Cautious (Sequel to Disastrous) (16 page)

I watched as he paced back and forth distracted by his own
thoughts.

“Marcus?” I approached him cautiously.

Ignoring me, he continued to pace around the room. Finally he
froze and turned to face me. “Come away with me.”

Puzzled by his instant urge to go away, I studied his unreadable
his expression. “Where to?”

His brows rose as he shrugged. “I don’t know—anywhere—my vacation
home in the Bahamas? Anywhere you want to go. I just have to leave.”

My heart broke for him. I knew the information he just found out
was hard for him to take, and as much as I wanted to jump in his arms and
comfort him, I had to control myself. “When?”

“Now. I’ll help you pack.” He swiftly passed me and headed toward
the closet. I followed him. He reached for a suitcase and started throwing random
things in it. His mind was completely distracted. He even grabbed a frame that
held an old picture of my brother and me when were kids from on top of the dresser
and tossed it into the case.

I caught his wrist and forced him to look at me. I wanted him to
stop. “Why are we leaving?” I knew why, but I had to pretend, and that was so
hard to do. As I stood in front of him, I wanted to desperately console him.
Instead, I had to lie. I felt sick to my stomach for pretending. I had never
had to pretend with him before, and I felt disgusted with myself.

“I just need a break. I’m fuckin’ stressed, Mia.”

I reached up and grazed the side of his face with my fingertips.
“What are you stressed about, Marcus?”

He shut his eyes and leaned into the palm of my hand. His face
relaxed for a few seconds. Then he shot his eyes open. “With work and the jobs,
I just want to go away with you and forget about it all. Just for a few days, I
need to clear my mind, before I fuckin’ lose it.”

My thumb caressed his face as I stared into his worn out
chocolate eyes. My stomach tugged with guilt, and I had an urge to break down
and tell him everything I knew, but I couldn’t. “Okay.” I nodded. “Okay. We can
go away. Megan, Jeremy, and my mother are leaving Friday for Philadelphia. They
invited us to go with them. I know that’s two days away, but if you want, we
can leave for Philly now and have some time to ourselves before they arrive.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. Okay, let’s finish getting you packed.”
I grabbed his arm to stop him again.

“Marcus, how about you take a shower while I finish packing.
Okay?”

He stared at me with furrowed brows. “Do I stink?” He lifted the
collar of his shirt to his nose and sniffed.

Laughing, I reached up and smoothed the collar. “No, you just
seem worn out and a hot shower will soothe you.”

“I don’t have any clothes to change into.”

“I have a few boxer briefs and t-shirts you’ve left here before.
They’re clean. Just toss on the same pair of jeans.” I went toward my drawer,
pulled out his things, turned, and handed them to him.

Marcus looked down at the few things in his hands and then back
at me. He nodded and then headed toward the shower. Letting out a long breath,
I quickly texted Theresa and told her that we were going away for a few days
and that I’d keep her updated. I quickly gathered my suitcase and sat patiently
on the bed for Marcus to finish.

After twenty minutes, Marcus came out of the steamy bathroom with
his hair damp. I thought the hot shower would relax him, but with his brows
creased and his lips kept in a thin line, I knew it didn’t work. I wished I
knew what was running through his mind at that moment. “You ready?” he asked.

As I stood from the bed, I gave a curt nod and reached for my
suitcase. He was faster than me and grabbed it before I could. “Do we need to
stop by your house to pack a bag for you as well?”

He grabbed my arm. “No, whatever I need, I’ll grab in Philly.” I
didn’t question him on it. I knew him well enough that I was sure he thought
his mother was at his home and he wanted to stay away from her.

Before we left, I explained to Jeremy and Megan that we were
going to Philly early and that would meet them on Friday. Megan was excited
that we were going. I asked her to let my mother know. After our good-byes,
Marcus and I hopped in his car and hit the road.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

MARCUS

We pulled up to a hotel in downtown Philadelphia a
little past ten that evening. I had Mia contact them on our drive down and
reserve a stay for us in the Presidential suite, which was the best room
available. After we exited the car, I removed Mia’s suitcase from the backseat,
and then I handed the keys and tip over to the valet. He gave us a ticket
before we entered the building.

