Catalyst (8 page)

/ˈkərə
nt/ 

noun

1. a flowing; flow, as of a river.
   
2. something that flows, as a stream.
   
3. a large portion of air, large body of water, etc., moving in a certain direction.
   
4. the speed at which such flow moves; velocity of flow.
   
5. Electricity, 
   electric current
   .
   
6. a course, as of time or events; the main course; the general 
   

DID HE SEE
my face?
It was warm, which meant I was blushing, badly. I hadn’t lied. He was in better shape than anyone I’d ever seen, and he knew it. He also knew how to push my buttons. I climbed down the ladder and made my way toward the sandy beach area that Sonnet always inhabited this time of year. In a few weeks, she would return for her final year of school and her days of worshipping the sun would be over for a while.

I wondered if Aric would be here with her, if what Mitis had seen in Aric was just a result of an active imagination or if he could hold some true affection for me. That would be beyond awkward considering he was dating Sonnet and would probably marry her one day soon.

I cringed as Mitis sauntered up beside me. There was no mistaking the swagger that my tiny comment had infused into his gait.
So cocky.
He passed me by and then smirked when he looked over his shoulder at me. “Coming?”

“Yes,” I huffed, which only made him laugh.

We crossed the dry hay along the bank and made our way toward the beach where the noise was coming from. The hay felt like too-dry strands of hair as it tickled my palm. The laughter sounded like the tinkling of bells. No wonder Sonnet loved it here.

Speak of the devil. When we were close enough to see everyone along the small stretch of what looked like real sand, Sonnet came stalking toward us. Her boobs were on display in a barely-there orange bikini and were now angrily bouncing at me and Mitis as she all but ran toward us. “What are
you
doing here?” she screeched accusingly.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Mitis beat me to it. “She’s showing me around Confidence.” He smiled at her and she stopped her advance and took him in. He was wiping his brow with the short sleeve of his arm.

She almost swooned. Did women really do that?

She grabbed his forearm and smiled. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that? But you know, you should have asked me, Seven doesn’t know much about Confidence. She rarely leaves the house.” Sonnet turned to shoot daggers at me with her evil, dark eyes.

It might have been juvenile, but I stuck my tongue out at her. I really wanted to find a rock and launch it at her skull, but my tongue was the only thing I had handy at the time. It seemed that rocks and hay fields didn’t mix.

“Let me introduce you to some friends,” she chirped to Mitis.

He grinned back at me and ticked his head for me to follow them. And then he did the unthinkable. He tugged on the back collar of his shirt….right before he pulled it over his head. My God. I wanted to order him to put it back on. And I wanted to lick him. A little. A lot. He was sculpted of sinew and steel. I was sure of it. He laughed with Sonnet and I watched her drink him in as they walked forward. I didn’t miss her smile or the way she fluttered her fake lashes at him either.

Luckily, the white sand beach had been warmed by the sun all morning. I forgot about my sister and Mitis for a moment and kicked my shoes and socks off, just enjoying the warmth on my toes and the way the tiny grains tickled my skin. A shadow stopped next to mine, and I looked over to find Aric standing beside me.

I was afraid to look at him. He was probably angry that Sonnet was throwing herself at my companion. If I was in his position, I would have been.

“Seven? Why didn’t you mention you were coming to the lake today?” he asked softly.

I looked at him and he wasn’t angry or…anything unpleasant. He was smiling and if I wasn’t imagining things, somewhat bewildered. He reached his hand up and brushed the pad of his thumb over my jaw.

“You’re here.”

“Yes. I’m here,” I giggled.

He stepped back and smiled. Then it hit me! “Hey, you and Sonnet go to parties. Are any planned for this week?”

Aric pushed his fists into his pockets and scuffed the sand with the soles of his feet, one and then the other. “Yeah. There’s a bonfire tomorrow night after sundown if you want to come. It’ll be here on the beach.” He pointed to a large circle of ashes left over from a previous evening of fun.

“Okay, thanks!”

“No prob—”

A shrill scream interrupted him. “Aric, what are you doing with
her
?” Sonnet was now dragging Mitis behind her and approaching Aric with a murderous look in her eyes. That look was turned on me in an instant.

He stepped away, immediately putting distance between us. “I was saying hello to your sister and inviting her and her companion to the bonfire tomorrow night.”

“You have got to be kidding me. She’ll be too sick to go. Right, Seven?” She was begging with her voice and expression.

“No, I think we’d love to come. Would you like to go to the bonfire, Mitis?”

He grinned. “Absolutely.”

She smiled at him and looked directly at Aric. “At least Mitis is coming.”

