Caught (Men of the Show Book 3) (17 page)

Her father was right, though. She’d put too much in, given too much up to get to where she was today only to risk her success by making foolish decisions with her heart rather than her head. Sacrifices. She’d told herself more than enough times to understand they had to be made…whether she liked them or not and regardless of fairness.

“It’s simply a quick break, and he’s just a friend,” she said. “I’m keeping up with work and I’ll be back after Christmas. I needed to see the sun, that’s all.”

“I don’t need to tell you—” he started, but she cut him off, growing tired of his lectures.

“No you don’t. I told you, everything is fine. I have it under control. Once I get back to Chicago, it will be like I never left.”

“Fine, but please remember a lot of eyes are on you and they know when you are not around. Questions asked, comments made. You don’t want to give them anything to use against you. You can’t afford to screw this up over a trivial affair.”

Shannon glanced back over her shoulder, but the seat stood empty as Matt had retreated into the house along with Buddy, leaving her alone outside. Trivial?
 
Trivial
did not describe her feelings for Matt, never mind the fact she could be pregnant, which definitely wasn’t inconsequential, but she couldn’t tell her father that. Her admission would lead to more lectures about things he didn’t understand nor did he care. He certainly wouldn’t accept it, so trying to gain as much from him would be a pointless and upsetting exercise. He only cared about one thing—her success as a lawyer.

Nevertheless, she reminded herself—her father’s voice now added to the mix— Arizona and a life with Matt wasn’t her reality. She couldn’t fall into the trap of questioning whether she actually wanted to return to Chicago, as she’d started to. Of course she did. Chicago was where her life was, where her job was; the job she’d worked her butt off in order get through school with a high GPA as well as editor on Law Review so she’d be attractive to such a competitive firm, regardless of her dad’s pulls. To think she’d never be resentful if she gave it all up was irrational and foolish.

The longer she stayed in Arizona, the harder it would be to leave, which meant she had to return as soon as she could. She’d originally planned to stay until after the New Year, but now new plans had to be made. The more she put her departure off, the higher chance she could talk herself out of it and put her job at further risk, which was unacceptable.

Telling Matt was going to be hard, probably the hardest things she’d ever had to do; she wasn’t naïve enough to believe it would be easy. Even now, she still wavered, wanting to give in and convince herself there was a way to make it work, that they could figure out something without anyone having to give up anything, but it was false hope. Staying would only prolong the eventual pain. As hard as it was going to be, she was going to have to put it all behind her and pretend she hadn’t fallen in love with him.

*
 
*
 
*

Christmas night, Matt and Shannon were hosting his family for dinner. Matt had told Shannon not to worry about trying to get anything together, promising the responsibility of preparing the meal was all his. She only needed to focus on work and be ready when everyone showed up. She appreciated the gesture and started to take advantage of the opportunity, but found she couldn’t concentrate on anything. Guilt washed over her every time Matt banged something around in the kitchen as she imagined him struggling to boil water.

Getting up, she walked out of the office toward the noise, patting Buddy on the head when he stood to follow her. The scents drifting from the kitchen smelled amazing and her mouth started to water. Shannon stopped right inside the doorway, the scene before her quickly dispelling any notion cooking was foreign to Matt. He stood in front of the island chopping up onions with a dishtowel over one shoulder and the sleeves of his navy button-down shirt rolled up to his elbows, revealing his thick forearms and the heavy platinum watch circling his left wrist. On the stove, water churned and bubbled while peeled potatoes waited next to the pot to be submerged. A dish of breadcrumbs stood next to the cutting board along with some celery and mushrooms.

“Wow!
 
Look at you,” she exclaimed. “I had no idea.”

Matt gave her his winning smile as he continued to chop. “I can’t let out all of my secrets now, can I?”

Can’t there be
one
thing unappealing about you
. He was not making things easy.

“Seriously,” she said as she sat on one of the stools lining the opposite side of the island. “You’d give Karen a run for her money. I must have missed this while I was at work on Thanksgiving.”

“I doubt it since Karen is a trained professional,” he said as he deftly transferred the now chopped onions to the same dish as the breadcrumbs before pulling a couple stalks of celery onto the cutting board. “I enjoy cooking though. It relaxes me.”

“I can’t think of anything more stressful,” Shannon said with a laugh. “But what can I do to help?”

He eyed her as she moved over to the sink to wash her hands. “You done with work?”

“I’ll never be done with work, but the brief can wait. I should be in here helping you and so that’s what I’m doing.”

“I’ve got everything covered, Shannon. It’s all right.”

“Nope, you’re not getting rid of me.”
 
She planted herself next to him and hit the counter with her palm. “Now give me something to do.”

His blue eyes studied her for a moment before he leaned down to place a soft kiss on her lips. “Thank you,” he said quietly.

She smiled back at him, forcing herself to ignore the roll her heart wanted to do in her chest, and maintain neutrality since everything was going to change very shortly, and not for the better. “You’re welcome. Just don’t yell at me when I burn something.”

Matt pulled out a cutting board. Turning around, he grabbed a knife from the wood block on the counter behind them and handed the blade to her handle first. “Then we’ll give you something you can’t burn. Chop up these mushrooms, please.”

“I think I can handle that.”
 
She took one from the bowl and placed it on the board.

They worked in companionable silence and Shannon tried to ignore how comfortable and right being with Matt felt. Her decision was made and she’d even purchased an airline ticket for the next day, but doubt still lingered and niggled at her. She had to ignore it and stay focused on her dreams.

All that remained was getting through the dinner with his family and then somehow telling Matt.

