Caught in the Flames (11 page)

“They really are. Using love as a pet name is manipulative bullshit. It’s a play on a woman’s emotions without having to give the full commitment of love. It’s basically the same as me saying I love sangria. It doesn’t mean I’m gonna marry it.”

“Speak for yourself,” Alicia says, and murmurs, “I still love you, baby,” to her full beverage, earning laughter from Jill and myself.

“Yeah. I guess you’re sort of right. Only, in that moment, the way he said it, it felt like so much more.”

“Well, I don’t like it. I’m bumping him to suspect level,” Jill says.

“What’s that, again?” Alicia downs her glass. Damn, the woman can drink. I scoot my still full cup in front of her and she grins.

“It’s like probation. He hasn’t passed the friend approval process. He’s still being evaluated,” Jill explains. Chase already meets my approval. After last night and this morning, it’s difficult to not declare my love and shout it from the rooftops, but I like that my girls care so much about me. They look out and are supportive at the same time. If the situation was reversed I’d undoubtedly feel the same.

“How can we bump him to approved? Because I really like him.” I grin.

“We know you do.” Alicia pats my arm with a wide smile on her face.

Jill scrunches her nose. “It goes without saying that we all must hang out.”

“Yes, and he must bring at least two single fire friends.” Alicia claps.

“That shouldn’t be too hard to arrange. What else?”

“Hmm . . . Tell us about him. Is there anything he does or says that worries you? Anything that strange or unusual?”

Ugh
. I don’t really want to go there, but there is something that’s had me slightly unsettled. “Well . . .”

“What?” Jill leans forward.

“Just tell us.” Alicia rolls her eyes.

“It’s probably nothing. It’s just that we’ve been dating for almost a month now and—” I glance down at my glass and pick at the newsprint coaster.

“Spit it out, Callie. We won’t judge you. We already know you obsess over small stuff.” Alicia laughs and I stick my tongue out at her. She’s right, though.

“Do you think it’s strange he hasn’t asked me over to his place yet?” At their blank stares I amend, “Never mind. That’s stupid. Forget I said that.”

“No. That’s weird.” Jill’s eyes narrow into a scowl. “Do you even know where he lives?”

Alicia just chews on her lip between sips of sangria and studies my face.

“Sure, I know where he lives.” I cough to clear my throat. “In an apartment complex in Fairmount.”

“Do you know which one?” Alicia pats my hand to offer comfort and sympathy but it riles me up. I shouldn’t have to defend Chase to them. He’s not a bad guy.

“I can’t remember. I’m sure he told me. And it’s completely acceptable that we haven’t been to his place. He has a roommate and it’s not even close.”

Jill nods reassuringly. “Yeah. I’m sure that’s it. Besides, you’ve only had like what, six dates now?”

“Nine.”

“Nine. That’s not that many. I’m sure it’s more convenient to go to your place since it’s so close to his work,” Jill adds.

“And he’s taken me out to dinner,” I add to validate his boyfriend worthiness.

“Yeah,” Alicia joins in. “Jill’s right. You’re right. Besides, you just started sleeping together. I’m sure now you’ll see him even more and he’ll beg you to stop by his apartment.”

“I’m sure,” Jill agrees, but it’s the way she says it that leaves me with a seed of doubt. Why hasn’t he invited me to his place? All this time I hadn’t analyzed it but now it seems strange. That, and I’ve never met his roommate. What if Chase is hiding something? What if he’s a complete slob or someone who doesn’t organize his flatware?

“Wait,” Jill deadpans. “You’re not worried about how unorganized he is? Or if he doesn’t follow proper laundry protocol?”

“No!” I exclaim too loudly. God, I hadn’t even considered he might not separate his whites from his colors. “Okay, yes, maybe. God, I’m fucked up. I should’ve checked these things before we did the nasty.”

We all burst into a fit of giggles and Alicia orders another round.

“He put his face in your cooch with gusto and you’re more concerned about the possibility he leaves dirty dishes overnight in his sink. That
is
a little fucked up.”

The rest of my night I combat jabs to my OCD tendencies and laugh harder than I have in weeks. Though I wouldn’t have picked a night out with Jill and Alicia over one in bed with Chase, I’m glad the decision was pushed upon me. Time with my girls is a need I don’t realize until it’s already met. God, I love these two.

I love Chase.

I do. And I know it’s too soon to say the words but they almost slip from my mouth when he jogs outside the station to meet me at my Jeep. By some miracle I don’t let the phrase tumble from my mouth and instead offer him a smile that hurts my face.

On the way over I stopped at the corner deli and picked up an assortment of sandwiches. We’ve shared so much together, yet I don’t even know his favorite things. And that changes today. I’m prepared to go all Barbara Walters if need be during this lunch date.

“Sorry I’m running late! I lost track of time at Kiki’s this morning.” I pull the bag from the cab and he steals a kiss that’s over too soon.

“The old lady on Bentley Street?” he asks, and we walk toward the building. He turns us and we detour to a picnic blanket that’s already laid out in the side lawn.
Oh, smooth move
. He’s romantic, this boyfriend of mine.

“Yeah. She’s amazing. The things she’s done and seen. She tells the best stories. Like seriously, when I grow old I want to be just like her. Did you know she had tea with the Dalai Lama? And almost ran over Michael Jordan with her car in the late 90’s? Can you believe that?”

“Hmm.” He shrugs and starts unwrapping the food. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t believe everything she says.”

“I wasn’t sure what you liked so I got a little of everything.” He smiles and bites into the roast beef. I take the ham and cheese. “Why do you say that about Kiki?”