Aric’s smile dropped.

She grabbed Mitis’s hand and tugged him away. “There are a few more people you should meet, Mitis.”

I watched in terror as she introduced him as her dying sister’s companion, explaining how our parents finally took pity on me and bought me a friend before I died. I’d forgotten that Aric was still standing nearby until he cleared his throat.

“I know that’s not true. I’m not sure why she likes to torture you like that.”

“She hates me.”

He shook his head. “You can’t hate what you want to be, Seven.”

That was ridiculous. Sonnet didn’t want to be me. She just wanted rid of me.

“Why don’t you come for a swim? The water’s really warm, the warmest it’s been all summer and the warmest it’ll be. The days are getting shorter.”

Time was running out. Mitis was busy with Sonnet. I would mark an item off my list without his help.

“I don’t have a suit.”

Aric smiled. “When we were kids you never cared.”

“Is that a dare?” A warm breeze fluttered through the tall grasses just beyond the sand, making it dance. Aric never answered. He just turned his back and waited, like he knew that I’d accept the challenge.

I slipped off my sweater, shirt and then pants, folding them into a neat pile. I’d worn my matching navy bra and panty set that had tiny white polka dots hand-sewn into them and a tiny piece of white ribbon at the waistline and above each bra cup.

They were my favorites, and I couldn’t wait feel the water. My skin pebbled. Even in the bright, hot sun, on the warmest day of the year thus far, I was cold. But Aric was right. It wouldn’t get any better than this.

I walked past him to the edge of the water, where the sand started squishing and feeling more like mud between my toes. The sound of raucous laughter came from our right. While everyone was gushing over Mitis, he was actually helping me. He held their attention and kept it and Sonnet away so that I could enjoy this moment, so that I could cross another item off my list.

No one noticed when I waded into the water, first to my knees, then to my waist….then to my neck.

Aric entered the water a moment later. It was if he had sensed that I needed to do it by myself. The water felt frigid, and it didn’t take long for my teeth to begin to chatter.

“Why are you
here
?” I asked him, treading the water to keep my head above the surface.

Droplets of water cascaded down his face. He wiped it from his eyes. “What do you mean?”

I nodded toward Sonnet. “Why aren’t you over there with Sonnet? Why don’t you believe all of the lies she tells everyone about me?” He opened his mouth, but I stopped him. “I know what she says. And I know everyone looks at me like I’m a freak...either that or with pity. And I can’t stand either one.”

“Seven, I have never thought you were a freak.”

“But you do pity me?” I swam further away from him.

“No. It’s not that exactly. It’s just that I wish you were healthy. I wish you could enjoy this water, and everything else that a person our age should take advantage of.” He swallowed. “I guess I just hate it that you’re sick. I hate it
for
you. But I do not pity you, because you’re so strong, Seven.”

Fine. He didn’t pity me, he just felt the injustice of dying young. Well, welcome to the club, buddy.

“And I’m not with
her
because at this moment, I don’t want to be.”

He swam closer, his eyes trained on me. I realized something at that moment. I couldn’t be that girl. Despite how awful Sonnet was, I couldn’t betray her like this. “Aric?”

“Hmm?” His gray-blue eyes locked on mine with a ferocity that I hadn’t seen from him before.

“Go to Sonnet. I want you to leave me alone, please,” I asked.

His muscles tensed as he gasped, my words filling his lungs like a drowning, torrent of water. He nodded and started toward shore but turned and left me with a parting comment. “I don’t want her.”

“You have led her to believe you do. And now you have her,” I argued.

“It’s not official.”

I snorted. “Only because I haven’t married or died yet.”

Looking to the shore, I saw one very pissed off Sonnet, arms crossed over her chest, foot tapping on the sandy shore and one very intense Mitis stalking into the water after me.

I swam backward, retreating from him, leaving Aric to fend for himself. He shouldn’t be chasing his girlfriend’s sister. That alone tells me I don’t want him or anyone like him. Besides being gross, it’s just not right.

“What was that all about?” Mitis growled, splashing his way toward me. He cut the distance in half in three seconds and was in front of me in another.

“You’re going to regret not taking off those pants,” I told him.

“Nah. I saved the only thing that mattered. It’s with your clothes.”

My list. He’d saved it.

Despite the fact that it warmed my heart, I was in trouble. I treaded water, trying to keep my teeth and jaw still. They were traitorous. At the sound of the chattering, Mitis pointed an accusing finger at me. “You’re freezing!”

I just smiled. “No. I’m free.”

I never imagined that something as simple as floating on my back in the sunshine would feel so amazing.

