Authors: Christy Reece
She kept her eyes on him, letting him see she wasn’t scared, that she was in the moment with him. She wanted this just as much as he did. Using his fingers, one, then two, he sank deeper to rouse her even more. Her eyes flickered closed as she became wetter, and then she began to undulate against his fingers. As much as he wanted to be inside her, he wanted Kacie’s pleasure first. Seeing her come apart would be an incredible sight.
She rode his fingers, her hips rising, twisting. She was close, right on the cusp. Just when he knew she was at the edge, a half second from letting go, her eyes went wide with shock, horror. All motion stopped, and she rolled onto her stomach with a small, keening cry.
What. The. Hell?
Kacie sobbed into her hands, hiding her face from Brennan. Oh God, she couldn’t believe she’d let that happen. Couldn’t believe she had panicked like that. What must he think of her?
“Kacie…talk to me.” A hand tentatively touched her shoulder. “Let me help you. What did I do that scared you?”
No, no, no. She couldn’t stay here and listen to this. He thought he was the one at fault, and it was all her. She was the dysfunctional, screwed-up weirdo. She was mortified…humiliated.
Unable to look at him, she quickly slid across the bed to the other side.
“Where are you going? What—”
Feeling lower than a slug, she whispered hoarsely, “I’m so sorry,” and ran from the room.
She made it to her bedroom in seconds and locked the door, because if she didn’t, he’d barge in and want to talk. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to face him again, much less talk to him. How could she have let herself get carried away like that? She hadn’t known how it would affect her, but she should have suspected.
How was she ever going to explain this to him?
The knock on the door was inevitable.
“Kacie, talk to me. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She grimaced at how very unfine her hoarse, quivering voice sounded. Clearing her throat, she tried again. “I’m fine, Brennan, really. And you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me.”
“But I—”
“Can we talk in the morning? It’s been a really long day.”
“Yeah…sure. I…” He huffed out a breath. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…” Another harsh breath. “I’m just sorry.”
Kacie heard his footsteps as he walked away and finally gave in to the tears that were bursting to be set free. Beneath the harsh sobs of a heartbroken woman, she heard the hideous words she told herself she’d never hear again:
You’ll never belong to anyone but me, my precious jewel. I’m never going to let you go.
And he had been right.
Brennan jerked on a pair of jeans and paced around his bedroom. Calling himself every vile name that’d ever been created would never alleviate the guilt of what he’d just let happen. After knowing what she’d gone through, how could he have let himself believe she was ready to be intimate with a man?
He knew about PTSD. Knew even odd, obscure things could trigger a horrific memory. After what she’d been through, it only made sense that sexual intimacy, especially the first time since her ordeal, would bring memories to the forefront.
It didn’t matter that she had assured him she was okay. It’d been his responsibility to take care of her, and he had failed miserably.
And that hadn’t been all he’d discovered. He now knew the reason she didn’t wear bikinis. There might be truth to her claims that wearing more modest suits went better with the persona she’d created for herself, but that wasn’t the biggest reason. He’d seen that reason as she’d raced out his bedroom door. A tattoo at the base of her spine. The writing had been small, but when she’d gotten to the door, the light had been on her back, and he’d read the words.
Precious Jewel
.
Why the hell had she never had it removed? He knew that tattoo removals could be painful, but hell, could it be more painful than the constant reminder of what she’d endured?
She lived with that every day. Saw it whenever she looked in the mirror.
Shaking his head at how very messed up everything was, he grabbed his cellphone and made a call he didn’t want to make. It was the right thing to do.
McCall answered on the first ring. “Sinclair, what’s up?”
There was no point in hiding behind his pride—Kacie’s emotional well-being had to come first. “I screwed up. Kacie may not want me to guard her any longer.”
“Explain.”
“We got…intimate. She freaked out—my fault.”
“Freaked out…how? Do I need to send someone over there to calm her down…be with her?”
That would probably embarrass Kacie even more. “No. I think she’s okay.” Brennan closed his eyes. But what the hell did he know?
McCall huffed out a breath, and Brennan couldn’t help the mortification that swept through him. It had been a long time since he’d been called on the carpet by an employer.
His first job with LCR—one that so far hadn’t involved much more than escorting a beautiful woman to a few events—and he’d messed it up. He was a trained professional and knew better than to become involved with the primary. It was not only unethical, it was a sure path to disaster. Having his focus on anything other than keeping Kacie safe could put her in more danger.
“Did she say she wants you to go?”
“No.” Not yet, anyway.
“Then let’s wait. I know she’s talked to Skylar and Gabe several times and had nothing but good things to say about you. And from what I’ve heard from Kelly and Ingram, she seems to trust you.”
“Yeah…until tonight.”
“Don’t beat yourself up, Sinclair.”
Before Brennan could say thanks for the surprising support, McCall added, “I’ll be doing that myself if anything happens to Kacie. Got it?”
Brennan grunted out a surprised laugh but knew the man spoke the truth. “Yeah…got it.”
“Kelly told me about the photos you were shown at her office—apparently taken by one of her employees.”
“That’s the story.”
“You have your doubts?”
“Seems too damn convenient. However, this Stewart guy does have a crush on her. That’s not something he even bothers to hide.”
“If he’s not hiding it…everyone knows about it. Yes, seems like he’d be a convenient scapegoat. What do you think about the woman who showed them to you?”
“She’s mid-sixtyish. If she’s involved…” Suddenly weary, Brennan wiped his hand down his face. “Hell, I don’t know. People can do all sorts of shit for all different kinds of reasons.”
