Authors: Alison Kervin
'Oh God, Kelly, you look amazing.' Sophie is standing in front of me with beautiful pale-pink tea roses weaved into a crown on her head. I've got them dotted through my hair, which is down, cascading over my bare shoulders as I stand here in this beautiful white sheath dress. We almost did it. We almost held the wedding on 29 April but then Frank was ill and we knew he really wanted to come, so we put it off. He's much better now and the benefit of waiting until the beginning of July is that it's infinitely warmer and the roses are all in bloom. Yep, you guessed: Rufus and I are holding our wedding ceremony in the Rose Garden at Hampton Court Palace. I couldn't be happier. He couldn't be happier. Mum and Dad couldn't be happier, and Frank? Frank looks like he just won the jackpot. He had to retire 'unofficially' as well as officially after his illness, so he's not here so much now. Neither is Lawrence, actually – we've employed him as head gardener at the house, and Frank comes once a week to check on him, and to drink sweet tea with me.
'Ready for the veil?' asks Mandy, and they place the soft, long flowing veil over my head.
'God, sweetheart you look lovely,' says Dad, taking my arm and leading me towards the path that will lead us into the garden and to my future husband. I have four bridesmaids: Sophie and Mandy are the main two, then there's Katy and Jenny in the second tier, threatening to start throwing Maltesers at me when I'm about to say 'I do'.
The band strikes up 'Here Comes the Bride' and I look towards the end of the garden where Rufus is waiting with Courty and Deeves – his two great mates who've flown over for the ceremony with their wives. They're lovely guys – such fun – and their wives will become great friends of mine, I know they will. I've made them honorary flower girls and they're standing by the exit, ready to sprinkle the ground with petals when everyone leaves. Henry, David and Lawrence are right next to them – all looking so incredibly smart. Next to them are Rufus's staff. Sorry, my staff! They're also my friends. There's Pamela all dressed up in pale blue, and the lovely Julie looking gorgeous in a pink dress that I helped her to pick out. She, Mandy, Sophie and I went shopping together and had a ball picking out clothes. She's invited Mike from the record shop to come as her guest. I see him standing next to her. She's right; he's very good-looking. Christine's next to them, in a shimmering coffee-coloured dress. She looks lovely. I've managed to strike up more of a friendship with her than I ever thought possible. It's amazing what being in love can do for you!
Frank's sitting down on the bench with no inscription, on a velvet throw, watching patiently with a smile etched across his face.
There are four ushers here: Morgan, Mather, Prentice and Jimmy. They stand with their sunglasses on looking more like bouncers than they've ever looked before.
'Don't worry about security. We hired security separately,' I say, but they can't. They've spent so long watching my back that on the most important day of my life they want to be sure that nothing bad happens. The only way to guarantee that is to stay watching.
We had to have a separate service this morning to make the wedding vows official. Ruf and I jumped into the car and zoomed off to Richmond Register Office, hoping to keep the whole thing low key and go for a great big breakfast afterwards, but it wasn't to be. The press caught up with us so we had to rush back home early. Now, we're here. The press have been held right back. Despite an unwanted bidding war breaking out between
OK
and
Hello!
, we have no magazine deal, no journalists in attendance and no desire for any publicity.
Sophie was a little bit annoyed at the decision. '
Heat
called?' she said, alarmed. 'Surely we can make an exception for them. It's
Heat
. I mean
Heat
. Surely it's OK for you to be in
Heat
?'
'Not today,' I said, and she let it drop. She looked confused but said she understood. I don't think she'll ever really understand why I wouldn't want to be in
Heat
, but that's OK. A year ago I wouldn't have understood either.
I'm right next to Rufus now and he takes my hand as the service begins. We keep it short because the last thing we want is for everyone to be bored out of their minds. There are poems about us and poems about love. Mandy reads about roses while Lawrence looks on adoringly.
'Roses are ancient symbols of love and beauty,' she says. 'The rose was sacred to a number of goddesses, including Isis and Aphrodite, and is often used as a symbol of the Virgin Mary.'
As she talks I just look around at all these wonderful people. Mostly though, I look at the wonderful person next to me – Rufus. I think of the sacrifices he's made. His mother was furious when he said that the ceremony wouldn't be in New York, and at one point she refused to come to the wedding, until he persuaded her that he loved her and needed her to be there on his special day. She seems relaxed as she sits there, talking to my mum. Perhaps I'll get to like her, over time.