Mia’s eyes spread wide open as she gasped when we entered the hotel.
I was sure she was admiring the historic structure of the lobby with its
oversize marble pillars and the simple touches that were elegant and modern.
“It’s beautiful.” She whispered as she leaned into me.

I smiled at her as we made our way toward the front desk. “Hello,
how may I help you?” a brunette asked, with a name tag that read “Sydney”
pinned to her vest.

“We called a few hours ago and made reservations under the name Marcus
DeLuca.”

Sydney tapped her fingers along the keyboard. “Ah, yes.” She
placed the room key cards in a small brochure and handed it over to me. “Here
you go. Your room number is right here. The elevators are just over there.” She
pointed to my right. “Enjoy your stay.” She smiled. I simply nodded.

“Thank you so much.” Mia chirped. I grabbed Mia’s hand and we
headed toward the elevator. I was drained from the long fucking drive. I wasn’t
sure why we didn’t fly in, but I was so pissed off at that moment I couldn’t
even think of anything else. Mia and I had driven in silence for the last five
hours while music filled the space in the car. As much as I needed her, I also needed
that time to think on my own.

She hadn’t questioned my behavior since we had left her apartment,
and I was grateful for that. She was usually pushy when she wanted information.
I was glad she had resisted those impulses at that moment. I just wanted a
fucking bed, and just in time, the elevator doors opened. We exited and made
our way toward our room. Mia entered first, and from her expression, I could
tell she was impressed. I was too drained to look around and admire the room or
even give a shit. I placed Mia’s suitcase on the ground, stripped down to my
briefs, and tossed myself in the bed.

I could hear Mia brushing her teeth in the bathroom. After a few
minutes, she joined me in bed after she shut off the lamp. I pulled her to me
as I pressed my forehead into the crease of her neck. Her sweet scent eased me
into a soothing trance. It was all I wanted at that moment: a different place,
a bed, and my girl.

***

I was in such a deep sleep that, when I woke the next
day, I had forgotten where I was. Until I took note of the hotel room, it
didn’t dawn on me that we were still in Philly. Mia wasn’t in bed, nor could I
hear her in the bathroom or the living room area. Looking around, I searched
for my phone. When I remembered it was in my jeans, I grudgingly rolled out of
bed and grabbed them. As I was about to dial Mia’s number, she waltzed through
the door. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” she sang as she approached me with a few
bags in her hands. “I’ve never heard you snore before. You were pretty out of it,
so I decided to grab some clothes for you. I hope you don’t mind?”

Still grumpy, I leaned down, kissed her forehead, and then headed
toward the bathroom. After I had finished and had returned to the bedroom, I
glanced over at Mia. She was on the bed, texting on her phone. Her eyes flashed
up at my presence. “I was just texting Megan to let her know that we made it
here safely.” She shrugged.

I nodded and sank into the space beside her. I had the worst
pounding headache. The past few weeks had been a fucking mess. I dropped my
face into my hands and leaned over, resting my elbows on my knees. Mia placed
her hand on my back and began stroking it. “Are you okay?” She asked in a low
voice.

“Yeah, I just have a fuckin’ headache.” I replied in a grumpy
tone. She stood from the bed. I could hear her searching for something and then
heard a door open and close. When she sat back down beside me, she tapped my
arm. I looked up. She held out two aspirins and a bottle of water in her hand.
Without hesitating, I grabbed the pills, tossed them down my throat, and downed
them with water. “Thanks.” I mumbled.

“So what do you want to do today? We can grab a bite to eat and
then explore the city? Or grab a bite to eat and have a laid-back day with a
movie? Or anything?”

I shoved a hand through my hair in frustration, not with her,
just with everything else. I was in a crappy mood, and I knew I shouldn’t take
it out on her. “I’d rather stay in. We can do those things tomorrow if you like.
I’m not up for exploring. Is that okay with you?”

