Cattle Baron: Nanny Needed (13 page)

Wasn’t she then to be pitied? A miracle was in order here. But sadly miracles didn’t occur all that often in life.

Janis badly needed a fresh start in her own home. Amber knew she would have wanted a home of her own. Eliot couldn’t have it both ways. His wife and child were his top
priorities. Back in the city, Janis might try a lot harder. There was plenty of help readily to hand. Surely she had made female friends over the years, even if she was estranged from her mother?

She wanted to toss up a few ideas with Cal, though she knew she was winging close to danger. She couldn’t, for instance, try him out on,
Janis seems overly attached to you.
She would have to pack her bags, when she had never been happier in her life. Still, she made it her business to stop him one morning when he was almost out of the door. The man seemed to be getting up earlier and earlier and working later. He put in a full day’s hard work and then some.

“Cal, could I have a word with you?” She hurried down the timber staircase.

He swung back, looking so damned glamorous she gulped. “If you make it quick,” he clipped.

She tried to find her voice. He was the very picture of Action Man, a red bandana sweatband style around his head, raven locks curling over the top. The temperatures were climbing as they moved into high summer. The bandana would keep the sweat out of his eyes. It made him look so dashing, so unbelievably sexy, that she was hit by a dizzy spasm and had to rest against the balustrade. Little tremors were running up, down, all over her body. Day by day she was leaving all sense of caution behind. What else could she do? Cal MacFarlane was a revelation!

“Hey, are you okay?” Cal couldn’t suppress the note of worry. This beautiful, never complaining woman, was his guest, yet she was handling everything like a highly paid employee. He was so much in her debt it was beginning to really bother him. Right from the beginning he had seen her in a number of stressful situations. She always acted in a manner he understood and approved. It was getting harder and harder to fault her. He had all but given up trying. What would
he do if she vanished from his life? He wasn’t playing any game. He was certain she wasn’t playing a game, either. The truth was he wanted her to be
always
there, an integral part of his life. Damn it, the
centre
of his life. He was a man living with a secret.

What he hadn’t thought could happen
had
happened.

Too late now, MacFarlane.

She continued on down the stairs, unaware of his thoughts, but hugging close that note of concern. “Sure,’ she answered happily. She knew he and some of the men had already started to bring in the clean skins from the desert fringe in preparation for the big muster. She had heard with horror from Dee of the death of a station hand a few years back. The man had taken a fall from his spooked horse and was crushed to death. Since then Amber had been trying hard to block the image. Trying hard not to think of Cal in some life-threatening situation, even though she knew he confronted them on a daily basis. His well-being was vitally important to her.

“You’d tell me if you weren’t?” Cal’s brows knotted as he stared down at her.

Of a sudden she was feeling strong and ready, as though her energy had fed off his. “Don’t worry, I’m not about to burn out.”

“I
am
worried,” he said. “I want you to get out more. Enjoy yourself. The plan wasn’t to have you stuck in the house.”

“Look, it’s all happening. I have a really good feeling about Marcus. From now on he should start to thrive.”

“You really like him, don’t you?” He smiled, his beautiful eyes full of a mesmerizing glitter.

“Like him? I love him. He’s a dear little fellow. He just had a rough start. Look, I won’t hold you up now, Cal. You’re obviously in a hurry.”

“I’ll give you ten minutes. How will that be?”

“Let’s walk outside.” She started to move to the door.

“Get your hat,” he said in a no-nonsense voice.

“You got it, boss.” She hurried away. When she returned she was wearing a wide-brimmed straw hat atop her hair and tied it at the nape with an inky-blue ribbon to match her tank top.

The need to
head things off at the pass
, so pressing at the beginning, had lost focus. No bigger risk than giving your heart away. He knew that. Even so, Cal surrendered to the magic of having Ms Wyatt around. He reached out a lazy hand and pulled the ribbon from her hair. As expected, it set her magnificent mane free, every conceivable shade of red, copper and gold. “A little bit of provocation, is it?” he asked, pocketing the ribbon, then flipping down the brim she had deliberately turned up all the way round to get his reaction.

“Who said you could pinch my ribbon?”

“Why, do you want it back?”

Oh, that glitter in his eyes! “Keep it. Put it under your pillow. Dream of me.”

“What else can I do, since it seems too darned hard to get you into my bed?”

She looked up sharply, then smiled. “Haven’t we agreed to get to know one another better, Cal? Sleeping with you could be as dangerous as jumping off a cliff.”

