“And what about you? Are you okay with it now?”
Heat rushed to Sophie’s cheeks. “We’ve come to an … understanding.”
Felicity pierced her with a stare. “What kind of understanding?” Then, “Oh … my … God! I knew it. No way would you be able to go to one of the most romantic countries in the world without getting horizontal with that gorgeous hot-blooded Italian. You lucky girl!”
“I didn’t say that.” Sophie straightened the foil on a pan of shrimp and cream cheese pinwheel appetizers Felicity had made.
“You didn’t have to. It’s written all over your face. So what exactly does this, ahem, understanding involve?”
Sophie shrugged nonchalantly, even though she knew her flushed cheeks must resemble a boiled lobster by now. Felicity had an uncanny knack for reading her like a book. And she was usually spot on. “We’re going to try to make it work. Give the relationship a real chance this time.”
“Are we talking marriage here?”
Sophie shook her head. “No. Max isn’t the marrying type. I don’t think he’ll ever be able to make that kind of commitment.” She was pretty sure of it now, since she’d learned what kind of childhood he’d had. Max wouldn’t let anyone get close enough to reject him again. And that included her.
“You’re okay with that?”
“I think I am. I know he’s giving Alex and me the best he can. We’ll just have to see how it goes.” A twinge of sadness pricked her heart. It would have been nice to be a real family.
“Good.” Felicity picked up the pan and took it to the refrigerator. “It’s about time you had a serious relationship.” The bell jingled against the front door. She looked past Sophie and whispered, “Uh … oh. He’s here.” She pasted on a smile and said a bit louder, “Good evening, Mr. Westbrook. I’ll go to the back to work on some desserts and let you two catch up.” She hurried toward the double silver doors and vanished from sight.
Sophie stilled. It was time. Her hand trembled, but she was determined not to let her father intimidate her this time. He couldn’t hurt her any more. She’d make damn sure of it. Slowly, she turned around on the stool. “Hello, Father.”
Then she swallowed a soft gasp.
The man standing in the doorway barely resembled the man she’d left in California. More like a shell of who he used to be. Instead of the tall, proud, unyielding father she remembered, this man was thin – almost too thin – completely gray-haired and a bit weathered. The years hadn’t been kind to him and it showed.
“Sophia, darling,” Miles Westbrook choked brokenly. “I’ve missed you so much.” He hobbled toward her favoring his left leg.
Sophie cringed at his use of her Christian name. He was the only person she knew who called her Sophia.
A sudden kaleidoscope of emotions overwhelmed her. She gritted her teeth. As much as she hated him for what he’d done to her and her mother, the sight of the broken man before her tugged on her heartstrings. Something she hadn’t expected. She steeled herself against the emotional assault. She would not betray her mother’s memory by feeling
anything
for him.
“What do you want?” she asked coldly.
Pain flickered across his worn face. “I had hoped you would have forgiven me by now.”
“Forgiven you?” Sophia spat. “For killing my mother? Not hardly.”
Miles recoiled as if she’d physically slapped him. “My God, Sophia! Is that what you think? That I killed her?”
Sophie jumped up from the stool, anger seething from every pore in her body as she faced him. Six years of pent-up hurt and resentment bubbled through her. “You may not have pulled the trigger, but you drove her to it. Carousing around with a different woman every night, all the lies, not to mention the isolation she felt while waiting for you to come home, yet knowing you wouldn’t. I know. I was there with her picking up the pieces when you trampled all over her heart! Where were you when she really needed you?”
“Sophia, love. It wasn’t like that. There are things you don’t know. Things we tried to shelter you from.” He rubbed his face with his hand and said almost to himself, “Maybe we sheltered you too much. Maybe it would have been best to tell you the truth. Please, give me a chance to explain.” His green eyes – so much like her own – pleaded with her.
“What truth? Are you denying the fact you cheated on Mom?” A hysterical laugh bubbled up. “Don’t even try to pretend it didn’t happen. I saw you myself a couple of times.”
“I’m not denying anything, Sophia,” Miles said wearily. “Yes. I cheated on your mother. I’m not proud of it and I will always regret it, but there are things you don’t know. Reasons you couldn’t have possibly understood as a child. But you are right. I should have found another way to … to deal with it.”