/spärk/

noun

1. ignited or fiery particle such as is thrown off by burning wood orproduced by one hard body striking against another.
   
2. anything that activates or stimulates; inspiration or catalyst.
   
3. small amount or trace of something.
   
4. a trace of life or vitality.
   

SHE FLOATED FOR
as long as I could stand it. When I felt small ripples of water hit my chest, I all but begged her to get out, pretty sure that her quivering caused them. First time I’d begged for anything in my life. She was a stubborn little thing.

Easing one arm behind her back and the other under her knees, I scooped her up fast so she couldn’t protest. Scratch that. She did protest. A lot. But there was nothing she could do about it. I was stronger, warmer and faster. Easing us out of the water, the wind hit us cooling my skin and freezing her to death. I had no idea she was going to decide to swim today. We weren’t prepared. For future reference, here was
my
swimming preparedness list:

1.    
   Make sure Seven wears a swimsuit—that covers up a LOT more than her bra and panties
   
2.    
   Bring shorts to swim in
   
3.    
   Bring a blanket
   
4.   
   Hide from Sonnet
   
5.    
   Don’t kill your companion
   
6.    
   Don’t kill the guy hitting on your companion
   
7.    
   Don’t kill her sister, either
   

I sat on the ground with Seven in my arms. She struggled, but I shushed her. “Listen, just sit with me. I’m warm. The sun is warming me. You need to be warm. It’s nothing weird. Just let me hold you and keep you from getting hypothermia.” Stubborn woman.

She sniffled and curled into my torso, burying her face in my neck. I couldn’t help but tease her. “Are you sniffing me? This is getting really awkward now.”

She denied it…quickly and vehemently, trying to pull away.

“Stop,” I said with a nudge.

“I was not sniffing you. You smell horrible.”

She walked right into that one. “How do you know that I smell horrible unless you were sniffing me?”

She lifted her head, a look of disgust on her face. But I didn’t miss the tinge of pink on her cheeks. I pulled her back toward me and pretended that I wasn’t holding her mostly-naked body on top of my own. Instead, I thought about dead rabbits and noisy crickets and that moron Aric….that did it.

If I kept thinking about those tiny white polka dots,
I
was going to be blushing…actually, worse than that.

Dead kittens. Clotheslines. Leeches. Paper cuts. Leeches on paper cuts.

After sitting in the sun long enough for her to dry and hopefully warm up, she stretched and stood up, reaching for her clothes and pulling them on quickly. I kept my eyes trained on the ground, where her list had landed. The pen was burning a hole in my pocket. Water droplets soaked into the paper. The pen had been in my pocket when I went for a swim. It should still work. I’d swiped it from her desk this morning before we left.

“Want to do the honors?” I asked, using my hand to shield my eyes from the harsh sun that had moved over toward the west.

“Sure,” she said, plopping back down beside me and crossing her legs in front of her. She drew a dramatic line through number one and paused with the pen tip over eleven. “We’re finishing our walk, right?”

“You feel like it?”

“Yeah. I’m okay.”

Seven looked pale and weaker than she had when she woke up this morning. The pep in her step was now gone, absorbed by the warm water that felt like heaven to me and hell to her. She marked through number one and then moved the pen until it hovered directly over number seven.

1.    
   Go swimming.
   
2.    
   Sleep under the stars
   
3.    
   Go to a party
   
4.   
   Dance with a guy
   
5.    
   …in the rain
   
6.    
   Make a mess
   
7.    
   Have my first kiss
   
8.   
   Drive a car
   
9.    
   ….really fast.
   
10. Walk the perimeter of the wall
    
11.  
    Go to the market
    
12. Drink alcohol
    
13. Get a tattoo
    
14. Blend in
    
15. Belly laugh
    
16. Hold someone’s hand
    
17. Give a random person a hug
    
18. Help Mitis
    
19. …and his friend.
    

20. Leave the city.

I jumped to my feet. “He touched you?” Clenching and unclenching my fists, I saw red. Aric might like Seven more than Sonnet, but he was still Sonnet’s boyfriend. And he wasn’t touching Seven—ever.

“No.” Seven put her hand out for me to help her up. Half of me wanted to. The other half was already hunting some preppy Elite’s hind end. It needed to be beaten. Now.

Ultimately, I helped her up. “Tell me he didn’t kiss you.”

She shook her head fast. “No. He didn’t. I promise.”

I couldn’t look at her and I didn’t even understand why. Instead, I paced. “Mitis?”

Why would he pick now?
Why now?