Rufus says he's planning to dance with Great-Aunt Maude later, when we have a huge party in the grounds of the palace, with fireworks over the river, food, drink, wine and fun. Then, we have to somehow work out a life together. I have to work out what my role in that life will be. I didn't want to be a Celebrity Bride and I don't want to be a Celebrity Wife. I want to be more than that. I'm not sure quite what yet though. Will we have kids? I hope so. I'd love that. But there's a whole lifetime before that happens. Rufus has to go to LA for the filming of the Bond movie and I've promised I'll go with him. What on earth will they make of me there? I've put the weight back on and, you know, I don't care. If they don't like me as a size 12, it's their problem. I won't diet to please them and I certainly won't lie to please them. I won't pretend to be someone that I'm not.
I look over at the bench with no name and see Frank, wearing his best suit, and smiling for all he's worth. He stands up when we approach and pulls the velvet throw aside. A shiny gold plaque gleams in the sunshine. 'A bench for lovers like Kelly and Rufus, and for all who are entranced and delighted by the magic of roses,' it reads.
'Thank you,' I say, staring deep into his soft warm eyes. 'It's absolutely perfect.'
An exclusive interview with Alison Kervin:
What was the inspiration for
Celebrity Bride?
I am quite fascinated by the issue of 'celebrity' and the change that becoming a celebrity imposes on a personality. But I thought . . . what if a sweet, normal girl found herself hoisted into the world of celebrity, and carried on being her usual, bright and normal self? I also wanted it to be an out and out romance and a tale about real people in a make believe world.
Dream-casting time: who would play Rufus and Kelly in the movie of
Celebrity Bride?
Oooo . . . I love this game. My friends and I spend a lot of time working out who will play each role. The debates get quite heated and I end up listening to them arguing about why Julia Roberts is wrong and Catherine Zeta-Jones in her younger days would have been perfect (I think they're right there, but in the absence of a time machine, that's not going to work). I'm thinking of Hugh Jackman for Rufus, Obviously George Clooney's a contender but I wonder whether he might be a bit old for it by the time they make the film (Sorry George. I know you'll be devastated!) Maybe Brad Pitt? Might be nice to have Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie acting together as Rufus and Kelly, but she'd have to put on a bit (a lot!) of weight first, and I'm not sure she's much of a pie and chips eater. For Kelly (assuming Angelina doesn't want to go down the pie route and assuming we go for Hugh Jackman as Rufus), I'm thinking Anna Friel? She's a good comic actress, isn't she? Again, she's very slim, but I bet she'd be more likely to fill up on jam donuts than Angelina.
Which celebrity wedding would you have liked to have gone to and why?
I suppose it would have been good to have gone to Charles and Diana's wedding because Diana ended up becoming such an incredibly influential woman, and their wedding and her entry into the royal family became such a hugely significant moment.
Who are your favourite authors?
This isn't the sort of question you can give a one-word answer to, so here's a selection. Graham Greene is a genius (read the first few pages of
End of The Affair
and look at the beauty of the language, the rhythms and simplicity of the images he creates). I'm slightly obsessed with GK Chesterton at the moment (more his journalism than his fiction). Margaret Attwood is blindingly good.
Confession time: which classic novel have you always meant to read and never got round to it?
Ulysses
. I'm ashamed to admit it, and I recognise that it's a work of sheer genius but I can't 'do' it. I'm quite good at reading highly dense, plot-thick novels, and have a huge crush on Russian literature, but
Ulysses
- sorry but I've tried and failed and I'd rather sit and eat my hair than try again.
Which fictional character would you most like to have met?
I'd quite like to meet Rufus George, to be honest . . . I think he sounds lovely. I like writing female characters. In terms of women who would I like to meet? Maybe Cathy in
Wuthering Heights
because she's such an incredibly forceful and clever character.
Who, in your opinion, is the greatest writer of all time?
It's very hard not to pick Shakespeare here. He has such a dominating influence over literature that it's almost as if you have to mount a defence for not picking him! But it's easy to over-write and over-embellish and over-tell stories as a writer, and then you read: 'To be or not to be . . .' and realise that the most famous statement in the whole of literature is just six words that are so basic they'd be known to the average three-year-old. It's extraordinarily clever, and difficult, to take a vastly complicated subject and reduce it to six simple little words like that.
Other than writing, what other jobs have you undertaken or considered?
I was a journalist for a long time, before writing books, and I did a brief stint at the Rugby Football Union as match-day PR officer for the England team (a lot of the time I was 'looking after' the wives and girlfriends of the players who were a great bunch of women and many of them have become great friends), but it's pretty much been writing all the way since I left college.
What are you working on at the moment?
The follow-up book to
Celebrity Bride
, in which we follow Kelly on her adventures with Rufus as his wife. I'm drafting out loads of ideas for that at the moment, and it should be a fun book.
What question have you never been asked in an interview, but think you should have been?
I've never been asked why I write . . . yet I think 'why?' is at the centre of most good literature. Understanding character's motivations and why they behave the way they do, and building into all the stories you write a sensible assessment of 'why' is crucial. So, odd that people never ask why . . .