Chance Of A Lifetime (14 page)

“I—I might,” Daisy admitted. “But he’s so different from Peter.”

“As well he should be.” Miz Willow resumed rocking. “Iff ‘n he was too much like yore first husband, you’d be comparin’ ‘em all the time. Bryce is his own man. If you want him, you want him for who he is, not who he cain’t never be.”

Daisy nodded slowly. Peter would always be her first love, but that was the way he was frozen in her thoughts. She’d married at fifteen, been widowed a scant year later. Peter had never even seen his eighteenth year. How could she ever compare her childhood sweetheart with a strong, steady man like Bryce?

“Could you love him?” Hattie got to the heart of the matter. “If not, then nothin’ else need be considered.”

“I’m not shore.” Daisy bit her lip.
Could I spend the rest of my life with Bryce Chance?

“But yore not willing to say no,” Miz Willow observed. “There’s something in that. For what it’s worth, I say let Bryce Chance court you. He’s a strong man dedicated to the Lord. Comes from good stock, takes you to be more’n jist a pretty face, and he’s good with little Jamie.”

“I’ll sleep on it,” Daisy decided. It was all she could commit to at this point.

“You need to pray on it.” Hattie walked over and wrapped her in a hug. “Give it to God.”

Give it to God
. Hattie’s words echoed in Daisy’s mind later that night as she tried vainly to sleep.
I’ve been on my own for so long. How cain I give up somethin’ this important?

Bryce stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep.
What made me go in there and burst out with a declaration like that? I should’ve waited for a better time. No, how would I have known it was a better time? I had something to say. Best to be out with it
.

He recalled the expressions on Daisy’s face: surprise, followed by a kind of heat deep within her eyes, only to be extinguished by confusion.
But not disgust or outrage. She feels something, but neither one of us knows what it is yet. I hope that by declaring my interest, I’ve made it easier for her to trust me. What do I do now? Wait for her response?

Bryce shook his head in frustration. He’d put himself out there, and she could leave him twisting in the wind for as long as she needed to. Why did it all have to be so difficult?

Lord, I’ve prayed about my feelings for Daisy. I’ve thought long and hard about what to do. When Logan passed on the word that she might return my interest, I took it as a sign that I should go after what I wanted. What I still want. You know the desire in my heart. If it is a mistake, if this is not the path You want me to take, let Daisy tell me soon enough for me to leave before winter. I know she’s spent the past five years standing on her own, but You and I both know she doesn’t have to. Whether or not You intend for her to be my wife, I ask that You work in her heart and remind her that she’s never alone. You are always with us. In Your holy name. Amen
.

Having cast his cares upon the Lord, Bryce finally closed his eyes. Whatever the outcome of his decision tonight, he was sure he’d need to be well rested to face what lay ahead.

He awoke the next morning refreshed. After milking the cows—there were two dairy cows now in the extended barn—he headed for the cabin. He knocked lightly at the door, waiting for the go-ahead to step inside.

“Come on in.” Miz Willow’s voice came through the door, slightly muffled.

Bryce entered and set the milk on the table. Daisy stood before the stove, her back to him. It wasn’t the welcome he’d hoped for, but he’d known Daisy might refuse him. Still, he took a deep breath before greeting her.

“Good morning, Daisy.” He stepped close, lingering beside her a moment before picking up Jamie.

“Mornin’,” Daisy spoke softly, but he heard it.

“Jamie and I’ll go gather eggs. We’ll be back soon.” He left, only realizing when he got to the barn that he’d left the basket inside. He improvised, grabbing a spare bucket from the wall.

“Wun,” Jamie counted, placing the first egg carefully in the bucket. “Two.” He reached in as far as he could. “Tree!”

“That’s right!” Bryce affirmed. “Three. Now you’ve got one more. Do you remember what number that is?”

“Umm …” Jamie scrunched his face in concentration.

“How old are you, Jamie?” Bryce shifted the egg pail to hang on the arm holding the boy. He held up his left hand and splayed four fingers. “This many, right?”

“Yes.” Jamie nodded and reached out to tap the fingers. “Wun, two, tree …” He paused and looked at the last digit in consternation.

Bryce waited. If Jamie couldn’t remember, he’d admit it. Sometimes all it took was an extra minute, so no sense rushing it. Jamie was a smart kid.

“Four!” Jamie burst out the number in excitement. “Four eggs, me four.” He pointed to himself proudly.

“Exactly!” That was enough for today. The boy could count to ten, but there was no sense pushing it. As Jamie’s hands grew less steady, Bryce helped him gather the rest of the eggs.

They carried the eggs back inside. Logan and Hattie were up and moving around. Suddenly, the cabin seemed too crowded. Bryce tried to catch Daisy’s attention, but she kept busy until they sat down for breakfast. As Logan said grace, Bryce silently offered a prayer of his own.

Father, forgive me my impatience. Perhaps she needs time to think it over. I’m asking her to consider me as a husband, to decide whether she could move to California if the answer is yes. That’s a lot to expect her to answer after one night’s thought and prayer. But, Lord, I don’t want to wait. Just seeing her and not knowing if this is as close as we can ever be is tearing me up. Give me patience and forbearance, Lord. Amen
.

Daisy waited until Hattie and Miz Willow were checking their stock of yarbs and medicines for winter, then crouched down beside Jamie.

