‘No,
you
misled
me
!’ He faced me, gesticulating with his glass, spilling whisky. I wondered how much he’d already drunk. ‘D’you have any idea how hard it was to send you packing? How much it
grieved
me to have to lie? But I believed it was the right thing to do. I still do. Though apparently I could have spared myself the guilt of thinking I’d hurt you. You didn’t waste any time, did you? And I suppose arriving with your new man in tow was a neat form of revenge.’
I stared at him, open-mouthed, overwhelmed by sudden
, joyous comprehension. ‘Oh my god… You think Rupert— For heaven’s sake, Alec, Rupert isn’t my new man, he’s my very
old
man! We broke up years ago. He’s just a friend now.’
‘So why did Zelda put you in the same room?’
‘She didn’t.’
‘But I saw you
. You were both standing in the room. He had his arm around…’ I watched his expression change from belligerence to embarrassment as realisation slowly dawned. ‘I got that wrong?’
‘Y
ou couldn’t be more wrong. I was feeling a bit upset and Rupert – well, he’s almost like a brother to me now. There hasn’t been anything sexual between us for years. Zelda put him up on the third floor. He’d just dropped in when you saw us. You really have got hold of the wrong end of the stick.’
‘I see
… It seems I’ve been a prize eejit.’ He swallowed some more whisky. ‘Not that your love life is any of my business anyway.’
‘
No, wait a minute, the fact that you jumped to conclusions and say you had to
lie
to me… Well, that rather changes things, doesn’t it?’ He looked at me, but said nothing. ‘I’d really appreciate your being straight with me, Alec, even if I’m only here for a couple of days. You can kick me out of the armoury, throw me out of Cauldstane, but I think you owe it to me to tell me what you really feel. If we can have no future, couldn’t we at least have an honest ending?’
‘Tha
t wouldn’t be fair to you.’
‘
I’ll be the judge of that. The truth, please. I told you I loved you before I left. My feelings haven’t changed. And I’m mortified you thought I was the kind of woman who’d offer to take on a psychotic ghost, then seek consolation elsewhere when spurned.’
‘Aye,
I should have known…
Steel-true and blade-straight.
’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘It’s from a poem by Robert Louis Stevenson. About his wife.’
‘Oh…
What was it again?
Steel-true
?’
‘
And blade-straight
.’
‘Well, yes,’ I said, considering. ‘I think that’s probably fair comme
nt. Honesty and loyalty
are
important to me. Very important. Honesty was what made me break up with Rupert. And loyalty is why we’re still good friends.’ I cast an eye towards the sofa where my bag sat like an elephant in the room. ‘And it’s honesty that’s brought me back to Cauldstane, Alec. There’s something important you need to know.’
He
shook his head and set down his glass. ‘Och, let’s have no more words, Jenny. I know that’s your stock in trade, but it’s not mine.’ He gave me a long look and said, ‘Will you not let me take you in my arms and let my body do the talking?’
I gaz
ed at him, trying to process the meaning of what I’d just heard and the journal was forgotten. ‘I’d like that very much. In fact, you have no idea how much time I’ve spent thinking about that very thing.’
He
moved towards me and slid an arm around my waist, then he pulled me to him and kissed me, cradling my head in one of his hands. When I came up for air, I started to struggle out of my coat. Alec dragged it off me and slung it on to the sofa. When he turned back, I took his face in both hands and pulled his head down towards me, so I could kiss him again. Then he broke away and strode over to the door, where he slid the bolt and turned out the dim overhead light.
My eyes followed every movement of his
body as it wove in and out of the shadows of the room, lit now by a little moonlight that entered through a grubby window pane. Alec moved back to the furnace and raked some coals so the fire revived, radiating more light and heat into the room. Having made a circuit of the room, he stood in front of me again, his eyes wide and dark, his face expectant. He looked at me, pleading, and I knew what he was asking. I laid a hand on his chest and nodded.
H
is expression changed suddenly. Frowning, he clasped my hand where it lay on his chest. ‘I’m afraid I don’t have anything. And I don’t intend to produce a MacNab heir on the wrong side of the blanket. You wouldn’t have…?’
The question hung between us until I said, ‘Yes. I’m rather embarrassed to admit I do. That
,’ I said pointing to my discarded bag, ‘contains my writing kit, but also my Surviving Life kit. Cheque book. Elastoplast. Safety pins. Vitamin C.’
‘And
condoms?’
‘I’ve been single for most of my adult life
,’ I protested. ‘And I’ve always had a bit of a girl scout mentality.’
Alec laughed softly
and stroked my cheek. ‘So you came prepared.’
‘No
, they’ve been in my bag for months!
Years
. Do condoms have a use-by date?’ I asked uncertainly. ‘They were in my bag before I set sight on Cauldstane. Their presence is nothing to do with you. Believe me, this is the last thing I expected. And it certainly isn’t why I came back.’