“I’m game if you are.”

The sensuality in his voice reeled her in. “Maybe I’ve got more to lose?” she suggested very seriously. “It can be worse for women.”

“Nonsense!” His answer was blunt. “Okay, Amber. For you, I can wait. Maybe you’ll start to want me as much as I want you.”

She stood there with sensation nearly sweeping her off her feet. “Oh, I
want
you all right, but things are moving very fast, don’t you agree?”

“Maybe they
have
to when our time is limited. What happens when they want you back? And they will.”

“Don’t talk about it,” she begged. “I want to stay here for a long, long time.”

“
I
won’t be sending you away,” he said. “Count on it. And don’t dare turn that brim back again.”

She laughed. “I’ve never had a man outside my dear father pay so much attention to protecting my skin.”

He ran a finger down her cheek. “It’s called meaning well. Your skin’s great. Let’s keep it that way.” He was back to the bantering style he adopted when things got intense. Inside, Cal’s nerves were stretched taut. “My mother used to wear big-brimmed straw hats like that,” he said in a faintly melancholy voice. “She was beautiful, too.”

“So when did you first decide you wanted nothing more to do with her?” Amber asked as gently as she could. There was a lot of unresolved feeling here. A mother was forever part of one’s identity.

Instantly his body language radiated warning. “It’s too long ago to remember.”

“Is it?” She stared up at him, suddenly seeing him as a proud and handsome young boy.

“Don’t
do
this, Amber,” he warned, his green eyes aglitter.

She looked away across the garden, the air wavery in the heat. “Thought I’d give it a shot. Deep down I think you feel badly about the whole sorry situation. The trouble is, Cal, if you let your grievances go on too long, they become part of you like a second skin.”

He took a minute to answer. “You know, you were wasted in television. You should have given psychoanalysis a shot.”

“Hey, there’s still time,” she said, trying for breeziness. “All I’m saying is, where there’s a will, there’s a way. I’m like you. I mean well.”

His firm mouth twitched. “Then could I remind you that a couple of wasted minutes have gone past. What’s on your mind?”

She wasn’t such a fool that she didn’t know she had put a
serious dent in his armour. “We’re friends, aren’t we, Cal?” she asked, fixing her gaze on his brooding face. “You’re happy we’re friends? Friendship is important. Maybe more important than sex.”

He laughed, beginning to unwind. “Hell, Amber, I liked you right off. Of course we’re friends. It’s not the
perfect
relationship. Don’t knock sex, but I guess it will have to do.”

“Want to tell me what the perfect relationship
is
?” she asked.

“I’d love to. I will. But it would take time. I don’t have it at the moment. The men will be waiting on me for their orders. I think I can guess your question in one—When are you going to tell Eliot to take a break away with his wife?”

She nodded. “I’m not sure Jingala is the best place for them long-term. Janis might be a whole lot happier if she had a home of her own.”

“Gets my vote,” he answered tautly. “It’s Janis who won’t move away.”

“But she told me otherwise.” She stared at him, puzzled. “She understood they were to live in Melbourne but Eliot brought her here.”

The severity was back. “So when did you have this little chat?”

“Hey, listen, don’t get cranky with me.” She placed a calming hand on his arm.

He stared down at the sight of her creamy skin, a stark contrast to his dark tan. “Amber, the last thing I’d do is vent my wrath on you. You’re a godsend. This has turned into a dilemma in more ways than one. I’d like to put as much distance as I can between Janis and myself, but then I lose the uncle I’ve lived with all my life and love. Plus the fact I also lose out on seeing Marcus grow up.”

“Well, I understand that,” she said with characteristic empathy. “But you’ll have children of your own. Eliot and family would always be welcome. Who knows, they might add to it.”

“For God’s sake!” He reacted with extreme impatience. “I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve heard Jan yelling she hated being pregnant. She swore she’d never allow herself to get pregnant again. I, for one, believe her. And you’re wrong. I don’t care what Jan told you. It was
Jan
who convinced Eliot she wanted to come out to Jingala. You’ve had time to get to know Eliot. You must see he would have done whatever she asked. They were to live in Melbourne, but at some point Jan had a change of heart.”

She fell in love.
A huge mistake on every count.

The wrong kind of love could be a sickness.

“Jan’s spirits might lift if you convinced Eliot to take her away for a holiday,” she bravely soldiered on.