“Sure.” Even though she’d been playing it cool and not
questioning me, something seemed off with her.

“Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

With a slight smile, she twirled her fingers along the back of my
neck. “Of course, Marcus, you wanted to get away to clear your mind. I don’t
mind staying in. We can order in and rent movies. It’ll be fun.” She nodded,
reassuring me that she was okay.

“Thank you.” I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss.

For the next few hours, that was exactly what we did. We lounged
around in our pajamas, watched TV, ordered in, and rented a few movies. We were
lazy, and it couldn’t have been a better day. My mind didn’t drift back to all
the bullshit. I didn’t stop to think about anything that fucking bothered me. I
just simply took that day to do nothing but relax with my girl. It was just what
I needed. We made long, sweet, gentle love that night, and before we knew it,
the late night crept in and we were fast asleep.

***

My eyes flashed open at the sound of a loud banging noise. I
jerked forward in my chair. The area I was in was unrecognizable. It seemed as
if I was in a vacant room in an old warehouse. I stood up from the rusted chair
and continued to search my surroundings. Where the fuck was I? Slowly I circled
around and tried to find an exit.

There was none.

How was that fucking possible?

The tarnished eight-by-ten space only held one chair smack-dab
in the middle. Beside the leg of the chair on the ground was a black-metal
object. I made my way toward it, and as I got closer, I realized it was a gun.
I picked it up and checked to see if it was loaded. It was fully loaded with
six bullets. Confused, I spun around when I heard the noise again. Where was it
coming from? It sounded like a rattling noise against a metal frame, but it
didn’t come from a particular area. It bounced throughout the room.

For the next hour, I searched in every inch of the corners,
walls, and ceiling of the room and came up empty.

Nothing.

Just an empty fucking space.

If there was no way out, how the fuck was there a way in?
Frustrated, I sank into the chair and began going through my most recent
memories. Images of Mia and I making love burst through my head.

Was she safe? Was she taken too? I gripped my hair as anger
surged through me.

Lou. He was fucking responsible. He was responsible for
everything!

He was the only one that could’ve done it. Why? What does he want?

Why can’t he just leave my fucking life alone!

Then I stared into fucking space as I looked back on the last
fifteen years of my life spiraling out of control.

My father’s death.

His gravesite.

Lou taking me in as his own son. The trust I had in him.

Jimmie.

Michael Sullivan. The documents and the news he had of what Lou
did to my father.

Michael’s death.

Elle.

The drug exchanges. The murders.

Club21.

My mother.

The fucking lies.

Mia. What we shared: the love, the pregnancy, what she found
out about her brother, the miscarriage.

FUCK! With the anger burning through me, I shot the gun in the
air three times.

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Breathing heavily, I continued to blankly stare into nothing.

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, hours or days, but every
minute that ticked by my mind began to play tricks on me.

Who was I?

What had I become?

The more I sat there, answering my own questions, the more I
hated myself. I was trying to be a better man, but I couldn’t change who I
really was. I couldn’t give more. I wasn’t strong enough. I was breaking down
piece by piece.

I had tried to bury my memories six feet under.

But there was nowhere to run.

I was tired.

I was drained emotionally and physically.

I was done.

Finished.

I didn’t care to beg, to live.

Lifting the gun, I aimed it at my head, and then I pulled the
trigger.

***

I gasped for air as I awoke from the dream. Breathing
heavily, I jerked up as my head whipped around. My body was damp with sweat, and
my heart thundered against my chest. Dazed, I was able to confirm that I was
still in the hotel room. My eyes flicked to my side as I heard Mia mumble in
her sleep. Sighing, I leaned against the headboard and grudgingly ran a hand
down my face. I glanced at the time. It was almost two in the morning.

I hadn’t had a dream like that in a long time.

I pressed down on my eyelids until my anxiety calmed. After I was
settled, I lay back down in bed and pulled Mia into me again. She mumbled as
she nestled her head into my chest. As comforting as it was having her beside
me, I couldn’t fall back to sleep. I stared at the ceiling for the rest of the
morning as I replayed the dream over and over again.