“I know enough. I know I watched my mother shrivel up and die because you didn’t love her. Didn’t care anything about her. Or me, for that matter!”
Miles winced. “Sophia, that is not true. I loved you very much. I still do. You’re my daughter.”
“Then why weren’t you there for me while I was growing up? You missed everything. Birthdays. Baseball games. Most holidays. Everything! I never had a father. Do you have any idea how many nights I stayed awake hoping you’d make it to at least one of my games? Or my birthday? Or anything? I was thirteen before I realized you didn’t give a damn about either one of us.” A strangled sob escaped her lips before she placed a hand over her mouth.
“Sophia … oh …God, love. I wanted to be there for all of it. I just – I couldn’t.” Miles reached for her, but Sophia backed away. There was no way she’d ever forgive him for what he’d done. Ever!
“Why couldn’t you? Because coming to your child’s birthday or baseball game might interfere with one of your lady friends or a business deal? Just once I wanted you to put us first. Just once.”
A long silence followed her outburst. Then, “Because your mother wouldn’t let me,” Miles stated flatly.
“Don’t you dare blame it on Mom! I’m the one who was there with her all those years. I’m the one who watched her go from deliriously happy one minute thinking you’d finally come home to be with us to being so depressed she couldn’t even get out of bed the next when she realized you weren’t.” A sob caught in Sophie’s throat. “I don’t understand why you just didn’t divorce her. Let her find someone who could care about us. Why did you have to drive her to … to … suicide?”
Another silence followed, then Miles said quietly, “I couldn’t divorce her. I loved her too much to let her go.”
“More like wanted to control her!”
Miles tightened his chin the way he used to when she was little and she’d disappointed him somehow. “I‘d hoped we could get past this, Sophia. That you’d somehow be able to forgive me. I can see now that isn’t going to happen. Here,” He pulled a legal-sized yellow envelope from his expensive suit pocket. “When you’re ready, read this. Maybe then you’ll understand.” He turned to leave. “I’ll be in town for a few more days. I’d really like to meet my grandson.” His voice caught. “I’m sorry I wasn’t the father you needed. You have no idea how much I regret that. I made a lot of mistakes, and if I could turn back the clock and change it all I would. But I can’t. What’s done is done.” He hobbled to the door then stopped to look at her. “I love you, Sophia. I always have and always will. I loved your mother too. I hope you will realize it one day.” He opened the door and disappeared down the street.
Sophie clutched the envelope, her whole body trembling with emotions she couldn’t even describe. Part of her – the little girl part – wanted desperately to believe he really cared. The other part – the logical grown-up part – wanted to never see him again.
* * *
Max paced the apartment floor. A surge of protectiveness overwhelmed him. He should have gone with Sophie. What if she needed him? He’d seen how upset she had been when she’d learned her father was in New York. Why hadn’t he insisted on being there when she confronted him?
The front door opened and Max breathed a sigh of relief. Then he saw her tear-streaked cheeks and deflated shoulders and the relief turned to anger. Father or not, if the man had hurt her in any way then he’d be answering to him. Another fierce urge to protect her splintered through him. The feeling took him by surprise. He’d never felt this strongly about anyone before in his life. And that scared the hell out of him.
“Are you okay?” Max was beside her in three quick strides.
“I’m fine,” she replied shakily. Max frowned. She didn’t sound fine.
Sophie tossed her purse and an envelope onto the coffee table, took a few steps toward the ugly orange plaid couch and plopped down. Max joined her, the couch creaking beneath his weight.
“What did he want?” Imagining the worst, Max’s throat tightened.
“He wanted me to forgive him.”
“For?” Max relaxed. That didn’t sound so bad. Maybe her father wasn’t the ogre she thought him to be after all. Or maybe he’d mellowed over the years.
“For being a rotten father and an even worse husband to my mother.” Her lips thinned into a straight line. “He wanted to explain why he was absent from our lives as if that would make a difference now.” She leaned back against the couch and blinked to keep the tears shimmering in her green eyes from spilling. “He also wants to meet Alex.”
“Are you going to let him?”