“And I haven’t tried? What the hell keeps her here?” he asked. “She has never shown the slightest interest in the station and station life. She’s not in the least like you. She sees no beauty—gets no pleasure—from her environment. She doesn’t ride and she doesn’t intend to learn. Horses are another one of her hates. So what’s the attraction?”

To her absolute horror, Amber muttered a thoughtful, “Um…”

“You have an answer?’ He fired up.

He really was a high-voltage man. “I do, but I’m not sure I should go with it.”

“Now’s as good a time as any,” he told her with a darkening frown. “Spit it out, Amber.”

“You can’t guess?”

He retorted by putting his hand beneath her chin. Just the barest hint of force. “I’d like you to tell me. You’re the oracle around here.”

“And you don’t like it?’ Just looking up at him made her heart pound.

“On the contrary, I’m obliged to you.” He relented with a smile.

“That’s a relief! But I’m beginning to think telling you might be more than my life’s worth.”

“Can you prove what you think?” The challenge was back.

“Not one hundred and ten per cent, no.”

“Then I’ll take a pass on it until you can. For now, I’m off. Don’t think I’m not grateful to you for all you’ve done, Amber. When I have the time I’m going to buy you the biggest present you’ve ever seen. I will speak to Eliot again. I’ll do it tonight.”

“Insist!”
Amber transmitted her own seriousness. “Your uncle will take notice.”

M
ID-MORNING
a very unexpected thing happened. Brooke Rowlands arrived on Jingala, piloting her own Cessa 310.

How cool was that!

Was it a chance occurrence? Or had she come on a specific mission? Had she despaired of getting an invitation and taken matters into her own hands? One might well wonder. All except Janis. Janis, unbeknown to anyone, had sent Brooke an email telling her, in effect, if she still wanted to land her man she had better get over to Jingala chop-chop.

Even Janis herself didn’t know why she’d done it. She was ill with her own tortured feelings for Cal. Horrified that such a thing had happened to her. She had thought she had her life under control. She had been reasonably content. She never expected to be happy. Happiness was for simpler souls. She regarded herself as a highly intelligent, complex woman, wound tight, much like the heroines of fiction. She had met and married a distinguished man. Rich, of course. She wouldn’t have looked sideways at anyone with less than fifty million dollars. Hardly worth the effort. But the MacFarlane family wealth combined came in at over a billion. She had checked it out. The old man, Cal’s grandfather Clive Erskine, had at least six billion, not that she had any chance of getting her hands on that. The MacFarlanes had a fine family name.
Another big plus. They were one of the biggest landowners in the country, with a massive four million hectares spread over a dozen properties right across the State of Queensland. So marriage had come at a time when she’d doubted she would give herself to anyone at all. After all, she had the brains to make her own way in life.

Never for a moment had she anticipated what would happen to her. It had come like a lightning bolt, flattening her in the process. A monumental strike!

She didn’t love her husband. Love hadn’t come into it. It had seemed like a great career move at the time. She wanted to be pampered. She wanted to be rich. She wanted to establish herself in society. It wasn’t as though she could actually say that she had ever loved anyone. She had thought herself incapable of it and wasn’t by any means desperate about it. Some people were natural born loners.

Until she’d laid eyes on Cal MacFarlane.

Cal, her husband’s nephew, with his enormous charisma and those glittering green eyes!

It was lunacy. But for a while it was glorious! To
feel
as she did! It was so extravagant, so real that she didn’t have a single moment of remorse, or shame, much less guilt. She was always on the verge of telling him. Later she would spend endless time thanking God she hadn’t. The humiliation would have crushed her. But back then! Finally, at the age of thirty-four, she had fallen in love. She was human after all. She would never think of herself as a loner ever again. Only it was her cruel fate to learn the hard way that it was all a terrible mistake—a mistake made all the more bitter because, from the very day of her wedding, Cal had kept his distance. Restraint she had expected, the situation being what it was. But the searing truth, impossible at first to grasp, was that he didn’t
like
her, much less desire her. She had divined that once the haze had started to clear. It had come as a tremendous shock.

How could such a thing happen? She had thought the powerful attraction just
had
to be mutual. But Cal gave her a wide berth. He loved his uncle. They had a great relationship, when she had never had a significant relationship in her life. Her top businesswoman mother, by and large, had ignored her most of the time she was growing up. Having a child didn’t sit comfortably with her career-oriented mother. These days, burdened with her own extremely difficult, demanding child, she had more empathy for her mother. Having Marcus didn’t sit comfortably with her, either. Neither woman was the nurturing kind. So mother and daughter shared a trait. Where was this mystical, magical bond she was supposed to experience with her child? Maybe she might have felt it had she and
Cal
created Marcus together. But Cal had no sexual interest in her. She could taste the steely humiliation in her mouth.