“Yore doin’ real good with yore letters, Jamie. Mama wants you to keep practicing for a while. I’ll be back in a little bit, understand?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Daisy planted a quick kiss atop his golden head and slipped out of the cabin. She’d hardly taken three steps when Miz Willow’s voice stopped her.

“C’mere and give an ole woman some of yore time,” the healer instructed as she hobbled out of the house and took a seat on the porch.

Stifling a groan, Daisy sat down next to her.

“Now I know I ain’t the person yore fixin’ to talk with,” Miz Willow began, “and I riled you the last time we spoke in private.”

Daisy sat silently, not denying her words, but refusing to let Miz Willow know how angry she’d been.

“But I seen you all mornin’ thinkin’ so hard it’s a wonder you got anythin’ done.” The old woman held up her gnarled hands. “Not that I’m sayin’ yore not a fine worker. Truth is, you’ve been a big holp ‘round here, and I should have thanked you afore now.”

“Yore kind enough to let me and my son stay in yore home.” Daisy softened. “It’s the least I cain do to see after a few chores.”

“You’ve a good heart, Daisy Thales.” Miz Willow tapped her cane on the porch. “I’d never say otherwise. But it’s yore hard head we need to talk about.” Daisy’s back stiffened at the words, but the old woman plowed on ahead. “Try as I might, I cain’t walk in yore shoes, Daisy. Bryce Chance is, as I said afore, a strong man of God, a fine provider, and a man who knows you better’n any other and wants to take care of you and yore son. I tried to wrap my mind around it, but I jist cain’t seem to find the hitch. What’re you caught on that I don’t see?”

Miz Willow’s voice had become tender, and she reached out to put an age-spotted hand atop Daisy’s. The healer was trying to understand, and maybe voicing her fears would help Daisy allay them.

“First, it came as such a surprise, I couldn’t see straight.” Daisy tried to explain. “I’ve already married and lost the only man I ever loved. I didn’t plan on loving another. Doesn’t it disrespect Peter’s memory?”

“I don’t think so.” Miz Willow shook her head. “Yore not lookin’ to replace yore childhood sweetheart, Daisy. You didn’t set out to nab a husband. God put a fine man in yore path, and it does no discredit to Peter to find a husband for yoreself and a pa for young Jamie. The Bible even talks about how young widows should remarry.

“First Timothy,
chapter 5
, talks all about honorin’ widows,” Miz Willow added. “‘I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children. …’”

“That holps a bit,” Daisy admitted, breathing a little easier. “But that’s jist part of it. I don’t know if I cain love another man as a husband, and I don’t want to encourage Bryce without cause.”

“Sounds to me like yore putting the cart afore the mule, Daisy. He’s taken a liking to you and yore boy. Yore not averse to him. He ain’t popped the question yet, only said he wants to court you. Courtin’s all ‘bout findin’ out whether or not you suit.”

“Mayhap that’s true. It’s so different from afore. Peter and I growed up together, had a friendship that deepened and turned to love. It all came so natural.” Daisy looked down at her hands. “Now it seems so forced. It’s all up in the air with so many questions and no answers, and ev’rybody around is privy to the whole thing. What if he stays, and it don’t work out? What will people think?”

“Why are you worried ‘bout what goes on in the minds of others? Fretting ‘bout yore standin’ with others ‘stead of wanting to foller God’s will for yore life is a sure sign summat’s sore wrong in yore heart and soul.” Miz Willow stood up. “Would you rather not take the path God has put before you, not open yoreself to the chance of love, for the sake of avoiding a few gossips? If so, you don’t deserve a man like Bryce Chance.” She turned to go back inside. “Think on it, Daisy. Be shore you have the right reasons behind yore decision.”

Cain’t she see that’s ‘zactly what I’m tryin’ to do? Talking with her don’t make this any easier. The only person I should be talkin’ this over with is Bryce. I don’t know what I’ll say, but we’ll have to come to some sort of decision
.

She hurried to the barn and eased the door open, checking to see if Bryce was tending to one of the animals as he did so often. Not seeing him, she made her way farther back, to the older half of the barn.

“He’s not here.” Logan’s voice made her jump.

“You gave me a fright!” Daisy put a hand over her heart.

“Didn’t mean to.” Logan put down an empty water bucket beside a full trough and leaned against a post. “But like I said, Bryce isn’t here.”

“Oh?” Daisy tried to sound nonchalant but could see from the grin on Logan’s face that she had failed abysmally.

“Yep.” Logan finally took pity on her and broke the silence. “He went up to the Trevor place. He might not be back until suppertime. Something about an underweight pup.”

“I see.”
No, I don’t! He laid all that on me last night and takes off the next morning? How am I supposed to sort out my feelings iff ‘n Bryce ain’t even around?

There it was. The answer she’d been looking for all night. Truth of the matter was, she did bear feelings for Bryce. Affection that could grow to love. But he had to be around for her to find out.
I want him to stay through the winter
. The knowledge both frightened and exhilarated her.
I’m not ready to promise anything, but I’m willing to give it a try
.

“Thanks, Logan.” She smiled at him and started to leave.

“Wait a minute.” Logan walked beside her. “Is there a message you want me to pass on?”

“Nope.” Daisy determined she’d talk to Bryce before anyone else. “I’ll see you both at supper.”

Logan looked at her as though trying to figure out what her decision would be, but Daisy didn’t so much as lift an eyebrow. As she left the barn, she thought about the difference between the two brothers. Logan used words to understand and be understood.
Bryce would’ve knowed my answer just by looking at my face
.