‘I
do believe you. But it’s what I want, Jenny. It’s what I’ve wanted for a long while.’
He kissed me again
, then began to haul the big sofa cushions on to the floor to provide us with a makeshift bed. He unhooked his leather apron from a peg, rolled it up to make a pillow and laid it at one end of the bed, then he took down a sword that was hanging on the wall and propped it against the door. As the door was already bolted, I knew he must have placed it there to protect us from Meredith.
I’d
already started to undress, but when I glanced anxiously at the small, uncurtained window, Alec understood. He grabbed a dirty cloth and smeared soot across the window panes in a gesture so economically elegant, I laughed. He grinned as he wiped his hand on his jeans and said, ‘I’ll have trouble explaining that to Wilma.’
He undressed quickly, dropping his clothes on to the floor, while I removed the last of mine
, then he stood before me, naked but for the tiny sword round his neck. He reached up and removed the necklace, then to my surprise, he started to drop it over my head.
‘But… what about you?’
I said, protesting.
‘Och, I’ll be fine.’
‘But, Alec, supposing she—’
‘When once we’re united, Jenny, I believe that wee sword will protect us both. Which is as
good a reason as you’ll ever get for allowing a man to make free with your body.’
I have no idea why I started to weep then, unless it was with happiness
. Alec swept me up in his arms and carried me over to the cushions. As I clung to him, pressing my face against the warm skin of his chest, I could hear the thud of his heart. He knelt and set me down gently on the cushions. Gazing at me, he touched the claymore crucifix that lay between my breasts.
‘I’m so
very glad you came back, Jenny. I thought I had to let you go. But I was wrong.’
‘
You did exactly what Meredith wanted you to do.’
‘Aye, I did. But I’
ll make up for it now. Meredith definitely doesn’t want me to do
this
…’
There was a rattle at the door
when Alec entered me, but it might have been the wind. The frantic tapping at the window could have been hailstones, but there was no reason why the furnace should have flared and spat. My body was covered by Alec’s. If any sparks reached him, they didn’t deter him from his purpose.
~
By the time I got back to my room, escorted by Alec, everyone else had turned in for the night. We agreed we should sleep separately to avoid scandalizing Wilma when she brought early morning tea to the guests, though Alec agreed Wilma would probably be delighted at the latest developments.
As I removed my clothes for the second time that night, the little sword
swung round my neck. When I’d tried to return it, Alec had forbidden me to take it off.
‘But supposing one of the others notices it?’
‘I don’t care. Do you?’
‘No
. Just as long as no one asks me how I came by it. I couldn’t guarantee to maintain my composure if they do.’
‘I like it when you fail to maintain your composure
,’ he said, stroking my cheek. ‘Good night, Imogen, my love. Sleep soundly.’
~
I was lying in bed, fingering the little silver sword, remembering how it had felt to bear the weight of Alec’s long body, wondering how soon I could repeat the experience, when I suddenly remembered.
The journal.
Alec still didn’t know.
And I still had to tell him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
I slept late and when I got up I found Rupert had gone out with Fergus for a tour of the estate. Wilma said they’d be back for lunch. After a solitary breakfast, I went looking for Alec, but he wasn’t to be found in the armoury. On my way back up to my room, I heard raised voices coming from the floor above. Pausing on the landing, I heard Alec and Sholto arguing in the library – about Cauldstane, I presumed.
Alec might have changed his mind about me, but there was no reason to think he’d relented about the sale
. He knew I’d be gone in thirty-six hours and if he saw any future for us – even in the short term – he didn’t see it taking place at Cauldstane. Alec wouldn’t fight back – not for me, not even for Cauldstane, but I wondered if he might fight for his mother. Revenge was a base motive for action, but a powerful one.
Sholto’s voice rose to a
thunderous crescendo. I heard the library door open, then slam. Feet went bounding up a flight of stairs and another door slammed. I assumed Alec had retreated to the Long Attic. A fusillade of coughing issued from the library and I was tempted to run up and see if Sholto was all right, but I thought he’d be embarrassed to know I’d overheard the row, so I turned away and saw Zelda standing at the open door of her little sitting room.
She
rolled her eyes and said, ‘Sorry you had to hear all that, Jenny. Cauldstane’s not a happy household these days.’
‘So I gather.’