It was that interfering, sickeningly capable fire-head, Amber Wyatt, who had somehow established a strong connection with Marcus, who had definitely taken Cal’s fancy. So desperately in love with him herself—how did one go about killing love?—she could easily read the signs. It disturbed her terribly that Amber Wyatt might succeed where she had failed. By necessity, she had to let Ms Wyatt organise the baby’s needs, but no way was she going to stand by and allow such a woman to convince Cal she was just the kind of woman—the kind of
wife
—he needed. For some reason she didn’t fully understand, she didn’t feel threatened by the idea of Brooke Rowlands coming back into Cal’s life. If Brooke could hang in there and Cal eventually married her she would know his heart wasn’t in it. It would be an arrangement like hers with Eliot.

She could live with that.

Amber was on her way back from the stables after her routine morning ride when Dee appeared on the pathway. She had her arms extended frantically, as if trying to block a runaway horse.

“Everything okay?” Instantly Amber was beset by panic. When she had left the house Marcus was perfectly fine. Had something happened?

“The baby’s fine,” Dee cried, knowing how important little Marcus’s well-being had become to Amber. “It’s somethin’ else. Did ya happen to notice a plane comin’ in?”

“Sure.” She hadn’t taken a lot of notice. Even during her short stay, light aircraft had been flying in and out of the station. Freight, supplies, the vet et cetera.

Dee reached her, grasping her arm. “Listen, love,” she panted, “you’ll have to go back and warn Cal. He won’t be at all happy about this.’

“About what, Dee?” Amber was confused.

“About Brooke showin’ up.” Dee looked less than delighted. “She’s on her way up to the house.”

That earned Amber’s full attention. Cal’s ex-fiancée had come calling? The woman he had most certainly slept with. It was highly unlikely they hadn’t consummated their relationship. “What does she want?” She could hear the anxious note in her voice, but Dee didn’t appear to notice.

“Why, to try again, girl,” she said, heaving a deep breath. “She’ll
never
give up, on the principle that Cal won’t be able to hold out. ’Course she always comes with an excuse. An invitation to some ‘do’ or other. Some books or CDs she thinks the family might like. Random check on Janis and the baby. Any excuse will do. We can’t talk now. You’ll have to find Cal. He’s at the Four Mile. Well, get goin’, love!” Dee urged Amber on with a stout tap on the shoulder.

This time she took a fresh horse, the handsome coal-black gelding, Horatio, her first choice. Cal had convinced her to get her bearings first, as well as ride her way back into form before she took on the big gelding. Today she was ready. The morning’s ride, always in the company of winged formations
of birds, had been delightful. Star Belle was the smoothest mover. Now that she had got used to Amber up on her back they made a fine pair, horse and rider. She had promised Cal she would stick to a certain radius and, mindful of possible dangers, she had obeyed him implicitly. Eagerly she waited for the time when he would join her for a long ride. He had promised her he would, but she knew how things were revving up on the station.

Up on Horatio’s back, she felt a tiny twinge of nerves. This was another animal altogether, much bigger, with longer, stronger legs. She bent low over the gelding’s ebony neck, keeping her voice down to a calm, low pitch to reassure the animal of her presence. “All’s well, boy. All’s well. Just do your best for me.”

Out in the grasslands without mishap, she soon discovered this was a horse that was all fluid power. No wonder Horatio had dazzled in his heyday. Obviously the horse was demonstrating his willingness to trust her. She felt over time they could build up quite a rapport. If she kept heading north-west, following the line of coolibah over-hung billabongs, she would come on the Four Mile where the cows and calves were being herded. It was even possible she might be invited to join in damper and billy tea. She had met most of the men by now. Most of them were very shy around women, which didn’t stop them ogling Amber, but very discreetly. What was she going to say to Cal?
Boy, are you in trouble or not! Your girlfriend’s here.

What if he answered,
Great!

This had been a time of intense excitement but also great uncertainty for her. A testing time. She thought of it as going on a journey. She thought Cal was going along with her. Could she be proved wrong? She’d have to make a point of asking Dee just how often in recent times Brooke Rowlands had come calling. Although Janis had made it her business to
tell her that Cal and Brooke had slept together on her last stay, she wasn’t at all persuaded. Maybe she couldn’t
bear
to be persuaded. There was a good deal more to learn about Cal. He was one complex man and his mistrust of women was in-grained. His mother leaving at a critical stage of his development had kick-started that condition. His fiancée betraying him with, of all people, a friend had entrenched it. Women weren’t to be trusted. Or forgiven. Men weren’t to be trusted either. Not a woman alive would dispute that.