*
 
*
 
*

Sitting at the head spot at dinner, a sense of peace fell over Matt. Everyone important to him sat in his house, around his dining room table, which was all he ever wanted. His parents, his sister, his best bud, Jason, and now the woman who fit perfectly into the mix. He didn’t like others helping in his kitchen as he had his own rhythm and methods, but he’d appreciated Shannon’s help, especially since she had so much on her plate that she was willing to put it aside, and he liked how they had worked easily around each other. Granted, she wasn’t anything to write home about as far as cooking, but she chopped and stirred just as well any anybody else.

Matt took a sip of his wine, relaxed back in his chair, and let all the noise wash over him. Buddy inched over when Matt shifted, waiting patiently for Matt to pet him. Matt couldn’t resist, as always, and rubbed his head, even though his mother hated to have Buddy so close to the table especially with food around. Everything was perfect.
 

Following a lull in the conversation, Shannon started to gather the dishes and then held out her hands when his mother did the same.

“Oh, no, Lisa. Please, sit and relax. Matt and I have this. You are our guests.”

All eyes turned to Matt and he grinned. “I guess that’s my cue to get off my ass.”

“I want to help,” his mother insisted as she reached out for a plate, but Matt grabbed it before she could.

“You heard Shannon, Mom, and you don’t want to get her mad at you,” he teased as he kissed her forehead. “Go into the other room and relax. We’ll only be a second and then we’ll open gifts.”

Matt shooed them all from the dining room into the family room before following Shannon into the kitchen where she’d already started to load the dishwasher. He stacked the dishes on the counter and stood behind her, shifting her long hair to the side to expose the slender column of her neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and for one instant she tensed before she relaxed. Assuming he’d misread her reaction, he placed a kiss just under her hairline.
 

She glanced at him over her shoulder and smiled. “What was that for?”

He shrugged as he leaned in and his lips bussed her nose. “Do I need a reason?
 
How about just you being you.”
 
Stepping beside her, he took a dish from her and loaded it in the dishwasher, and soon they had a flow going. “Thanks for helping out.”

“Of course,” Shannon said. “I may not be able to cook, but I can clean with the best of them. It’s the least I could do.”

“I think we work pretty well together,” he said and this time her flinch was obvious. “Something wrong?”

“Nothing. Why do you ask?” she asked with a frown, keeping her attention solely on her task.

“I don’t know,” he said as he placed a plate in the lower rack. “You seem tense or something.”

“No,” Shannon said before finally turning toward him. She smiled, but the light didn’t reach her eyes. “No, everything’s fine.”

“You thinking about your family?”
 
He’d wondered if being with his on Christmas made her miss hers, but she hadn’t said anything.

She shrugged as she turned back to the sink. “I don’t know. I guess it is sort of weird. I talked with them this morning, though…”
 
She broke off.

“Were they upset you weren’t there?”

She sighed and turned off the water. “Karen and my mom were. My dad’s still annoyed I’m not at work. Same conversation as the other day.”

What is with that guy?
 
Her father seemed insistent she work herself to death. Why he pushed Shannon the way he did didn’t make sense to Matt, but he kept his opinions to himself since Shannon obviously cared about her father’s view on things. She’d proven as much when she’d taken his phone call right when Matt had been about to divulge his true feelings for her.
 

“Well, hopefully you assured him you’re still getting a lot done while you’re here,” he said. “I wouldn’t want him to think I’m letting you slack or anything.”

Shannon laughed as she shook her head. “I told him I’m working. Who knows?
 
He gets uptight about stuff sometimes. He knows how hard I’ve worked for all this and he only wants what’s best for me. It’s fine. I’m fine,” she said as she squeezed his hands. “We should get back to the rest of them.”

She walked past him out of the kitchen and Matt leaned against the counter as she disappeared around the corner. She worried about work constantly and once she returned to Chicago he didn’t doubt she would submerge herself again. If she did that, who cares if he could travel wherever, whenever. They would never see each other and he had no idea what she thought about that. She didn’t appear to want to make any changes in her life, which pretty much sucked.

Stepping in the living room where the tree had been set up in the corner, he leaned against the doorframe. The scene in front of him was one he’d wanted for a long time, minus a couple of kids, but that still seemed out of his reach, unfortunately. This life wasn’t what Shannon had in mind for herself and she didn’t seem to be able, or want, to deviate. Sure, she’d agreed to come down here and spend time with him, but nothing she’d done or said had given him any confidence in her desire to try past this little trip. He didn’t doubt her attraction to him, no question the sex between them was amazing, and she might even care for him, but in the list of her priorities, he wasn’t anywhere near the top, and he’d just about run out of ways to try to at least get in sight of the top runners.
 
He hated to give up, in fact almost never did, but a guy could only put himself out there so many times before his self-esteem started to take a beating.

“Sweetie, come sit down,” his mother said as she grinned up at him from where she sat, beckoning him into the room.

Matt smiled, trying to push aside the melancholy bringing him down. Right now, everything was perfect and would have to be good enough. He would deal with the rough stuff when he needed to, but now he wanted to enjoy the moment.

He sat on the loveseat next to Shannon and gave her a small smile as he squeezed her knee. “Who’s first?” Matt asked the room.

Everyone went at once, wrapping paper ripped off the gifts and strewn around. Buddy even had his own gift to unwrap, and everyone laughed as he bit into the paper and pulled off as much as he could, desperately trying to get down to the hard chew toy inside. Shannon opened the gifts his family had given her—an oversized coffee table book filled with pictures of Arizona from his parents, for which she thanked them profusely, and a simple black sweater from Caitlyn. When another gift landed in her lap and she read his name on the tag, she glanced at him. Matt didn’t miss the wariness, which cut at him because he didn’t understand what was behind it, but he gave her an encouraging smile, prodding her to open the small box. She let out an almost audible sigh of relief when she spotted the scarf inside. He’d picked the silky accessory because the vibrant cobalt-blue fabric matched perfectly with the color of her eyes.