Chaos (21 page)

Read Chaos Online

Authors: Megan Derr

Tags: #M/M romance, fantasy, Lost Gods series

Friedrich cast them a scathing look. "Strength of magic does not ensure a victory. It is only one element of him, of anyone. Greater sorcerers than anyone in this room have been felled by people with no magical strength at all. That is why I sent both of you—strength of magic, strength of sword, strength of mind. If you failed, it is because you did not properly combine and utilize all your strengths."

Karl jerked as though to hit Friedrich, but at the last moment held still. "We don't stand much chance against a man who can control fire, defy the Light of Truth, and put an entire group of men to sleep with little more than a few whispers! You did not see his barrier, or all the Sentinels he has killed. If you want him, High Seer, you will have to get him yourself."

"So you never found him again after you lost him in the woods?"

"It took us days to make it back through the woods to Oak Hill," Boris said with a tired, aggravated sigh. "By the time we got there, we learned of a caravan that had departed with a boy named David from Black Hill amongst the travelers. We also learned that the sorcerer we're hunting left a couple of days before that—alone and without naming his destination. When we caught up to the caravan, most of them were dead and the others insensible from Sentinels attacks. We helped them get to Two Mill, but there the trail went as cold as all this light-forsaken snow. I am sorry, High Seer. We have done our best, but my men needed real rest and we were out of supplies. I think our best hope is that they may eventually have to come to Unheilvol. It is rapidly becoming the only relatively safe refuge, save for maybe Gold Rock. Black Hill might have a barrier in place, but it is too small to sustain much more than it has already taken in."

Friedrich nodded and said, "You have done your best and worked against more obstacles than any of us realized you would be facing. Rest for a few days, and then we will reconvene to see if we might develop a new plan. I think you are probably correct in that they must eventually come here, but I worry about how long that will take, and if Unheilvol will last that long. We are already stretched near to breaking."

"Then we definitely should not be venturing out again," Karl said.

"I said we would discuss it in a few days," Friedrich said. "Go and rest while you can because I have no doubt we'll need you both to fight the Sentinels when we must send people into the city for supplies later. Your presence will reassure people, and we should also be conducting the ceremony to appoint Boris to High Sorcerer."

At that, Boris' anger eased slightly, replaced by his more usual smugness. Friedrich doubted he would last long in the role—and not simply because of the troubled times. The man was too arrogant, too sure of himself. He was completely disregarding what similar arrogance had cost his predecessor. "We will try to have the ceremony soon, but understand that there are bigger problems, so it may have to be delayed. You are the acting High Sorcerer, however, and may act in that capacity."

"Yes, High Seer. Thank you. Hopefully we will find that light-forsaken bastard soon and put an end to him."

"Let us hope," Friedrich murmured. "Both of you go find food and rest." When they had gone, Friedrich reluctantly approached the vision pool and stared down into it, longing for more wine.

Hiding from your problems—

I can't hide, that's the problem. I have the Lord of All Shadows looming over me, I have a country in shambles, and I am the closest thing to a leader it possesses—a leader it has never needed before because our lives were so strictly dictated by Teufel. But so many people in such close proximity strains me; I cannot be both Seer and King, and yet that is exactly what is being demanded of me. My second in command is going to overthrow me any day now. The High Sorcerer and he will kill each other before the year is out because they do not share power well, and my only refuge is a figment of my imagination who is a memory of a version of me that was destroyed nine centuries ago. I cannot go on, and the only way I can get through my days is by dulling the senses that everyone taxes."

Beloved …

Stop calling me that!
Friedrich snarled and sank to his knees, bending over the vision pool, tears of frustration and unbelievable agony striking the water as pain lashed at his head. Wine, he desperately needed more wine.

Come to me.

That won't fix the problem anymore and we both know it.

Drache said nothing, but Friedrich could feel his concern—and his love. And that just made him feel worse about everything.
I'm sorry. I know you're not the problem, or even part of it. That I have remained sane this long is because of you.

I wish you would come to me, beloved. Maybe it won't fix anything permanently, but it is still more of a rest than you will get anywhere else.

Maybe tonight, but right now I have too much to do—anymore, there is always too much to do. I'm not a leader, not like this. My purpose is to See. We need a king, a ruler. Why does Schatten not have one?

It did, once. Not one, but several. I am amazed I can tell you that much and wish I could tell you more. Schatten was always a land ruled by its clergy, and you were—
Drache broke off with a pained noise.
Suffice to say, you were very different, as you must already know, and so were several other men and women.

Friedrich sighed and rubbed at his throbbing temples.
I am weary of all these mysteries, all these shadows. When does the darkness end?

When Lord Teufel is removed from power and Lost Licht is found,
Drache replied.

Well, let us see if we can find this child of chaos and hasten that happy event.
Friedrich drew his knife and slit his palm, letting blood drip into the vision pool for a moment before he added the Essence of Moon.

He closed his eyes and gave himself once more to the power that controlled him, defined him—sometimes, he felt, to the exclusion of all else. Lost in the threads, he cast out seeking for the mysterious David, reaching him in the past where he had first encountered Karl and Boris. From there he followed the threads out:  from where he had been left in Oak Hill; to leaving with the caravan; to a long trek through the snow desperately seeking a man called
Sasha
;  and finding Sasha in a gatehouse of the Great Wall, barely alive after killing—

Surprise yanked Friedrich from the vision, and he stared in shock at the images that faded from the vision pool. "He killed a Great Sentinel.
How
in the name of Lost Licht did he
kill a Great Sentinel
?"

He wields a ring that embodies chaos and calls down the power of the gods. Whatever his motivation, it's strong. A man determined is a man unbreakable. If he is killing the Great Sentinels then we know where to find him. It may actually work to our favor; you can simply go to him—

I am not fit for such travel, though I will chance it if I must,
Friedrich replied.
But there is a vast amount of Great Wall to explore. It goes on forever, or near enough.
He worried his lower lip as he thought.
I still cannot believe he is killing them.

He is a man I would very much like to meet,
Drache said.
Hopefully we will and soon.

Friedrich snorted.
Soon is asking for a bit much, though one way or another we will obviously meet him. I need to return to that vision; I never should have lost it.
Sighing, he  performed the ceremony again and fell into his power, retrieving the threads he had dropped and following them along. He watched as Sasha and David journeyed through the relentless winter, camping in caves of snow, sleeping twined together. David's affection for Sasha ran deep, and Friedrich had enough experience to see what David clearly did not:  that Sasha's affection ran just as deep, if not deeper.  They were not in love, not yet, but it was clearly where they were headed.

Envy churned in Friedrich's gut and pain clawed at his chest. He wanted a lover like that, someone real, who he could touch and stare at every day of his life. He loved Drache, but how real a love was it when Drache did not exist and never would? He loved a figment, a shadow of
himself
, and he had no desire to explore just how twisted that made him.

Setting his selfish thoughts aside, he poured all his attention back into the vision, following the threads until he caught up with David and Sasha in the present.

 

"I don't feel right," David said as they huddled in their latest snow cave, grateful for the fire provided by Sasha's magic.

"What do you mean?" Sasha asked, frowning in concern.

David shrugged. "Like something isn't right. Sort of like when a Sentinel freezes you with fear, but not as strong. But I've never felt a Sentinel before seeing it."

"As long as we've been traveling, we're probably close to another Great Sentinel," Sasha said, expression turning grim.

For the first time, Friedrich noticed that there was an accent to his words. How had he never noticed it? Probably because most of his visions of Sasha thus far had been full of violence and seen either through Sasha's eyes or the eyes of someone who wanted to capture or kill him.

The accent was educated, smooth and clipped, nothing at all like David's longer, rougher manner of speech, which was so common to most of Schatten. Every now and then Sasha said a word oddly, as though he'd learned it from a book. That made sense, however, with his being a foreigner.
 

"How are you going to kill it?"

"Dragons," Sasha said with a sigh. "Of all the gods, the Dragons of the Three Storms are the most powerful. They rule Kundou, but in some respects, they also rule the whole world. It's exhausting, but last time I hesitated to use them and nearly died. This time, I won't be that hesitant."

Eager curiosity rose up in David, and Friedrich wanted to smile at how earnest he was. How had someone so sweet and honest survived so long in Schatten? In Friedrich's experience, such qualities were killed early in childhood. Certainly his life had left him all hard edges and cynicism. "Teufel said the other gods tried to destroy us, wanted what was good for them but bad for their children."

"That is not true," Sasha said softly. "Always, the gods have loved their children. Their decisions might have been poor, but their love was constant. The problem was that we doubted it, and Licht played upon that doubt to achieve his own ends. He paid for his mistakes, but his shadow continues his work, creating a world controlled entirely by fate."

"I wonder how different Schatten will be when it's not like that anymore," David said.

Sasha smiled faintly and reached out to brush the back of his hand along David's cheek. The caress provoked an answering smile, shy and sweet, in David. He shifted to sit closer to Sasha, arm sliding around his waist, head resting against Sasha's shoulder.

 

Feeling like an intruder, Friedrich withdrew. He stared at the pool as the vision of Sasha and David faded away, leaving him with a throbbing headache and a sharp, deep ache of longing.

It was an ache that echoed through the recesses of his mind where Drache dwelled, and Friedrich's eyes stung with the knowledge that he would
never
have the only thing he really wanted. More than to be free of fate, more than his sanity, he wanted to be able to see and hold Drache, to spend every single day with him.

Beloved, do not despair—

Why shouldn't I? Tell me, why should I not despair?

Chaos. There may yet be a chance …

To meet a figment of my mind? To meet a ghost of me? What sort of man falls in love with
himself.
I would say a man that egocentric or unstable deserves what he gets.

It's more complicated than that, beloved. If Teufel falls, something might change. Do not give up.

"I'm trying to have faith," Friedrich said aloud.

He looked up at the sound of someone approaching, their sharp, quick footsteps echoing in the enormous hall. When he saw Karl, Friedrich stifled a sigh and stood up. "Yes, Karl?"

"The watch has spied a large group of travelers and fears they will fall victim to the Sentinels before they can reach the temple. They said to see what you wanted to do before they sent out a party."

Friedrich grimaced inwardly. "I will come along. I think the other sorcerers are either still recovering, or need to be fresh for the foraging parties." He walked around the vision pool and strode past Karl, leading the way through the temple to the front where a large party was already gathered.

"It looks like a good-sized caravan, High Seer," said a priest with a spy glass pressed to one eye. "Not less than fifty in the group, I'd say, but there's so much snow that it could be twice that."

"I hope they have some supplies remaining," Friedrich said. "Do we have men willing and able to come with me to guide them through the city?"

"Yes," said a nearby sorcerer. "We've ten sorcerers who are ready and twenty other men."

Friedrich looked at him in surprise. "So many sorcerers available?"

"They've been recuperating since the initial attack, High Seer, but they're fully recovered now and ready to join the rotations."

"That makes good hearing. Get everyone ready then, and let's get down there to save them. I'm not sure where we'll put them all, but we'll figure it out once we save them."

There must be a way to drive them out of the city altogether. Surely I should know how, if no one else.

If I knew it, I would suggest it, but I think that they are here by design and so nothing we do will get rid of them until Teufel himself wants it.

Friedrich started to reply to that when someone knocked into him, sending him stumbling forward. He tripped over a boot and went crashing down several steps, landing wrong on them and slamming his head into the edge of one. His balance was still off enough that he went tumbling down the rest of the marble steps.

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