Authors: Sally Clements
The waitress handed him the wine list, took his order and left them alone with menus.
She looked different tonight. Her long blonde hair had been straightened, falling in a shot-silk curtain to the top of her breasts. She’d done something with her eyes, making them look more mysterious and dramatic somehow. The tricks women used were beyond him, but he felt their effects through every inch of his body.
That dress…
“Have I told you I like your dress?”
Her cheek dimpled. “More than once,” she teased, winding a flat skein of hair between her fingers. “But it wouldn’t fit you.”
“I haven’t got the legs for it.” With an exaggerated leer, Ryan glanced under the table. “And I sure couldn’t walk in those shoes.”
Andie grinned. “It’s an art. I found the dress first, and once I saw the shoes, I just had to have them.” She stretched a long leg out, and turned her ankle left to right, gazing at the high gold heels. “I mean, if you’re going to wear a gold mini-dress, you’ve got to have the right shoes.” She tucked her foot back into place.
The party next week was likely to be a serious affair—and the people attending conservative. He just hoped she wasn’t going to give the assembled worthies a heart attack. The golden mini-dress skimmed her thighs, and dipped low enough at the front to reveal a hint of cleavage.
“You might…have to wear a coat or something. Just till we get there.”
Andie’s brow pleated. “What are you talking about?”
Ryan swallowed. “On Monday.”
“Monday?” Andie looked confused for a moment, then her mouth tilted upward. “Monday? You mean the fundraiser?”
Ryan nodded, feeling the stiffness in his neck.
“I’m not wearing
this
to the fundraiser. I’ve bought a sensible dress for that.”
Relief flooded through Ryan as his fears dissolved. The dress was too frivolous, would send the wrong message to the people attending. Besides, once the men attending caught a glimpse of Andie in it he’d be beating them off with a stick. “I thought…”
Andie’s face pinked. She glanced down then peeked at him from underneath her lashes. “I bought this for tonight.”
She’d bought the dress for him. For their evening together. The thought swelled Ryan’s heart. She’d made an effort to captivate, despite the fact that she knew just how under her spell he was. The women he’d known before had brought out the big guns to snare him, and defaulted back to combats and boots once their affair was underway. Somehow, the fact that she’d picked out the beautiful dress and sky-high heels with him in mind warmed him deep inside.
“It’s beautiful. You’re gorgeous.” He reached across the table to squeeze her hand. “Let’s order, I’m starving.”
*****
Light reflected from the candle in its crystal holder, adding an air of intimacy into what was already a very intimate setting. Andie sipped her wine, savoring the round tannins and hint of blackberries on her tongue. Then took another mouthful of the fresh salmon fettuccine, and bit back a groan at the deliciousness.
Ryan looked fantastic in his black suit. Sure, he was gorgeous in jeans, but dressed formally with a snowy white shirt and emerald silk tie that matched his eyes…well he stopped her heart every time she glanced over, and she did,
often
.
Once she’d bought the dress and shoes for Monday, she’d been all ready to leave the small boutique, but the glint of gold had caught her eye. When, at the shop assistant’s urging, she tried it on, she just knew she had to have it. It had been so long since she’d enjoyed the simple pleasure of buying a new dress she couldn’t resist doing it twice. She’d imagined the look in his eyes when she wore it. The look that he was casting across the table at her this very moment.
For years, she’d worn sensible clothes that were practical. The short gold dress that hugged her curves could never be described as sensible. It was frivolous, flirty,
fun
. Wearing it reminded her that she wasn’t a middle-aged matron, but a twenty-something with her whole life stretching in front of her. Maybe being in Brianne’s jewel-bright home had infected her with the longing for color, or maybe it was just being with Ryan.
Whatever the reason, her heart lifted and her entire being felt as bright and golden inside as she looked outside.
“I forgot to tell you,” Ryan said. “I spoke to Brianne and asked her to visit. She’s coming on Friday and staying for the weekend.”
Andie searched his face, trying to decipher his expression. He looked sort of pleased, but also wary, as though he didn’t really want to get into a discussion about it.
She considered her response, and settled for a smile.
Ryan refilled her glass. “So, how did the appointment go?” He paused. “Or don’t you want to talk about it?”
Andie put her fork down. “Actually, it was great.” She breathed in, then out slowly. “I was sort of worried that he was going to pull a tarantula out of a box and make me pet it.” A shiver raced through her, leaving goosebumps in its wake. “But luckily, he was a lot more humane than that. To me, I mean, not the spider.”
She rubbed her elbow. “We talked about the nature of fear. About how throughout history, people have feared things. Because they had to.”
“The sensible fear of man-eating predators?”
Andie nodded. “Yes. It was all stuff I knew, really. He talked about how fear served a purpose, and was healthy. Then he talked about phobias, and how they differ from real fear.”
