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When Mel arrived at the hospital the next day, she was allowed to go upstairs with a two-man crew and speak to the First Lady briefly, while preparations were being made for the President's removal. They would be leaving the hospital at ten o'clock, arriving at Los Angeles International Airport shortly before eleven, and they would take off as soon as possible after that. The President was doing well, but the First Lady was obviously extremely worried. His condition was stable, but it was difficult to predict what might happen in the air. Nonetheless, he wanted to go back to Washington, and his physicians had approved the plan.

Mel completed the interview and waited in the hallway, until forty-five minutes later when the President appeared on a stretcher. He waved his arm to the nurses and technicians lining the hall, and he smiled gamely and murmured greetings, but he still looked deathly pale, was heavily bandaged and there was an intravenous tube running into his arm. There were a fleet of Secret Servicemen surrounding the gurney, interspersed with doctors and nurses who would be returning to Washington with him. Mel fell into step at a respectful distance, and took another elevator to the lobby, where she joined up with the handful of other select reporters flying east on
Air Force One.
A separate limousine had been reserved for them, and she stepped into it with one glance back over her shoulder at Center City. She would have liked to have left a message at the desk for Peter before she left, but there was neither the opportunity nor the time, and a moment later they sped away toward the airport.

“How'd he look to you?” The reporter next to her asked briefly, checking some notes while lighting a cigarette with one hand. They were a relaxed group of pros, but nonetheless there was a faint hint of electricity and tension in the air. It had been an endless week for them all, and it would be good to get home and unwind. Most of them were returning to their home base as soon as they reached Washington, and the network had already booked a seat to New York for Mel at ten o'clock that night. She would be picked up at LaGuardia at eleven and taken home. In a way, she felt as though she were returning from another planet. But she was not at all sure she wanted to go home now, as her mind lingered on Peter's words, and his face, and his lips the night before.

“Hm?” She hadn't heard the reporter's question.

“I said how did he look?” The older reporter looked annoyed and Mel narrowed her eyes, thinking of the President as he lay on the gurney.

“Lousy. But he's alive.” And unless something drastic happened on the flight east, or he met with severe complications, it was unlikely that he would die now. He was a very lucky man, as they had all said again and again on the air. Other presidents had not been as lucky with assassination attempts as this one.

There was the usual banter between them on the way to the airport, dirty jokes, exchanged bits of gossip and old news. No one ever gave anything away, but this was not as tense a trip as the one out had been for all of them. Mel thought back to the week before, and to seeing Peter again for the first time. She wondered now when she would see him next. She couldn't imagine another opportunity presenting itself in the near future, and the realization of that depressed her.

The reporter sitting next to her glanced her way again. “You look like the last week got you down, Mel.”

“No.” She shook her head, her eyes averted. “I' m just tired, I guess.”

“Who isn't?”

And half an hour later they boarded the plane and sat in the passenger area in the rear. A sort of hospital-room arrangement had been made for the President toward the front, and none of them were allowed near it. Every hour or so, during the flight, the press secretary would join them and tell them how the President was doing, but it was an uneventful flight for them all and they reached Washington in four and a half hours and had the President settled at Walter Reed Hospital within an hour after that, and suddenly Mel realized that it was all over for her. The network's Washington correspondent had met them at the airport, and after accompanying the President to Walter Reed along with the others who had come from L.A. and glimpsing the First Lady once more, Mel stepped outside to the limousine waiting for her and went back to the airport. She had an hour left before her flight to New York, and she sat down, feeling as though she were in shock. The last week was beginning to seem like a dream and she wondered if she had imagined Peter and the time she had spent with him.

She walked slowly to a telephone booth at an adjacent gate, put a dime in the slot, and called her home collect. Jessie answered and for a moment, Mel felt tears fill her eyes, and she suddenly realized how exahusted she was.

“Hi, Jess.”

“Hi, Mom. Are you home?” She sounded like a child again as her voice filled with excitement.

“Almost, sweetheart. I'm at the Washington airport. I should be at the house by eleven thirty. God, I feel like I've been gone a year.”

“We've missed you like crazy.” She didn't even reproach her mother for not having called. She knew how impossible her schedule had been. “Are you okay?”

“Wiped out. I can't wait to get home. But don't wait up. I'm going to crawl in and pass out.” It wasn't just the fatigue that was getting to her now. A kind of depression was setting in, as she realized how far away she was from Peter. And that was foolish too. But she couldn't seem to stop the feelings anymore.

“Are you kidding?” Jess sounded outraged at her end. “We haven't seen you in a week! Of course we'll wait up. We'll carry you upstairs if we have to.”

Tears filled Mel's eyes as she smiled at the phone. “I love you, Jess.” And then, “How's Val?”

“She's okay. We've both missed you.”

“I've missed you too, sweetheart.” But something important had been happening to her in California. There was a lot she needed to sort out, or at least absorb, and the only people she wanted to see or talk to right now were the twins.

They were waiting in the living room when she got home, and they fell into her arms one by one, delighted to have her home again, and as Mel looked around, her house had never looked as good to her as it did now, or her children.

“Boy, it's good to be back, you guys!” But a tiny part of her said it wasn't. A tiny part of her said she wanted to be three thousand miles away, having dinner with Peter. But that was all behind her now and she had to forget it, at least for now.

“It must have been awful, Mom. It looked like you almost never left the hospital lobby from what we saw on the news.”

“Hardly ever except for a few hours sleep here and there …” And time spent with Peter … She looked into their eyes, almost expecting them to see something different about her. But they didn't. There was nothing to see, except what she felt deep inside, and she kept that well hidden. “Have you two been behaving all week?” Val brought her a Coca-Cola and she smiled gratefully at the voluptuous twin. “Thanks, love.” And then she grinned. “Are you in love again, young lady?”

