Authors: Susan Lyons
Jax had asked to see Jefferson in hopes of getting some useful guidance. This wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind. Crap, he was being a wuss. Lawyers played hardball. If he couldn’t stand the heat, he’d never make it. Jefferson leaned forward. “You know what to do?”
“Of course.” And to hell with the fact he didn’t particularly like it.
“You’re doing good work for Jefferson Sparks.”
“Thank you.”
“In fact, I think it’s time.”
“Time for . . .” A bigger office? A raise?
“Partnership.”
“P . . .” After years of wanting this, his dumbfounded lips couldn’t form the word.
Jefferson rose, so he did too. “You’ve worked your tail off, Jax. Put in long hours, brought in clients, been loyal to Jefferson Sparks. It’s time that loyalty was rewarded.” He stuck out his hand.
Automatically, Jax took it and they shook firmly. Loyalty. Was he being bribed to do something that cut close to the line of what was ethical? Or should he take Jefferson’s words at face value?
“I’m flattered.” He managed, just barely, to speak without stuttering. “I’ve been working for this, but hadn’t expected it so soon.” And he’d rather have earned it on hard work and expertise, not loyalty.
“You’ve earned it. And will continue to earn it.” Jefferson turned toward the door, then looked back. “I’ll talk to the other partners, put something formal in writing, have it to you in the next couple of days so you can review it.”
“Fine.” He stared at the other man’s back as he walked out the door. Jefferson had made the offer on his own, without discussing it with the other partners. Spontaneously? As a result of their discussion about the Family Friend managers?
“Jaxon?” Suzanne’s voice pierced through the memories.
“Sorry, I was just replaying it.”
“Well, do it out loud, for heaven’s sake!”
Much as he might have valued her perspective, he couldn’t tell her. The meeting had been a strategy session, and to reveal what he and Jefferson had said would be a clear breach of client confidentiality. Not to mention, disloyal to his firm.
“We talked about some details of the case, discussed the appropriate strategy. Then he said I’d been doing good work and was loyal to the firm, and it was time to offer me partnership.”
“You sound so flat. Aren’t you just bubbling with excitement? Shouldn’t you be out celebrating? Oh, Jaxon, what did your mom say?”
“I haven’t told her yet.”
“Good God, what are you waiting for? Isn’t this, like, the most important thing that’s ever happened in your life?”
She sounded so thrilled for him, and she was right. There’d been other landmarks in his career—being accepted to law school, graduating, getting articles at a primo firm and then being kept on when he was called to the bar—and when they’d occurred, he’d been jumping up and down for joy.
“I guess I don’t want to spread the news until—”
“Until you see it in writing?” she broke in. “That makes sense. But how can you keep it secret? Aren’t you just dying to tell?”
Yes, and no.
Truth was, he’d already told someone else. Rick. Should’ve known better.
There he’d been, bursting with a—yeah, obnoxious—desire to tell another lawyer he’d made it.
And sure, Rick had said, “Hey, congratulations, man, you’re getting what you wanted.” But then, in the next breath, he’d said, “Guess that means you’ll be too busy to come out to b-ball any Saturday soon.”
“Guess so.” Reality was, as junior partner, there’d be a ton of pressure to prove himself.
“Too bad. Ran into one of the kids—Mike, that tall skinny guy with the tatts and shaved head?—in the courthouse this morning and he said things went okay.”
Okay? Yeah, that’d be high praise from one of those boys.
“What was he doing in the courthouse?”
“Possession charge.”
What were these kids thinking, throwing away their futures? Problem was, no one had taught them to dream, and how to take the steps to realize a dream. “You talk to him about that?”
“As much as he’d let me. Mike says a guy like me doesn’t know what it’s like. And the truth is, I don’t.”
The unspoken words hung between them. Jax did know. He’d have more credibility with the kid.
After a moment, Rick said, “So, anyhow, congrats again. We’ll break out the champagne when you come over for dinner.”
Champagne. For celebrations. Sparkly, fizzy, vibrant. Why the hell did he feel so flat?
“Jaxon?” Suzanne’s voice broke into his thoughts. “I know you must have a million things to do. I’ll let you go now.”
“No, it’s not that. I just . . . yeah, guess I have a lot on my mind. But I do want to talk to you.” Trouble was, he couldn’t figure out what he wanted to say, his mind was such a mixed-up mess.