“Do I have a choice? Miles Westbrook
always
gets what he wants. No matter what he has to do to get it.” Sophie let out a disgusted sigh. “It’s your stupid henchmen’s fault. If they hadn’t taken those pictures of us my father would have never found me. I still don’t understand why they’re so fascinated with your every move. It was a trip to the zoo, for Pete’s sake! Not something you could win the Nobel prize for doing.”
Max winced.
Christo!
She certainly knew how to put him in his place. Good thing he was pretty damn confident in himself or else she would have his ego in shreds by now.
Ignoring her unintentional ego-buster, Max chose his words carefully. “Sophie, he’s the only grandparent Alex will ever have. Don’t you think you owe it to them both to give it a chance? Maybe your father has changed.”
She whirled her head toward him, eyes flashing. “Are you taking his side?”
Max shook his head. “There are no sides. There is just a little boy who has bits and pieces of a family and needs everyone to find their place. Take it from someone who grew up without anyone to love them. You don’t want that for Alex.”
“No, I don’t.” Sophie’s voice hitched and her eyes brightened with unshed tears. “But I can’t let my father back into my life.”
“Why not?” Max probed softly. So far the man genuinely seemed to just want reconciliation with his daughter. That wasn’t the worst thing in the world.
Sophie drew a long, shuddering breath. “If I forgive him, then it’s like betraying my mother all over again. I can’t do it. I just can’t.”
Max knitted his brow. “How did you betray your mother?”
“I wasn’t there to stop her from taking her own life.” Sophie’s voice cracked. The pain and self-remorse flashing across her pale face cut him straight to the quick. “I should have seen the signs. I knew how unhappy she was. I should have stayed home that night instead of going out.”
Shocked by her admission, Max sucked in a sharp breath.
Dio!
She thought it was her fault her mother had died. “No one could have known what she was going to do. You can’t possibly believe it was your fault.”
“I should have known. I should have realized something was very wrong. She’d been depressed for days, but I thought she’d bounce back like she usually did.” Head down, she said quietly. “I should have been there.”
Max lifted her chin with his thumb. “Look at me, Sophie.” She did, and the raw anguish in her eyes touched another chord. Another urge to protect her from any more pain jolted through him with the intensity of a thousand suns. “There wasn’t anything you could have done. You may never know the real reason your mother felt she couldn’t go on, but emancipating yourself from the only family you have left isn’t the answer. It won’t bring your mother back.” She opened her mouth to speak, but he gently placed his finger over her lips to stop her. “Maybe it’s time to put the past behind you and give your father another chance. He’s the only one you’ll ever have and the only chance Alex has at having a grandparent.”
“The same way you’ve buried your own past?” Sophie asked quietly.
That stopped him cold. She was right. He was asking her to do the very thing he had never been able to do himself. Let go of the past and embrace the present. How could expect her to do it if he couldn’t? And how could either of them have a future together if they didn’t?
* * *
A week later Sophie finally began to relax. She was sure her father had already flown back to California and out of her life once more. Thankfully, he hadn’t contacted her again. She even managed to push down the little niggle of regret that tried to rear its ugly head when she recalled how thin and weary he’d looked. She was doing the right thing, she assured herself. Her father didn’t deserve a second chance.
Business had picked up and she spent most of her time catering holiday parties. Life had almost resumed some sense of normalcy.
Almost
being the operative word.
It still surprised her to find Max with them each evening and, more often than not, all night. Not that she was complaining. She enjoyed having Max with them. It just took some getting used to. Alex accepted Max without a second thought and was thrilled to have his dad with them every night. He’d even told everyone in his kindergarten class that his father would be at the school Christmas play that evening. At five he was very excited about the prospect and Sophie just prayed Max wouldn’t let him down.
Not that she actually had any reason to think he would, but no matter how hard she tried to trust her new relationship with Max, somewhere in the back of her mind she still expected him to bolt for the nearest exit and make a run for his bachelor pad.
So much seeing the glass half full, Sophie thought as she put the finishing touches on the cake she was decorating for a retirement party. She supposed the visit – and she used that term loosely – with her father last week had stirred up reservations about Max’s true priorities. It wasn’t a fair assessment, she realized, but she couldn’t help it.