‘Those two are at loggerheads. It fair breaks my heart to see it. Sholto’s
done
what Alec asked. He’s put Cauldstane up for sale, but of course no one wants to view it, let alone buy it. It’s November, for goodness sake! But Alec wants Sholto to reduce the price for a quick sale and Sholto – well, he’d rather be hanged than
give
the old place away.’ She shook her head and leaned against the door frame. ‘I see both points of view, but I cannot help either man. It’s so sad. And so unlike us… It’s as if there’s a rot at the heart of the place. I don’t mean dry rot – though no doubt we have that too. No, I think there’s something just plain
wrong
. There haven’t been rows at Cauldstane for years – not since Meredith died. I don’t think it’s Sholto’s fault, but nor do I really blame Alec. They’re just not
themselves
. Why, even Fergus is grouchy these days! He’s got something on his mind, but he’s saying nothing.’
‘
Still getting over his disappointment with Rachel, perhaps?’
‘Aye, maybe.
There’s something afoot there, but I’m not sure what.’
‘I
wish I could do something to help.’
‘Och, it’s been
a treat for everyone to see your lovely smiling face again. And Sholto’s delighted with his book. You’ve done what you can, Jenny and we’re all very grateful. We just have to sort ourselves out now. But it’s times like these I miss Liz the most. She’d have known what to do. What to say.’
‘What do you think she might have said?’
Zelda lowered her voice. ‘I think Liz would have taken Alec aside and told him – very quietly – that the Laird of Cauldstane was yet living and not beholden to his son. She might have said that. And she’d have got away with it too! But
I
can’t say that and Alec doesn’t hear when Sholto says it. Poor Liz. She’s been gone so many years now...’
‘Thirty-two.’
‘Is it as much as that? Aye, it must be. Alec’s turned forty. But she’s still sorely missed. Those poor wee boys needed a mother and instead they got Meredith. Not the same thing
at all
,’ Zelda said with a touch of asperity. ‘But you must take no notice of me, Jenny. I’m just a grumpy old woman these days, wondering why I ever left the sunny south of France.’
‘Family ties, wasn’t it? They needed you and you came to the rescue.’
‘Well, you can’t just stand by, wringing your hands. I’d rather roll my sleeves up and get on with the job. Which reminds me,’ she said, consulting her watch, ‘It’s high time I went down and gave Wilma a hand with lunch. Now she
doesn’t
change. Wilma is always good for my spirits – but very bad for my waistline!’
I watched as Zelda
descended the stairs, then listened, almost enviously, to the reassuring sound of female chatter as it drifted up from the kitchen. I went into my room and sat by the window, under the cracked mirror, staring down at the river.
Alec was
at war with the wrong person. Meredith was the enemy, not Sholto. Her journal was the only weapon I could use against her. I just needed to summon the courage to wield it.
~
I didn’t do Wilma’s lunch justice. Nor did Alec. Sholto took his lunch on a tray in the library, as usual. Fortunately Rupert and Fergus came home mud-spattered, red-cheeked, happy and hungry. Each man ate for two.
After lunch I went to the library for my final
work meeting with Sholto. We sat either side of his desk, quite comfortable together now, sorting through photos. He’d finished reading the manuscript and claimed he was delighted with it. When he confirmed he’d like to seek a publisher, I told him he could leave everything to me and my capable agent.
‘We feel fairly
optimistic about our chances of selling the book.’
‘I wish the same could be said about our chances of
selling Cauldstane,’ Sholto grumbled, his smile fading. ‘You know we had an offer?’
I sat back in my wing chair, astonished.
‘No, I didn’t.’
‘Alec didn’
t mention it?’
‘No. But the sale is a
subject I try to avoid with him.’
‘Very wise. I
only wish I could do the same. He probably didn’t tell you because the offer was quite ludicrously low. An insult!’
‘So you rejected it?’
‘Rejected it and poured scorn upon it,’ Sholto said loftily. ‘The estate agent was
not
happy. He tried to imply we should feel grateful for
any
offer. So I reminded him he was in my employ and not
vice versa
. You know, I think I’ve managed to fall out with everyone over the last few weeks. Everyone except you and Wilma. But then only a fool would argue with Wilma. She’s always right. I sometimes think I should go to Wilma and ask her what to do about this business – and it’s a bad business, make no mistake. But I doubt she’d tell me what to do, even if I pleaded with her. She’d just say, “I’m sure you know best, Mr Sholto”.’
‘
Well, I’m inclined to agree.’
‘Now why do all you women think the same? Why does no one think Alec knows best?’
‘Because you’re acting out of love. Love for your sons and for Cauldstane. Alec is motivated by fear.’
The damning words were out before I’d considered them. There was a
short silence in which I realised there was no chance of turning back, so I prepared myself for Sholto’s inevitable question. It came.
‘Motivated by
fear
? Why do you say that?’ He leaned across the desk. ‘Fear of what exactly?’
‘
Did Alec ever talk about what happened to me in the river? Why it happened?’
‘No. He didn’t volunteer any information
and I didn’t like to press him. It was all so similar to what happened to—’ Sholto hesitated and a look of anguish passed over his weary face.