“Not yet.” She laughed into her mother's eyes. “But I'm working on it.” Mel rolled her eyes and they sat and chatted for a long time, and it was one o'clock in the morning by the time they all went upstairs. They kissed their mother good night outside her bedroom and went up to their own floor as Mel went to unpack her bag and take a hot shower, and when she looked at the clock again, it was two o'clock in the morning … eleven o'clock on the West Coast … suddenly all that seemed to matter was where he was and what he was doing. It was like being constantly torn in two. She had a life to lead here in New York, and yet she had left a part of her three thousand miles away. It was going to be a difficult way to live, at least for now, and she still had to sort out what it all meant to her … what Peter Hallam meant to her … but, secretly, she already knew.

CHAPTER 16

The next morning, Grant called her just before noon, and woke her up, and his voice made her smile as she rolled over in bed and looked out at the brilliantly sunny June day.

“Welcome home, old girl. How was L.A.?”

“Oh, charming.” She smiled and stretched. “I just sat around by the pool and soaked up the sun.” They both laughed, knowing what a rat race she'd been in. “How've you been?”

“Busy, crazy, the usual. What about you?”

“What do you think with that insanity out there?”

“I think you must be dead on your feet.” But she didn't sound bad.

“You're right. I am dead.”

“Are you coming in today?”

“Tonight, to do the six o'clock. I don't think I'll make it in before that.”

“Good enough. I'll keep an eye out for you. I've missed you, kid. Will you have time for a drink?” Time, yes, but the inclination, no. She still wanted some time to herself to sort things out. And she didn't feel like saying anything to Grant about it yet.

“Not tonight, love. Maybe next week.”

“Okay. See you later, Mel.”

As she
got
out of bed and stretched, she thought of Grant and smiled to herself. She was lucky to have a friend like him, and just as she went into the bathroom to turn on the shower, she heard the phone ring, and wondered if he was calling her back again. Not many people called her at home at noon, and hardly anyone knew she was back from the Coast yet. They wouldn't know that until they saw her on the news that night. Mel picked up the phone with a puzzled frown, hovering naked at her desk, looking out at the garden behind the house.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mel.” He sounded faintly nervous and her heart seemed to give an enormous jerk as she heard his voice. It was Peter, and she could hear the hum of long distance. “I wasn't sure if you'd be home, and I only had a few minutes, but I thought I'd call. Did you get home all right?”

“Yes … fine …” Her words seemed to tangle on her tongue and she closed her eyes, listening to his voice.

“We took a little break between surgeries today, and I just wanted to tell you how much I miss you.” And with one short sentence, he turned her heart upside down again and she didn't answer. “Mel?”

“Yes … I was just thinking …” And then she threw all caution to the winds and sat down at her desk with a sigh. “I miss you too. You sure turn my life topsy-turvy, Doctor.”

“I do?” He sounded relieved. She did the same to him. He had barely slept the night before, but he hadn't dared to call and wake her up. He knew how exhausted she was when she left. “Do you realize how crazy this is, Peter? God knows when we'll see each other again, and here we are like two kids, having a mad crush on each other.” But she looked happy again as they talked. All she had wanted was to hear him.

He laughed at her choice of words. “Is that what this is? A crush? I wonder.”

“What do you think?” She wasn't sure what she was fishing for, and she was a little bit frightened of what she would get. She wasn't ready for declarations of passionate love from him, but he wasn't ready to give them either. She was still safe. But the worst of it was that she didn't even know if she wanted to be safe from him.

“I think that's about right. I'm in crush with you, Mel, is that how you say it?” They both laughed and Mel felt like a little girl again. He did that to her every time, and he was only nine years older than she was. “How are the girls, by the way?”

“Fine, And your troupe?”

“They'll do. Matthew was complaining last night that he never sees me. We're going to go fishing or something this weekend if I can get away. But it depends on how this next surgery goes.”

“What are you doing?”

“A triple bypass, but there shouldn't be any complications.” And with that he glanced at the clock in the little room from which he'd called. “Speaking of which, I'd better get back and scrub again. I'll be thinking of you though, Mel.”

“You'd better not. You'd better think of the patient.” But she was smiling. “Maybe I should start ending the news with ‘And good night, Peter, wherever you are.’”

“You know where I am.” His voice was so gentle it made her ache for him.

“Yeah. Three thousand miles away.” She looked sad.

“Why don't you come out for a weekend?”

“Are you crazy? I just left there.” But she loved the idea, as impossible as it was.

“That was different, you were working. Take some time off and come out for a visit.”

“Just like that?” She was amused.

“Sure. Why not?” But she suspected that it would have terrified them both if she'd done that, and she wasn't ready to take such a major step toward him.

“It may come as a shock to you, Dr. Hallam, but I have a life here, and two children.”

“And you take July and August off every year. You told me that yourself. Take the girls to Disneyland or something.”

“Why don't you come visit us at Martha's Vineyard?” They were playing a game with each other and they both knew it, but it felt good to do it.

“First, my friend, I have to do a triple bypass.” End of round.

“Good luck. And thanks for calling.”

“I'll call you later, Mel. Will you be home tonight?”

“I'll be home, between shows.”

“I'll call you.” And he did, and her heart leapt again. She had just finished dinner with the girls, and he had just gotten home from his office. And it threw her into a tizzy until she left to do the eleven o'clock show, and she told herself it was crazy. She forced her mind back to the news time and again as she delivered it, and she managed to keep her concentration until she went off the air, but when she saw Grant outside his studio she looked totally distracted.