She had a companion. He’d never helped her before. Had he? Seven never mentioned him helping her. She hadn’t mentioned him at all. She was dying, so why would he bother now? And in front of Sonnet! Neither seemed monogamous to one another. That was weird in itself, but hitting on your girlfriend’s sister was lower than low.

She’d moved closer. Her fingers found my forearm and stilled my thoughts. “Mitis?”

“Yeah?”

“I think we should head home.” Her voice sounded off. It was weak, tired.

Finally, I pulled my head out of the clouds and looked at her. She was still trembling and was whiter than a ghost. “You going to pass out on me again?”

“No.”

“You need food.”

She shook her head. “No! No food.”

“You have to eat, Seven.”

“No!” She glanced up at me wearily, before continuing, “No, Mitis. It makes me sick.”

I thought for a second. “Are there any places to just get a piece of fruit? An apple or something?”

She scrunched her nose. “There is a market somewhere around here. I’ve heard Sonnet say they sometimes buy lunch from a market near the lake.”

I extended my hand and waited. “Let’s go find it. It’ll give us an excuse to look around,” I said with a smile, hoping she took the bait. No way was I letting her climb back up on the wall. If she fainted, she’d break her neck.

It was one of the things I admired most about her. She knew she was going to die, but she wasn’t going to lie down and wait for death to find her. Seven was going to go out with her wings spread wide. She may have never stretched them before, but she was bound and determined to now, and I was going to help her.

But first….grub. She had to eat, even if it was only a few bites. She was going to finish walking on the wall that surrounded the city. And she was going to do it today. It was marked off the list. So it was no longer an option.

On the far side of the lake, the concrete maze began. And as we walked along the heated pavement, we came across more and more people. Most wore simple cotton pants and tops. Most looked clean enough, but we were definitely not in the Elite section of town. Buildings and homes were more dilapidated. Stone walls crumbled. There was no grass to be seen—other than dried, brown remnants and weeds that revolted against the desolation. The rancid smell of warmed garbage filled the air.

“Must not be incinerator day,” Seven smiled. I tilted my head at her in question. She pointed at me. “You’re making a disgusted face. It’s the smell of the trash, right?”

“I don’t have a disgusted face.”

She giggled. “You totally do. It’s like your lips and your brows try to inch close to your nose, and you’re features are all bunched up.”

“Whatever. That’s ridiculous.” I feigned innocence. It had smelled terrible. “What’s incinerator day?”

“The city burns its garbage. I guess in old times they used to bury it, but now they burn it. There’s a schedule, and each section of town is assigned a certain day. Sundays are reserved for the dead.”

What? “They burn the dead?”

She paused on the sidewalk, staring down at the moss peeking up through the cracks. “Yeah. There isn’t room to bury everyone who dies. The city is bigger than anyone realizes. There is one cemetery, but it’s exclusive. Only those who can afford a plot of the earth are buried there.” I didn’t miss the way her voice faded out.

“Like those who can afford a companion?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

I followed her lead. When she began to walk again, I stepped with her, ignoring the glances of the citizens of Confidence, their eyes honing in on my collar. At the lake, I’d gotten it wet, and the stupid thing was rubbing the skin of my neck uncomfortably.

Seven stopped abruptly. “The thing of it is, Mitis…I don’t want that. I don’t want to be buried there. That’s the reason for number 20. I want out of this city. If I’m going to die, I don’t want them to be able to pretend to mourn me. They don’t care. You should have seen them the day the doctors gave me the news. They were inconvenienced. They don’t love me, and they never have. If I die…
when
I die, they’ll make a big parade, taking my body to the cemetery, placing it in the ground and putting some expensive stone over my head. My mother will pretend to weep and will dress in head to toe black, making sure she looks perfect in her specially-designed for the occasion dress. She’ll accept condolences, food and flowers and make a spectacle of herself to get attention.”

She took a deep breath. “And that’s just my mother. My father will use my death to get ahead politically. He’ll say that it isn’t fair for parents to bury their children, faking tears and a breaking voice. He’ll call for better healthcare and research into terminal illnesses and their treatments. The citizens will vote for him again because they pity him and because they are too stupid to see through the façade. The average citizen will buy into his act.”

Her eyes bore into mine. “I should get to choose where I die. I get no say in when, and I want to die outside that wall,” she said, looking back in the direction of the lake. “I don’t want them to use me for their own gain and I don’t want them to ever find me.”

I nodded.

She looked in the opposite direction, and her eyes lit up. “The market!” And with more strength than I thought she possessed, she dragged me in the direction of the fresh-smelling fruit and vegetables. I wondered where they all came from.