Authors: Liza Brown
“No, that's ok.” I looked at my adorable nephew. “I'll play for a little bit and then I have to get going.”
My phone rang in my pocket for the third time since I had gotten there. It was on vibrate so I was the only one who knew. I continued to ignore it.
I spent the next 45 minutes racing small cars on a battery-operated track. I spent most of the time answering questions Mitch had about each of the cars. Of my two nephews he was the one who actually took any sort of interest in what I did for a living. He was a car-lover like me.
I gave him a good-bye hug and waved to Brandon who was preoccupied with watching an old basketball game on ESPN Classics. I'm pretty sure it was one of Elsu's old games.
“What were you going to tell us earlier, Mae?” asked Max as he and Gina saw me to the door.
“I'll tell you later. It's really nothing. Nothing I can't fix.”
“If I were you Mae, I'd confront Greg and Aaron. If they didn't do it you'll be able to tell. You're good at detecting liars.”
“Sometimes,” I said.
“Most of the time. We'll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
“At the opening. You're going to be there, right? For Aaron's reveal?”
“OH, yeah. I forgot about that.”
I gave Max a hug, waved goodbye to Gina and finally headed home.
I mindlessly went straight to my apartment when I pulled out my keys and was reminded I had to go see Elsu whether I wanted to or not. I went back down the hallway when the elevator door opened and Elsu and his Uncle Richard stepped out. “THERE you are!” said Elsu. “I've been calling you all evening. Have you gotten my call? I was worried.”
“Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. We need to talk.”
“Ok, come up to the apartment. I'll get you your key.”
I reluctantly got on the elevator but took the corner furthest from Elsu. Richard remained quiet as he watched our interaction. I quietly followed Elsu to his door and stepped into his new apartment.
I couldn't keep quiet. “What the hell is this?” I asked.
“It's ok, your brother said lightly furnished.”
“No, it's not ok. It's the furthest from ok it could possibly be.”
“Really, it's ok. It's a place to stay.” He stepped up to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. I stepped back.
“Elsu, we need to talk.” I looked around him and saw Uncle Richard take a seat in a metal folding chair next to Millard and Magdalena. They all sat around a yellowing card table and I cursed Max in my head.
“Is everything ok?” he asked.
“Umm, can we talkâ¦alone?”
Millard, Richard and Magdalena took the cue and stepped into one of the bedrooms. I sat down on the horrible excuse for a couch and when Elsu did too he sunk down so far his knees were at his shoulders. Even in such a pathetic state, this man was hot.
“What's wrong?”
“Elsu,” I turned to look at him. We were separated by a seat cushion. I wanted terribly to scoot over but I didn't. “I know we talked earlier about us. But I can't. Not now. I'm not ready.”
“Ready? Can't what? What do you mean?”
“Elsu, I've got just way too much baggage to be any good for you. This whole situation with the traveling and the games and the press and theâ¦just the everything. I'm not going to be able to handle all of this.” I dug into my purse and pulled out his credit card. “I really appreciate you being so trusting of me and wanting to be with me. But I really think this isn't going to be good. For either of us.” I tried to hand him the card but he wouldn't take it. I laid it on the cushion.
“But⦔ he seemed frightened. “We talked. We were getting along. Weren't we? You don't have to come to the games. I'll be ok if you don't. Iâ¦I justâ¦What did I do wrong? Let me fix it, Mae.”
I shook my head and could feel my head filling with the pressure of unshed tears. “You didn't do anything wrong, Elsu. It was me. I shouldn't have led you on to begin with. I'm just not in the right state of mind right now for this.”
He was sad. His eyes were glossy. “No,” he said.
“What?”
“No, youâ¦you have taken over my whole heart and soul this week, Mae. I'm not letting you go this easily.”
“This isn't easy for me,” I stammered.
“We haven't even been dating a day and you already want to break up based on a few hours of thinking on it? You hugged me, Mae. You kissed me. I kissed you.”