Amber reviewed the developing situation with some trepidation. Brooke could still pose a threat. Life could be astonishingly uncertain. Cal had become engaged hoping for happiness, after all. But no one could take happiness as an absolute certainty. There were always risks. Always unanswered questions. Maybe Brooke’s visit would clear up all those vital points?

Approaching the Four Mile she reined the big gelding in. “We’ve made it, my friend!” There was elation in that.

She rode quietly into camp. There was a whole lot of ribaldry passing to and fro among the stockmen but, when they sighted her, silence fell like a blanket.

“The boss here?” she called to the seemingly stunned group. She might well have been an apparition.

Instantly there was rectitude. The head stockman was the first to respond. He touched a respectful hand to his battered hat. “Go get him, miss.” He strode off in one direction, but Cal confounded them all by appearing from another, cool eyes flashing.

“Say it isn’t so!” He indicated for her to take her feet out of the stirrups before sweeping her out of the saddle. “That’s not Horatio?”

They were standing so close. His arm had slid around her waist, bringing their hips together. His polished skin gleamed
gold with sweat. She could feel beads of moisture start trickling between her breasts. Their relationship was more than ripe for sex. But, once they took that step, both of them would be altering their worlds. Fate had led her on this fantastic journey. In the process it had showed her her true nature. She was a passionate woman—passionately in love. It had never been remotely like this with Sean. Sean’s betrayal had actually done her an enormous favour. It had opened a new door on life. A life she was rapidly coming to hope was full of promise.

“Horatio it is!” She spoke breezily when her blood was sizzling. “I thought I’d give it a shot. Actually, we went very well together.”

“You know what they say? Pride comes before a fall.” He looked back over his shoulder. “Take Horatio, would you, Toby.”

“Sure, boss.” Toby came on the double to collect the gelding.

Cal led her into the shade. “Did you expect me to be impressed?” There wasn’t the most approving note in his voice.

“No need to get testy.” She glanced up at his handsome high-cheekboned face, shadowed by the brim of his hat. His light eyes were such a shock. “I took my usual ride on Star Belle in accordance with your wishes, Mr MacFarlane, but returning to the house I met up with Dee with a message to pass on. I needed a fresh horse, okay? No worries, anyway. Horatio and I are pals.”

“You could have had trouble controlling him,” he said, wanting to grab hold of her and keep her safe. “Horatio doesn’t take to everybody.” That was the sorry truth.

“Is that so? Well, I have to tell you it was love at first sight. Ever happen to you?” She stared challengingly into his cool green eyes.

“It has, up until recently, been a point of pride with me to keep a level head, Ms Wyatt. But, if such a thing happens, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Can I count on it?” There was a betraying wobble in her voice.

“I’ve said so, haven’t I?”

“Right.” She dipped her head before her rioting feelings became too obvious. “Do you want to hear the message or not?”

He gave a laugh, half maddened, half amused. “Amber, that was the Rowlands Cessna that flew in. Do you really think I don’t know what’s happening over my own land? Who is it—Peter and Brooke, or Brooke on her own?”

She mustered a smile. “I’m delighted to tell you it’s Brooke on her own. It’s a wonder you didn’t
feel
it.” She lightly tapped her breast. “You know, here in the heart.”

“That’s it, fire away.” He brought up his hand, passing it over his eyes. “Could you do yet another thing for me? Go back to the homestead and tell Brooke I’ll be away for a few days.”

“You speak in jest, sir?” His face was so perfectly straight.

“Hell, I half mean it,” he groaned.

“So where would you be if you decided to chicken out?”

“Fair question.” He reached out and yanked her thick copper plait.

“Gone bush?” she suggested. “I suppose, if you wanted, you’d have a chance of pulling that off. Unless you really want to see her. Do you?” She spoke lightly but her expression was alert.

“You’re kidding. I’m
dying
to see her.”

Her heart lunged. “I thought you’d moved on?”

“Me?” He leaned in very close. “For such a beautiful, intelligent, perceptive woman you’re mighty unsure of yourself.”

“Put it another way. My emotions are fragile. So just don’t go treading on them.”