“I’m not sure I’ll accept.” The words came out softly, but his voice didn’t waver.
“What?” she screeched. “What are you saying?” Then her voice calmed a bit. “Oh, you’re thinking of negotiating better terms? Isn’t that risky?”
“It would be. But no, that’s not it. I’m just . . . not sure I want this.”
There, he’d said it out loud.
Silence at her end. Then, “I don’t understand. I thought partnership was the next step to realizing your dream.”
“Me too.”
“So . . . ?”
“My mother pointed something out to me. About kids’
dreams. They change.”
“They . . . Huh?”
“I know, that’s not what happened for you. You wanted to be a vet and you still do, and that’s great. But other kids, like my mama said, they want to be firefighters, astronauts. Then they grow up and decide on something completely different.”
“Sure. But you’re like me. Your dream hasn’t changed.”
“Maybe it should. Maybe the price is too high.”
“The price?”
“I’d always thought that, when they offered me partnership, I’d jump for joy. But today, when Jefferson said the words, I felt stunned, more than happy. Hell, you were more excited than I was.”
“Because I thought it was what you wanted.”
“And you care about what I want. Don’t you?”
“Of course. We’re friends.”
He took a deep breath. This was why he’d called. This woman made him think, deeply, the way no one had before. Made him go beyond the superficial and figure out what he really felt.
“Is that all we are, Suzanne? Besides being lovers, I mean. Seems to me we’ve grown closer than that, even if it’s been about the oddest relationship in history. E-mail and phone calls and kinky sex. But we’ve learned a lot about each other, and you’ve made me think about who I am. What kind of person I want to be.”
“You’re a fine person. Being a partner won’t change that.”
Maybe it would. “Thanks for your confidence in me. But I’ve been putting work ahead of people. That’s hurt people I care about.”
“You’ve always had time for me, Jaxon. If I needed a shoulder to cry on, you gave it to me.”
“Yeah, well, we’re friends.” No, that was a cop-out, given how he was starting to feel about this woman. “For me, it’s more than friendship,” he admitted.
“For me too.” Her voice was shaky.
Yeah, it was tough laying your heart on the line, when both of them knew they were such different people.
“Coached basketball for a couple hours Saturday,” he heard himself saying.
“B . . . Basketball?”
She must think he’d lost it, leaping from subject to subject.
“Yeah. Inner-city type kids. This guy I know normally does it, but he was sick so I filled in.”
“That’s great. I’m sure those kids really benefited from an activity like that.”
“Yeah.” And so had he.
“I bet it’s pretty satisfying for you and you friend.”
“Uh, yeah.” Could she read his mind?
“More satisfying than practicing law?” she asked softly. Damn. “More satisfying than some files. But I’m a lawyer. That’s what I’ve trained for and I’m not giving it up.”
“No, sorry, I didn’t mean to suggest that. I was just wondering what things you find the most rewarding.”
He grinned. “Yeah, okay, guess I’d like to go help Rick out from time to time.” He’d like to, but partnership would pretty much preclude it. So where did that leave him?
“Rick? That’s your friend?”
“Guy I know from college ball and law school.”
“Sounds like a good guy.”
Her kind of guy. “He is.”
“Jaxon, what would happen if you turned down the partnership? Wouldn’t Jefferson be mad?”
Furious. “It’d pretty much end my career at Jefferson Sparks,”
he said, feeling a bit of sadness, but more like a weight was trying to lift off his shoulders. “But God, then I’d be looking for work.” For a job that’d keep paying his mom’s mortgage.
“I’m guessing you’re a pretty good lawyer. A firm would be lucky to get you.”
“Thanks.” He sighed. “Not sure where I’d look. I’ve been doing the same kind of work since I started.”
“Do I hear a ‘but’?”
Oh yeah, he was getting what he’d come to her for. Lots of painful self-examination.
“Maybe it’s not the kind of work I want to do anymore. Maybe I don’t want to work for that kind of client.”
She was quiet for a moment, then said softly, “Those basketball kids really got to you?”
Damn, but this woman knew him. “Them, my mom, Tonya, Rick. You. If you all think I’m nuts, maybe I should start listening.”
“Listen to your own heart. Find the dream you want to follow, then go for it, Jaxon.”
