Change of Heart (11 page)

CHAPTER

T
HE RIDE BACK TO
L
OVES
P
ARK
was tension-filled and full of silence. Whatever Christopher had said to Whit must have gotten under his skin, but he wasn’t talking. Big surprise.

The two men had always had a complicated relationship, one she’d never really understood. Evelyn wondered why Trevor was friends with Christopher at all.

“I don’t even know what to think anymore,” Evelyn said, breaking the silence. “He’s not anything like who I thought he was.”

Trevor drew in a breath. “Maybe he’s just lost.”

“Why do you always do that?”

He looked at her. “Do what?”

“Defend him. He doesn’t deserve your loyalty.”

Trevor returned his focus to the road but said nothing.

Anger wound its way through her belly like a snake in search of a cool, dark place to hide. She’d gone to see Christopher because she needed to give their marriage one last try, but she’d left with the distinct feeling he had no intention of changing.

So what now?

Her options ranged from bad to worse. She didn’t know what she was going to do, but saying so out loud carried too much weight. Perhaps she’d been turning a blind eye all these years to avoid the very feelings that now smacked her in the face.

After a nearly painful car ride home, Evelyn curtly thanked Trevor for driving and then hid away inside the bungalow.

She took her shoes off and changed into yoga pants, a long cardigan, and a pair of slipper boots. She looked ridiculous, but she was comfortable, and in that moment she had no one to impress. Something about that fact was wonderfully liberating. She’d spent years in her own house “done up” in case someone stopped by.

The knock on the door startled her. Nobody knew she was there.

She crept toward the living room, angling for a glimpse of whoever stood on the porch. With the side of the house obstructing her view, she inched closer until she spotted Whit’s ratty red baseball hat.

She went to the door and yanked it open.

He seemed surprised. “That’s a different look for you.”

She pulled the cardigan around her. “I’m tired of dressing in those stuffy clothes.”

“’Bout time.”

She only stared. “What do you want, Whit?” She hadn’t meant for her tone to be so harsh.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and focused on the porch. “I came to apologize.”

“For what?” She knew words
 
—any words
 
—didn’t come easily to him. She watched as he avoided looking at her.

“Defending him.” Trevor ran a hand over his whiskered chin. “I want you to know I’m not on his side.”

She softened. “It’s an impossible position for you to be in, and I don’t expect you to choose me over someone you’ve known practically your whole life.”

He met her eyes. “But you were my friend too, Evie.”

The words took her off guard. She hadn’t been the recipient of a kind word from Trevor Whitney since they were in college. She decided not to point that out, though, and attempted to downplay the way it sent a warmth through her that was almost embarrassing. “Well, then you’re the only friend I’ve got.” She took a step back. “You wanna come in and watch a movie?”

He lifted his chin, and for the briefest moment she felt like he could see right through her.

Please don’t see how lonely I am.

His stoic expression didn’t change. “I wish I could, but I’ve got . . . plans.”

Evelyn took a step forward to close the gap she’d left in case he wanted to come in. “Oh, of course. Go.”

“And you’re okay?”

Evelyn’s nod felt a little too enthusiastic. “Have fun.”

He lingered for a few more seconds, then finally turned and walked off the porch. She closed the door but watched for a moment as he got into his truck and drove away, realizing that his departure set something off inside her and dragged those unshed tears to the surface all over again.

It took every ounce of strength he had, but Trevor knew spending time with Evelyn that night would be a recipe for disaster. Even if he hadn’t made a promise to himself, Chris’s words haunted him. Chris planned on winning Evelyn back, and Trevor wouldn’t get in the way. Despite all his shortcomings, Chris was her husband, and God could still fix their disaster of a marriage.

He pulled into the alley behind Barb’s Diner and parked his truck. Maggie had probably already arrived, and as tied up as his heart was, he had to at least see if their connection could become stronger.

Come to think of it, bringing Maggie to Barb’s again was kind of an insult. It wasn’t the trendiest option, but it was the first place that had come to mind when they were texting.

She sat in the rear booth, typing on her phone.

He reached the booth and stopped. “Seat taken?”

Maggie looked up and flashed a smile. “It is now.”

He slid onto the bench across from her. “Not the most original place for a date, is it?”

Her head tilted slightly and she studied his face. “Is that what this is?” They’d never defined it before.

Heat rushed to Trevor’s cheeks, and he felt like an idiot, but before he could stutter a response, she reached across the table and took his hand.

“A date, huh?” She grinned.

“Or not.”

“You’re not getting out of this one, mister. What you said just made me feel like a teenager again.” She squeezed his hand. “I’m on a date with Trevor Whitney.” She glanced at the menu.

He watched her for a minute, unsure how to respond. As if being on a date with him was some prize. And yet, if she thought so, who was he to correct her? Her reaction gave him a little ego boost
 
—and who wouldn’t appreciate that?

“I thought maybe you were still hung up on Evelyn,” she said without looking up from her menu. “What are you going to get?”

Trevor frowned. “What do you mean you thought I was ‘still hung up on Evelyn’?”

She set the menu down. “Weren’t you?”

“She’s married to one of my best friends.”

“I meant in high school.”

“Oh.” He pretended to read the menu. As if he needed a reminder of the single column of options at Barb’s.