‘What happened to Coral?’
He nodded. ‘Then I imagine Alec hasn’t told you why he wanted me to leave. Or why he changed his mind about selling Cauldstane.’
‘
Are you referring to the curse?’
‘No. Alec doesn’t believe in the curse. No
body does, do they? But as Zelda explained to me, you don’t have to believe in the MacNab curse for it to do you harm.’
Sholto looked confus
ed. ‘I’m not sure I follow, Jenny.’
‘Before I came here,
I didn’t believe in ghosts. I’m still not sure I do, but I know
something
is trying to destroy this family, bit by bit. And top of her To Do list is drive the MacNabs out of Cauldstane.’
Sholto
appeared to consider, then said, ‘Are you talking about…
Meredith
?’
‘Meredith’s ghost.’
‘And you think that is what she wants?’
‘I know it is
. And so does Alec.’
He put a gnarled hand up to his brow and rubbed his forehead.
‘Let me get this straight… You’re saying Meredith’s
ghost
had something to do with your accident?’
‘And Coral’s suicide. Except that i
t wasn’t suicide. Coral died the way I was meant to die. She was lured into the river by a child in distress.’
‘A child?’
‘A little girl. But there was no child. It was Meredith.’
‘But—
’ He gave a short laugh of disbelief. ‘How can you
know
all this, Jenny?’
‘When I was in the river
I saw Coral’s camera. It was hanging under the bridge, caught on a branch. Alec saw it too. It’s been missing since she drowned. He never believed it was suicide because he couldn’t find her camera. He thought she just went out for a walk that day. With her camera. She didn’t go out intending to die.’
Before Sholto could reply, there was a
knock at the door. Fergus’ dark head appeared. ‘Sorry to disturb you folks. I couldn’t find Zelda. Wilma says, would you like tea served in here or will you be joining us in the drawing room?’
‘Oh...
In here, I suppose,’ Sholto replied, distracted.
‘Fergus, before you go––’ I called to his retreating head. He reappeared and stepped into the room. ‘C
ould I ask you something? You remember the day I nearly drowned?’
He pulled a face.
‘I’ll never forget it. It haunts me still. I had a ringside seat for a double drowning that would have made me heir to Cauldstane – an honour, I do
not
covet.’
‘When you were standing on the bridge, looking at me, what did you see?’
Fergus looked puzzled, but answered gamely. ‘You were standing on the stepping stones. Near the Blood Stone.’
‘Did you see anything else?’
‘No.’
‘You’re
sure you didn’t see anyone else?’
‘
Well, Alec was on the bridge beside me. Until he started running.’
‘But you didn’t see anyone
in the river with me?’
‘No.’
Fergus looked uneasy, as if he anticipated my next question. ‘But I referred to someone else, didn’t I? And you didn’t understand. Can you remember what I said?’
‘Aye.
You said, “Don’t worry about me, just go and get some rope. Before the child falls in.” Something like that.’
I nodded. ‘And do you remember what
you
said in reply?’
‘I
think I said, “What child?” ’
‘
Yes, you did. Thanks, Fergus. I’m sorry for the interrogation, but I’m trying to demonstrate something to Sholto. Do you happen to know if Alec’s about?’
‘H
e’s in the kitchen. Or he was a few moments ago.’
I glanced at Sholto
, then said, ‘Would you ask him to come up to the library, please?’ Fergus now looked as confused as Sholto, but he said nothing and left.
As soon as the door
closed, Sholto said, ‘What the hell happened that day, Jenny? Please tell me the truth, however incredible the truth may be.’
I spoke quickly, wanting to explain before Alec arrived.
‘I saw the child Fergus couldn’t see. She was standing on the stepping stones. She was crying and I thought she might fall in at any moment, so I rang Fergus, then Alec. I told them to come to the river, then I went in to try to rescue her.’
‘Did Alec see this child?’
Before I could reply, there was another knock at the door. I fixed Sholto with a look. ‘Ask him. He knows what I saw that day and I know what he saw. We compared notes.’
Sholto
called, ‘Come in.’
Alec smiled when he saw me
. I felt mean, knowing what I was about to do, but I returned his smile, registering an impulse – a strong one – to move towards him and take his hand, but I remained seated.
Sholto had evident
ly clocked his son’s smile and looked from Alec to me, then back again, even more perplexed. He rose and walked round his desk, so that he stood beside my chair. If Alec faced Sholto, he could hardly fail to register my reactions.
‘
Alec,’ Sholto said, leaning on his stick. ‘I’ve been talking to Jenny about the time you pulled her out of the river.’ The remnants of Alec’s smile disappeared and he looked at me for guidance. I met his helpless gaze as Sholto continued. ‘She says there was a child in difficulties. That’s why she went in. To rescue her. Is this true?’