Authors: Susan Lyons
Another message appeared.
Still here. So, you’re a night owl too, Suzanne. It’s damn sexy, thinking of us both awake, in different cities, when the rest of the world sleeps.
Can’t stop thinking of all the things we did last weekend . . . Okay, he didn’t seem bored.
What’s your favorite memory? she typed back. I have to pick just one? he responded.
Let’s start with one.
His answer came quickly. Then I pick skinny-dipping. When you kept splashing cold water on my cock, then taking me inside your hot, hot mouth. I’ve never felt anything like that. Hot. Oh yes, she was definitely getting hot right now. Eagerly she typed back, Tell me what it felt like. And imagine I’m doing it right now. Imagine my mouth circling you. I know you have a great imagination, Jaxon.
And for the next ten minutes they relived having sex at Spanish Banks, proving they both had wonderful imaginations. Finally, warm with a postorgasmic glow, she left the computer and sank into bed, where her brain slowly regained control over her body. She’d sat waiting all night for him to e-mail. When he did, at
two
in the morning, he’d canceled their date. Then she e-mailed back and engaged in IM sex with him.
Great
IM sex, yes, but all the same, maybe she was being too available?
He must think she had nothing better to do than sit at home all night waiting for him.
* * *
Suzanne was so disgruntled with herself, she almost didn’t respond when she got Jenny’s text message the next morning. Need 2 meet. 4sum. BG @ 12.
So, the Foursome wanted to meet her at the Bread Garden, and harass her some more, did they? Why should she opt into this?
Or maybe she was being paranoid. They’d all made their opinions clear on Monday night, and invoked the agree-todisagree rule. Maybe one of the others had some problem she needed to discuss. She messaged back C U @ 12. At five to twelve, Suzanne hurried the few blocks to the deli-style restaurant. Rina, coming out of a parking lot, met up with her.
“What’s up?” Suzanne asked.
“Oh, uh, let’s get some food.” Rina waved toward a patio table where Ann and Jenny had their heads together. Suzanne chose a Thai noodle salad, Rina went for Greek salad, and they took their trays over to join the others.
“What’s going on?” Suzanne asked.
“We need to talk to you,” Ann said quietly.
“Oh no, not again. We went through this Monday night. Leave it alone, okay?”
The other three exchanged glances. Ann had cut her veggie wrap into a dozen pieces, but didn’t seem to have taken a bite. Jenny was picking at the embroidered design on her pink blouse. Rina couldn’t seem to get the knot in her scarf tied to her satisfaction.
Finally, Ann sighed, shrugged out of her charcoal suit jacket and said evenly, “We’ve done something you’re not going to like.”
On top of her Saturday-night voyeurism? “What the—”
Ann held up a hand to stop her. “After we had dinner Monday, Rina called me and we talked, then I called Jenny. We’re all concerned that you seem so bound and determined not to know anything about this man.”
Suzanne shoved her salad away. “That’s my business.”
“You said you couldn’t ask Jaxon questions, because then he’d ask them back, right?”
A horrible suspicion dawned. “You didn’t go and check him out, did you?” Then she shook her head quickly. “No, you couldn’t, you don’t have enough information.”
“It didn’t take a lot,” Ann said grimly. “Jaxon Navarre in San Francisco. That turned out to be enough.”
Suzanne gaped at her. “You did! You went behind my back. I’m . . .” Her heart was racing and she couldn’t find words. They’d betrayed her. These women—her closest friends, or so she’d thought—had betrayed her. “How could you? Damn it, I . . .” She shoved her chair back from the table. Ann reached for her hand. “Don’t go. Hear us out.”
Suzanne pulled away from her touch as Jenny said, “Suze, we thought you might like to know some stuff about him if you didn’t have to come right out and ask him.”
“Well, I
don’t!”
But that was a lie. She’d already been curious about Jaxon, and now her friends’ anxiety made her nervous. Were they just feeling guilty, or had they found out something awful?
Her heart was still skittering, but she couldn’t leave. And maybe she wasn’t feeling so betrayed and furious anymore. These women really were her friends, even if their actions were misguided.
“Suzie?” Rina said. “Are you sure you don’t want to know?”
Suzanne sighed, curiosity winning out. “Don’t tell me,” she tried to joke, “he’s something awful like an accountant.”
Ann shook her head. “Worse.”
“An ex-con?” Suzanne asked fearfully.