Just what he’d been thinking, about those b-ball kids. “You make it sound so easy.”
“You’ve done it before. The thing is, maybe your heart’s changed course, and your mind hasn’t been paying attention.”
Getting through the next day was agony for Suzanne. After she’d talked to the girls last night at Athene’s, she’d thought of pulling back. Then Jaxon had called, and he’d thrown her completely off balance. So off balance she didn’t even want to talk to her friends about it.
When she’d left home that morning, she’d picked up the piece of abalone shell that sat on her bedside table, the one he’d given her at Spanish Banks, and tucked it in her jeans pocket. For good luck?
What if he did reevaluate his life, and decide on different priorities?
What did she want him to decide?
Was it possible they were falling in love?
Suzanne moved around the clinic in a daze. At morning break, she went into the washroom and splashed cold water on her flushed face. Life had become uncertain, and frightening. How did she really feel about Jaxon? He was a great man, but he wasn’t her dad.
Well, thank heavens! No wonder she’d never envisioned a passionate marriage, if she’d planned on marrying a clone of her father.
Not that she was anywhere near ready to be thinking about marriage. She still had vet school to finish. One thing she had learned, though. Maybe sexy Suzanne and the sensible twin weren’t two completely different people. Her sister and even her mom managed to integrate their sexy sides into their day-to-day lives, so why couldn’t she?
And why was she so rigid, thinking she shouldn’t get serious about a guy yet? If Mr. Cleaver came along ahead of schedule, she’d be a fool to send him packing.
But Jaxon couldn’t be Mr. Cleaver, could he? He lived in the States. He had his mother down in San Francisco, his ex-wife, his friend Rick. Those basketball kids. She had her family, the Foursome, her friends at school and the clinic. Could two such different people ever hope to build a future?
Or were they really that different after all?
She alternated between hope and fear.
Why had he pushed her into admitting she felt more for him than friendship? Would her feelings factor into his decision? If he accepted the partnership, he’d likely have less time to see her.
Even her animal patients couldn’t distract her from wondering what Jaxon was thinking. When he would decide about the partnership. When he’d call to let her know. She was wrestling with Bly, a huge parrot, trying to get a pill down his throat, when Trish called from reception.
“What?” she called back in frustration. “I’m busy right now.”
“There’s someone here to see you.”
“They’ll have to wait. I’ve got a psychotic parrot trying to bite my finger off.”
She heard laughter. Trish’s high, ringing giggle and a deeper, darker, richer sound. It couldn’t be . . . She thrust Bly into a cage, scrubbed her hands at the sink and dashed into the reception area.
“Jaxon!”
There he stood, in a grey business suit and white shirt, a tie knotted loosely around his neck. Jaxon, the lawyer, and here she was wearing faded jeans, a Snoopy T-shirt and a lab coat dotted with cat spit, dog pee and parrot shit. Suzanne, the almostvet. Oh yeah, they were
very
different. Except, she
was
wearing a thong, and a lacy demi-bra. And he
was
smiling as if she was the most beautiful, desirable sight in the world.
She looked into his eyes and suddenly it was like the first day, on the beach on Crete. She could almost feel magic dust settle on them as they reached for each other’s hands. And then she’d ripped off that messy lab coat and they were out the door, walking down Fourth Avenue.
“What are you doing here?” Her heart was racing so fast she could hardly find words.
He handed her a sturdy plastic bag.
She peeped inside. “Champagne.” Her heart sank, but she forced a smile. “Jaxon, you accepted the partnership. Congratulations. I’m so happy for you.”
He was shaking his head, smiling. “Nope. Turned it down. I knew that would mean I had to leave the firm, so I gave notice.”
“Oh my God.” She grabbed his hand tighter. He’d lost his job, his income, his old dream, all in one day. “What are you going to do?”
“This guy I know—this friend, Rick—has his own practice. He says he’d take me on, if I promise to coach basketball from time to time.”
“That sounds great.” And it did, except where did that leave her? Would Jaxon have any time to see her?
“I’m thinking it’s time you spent some time in San Francisco,”
he said. “The weekends you came down, you wouldn’t mind if I took a couple hours out to coach ball, would you? You could shop, or even come along and watch. Rick would love to meet you.” He grinned. “And my mom will go crazy over you.”