He peers at me over fistfuls of bread and meat. “She’s kind of eccentric. Maybe she makes things up.”

I shrug. “Just because she’s a little unique doesn’t exactly make her a liar. Do you know much about her? She said she’s lived in that house thirty-nine years. And I know she was married, but she doesn’t have children. I feel there’s more to that story but I don’t want to pry and she hasn’t offered.”

“I was on call the day her husband collapsed,” he offers between bites, his jaw hard and eyes focused over my shoulder. I glance behind me but find nothing other than the mostly empty parking lot.

“What? When was this?” I put my food down, my appetite fades at the news.

“Had to be at least six years ago, if not more. It was before I had my medic certification.”

“What happened to him?”

Chase pops the last bite of sandwich in his mouth and chews, his eyes closed for a moment. I wait, but I already know what he says next won’t be good.

“Heart attack. Made it to the hospital but he died the next day.”

“Oh, God, that’s horrible. Poor Kiki.”

“I guess. She was pretty torn up. Inconsolable if I remember correctly.”

“Of course she would be. I would be, too! The love of her life, gone in an instant. That’s so sad.”

“It wasn’t just that, though.” Chase’s voice is rough and I meet his gaze. He blinks a few times. “I can’t remember exactly, but there was some big blowup between her and one of the neighbors. Shit. Maybe that was someone else. I’m sorry, Callie, I can’t remember.”

“That’s okay. I’m sure you can’t remember every call you’ve been on.”

“No, but there’re some I’ll never forget.”

“Oh, like what?” I ask, and his gaze softens as he brushes one of my stray curls from my face.

“Well, there was this time I found a gorgeous brunette at the Target checkout line . . .”

“Oh? She sounds lovely.” I grin and Chase scoots closer on the blanket. He pushes the uneaten food out of his way. I do him one better and crawl into his lap. I leave a trail of kisses from his neck to the stubble of his jaw line, and land at his ear. I lay my head on his shoulder and he wraps his strong arms around my waist. I love the way the rough callouses of his fingertips feel as he smooths them up and down my arms.

“I don’t know. She sort of has a thing for spending time with old ladies, which most people would find weird. But I think that’s just her kind heart.”

“I love you.”
Fuck
. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. His hands still for a heartbeat. I wish I could take the words back, suck them inside and pretend he never heard them.
Shit
. What do I do? I won’t take them back because they’re true. His fingers resume their path up and down my arms and he hugs me to him a little tighter, leaving a kiss at my temple.

“Callie.” His voice is rough, and though I can’t see his eyes I wonder if they’re full of the emotion I feel for him. “I have to get back to work. Thanks for bringing lunch.”

I blow out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Okay. So we’re ignoring my declaration. I can deal with that. For now. I scoot out of his embrace and gather the extra sandwiches back into the bag. He collects the trash and jogs over to a waste basket to dispose of it.

Chase walks back with a lazy grin on his handsome face. “Let me walk you to your car.” He holds his hand out and I lace my fingers through his with a smile. God, I love him even more for not making this uncomfortable or awkward. He holds my hand until I’m in my seat and buckled up to leave, but doesn’t let me shut my door. Instead, he crowds the opening and leans in close.

“Kiss me, Callie.” And I do.

We make out for a solid five minutes before he finally pulls his hands off my body. I regrettably loosen my fingers from their hold at his shirt. He laughs, noticing the marks they’ve left from gripping the fabric.

“Come over tomorrow?” I lick and pout my lips.

“I’ll text you. Depends on how crazy the rest of the day goes.”

It’s then I notice the deep circles under his eyes. “You had a long night.”

“Yeah, but worth it to see your beautiful face.” He grins and shuts my door.

As I pull out of the lot and maneuver the short drive to my house Chase’s words stay with me, wrap around me, and cause the smile on my face to never waiver the rest of the day. Yes, I love that man. And I should have waited to say it, but I’m sort of happy I didn’t. And that it didn’t seem to freak him out, well, that makes me wonder if he feels the same way.

I love parties.

From the small informal get together to the frat house kegger, I love a good night out with friends. Maybe it’s because I love to laugh, and a party—a good one anyway—guarantees laughter aplenty.

So, when I stop by the firehouse the next week to meet Chase for an early dinner and Lopez asks me, “Hey Callie, you coming to the party at Troy’s tomorrow night?” and I’ve heard nothing of said party—and I catch Chase’s eyes glaring down Lopez as if he asked me to light myself on fire—well, I get a little miffed at my boyfriend. Okay, more than miffed.

“So, that’s why we’re not hanging out tomorrow?” I try, I really do, to keep the hurt from my voice but I’m unsuccessful. Lopez slinks from the break room, excusing himself to perform a bogus equipment check.

“Look. I didn’t tell you about the party because I didn’t think you’d want to go. It’s just a bunch of guys from the stations getting together to watch the fights and drink beer. Nothing to get upset about. Relax.”

“Relax!” Okay, so not relaxed right now. “Who all will be there?”

Chase chants a list of names. Some I know, some I don’t. When he gets to over a dozen I stop him, holding out my hand and closing my eyes. Exhale. Deep breath.

“Let me rephrase that. Will any women be there?” The words leave a bitter taste in my mouth and I feel tears gather in my eyes.

“I don’t know. Probably. Jeez, Callie, calm down. You’re acting as if I did something wrong. I honestly didn’t think you’d have any fun. That’s why I didn’t say anything. It’s just a casual get together. If you want to come, come.”

“You don’t have to invite me because you feel bad about not.”
I want you to invite me because you want me by your side.