“How’s she doing anyway?” Maggie went back to skimming her own menu, an awkwardness hanging in the air between them.

“She’s fine, I guess.” Trevor didn’t look at her.

“Papers say she’s not staying at her house anymore,” Maggie said. “Guess I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to be reminded what a jerk my husband was either.”

Trevor grimaced. “Can we talk about something else?”

Maggie’s eyes widened. “Oh, of course. Yes. I’m sorry. I ramble when I’m nervous. I know you guys are friends and everything.”

Regina Ray appeared at the end of their table, took their order, and doled out another healthy dose of flirtation, but Maggie seemed unfazed.

“You’ve got quite a way with the ladies, Mr. Whitney,” she said, a twinkle in her eye.

He waved her off. She had no idea how untrue that was.

As the evening wore on, Trevor forced himself to hold up his end of the conversation. Maggie wasn’t difficult to talk to, but his mind kept wandering back to Evelyn. There’d been a time he would’ve assumed she could take care of herself.

After witnessing her panic attack, though, he wasn’t so sure. He’d assumed those had stopped the older she got. Now he wondered if they’d ever actually gone away at all.

In a flash, they were twenty again, sitting on the back deck of the old farmhouse, the summer air unseasonably cool.

By that point, Trevor had two years of college under his belt and he’d settled on a business major with plans of moving to Chicago or New York right after graduation. He was ready to get out of Loves Park for good and see the world
 
—whatever it took to make sure he wasn’t sucked back into this black hole of a town.

Never mind that he hadn’t told his parents his plan. They still thought he was majoring in business to improve the family farm.

Evelyn had called on a Thursday, right after he’d arrived home for summer break. At the sound of her voice, all the old feelings rushed back, and before he knew it, they’d made plans to meet at the farm “like old times.”

Trevor knew they were just friends. He knew she’d invited Chris. He’d spent the last months pushing her out of his mind. But seeing her undid all the progress he’d made in an instant.

Her hair fell in messy waves past her shoulders, long and loose, driving him crazy. She smiled as she stepped onto the deck. “I’ve missed you so much, Whit.” She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. He tried not to linger too long, though the smell of her made it hard to pull away.

“Chris is running late, as usual.” She gave him a halfhearted smile.

Somehow Trevor didn’t mind Chris being late.

She joined him at the table on the deck, eyeing what he’d brought out for her
 
—a brand-new pack of cards. “What are these?”

He grinned. “Rematch.”

“You really are a glutton for punishment.” She took the cards out of the box and shuffled like a professional card dealer standing behind a Vegas casino table. She dealt and the rummy began.

They’d clocked a lot of hours of rummy waiting around for Chris the past couple of years, even the last time Trevor saw her over spring break. “Just keep her busy till I get there,” he’d told Trevor.

Trevor didn’t ask any questions and pretended his friend was perpetually tardy, but he wasn’t stupid. The truth was, Trevor liked spending time with Evie alone.

So he went along with it, knowing if she ever found out, it would break her heart.

They played in silence, and Trevor tried not to stare at her. She wrinkled her forehead when she was deep in thought and flicked the edges of the cards when she was close to winning.

“You’re lucky you get to spend your summer here,” she said absently.

“Lucky?” Did he need to give her a list of reasons to prove the contrary?

“It’s so inviting. Peaceful.”

“Have you met my father?”

She laughed. “Okay, you can relax
after
the chores.” He watched her shuffle, then reshuffle her own deck. She kept her head low, her face turned away, but he recognized that look.

“What’s wrong, Evie?”

She shook her head. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

He patiently waited until she finally met his eyes. “Things aren’t so great in my house right now.”

He didn’t know much about her home life
 
—just that her dad was a military man who liked everything in order, and she and her mom always walked on eggshells, doing whatever they needed to do to please him.

Evelyn rubbed her temples, her lower lip trembling as she fought back tears. “Today is the anniversary of my sister’s death.”

Sylvie. Evelyn had spoken of her only once or twice. She’d died in a house fire when Evelyn was only twelve, before her family moved to Loves Park. He supposed there were some things you never recovered from.

Evelyn swiped at the tears that were falling more quickly.

Trevor watched for a full horrifying minute, feeling completely helpless and unsure. Emotions weren’t his strong suit and Evelyn wasn’t his girlfriend.

But he did care about her, and what she needed most was to know she wasn’t alone.

He moved to the other side of the table and pulled her to her feet and into a strictly platonic hug.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder, letting out the pain she’d been carrying for so many years. He stood, unmoving, and said nothing, choosing not to clutter the moment with vacant thoughts or empty words but simply to let her feel the weight of her pain.

When she pulled away, her cheeks stained with tears, she wore a faraway look. “It was my fault, you know.”

“Don’t say that, Evie.”

“The firefighters came back for us and found me first. I was passed out in the hallway, but Sylvie was trapped.” Her voice shook as she spoke.

“Ev.”

“You should’ve seen the look on my father’s face when they told him Sylvie was gone. He’s hardly spoken to me since. I was never good enough for him to begin with. It was Sylvie he loved. It should’ve been me, Whit.” The words cracked as her breath became shallow, her breathing labored. She leaned forward, struggling to get a deep breath.