“You got that right. We’ll dig deeper into everyone and see what we can see.”
“We’re leaving for Barbados tomorrow afternoon.”
“Will be interesting to see if things die down until she gets back.”
“Yeah. She’s not taking any of her people. Be a good test.”
“Update me when you have something.”
“Will do. And McCall, thanks for…” For not firing me or telling me what an asshole I am. “Just, thanks.”
“We’ve all been there, Sinclair.”
And with those enigmatic words, the LCR leader ended the call.
Chapter Twenty-four
Kacie braced herself for what lay outside her bedroom door. After hiding out all evening and overnight, she was sick of the four walls but mostly sick of herself. She knew for a fact that Brennan blamed himself for what happened yesterday, and none of it was his fault. Now she just needed to find the guts to apologize.
With one last breath for courage, she opened the door. The apartment was quiet, but he was still here. Not only would he never leave her alone without telling her, she could feel his presence. Brennan had such a strong personality that even when he wasn’t in view, his overall aura could still be felt.
As she made her way downstairs and into the kitchen for coffee, she rehearsed again what she would say to him. He probably thought she was a neurotic basket case. Last night she had been. Today she was something else.
“Good morning.”
She jerked around, sloshing coffee onto the counter.
“Careful.”
She’d barely registered that the hot liquid had landed on her hand and burned her skin before Brennan was holding her hand under cold water at the sink.
“Does it hurt?”
“No…it’s fine.”
“Sorry I startled you.” He took a deep breath. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you, Kacie. You know that. Right?”
Gently pulling her hand from his grasp, she turned off the water and then dried her hand on the dishtowel beside the sink. Handing him the towel, she said softly, “You haven’t hurt me, Brennan. I’m so ashamed for the way I acted last night. I—”
He held up his hand to halt her apology. “Please do not apologize to me. I should never have pushed you like that.”
“You didn’t push me. I wanted you so much.” She closed her eyes for a brief moment. “I just…I don’t know. I just panicked.”
“Which is understandable. With everything that’s going on, the last thing you need is some random guy trying to get you into bed.”
Her mouth lifted in a sideways smile. “You’re as far from ‘some random guy’ as the earth is from the sun. And you did nothing I wasn’t one hundred and fifty percent onboard with. Got that?”
He gave her a smile, but his eyes still held shadows. “Got it.”
She cleared her throat. “So…in light of all that’s going on, I thought it might be a good idea to talk to my therapist before we leave. I called her last night, and she’s kindly agreed to come by this morning.”
“I’ll stay out of your way. I just—”
“What?”
“I need you to tell me the truth about something.”
Her heart took a giant leap into her throat. Did he suspect what her real issue was? She froze, waiting for her bitter humiliation to be complete. Or was it something less excruciating but still painful? He had to have seen her back—and the tattoo. Was he going to ask why the hell she hadn’t had it removed?
“Would you rather I leave and let someone else take my place? I’m not saying I want to leave, but if it would make you more comfortable, I will.”
The question took her completely off guard and pushed her own messed-up issues aside. “Absolutely not.”
She had the sudden need to touch him, have a physical connection to him, to make her point. Placing one hand on his arm, she cupped his strong jaw in her other hand and looked directly into his eyes so he could see her sincerity. “I do not want you to leave, Brennan. Please.”
He nodded, and even though he was as hard to read as a philosophy book printed in ancient Greek, she was sure she saw a flicker of relief in his eyes.
Feeling slightly better, Kacie pulled away and said, “Dr. Crenshaw will be here in about ten minutes.”
“I’ll make myself scarce and finish packing.”
“The Talbot Company, the group that owns the resort where we’re going, is sending a car to take us to the airport. Should be here at one o’clock. We’ll be traveling in a private plane, which will be nice, but David Stallings and his girlfriend will be on the flight, too.”
“You don’t like them?”
As she envisioned Brennan’s reaction to David and his current girl of the week, she perked up. It would make for a couple of entertaining hours if nothing else. “You’ll see.”
Kacie opened the door and gave a warm greeting to Dr. Crenshaw. She’d been seeing the therapist for several years now, and thanks to her, Kacie was tremendously better. Not completely well, though, or last night would have had a very different ending.
After quickly introducing Brennan as her friend, Kacie led her therapist into her office. Though she hadn’t told Brennan her plans, she was going to explain to Dr. Crenshaw all the things that had been going on. Perhaps those things had helped trigger what had happened last night. In her heart of hearts, she knew that to be a lie, but the thought was a brief, if false, comfort.
“You’re looking lovely as ever, Kacie, but you have shadows beneath your eyes that you didn’t have last time we met.”
Perceptive as always, the well-put-together Dr. Crenshaw could detect trouble on a patient’s face as easily as Kacie could spot a shoe sale. It was a gift.
Even though Riley and Justin had talked with Dr. Crenshaw already, Kacie knew they hadn’t gone into detail with the doctor about what was going on with her. “Some really weird things have been happening.”
“Like what?”
Kacie started from the beginning, describing everything: the attack at the park, the threatening messages, the phone call with Harrington’s voice, the Twitter and text messages, the break-in at her apartment, the photograph she’d found, as well as the pictures they’d found yesterday in Stewart’s drawer.
“Well, my goodness, no wonder you have shadows. Just one of those things would cause endless hours of worry for someone. But with your history, I’m surprised you look as calm as you do.”
“Brennan has helped.”
“Tell me about him. Last time we talked, you weren’t seeing anyone. And now, if I’m not mistaken, he’s staying here?”