“No, not that bad,” Ann said. “A lawyer.”
“What?” Her first reaction was, it was too conventional a job.
Ann rested her forearms on the table and leaned forward. “I did an internet search for his name. His firm has a website and it lists all the lawyers. It’s a high-powered place called Jefferson Sparks. He’s an associate, specializing in complex litigation. Prestigious work.”
“Okay, I guess a lawyer’s not so bad.”
“Gee, thanks,” Ann said.
“Well, it’s not like you speak so highly of your colleagues,”
Suzanne pointed out.
“No. For the most part we’re a bunch of self-centered workaholics.”
“Ouch!” Jenny commented. “Then why the hell are you doing it, Annie?”
“That’s a damned good question.”
Her tone was so grim that the others all stared at her. She often joked about her career, but she’d never sounded so serious before. Suzanne remembered how often she’d seen Ann take an overloaded briefcase home, drink high-test coffee so she’d stay awake to work late, pop pills for headaches or . . . What were all those pills Ann was taking?
“Ann?” Suzanne said, “Is everything okay?”
Ann’s eyes widened. “Oh God, sorry, was I making this about me?” She shook her head briskly. “No, I’m fine, there’s nothing new. All I’m saying is, law’s a profession where it’s hard to find your balance. There are a lot of hoops to jump through if you want to succeed, and it’s harder for a woman. I’d bet it’s harder for a man of color too, though I shouldn’t assume that about Jaxon. Who knows, he may come from a family of lawyers.”
“It wouldn’t surprise me,” Suzanne said. “The way he carries himself, the way he dresses. He’s classy.”
“So, maybe he’s had the way paved for him. Maybe he doesn’t need to be so work obsessed, like I am.”
“He sure wasn’t on the weekend.” And that was all Suzanne cared about—how he was when he was with her. “So, I guess it’s good to know he has a respectable job. Now I won’t have to worry about it.”
The other three exchanged glances.
Oh-oh. “
Is
there something I should worry about?”
“Jenny?” Ann said.
“Uh . . .” Jenny took a long swallow of Coke and Suzanne sensed she was stalling, which was completely unlike her inyour-face friend.
“Get on with it,” Suzanne said.
Jenny put down her glass. “He’s married.”
“What?” Suzanne yelped.
Rina grabbed her hand. “We’re sorry, Suze, but his secretary confirmed it.”
“His secretary? You phoned his secretary and asked if he was married?” Suzanne’s head was pounding with a jumble of emotions. Jaxon had lied to her.
No, wait, there must be some mistake. She couldn’t see him as a cheat and a liar. But how could she judge? The girls were right, she barely knew him.
Jenny was shaking her head. “Give me a little credit. I’m a journalist, remember? I’ve got sneaky ways of finding information.”
“Go on.”
“I got his home number from directory assistance and called. Blocking the display, so no one could see my name or where I was calling from. Anyhow, I got a recorded message in a male voice that just repeated the number and said to leave a message. I tried a couple more times, same thing happened. Then I phoned his office and asked for his secretary. I pretended to be from Nordstrom’s in San Francisco.”
“Huh?”
“I said Mr. Navarre’s wife had made a purchase last week and wanted it delivered, but I needed to confirm the details and hadn’t been able to reach her. I said I’d left a message at her home number, but she hadn’t called back, and I remembered her mentioning that Mr. Navarre was a lawyer, so I looked him up in the phone book. Nordstrom’s is famous for customer service, so I figured the secretary might buy into a salesclerk going the extra mile.”
She fiddled with her Coke glass. “I was expecting the secretary to tell me I had the wrong Navarre, because her boss wasn’t married.”
“What did she say?” Suzanne asked with trepidation. Jenny sucked in a breath. “She said, ‘You’re calling here for Tonya?’ ”
“Tonya,” Suzanne echoed flatly. Jaxon had a wife named Tonya.
“So then I backpedaled and said I had the wrong Navarre, the woman’s first name was Mary. I apologized and asked her to forget the whole thing.”
“Tonya,” Suzanne said again. Then, “Damn him! He lied to me.”
She was dimly aware that all three of them were touching her, patting her shoulder, stroking her arm, but she felt the weirdest combination of numbness and fury.
“We’re sorry, Suze,” Ann said. “But it’s better to know, isn’t it?”
