I came. I made a breathless sound and closed my eyes, my hips twitching as he continued to work over my sensitive flesh.
A finger slipped inside me and I jerked. Cade groaned as my fingers tugged at his hair, but he didn't let up. He made slow, even strokes with his finger even as he licked around my opening, caressing the quivering flesh until I cried out and came again. My eyes closed as I struggled to absorb the myriad sensations coursing through me.
“Fuck!” My hands slapped against the elevator wall as a second finger slid inside my pussy. I gasped in air, each breath so deep that, if I'd been able to think about it, I might've worried my breasts would pop free of the top of my dress. At the moment though, I could care less. I could've been stark naked against that wall as long as Cade didn't stop.
He crooked his fingers and I wailed. I clapped a hand over my mouth, stifling the sound before it got too loud. It didn't stop my climax from crashing over me, making my knees buckle. Cade put his hand on my stomach and his shoulders against my knees, holding me in place as his tongue circled my clit, then dropped down to tease around where his fingers were stretching me.
“Please,” I gasped, dropping my hand. “Please, Cade, no more. It's too much.”
He looked up at me again and shook his head, taking my swollen clit into his mouth and gently sucked. I thrashed and writhed, nonsensical sounds falling from my mouth until another orgasm rocked through me. This time, however, he granted me relief, removing his hand from between my legs and standing, wrapping his arms around me and holding me until I stopped shaking.
I clutched his shirt, pressing my face against his chest and breathing in his scent. I knew I was going to have to deal with this soon, but at the moment, I needed to regain my composure before I could do anything that required coherent thought. I just wanted to enjoy the feel of Cade's arms around me, his hand running through my hair.
“That's my girl,” he whispered. His voice sent a shiver down my spine. “My Aubree.” He kissed my forehead.
Reluctantly, I pulled away from him. I caught a flash of something across his eyes, but didn't say anything. No matter what I said, it would start a conversation I didn't want to have in the elevator. I pulled my panties off, then tugged down my dress. As I reached around him to hit the button to get us going again, I shoved my panties into Cade's back pocket. I felt him tense and when I straightened, I saw his eyes were warm again.
I tried not to sigh out loud. What the hell had I just let myself get into?
Chapter 4
Neither one of us said a word as we walked the short distance down the hall to my apartment. My hands were shaking and my head spinning, but I didn't ask him for help. I wasn't sure I could handle him touching me, even just a brush of fingers by accident. Not until I knew what was going on.
I felt his eyes on me as I struggled to get the key into the lock, but I didn't look at him. I needed the safety of my own place before I could risk it. What had happened in the elevator was proof I couldn't control myself around him.
I walked inside and left the door open behind me, hoping he'd read that as an invitation. When I heard the door close, I knew he had. I walked to the far side of the room before turning toward him. He stopped a few feet away, and I was grateful for that. My insides were in knots and every inch of me was tense again. Despite all that had happened, I wanted him, but I wasn't sure my heart could take another beating. The only thing I did know was that I wasn't going to speak first.
“I don't know any other way to say this than to just come out with it.”
It took me a moment to realize why his voice sounded strange, but when I did, I was surprised. He was nervous. My strong, confident Cade was nervous. My heart did a little somersault when I realized I'd referred to him as “my” Cade.
“I tried to go back to how things were before, but I couldn't.” He ran his hand through his hair, pushing it back off his face. “I even had a client earlier this week.”
I looked down. I didn't want to hear about that.
“But I couldn't do it.”
My head came back up and my eyes met his. There was no mistaking the honesty I saw there.
“And I don't just mean mentally,” he said. “I kept looking at her, trying to convince my body that I found her attractive, but it wasn't happening. I couldn't see anything but the ways she wasn't you.”
I felt a flare of hope and tried to squash it. I needed to hear him out. He'd told me he cared about me before. For all I knew, this was just going to be him talking about how he needed to get me out of his system.
“For the first time since I started doing this, I couldn't... perform.” He took a step toward me. “I didn't want her. I wanted you.”
I swallowed hard. I couldn't do this. I couldn't wait for him to infuse me with hope only to take it away again. “I want you too.” His face lit up and then crumpled as I continued, “But it's not enough.” Seeing the pain I brought to him made my heart ache, but I had to make sure he understood I wasn't going back. “I tried too. I tried to do the casual sex thing. And not just tonight.”
His mouth tightened and I saw the jealousy burn in his eyes, mixing with the hurt there. Heat flooded me as I remembered him saying how he didn't want another man touching me.
“I couldn't go through with it then,” I said. “We went back to his place and when he was kissing me, all I could think was that he wasn't you.”
“And tonight?” The question was soft, as if he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.
“I was planning to sleep with him,” I admitted. “Because I saw you with that woman at the club and figured you'd be having sex with her.”
He frowned for a moment. “The woman at the... oh, her. She's a pro.” He must've realized that didn't really help matters because he quickly added, “When I told her I was too, she left me alone. No money in trying to seduce another escort.”
“It doesn't matter,” I said. “Because this isn't what I want.” He flinched and I had to force myself to continue. “I can't do the casual sex thing. That's not who I am. And I still can't be with you, no matter how much I want to, not while you're with other women.”