“They were just kisses, Elsu. You can kiss any girl you want.”
“No, Mae. They weren't just kisses. They were our kisses. No other girl is going to make me feel the way you did with such a simple kiss. When you wrapped your arms around me today? There was something in that hug that made me know that you were something special. Something I couldn't live without.”
“Elsu! We've only known each other a week! You can't know all that already.”
What was I saying? I knew it too.
“If someone had told me this a week ago I'd say the same thing. You can't develop feelings for someone in such a short period of time. But I can't get you out of my mind, Mae. I'll never get you out of my mind.”
Tears finally burst forth. How the hell was I supposed to go through with this? He was the first man I had ever had actual feelings for and I was trying to push him away because some bastard with slimy hair and a dirty suit was trying to blackmail me. But I couldn't allow Aaron and Greg to be blamed for something they didn't do just because I wanted to be selfish. There are other guys. Maybe I'd find one of them some day. Right now, I had to leave. I stood up and started toward the door. I looked back as he stayed on the couch.
“I'm sorry, Elsu.”
He didn't move, just stared. I lowered my head and left the apartment.
I went to my unit and before I could even get the door unlocked, I was finding it hard to breathe from all of the crying I was doing. How dare that bastard Carl do this to me! He didn't know me. Just because I wasn't a beautiful, famous person didn't mean I couldn't date Elsu, or any one of the team members. Not that I wanted any of the team members. I only wanted Elsu. Now he was alone and I was the bitch who broke his heart. I headed to
the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror above the sink and looked at myself from the waist up. I had shed my shirt and bra and watched myself cry. “You are pathetic, Mae,” I told myself. “The pathetic, loser girl who is always doing for everyone else. Never for herself.”
I took a step back to get ready for a shower when I noticed my arms still had the black and blue marks from the night before. Two bruises on my left arm showed two distinct handprints. My right arm only had one. They didn't hurt anymore but they were definitely there. I'd need to remember to keep them covered up for the next few days. I also eyed the hickey on my neck. It wasn't fading at all. If anything, it seemed redder than I recalled from the night before.
“This is what you get, Mae. No matter what you do, you get beat up. If it's not someone else beating you up, it's you beating yourself up.” I took a shower and got dressed quickly. My chop shop shirt was short enough for me to see my bruises. Something clicked in my head and I took a few pictures of them. I even laid a dollar bill next to them to show their size. There was a plan forming in my head and I had a feeling these pictures would come in handy.
Early the next morning I went into the shop to look at the car that I had seen the night before. I drove it around the block a few times and thought it might do the job for my yearly POS. I'd get hell from Colette and Steve for doing this but it was what it was. There were a few things that needed to be done to it so I left it there and marked it to be saved from being scrapped and left with Little José for breakfast.
My phone continued to vibrate in my pocket and I continued to ignore it. I drove to a downtown restaurant that was open for breakfast even though it was known for its burgers. I sat at a table while my phone continued to buzz. I finally pulled it out and saw that most of the calls were from Elsu but there were a few from an unknown source. I had 15 voicemails.
I sighed out loud and scanned through them before I decided which ones to listen to. I started going through Elsu's messages first. They started with friendly âwhere-are-you's' then slowly changed to worried âI-can't-find-you's' and finally, as expected, âI'm-sorry-please-forgive-me's.' He had me in tears by the last one.
Then I went to the calls from the unknown number. There were three. Carl.
“Mae, you got him to live in your apartment? I'm pretty sure this goes against the whole âleave-him-alone' part of our agreement. I'll give you that this happened before we had our talk last night. You better stay on your floor of the building. Don't get too used to him being there. I'll make sure he has a place to stay. Soon.”
“Of course you will, you ass!” I said to my phone as I clicked on the next message.