“They could be separated,” Jenny said. “I could hardly ask the secretary that, but she did sound surprised that someone was trying to reach Tonya at Jaxon’s office.”
Rina and Ann nodded too, and Suzanne found her own head going up and down in time with theirs. That had to be the explanation. He hadn’t really lied. Lots of people who were separated thought of themselves as single.
“Suzie?” Rina said. “I know you’d never get involved with a married man, but how do you feel about a guy who’s separated?”
How did she feel? So damned confused she couldn’t think straight.
“Like, if they’ve actually filed for divorce and are just waiting for it to be finalized?” Jenny said.
“It’s still infidelity,” Suzanne said slowly.
“Oh come on,” Ann said. “If a couple’s made an absolute decision to split and they’ve filed the paperwork, they still have to be faithful to each other?”
“Oh God, I don’t know,” Suzanne said, sipping iced tea and trying to think this through. “You know how I feel about divorce. People shouldn’t get married until they’re sure, and then they ought to honor their vows. But if Jaxon and Tonya have already filed for divorce . . .”
“It’s sure not like you’re some kind of homewrecker,” Rina said. “Though you’d need to be careful of the rebound effect.”
True. But . . . “We’re not dating, we’re just having sex. Does it matter if it’s rebound sex, so long as it’s great sex?” She poked her fork into her Thai salad and twirled a few noodles around it. “It’s so different for me, thinking this way. Like, if I was considering Jaxon as husband material, this would probably ‘X’
him off the list. He doesn’t seem to take marriage as seriously as I do. But as it is, why should I care if he’s been married?”
“What if he has children?” Rina asked softly. Suzanne dropped the fork back to her plate. “Oh my God!
No, he couldn’t. He couldn’t have walked away from his children. He’s not that kind of man. I’m sure of it.”
“Splitting up with your spouse doesn’t necessarily mean abandoning your kids,” Ann said. “And an unhappy marriage can be tougher on kids than a civilized divorce.”
“They’re both horrible on kids,” Suzanne said with conviction. Memories of her long-ago best friend Liz always surfaced when the girls got onto this topic. Parents damn well
owed
their children, and they should never bail on that responsibility.
“You have really high standards when it comes to marriage,”
Rina said. “I’m not saying you’re wrong, but it’s an ideal, not reality. Couples split up all the time, whether or not they have kids. Roughly half of marriages end in divorce.”
Suzanne glared at her. “If fifty percent of the men in the world beat their wives, that wouldn’t make it right.”
Rina exchanged glances with the other two. Jenny snorted. “Same old, same old. We’ve had this discussion so many times, you guys, and the result never changes. Fact is, Suzie Q’s holding out for the
Leave It to Beaver
guy.”
Suzanne stuck out her chin. “Yes, I am, and I won’t apologize for it. I
deserve
a man like that. Stable, responsible. Honorable.” The kind of man who would
never
let his child down.
Not like Liz’s father had done, back when they were teenagers. Damn it, her emotions were too close to the surface right now. She felt tears begin to rise, and fought to blink them back.
“Hey, Suze.” Rina put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. “It’s okay. We know how seriously you view marriage. We don’t mean to criticize.”
Suzanne sniffed. “Perhaps I
am
an idealist. But it’s the only way I can be. Maybe one day I’ll tell you why, but not today, okay?” She’d shared a lot of secrets with these women, but Liz’s story was just too painful.
“You never have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Ann said. “We don’t have to see eye to eye on everything.”
“Nah. Everyone just has to agree with me,” Jenny chimed in, giving a goofy grin and tapping a Pepto-Bismol-pink fingernail against her cheek, “because I’m always right.”
The others responded with giggles and snorts. Disagreement tended to be the norm, and usually Suzanne viewed their differences as stimulating and thought provoking. She just had trouble being objective when it came to her views on marriage.
“The thing that’s great about the Awesome Foursome,” Ann said, “is that we respect and care about each other. Right?”
“Right,” Jenny and Rina chorused.
A moment later, Suzanne softly added her own, “Right.”
She realized she’d pretty much forgiven her friends. The information they’d uncovered made her feel stupid and naïve that she hadn’t checked out Jaxon herself.
“Now,” Ann said, “to return to the main topic, Jaxon. Suze, you need to find out if he’s married or separated. Right?”
“Absolutely.”
Or, maybe she should just break it off now. He’d been deceptive about his marital status and canceled next weekend without an explanation.