Ryan speared a forkful of steak, and chewed.
“He made me remember.”
Ryan stopped chewing. His eyes narrowed. “Remember what?”
“He asked me about the people I lived with, about their attitude to spiders. When I thought back to my earliest memory, it was of Gran easing me out of the bathroom, telling me that I couldn’t have a bath because there was a spider in the bathtub. She suggested we wait for half an hour ‘to see if it went away’ and when it didn’t, she popped round next door, and asked our neighbor to come over and remove it.”
Ryan blew out a low whistle. “She was pretty nervous of spiders, then.”
“Petrified. I remember watching her face as the neighbor came out of the bathroom. She stepped back as the door opened, and her face changed. She looked like she was ready to run. Then, after he left, she peered around the door as if she didn’t believe he actually released it from the window like he’d said.”
“So your fear is learned behavior?”
She’d spoken with Dr. Stern for almost an hour, and felt so much more at ease after it.
“In part. Her fear transmitted itself to me, and because she was so strong in other ways, so capable, I didn’t analyze her reaction, and identified with her so strongly that I inherited her fear too.”
Ryan swallowed a mouthful of wine, while his other hand tapped lightly on the linen tablecloth. “Makes sense.”
“Then we talked about how the fear reflex became part of my relationship with spiders…”
Ryan’s eyebrows rose. “Relationship with spiders? That’s a bit…”
Andie grinned. “I know. I can’t think of anything I’d like to have a relationship with
less
, but I swallowed that back, and went with it.”
Ryan smiled back.
“He said I needed to open up, really think about what a spider is, and how it can’t hurt me. So that I can learn to temper my response and realize that what I’m dealing with is a fear reaction that is stuck in the ‘on’ position. Because then I can learn to turn it off.”
“So.” Ryan clinked his glass against hers. “Today was good.”
“Yes. It’s going to take some work. Dr. Stern says that breaking down fears learned in childhood is hard. They scar us, and become so ingrained that we have to recognize them before we can address them. I’m half way there with that, anyway.” She grinned. “How about you—did everything go okay at the news station?”
Ryan rubbed a tanned hand through his hair. Leaned back in his chair. “Actually, better than I expected. I’ve always loved being out in the field, but the energy buzzing in the station matched the excitement of being in Bekostan pretty well. There are a lot of elements to consider in the weeks ahead. It’s important to the station that we cover all the news, not just the obvious stories. With the head of foreign news absent, the onus of making sure we don’t slip up has added an edge, made us all work harder. Everyone is very excited at the prospect of me going back to Bekostan for this interview.”
A sudden clutch of worry grabbed Andie’s insides. “I thought…Isn’t the rebel leader coming to the party? I just presumed you’d do the interview here.” Where it was safe. Where he wouldn’t be putting himself into danger, like her mother had.
“Arnat has to leave straight after the fundraiser.” Ryan’s voice softened. “We’re going to the fundraiser to get his agreement for the interview, and organize a follow up. The interview will be in Bekostan. I’ll probably fly out early next week.”
Andie’s cheeks ached with the effort of keeping her casual smile in place. Somehow, somewhere along the way, her foolish heart had chosen to disregard the fact that that should have been carved onto it. Just like her mother, Ryan’s allegiance was to another country, another life. A life that didn’t include her. In mere days, he’d be gone. Taking her heart with him.
Chapter Eleven
Back home after dinner, Andie checked her makeup in the bathroom mirror, dabbed perfume onto her pulse points, then strolled into the bedroom.
Ryan lay in bed, back against the headboard. His eyes tracked her approach. “I love that dress.” The deep murmur sent a rush of goosebumps over her skin.
She smiled. She’d given in to a totally reckless impulse in the boutique he’d like even more. The changes being with Ryan had wrought were profound. A month ago, the only underwear that filled her knicker drawer were white or black, or worse, flesh colored. She’d never even flirted with push-up bras, they’d be totally inappropriate under her school attire. It hadn’t mattered because there’d never been a man she’d been intent on seducing. Before now.
She fumbled for the zip and eased it down.
In the garden, he’d unselfconsciously stripped, leaving her breathless. Nerves bit at her stomach, but bravery kept her in place.
If he laughed
…His eyes darkened. No danger of that.
She dropped her left shoulder, feeling the slide of gold silk on her upper arm. Then did the same with her right.
His throat moved in a swallow.
The dress shimmied to the ground. She picked it up and threw it onto the chair.
Uncovered, Andie stood in gold lace push-up bra, matching high cut panties, and killer heels.
“You’re killing me,” Ryan growled.
A wave of desire and a totally feminine thrill coursed through Andie. She walked to the bed, watching his eyes widen at her approach, took his hands and held them down on the bed as she climbed up and straddled him. Femme fatale. Who would have thought it?