“So you broke up with him. I'm impressed. He's heartbroken but once he gets over this he'll be on his game like he should be
and everything will be great. I must admit, I'm surprised. I didn't think you had it in you. These two friends of yours must be more important than I thought they were.”
“Ugh! No, I just don't like people being accused of something they didn't do,” I whispered. Or did they? I still found it very unlikely of them to have done it.
The last voicemail was short but the message was received loud and clear.
“Don't show up at the game tonight, Mae.”
“Like I'd do that!” I said as I put the phone down and then buried my head in my hands.
“Excuse me,” I looked up to see the waitress. “Are you ready to order?”
“Yeah, I'll have a coffee, and the waffle, please.”
“Coming right up,” she smiled at me and walked away.
A few moments later, the coffee was delivered and the waitress leaned in to me. “Ma'am, the charge for your meal is being taken care of.”
“Why? I can pay for it,” I knew I looked a bit scuzzy in my jeans and faded chop shop shirt, but I hoped I didn't come across as a homeless person.
“Just one of the patrons being kind, ma'am.”
“Which patron?”
She pointed to the low wall that I sat next to and I realized a man was sitting on the other side. He probably could have heard me talking to myself while I checked my messages. I couldn't make out his features because of the fake greenery that acted as a wall to separate us. “Tell him thank you, but I'd rather pay for it myself,” I said to the waitress but made sure it was loud enough for the man to hear.
“Ok,” said the waitress. She walked away and I sat quietly thinking about my problems.
“Are you ok?” came a voice through the leaves.
He startled me. “Umm, yeah. I'm fine.”
“You didn't sound fine earlier.”
“Just some personal issues to deal with.”
“What kind of issues?”
“Oh, just people being controlling and typical boy problems.”
“Boy?”
“Yes, I broke up with my boyfriend last night,” I didn't know why I was sharing this information with some faceless voice, but I found his calming.
“That poor guy,” he said.
“I didn't want to break up with him, I had to.”
“You had to?”
“Yeah, it's a long story. But hopefully everything will be ok now that I did.”
“Exactly what kind of problem
makes
someone break up with someone?”
“Oh, just things I can't control.”
“Well, personally, I don't think anyone can control who someone else dates. That's not how love works.”
“Love?” I chuckled. “We'd only been dating for a day.”
“You dated one day and someone convinced you to break up with him that quick?”
“I had to,” I said.
“Why?”
“I can't really discuss the details.”
“Are you Catholic?”
I choked on my coffee. “Excuse me?”
“Catholic, are you Catholic? There seem to be a lot of those around here.”
“Ummm, I was raised Catholic. I guess technically I'm Catholic.”
“So you went through the whole go-to-the-priest-and-tell-him-all-your-misdeeds thing?”
“You mean Reconciliation?”
“Yeah, Reconciliation. That's a mighty big word for second graders to wrap their heads around. What kind of sins can you have at that age? But here, go in a room alone with a priest you've only met a few times and tell him all your secrets. How exciting can those first ones be? I argued with my brother? I stole my sister's hairbrush? That has to be a boring job.”
I looked toward the voice. “I never thought of it that way, but I guess it could be.”
“Well, I can't see you, you can't see me. Pretend I'm the priest.”
“But I don't have any misdeeds to confess.”
“This guy you were forced to break up with, was he a mean person?”
“Goodness no,” I said.
“So by no fault of his own, he is single now?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“That wasn't very nice of you, was it? That's got to be one of the big ten rules, right?”
“Thou shalt not hurt someone's feelings?”
“Ok, the eleventh one. The one even non-religious people seem to agree on. Treat others as you would want to be treated.”
“Yeah, I guess that falls into that category.”
“I bet this guy really liked you too.”
I was silent and prayed my meal would arrive soon.
“So, this unlucky fellow. He's ugly?”
“Hah, no!”
“Homeless?”
“Wellâ¦not really.”
“Not really?”
“Long story.”
“He doesn't have a job? He couldn't take care of you the way you deserve?”