“I'm not.” His voice was firm. “That's what I came here to tell you. I'm done with that life. After experiencing what it's like to have a deep emotional connection, I couldn't have sex with some random person. Not anymore.”
I folded my arms across my chest. No, I wouldn’t dare to hope. I'd let my guard down in the elevator, but he'd surprised me. I hadn't had time to shield myself, to prepare. Now, I'd pulled myself together.
“I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, Aubree.” He moved closer, his gaze holding me in place. “The way you look. The sound of your voice. Your scent.” He reached out and wrapped a curl around his finger. “How you feel.”
I closed my eyes as he ran the back of his hand down my cheek. I couldn't deny the way my skin warmed under his touch, how the heat in my stomach spread through me at the mere thought of his hand in more intimate places.
“Tell me you haven't thought about me,” he said. “Tell me honestly that this isn't what you want and I'll go. That you don't feel the same way I do. You do that and, I promise, I'll walk away and never bother you again.”
Tears burned against my eyelids and I bent my head. I couldn't tell him such lies because it wasn't true. I cared more about him than he did me. I'd been lying to myself when I said I was over him after seeing him with that blonde. I wasn't over him and I didn't think I'd ever be. I wasn't just falling for him. I was in love with him.
Which was why I had to let him go.
It hurt now, but it would be so much worse if I let him in and he later realized what he felt for me wasn't as strong. I knew myself better because of him and I knew if I allowed him in, I would give myself over whole-heartedly, without reservation. I was already his and to admit my feelings would be the final step. Look at how long I stayed with Ronald because I'd refused to consider that things were done. And I'd never felt for my ex even a fraction of what I felt for Cade. How depressed I'd been this past week was proof of my weakness. If I let him, he'd own me.
So I stayed silent and let him read into it what he would.
His hands rested lightly on my shoulders and I felt him kiss the top of my head. “Okay then. I'll keep my promise.” He released me. “Good-bye.”
The tears spilled over at the pain I heard in those words and I pressed my hands against my chest. I heard him start to walk away. And then, so quiet that I might have imagined it, I heard him speak.
“I love you, Aubree.”
Chapter 5
I felt my heart thump wildly against my palms. He loved me. He didn't just care about me or want to be with me. He hadn't even said that he was falling for me. He said he loved me.
My head jerked up, tears streaming down my cheeks. The door was open and he was stepping into the hallway, but I couldn't move. I couldn't even speak. He was going to close the door and disappear. I'd never see him again and he'd never know I loved him too...
“Cade!” His name ripped out of me and I saw him freeze. “Don't leave me.”
A shudder went through him but he didn't turn. The fingers curled around the doorknob tightened until his knuckles turned white. “Aubree.”
The agony in that single word, in my name, the name only Cade used… it broke through my paralysis and I ran to him. He must've heard me move because he started to turn, getting around in time to catch me as I threw my arms around him and buried my face against his chest. His arms closed around me, tentatively at first, as if he was still trying to process what had happened, then tighter.
“Please don't leave me.” I was crying as the realization of how close I came to losing him hit me.
“Shh,” he murmured as he smoothed my hair. “I'm not going anywhere.” He moved us both so he could shut the door and give us privacy, but we didn't go more than a couple steps. He rested his cheek on my head as his hands moved up and down my bare back, but there was only comfort in his touch, nothing sexual.
Slowly, I calmed down. He stayed. I hadn't said those words yet, but he stayed because I asked him to. I pulled back until I could look up at him. His expression was blank and I understood why. He'd opened himself up to me and I'd been the one who'd fucked up this time. Well, I wasn't going to wait any longer to fix it.
“I love you, Cade.” I reached up, placing my hand on his cheek. “I was just too scared to say it. I didn't think you felt the same way.”
I saw cautious hope in his eyes and vowed I'd never again do anything to make him think I didn't care.
“You don't have to say it,” he said. “It's okay. If you want me to stay, I'll stay.” He ran the tip of his finger just under my bottom lip. “You can have as much of me as you want and I won't ask for anything in return.”
“I want all of you, Cade,” I said firmly. “My Cade.”
I had a moment to see desire and love blaze across his eyes and then his mouth was on mine. His tongue pushed at my lips and I parted them willingly, running my tongue out to curl around his. His teeth scraped against my lips and I moaned. He buried a hand in my hair, cupping the back of my head as he deepened the kiss. I could feel the desire radiating from every part of him and knew it was so much more than physical. I pressed my body even closer, rubbing my hip against his crotch until he moaned into my mouth.
I didn't know how long we stood there, only that when he finally broke the kiss, we were both gasping for air and my knees were trembling.
He rested his forehead against mine. “My Aubree?” He made it a question, so tentative that it tore at my heart.
“Your Aubree.” I confirmed and pulled him down for another kiss.
Any hesitation that had lingered must've been chased away by my answer because I felt him shift into the confident, dominating man I first met less than two months ago. His hands slid down over my ass as his tongue plundered my mouth. I tugged at the hem of his shirt, eager to get my hands on bare skin. When my palms skimmed across his sides, his muscles twitched and he groaned. His hands moved further down and he picked me up. Without breaking our kiss, I wrapped my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck.