Authors: Lori Handeland
Tags: #Romance, #Fantasy, #paranormal, #Urban, #Fiction
My demon. He hated it. And since that demon resided in me . . . well, you do the math.
“I don’t know what you want from me, Sanducci. You’re pissed because I love Sawyer, but you don’t want me to love you, either.”
“I didn’t say that.” His lips twisted. “I want you to love me; I just don’t know if I can love you back.”
“Bite me,” I muttered.
He turned away, but not before I saw the haunted expression on his face. “Already did.”
There wasn’t much I could say to that. He’d bitten me; I’d bitten him. We’d both become vampires, and there was no going back.
“Hold on.” I reached out and grabbed his arm, got a jolt as soon as I did.
Images washed over me—of us as kids, teens, young adults, in bed, out of bed, under the bed. I caught a hint of our dreams—the home, the family—those things we’d never had and now, never would.
Those thoughts were replaced by the memory of me as a vampire—lying to Jimmy, seducing him, and worse. I yanked my hand free and rubbed it on my jeans.
He was right. I didn’t know if we could ever get past that. Our love was all tangled up with the guilt, the lust with the blood, the hope with the hatred, the dreams with the fear.
I stuck my hands in my pockets so I wouldn’t be tempted to touch him again. “Will you keep Faith safe?”
“Sounds like the title of a Sunday sermon.”
“Jimmy.” He was avoiding an answer as well as my gaze.
“I’m no good with kids, Lizzy.”
“She’s not a kid.”
“I’m no good with baby shape-shifters, either.”
“What’s up with you?” I asked softly. “I’ve asked you for worse things, Jimmy, than watching over a kitten-kid.”
“And I gave you every one.”
Something in his voice made me swallow hard against a sudden thickness in my throat. When I had myself under control, I murmured, “What’s one more?”
“Hasn’t he done enough?”
Summer had left Luther and Faith behind and fluttered over to horn in on our conversation.
“Yes,” I said.
She’d opened her mouth to argue, but when I agreed, she shut it again. Summer had no more idea how to handle me when I was being pleasant than I’d know how to handle her if she were.
“But I still need his help and I have to leave, preferably today.”
“He wants to keep you from leaving”—she shot Jimmy a disgusted glare—“by giving you a hard time about babysitting. Try to keep up.”
Well, duh. That made sense.
“So have a nice trip,” Summer said. “Try not to die.”
“I never knew you cared.”
“I don’t. Problem is, you die and we’ve got Doomsday—new leader of the darkness, death, destruction, crack in hell’s doorway, and so on. I’m bored.”
“Yeah, it does get old. I’ll try not to get killed and ruin your life. Getting back to the baby . . .”
“I’ll watch her.”
Actually, that worked. Summer might look like a petite, blond rodeo groupie, but she was dangerous. She also had a virtual fortress in New Mexico.
“You’ll bring her to your cottage?” I asked.
“Of course.”
“And Luther?”
“Wouldn’t leave without him.”
“What about—?”
We both turned to Jimmy. He stared back at us with no expression.
“I could knock him over the head and take him, too,” Summer mused.
Yeah, that oughta work.
“Got any gold chains?” I asked.
“Not on me.”
“I have some in the trunk of the car that you can borrow.”
“Good ones?”
“Worked on me.”
“That’ll do.”
Jimmy lifted his eyebrows. “You through?”
“You going back to New Mexico with Summer the easy way or the hard way?”
Now his eyebrows shot downward, and his fingers curled into his palms. “I’d like to see you try it.”
“I’d like to see me try it, too.” I took a step forward, spoiling for a fight. Sometimes that was the only way to feel human these days.
But Jimmy shook out the tension in his hands and held one up. “There are a lot of people—or un-people,” he conceded when I took a breath to correct him, “that are after this child and we don’t know why.”
“Do we know who?” Summer cast a glance at Luther and the kitten, but they lay on a small patch of grass watching the clouds drift by and paying no attention to us, or at least pretending not to.
“Not really,” Jimmy answered, then explained all that had happened at the motel.
“Why send humans?” Summer asked.
“That appears to be the sixty-four-thousand-dollar question,” I murmured.
“No,” Summer said slowly. “It’s pretty clever. You didn’t get a read on them. No whisper from Ruthie. No buzz. Because they’re human.” Her perfect pink lips tightened. “Brilliant.”
“Except most humans would be hamburger if they tried it.”
“If they were unprepared, as most humans are. But these weren’t,” Summer said. “We’re going to have to stay on our toes. This could be the new norm.”
“Hiring human hit men?”
“I bet they do it again.”
“Frick,” I muttered.
Summer laughed. “Frick? Since when do you watch your language?”
“Since—” I jerked a thumb at the kids.
“Oh.”
“I—uh—better go.” All of a sudden I didn’t want to, and I wasn’t sure why. Summer drove me insane; Jimmy wasn’t much better. The baby, cute as she was, made me nervous. The only one I could stomach lately was Luther, and I had to leave him behind.
I headed for the Impala. Luther hailed me before I got there, and I made a detour over the crunchy August grass toward him and Faith.
Luther stood. “They gonna watch her?”
“Summer is.” Luther nodded, as if he’d expected nothing else, then headed for the Impala.
“Whoa, big guy.” I put a hand on his arm, got a flash of lions roaring, teeth and claws flailing, blood flying, before I yanked away.
I needed to do a better job of shielding myself or I was going to blow a blood vessel one of these days. I used to be much better at it, but my mind was so full of . . . everything else, sometimes I lost my focus.
“You can’t go,” I finished.
“Like hell.” Luther started for the car again.
“I’m serious.”
He didn’t stop. “Me too.”
Faith began to bound after him, and I snatched her right out of the air with both hands. She hissed, but when I snapped, “Knock that off,” she did.
I tucked the kitten under my arm like a football and went after Luther. I caught him as he opened the passenger door and slapped my palm against it to keep it closed. “No,” I said. “I have to go alone.”
“Every Nephilim on earth is gunning for you.”
“They have been for a while now.”
“I can’t let you leave without me.” His kinky long hair fell over his face. “We’re partners. How will you know what’s coming at you and when?”
I took a breath, glanced up at the bright blue sky, then let it out. “I’ll manage.” Although I wasn’t sure how. “Besides, the new SOP appears to be sending well-informed humans. You won’t feel them coming, either.”
“Two is always better than one,” he insisted, then more quietly, “You wouldn’t let me go off alone.”
“I’m not sixteen.”
That brought his head up. His hair flew back. His eyes flared amber. “Neither am I.”
My head gave a low, painful thump. I was
so
not having this argument again. A distraction was in order.
I glanced over my shoulder conspiratorially. Jimmy was watching us, no expression on his face, but Summer was occupied digging through the rear end of the Hummer, probably searching for something that might kill me.
I turned back, lowered my voice. “I need someone I can trust, Luther.”
As his eyes widened, they slowly returned to hazel. “For what?”
“You know I can’t take Faith with me.”
His head tilted as he studied my face. “What are you planning on doing up there?”
I couldn’t help it. I glanced again at Jimmy, who lifted his eyebrows as if he’d heard. Though Luther and I had been speaking in a whisper, maybe he had. Sanducci’s ears were as supersonic as his eyes.
“Whatever I have to,” I answered, holding Jimmy’s gaze.
He knew what I’d done to raise the last ghost. Or should I say who? He also knew I might have to do the same thing again. No doubt another reason he’d been trying to stop me.
Thus far I’d only slept with two men for power. But sooner or later I’d need something that only a stranger could give. I wasn’t looking forward to it.
I forced myself to turn away from Sanducci and face Luther again. From the way the kid’s cheeks had darkened, he knew exactly what I’d meant. Good. I didn’t want to explain. Especially not to him.
“Ruthie thinks Faith would be safer with Jimmy,” I continued, “but he’s being . . .” I lifted one shoulder then lowered it. “Jimmy. And Summer—”
“Doesn’t like you.”
“Can’t say I blame her.” The feeling was oh, so mutual. “I doubt she’d hurt a baby, but—”
“You didn’t expect her to sell her soul to Satan in exchange for Sanducci’s life, either.”
“Right. If you’re there, I can do what I need to without worrying, and the quicker I go, the quicker I’ll get back. If we’re lucky I’ll find out from Sawyer not only who’s after Faith and why, but also who took the
Key of Solomon.
”
Luther nodded and stepped away from the car. “You can count on me,” he said.
I could. I trusted this kid as much as I’d once trusted Jimmy. As much as I’d still trust Jimmy—if he hadn’t gone soft on soul-selling fairies.
Luther held out his arms for Faith, and as I began to hand her over, there was a bright flash, and she was a baby again. I nearly dropped her at the unexpected increase in weight and wiggliness.
Luther snatched the child, and Faith giggled. “She’s messing with you,” he said.
I couldn’t help but smile. If I’d been a shape-shifting infant, I’d probably have messed with everyone, too. I wouldn’t have been able to help myself. Faith was growing on me—in both forms.
I headed around the rear of the Impala—a long trip, the car was a real beast—but I was distracted by outrageous kissy noises. Turning, I discovered Faith smooching out her lips and holding out her arms.
“Where did she get that?” I asked.
“Beats me.”
I studied the child for several seconds. “Have you noticed she’s maturing at the speed of . . .”
“What?” Luther asked.
“Not human, that’s for sure.”
“She isn’t.”
“I think you need to write down what she does differently every day. Weigh her, measure her. See how fast she’s growing.”
“What for?”
“I don’t know.” It wasn’t as if I was going to be able to do anything to stop Faith from becoming whatever it is she was.
“You better give her a kiss before she flips out,” Luther warned.
Faith had continued to make smoochy sounds, and the longer I ignored them, the louder and more insistent they’d become.
I wasn’t wild about kissing the kid. Her entire chin shone with spittle, and there was something that looked like dog-do on her knees. Her chubby hands were gray with dust; she had grass in her teeth. But really, what choice did I have?
I walked back, leaned over, and let her drool on me.
It wasn’t so bad.
How had Faith wormed her way into my life so damn fast? Was it because she was Sawyer’s, and Sawyer was gone?
What would happen when she was old enough to ask where her father was? What happened when she asked how he’d died?
I winced. I wasn’t going to think about that.
Instead I drove northwest for nearly an hour then stopped at a café with a parking lot full of semis. Truck drivers knew the restaurants with good food and even better coffee. They had to.
I was tired and hungry, and I needed to study the map. I wasn’t quite sure how to get to Inyan Kara from here.
I ordered coffee, orange juice, eggs, sausage, and wheat toast, then I pored over the map. I should reach the mountain in two or three hours, depending on how decent the roads were and how good the map was.
I could shape-shift and fly there. But that would leave me naked when I returned to human form. And returning was a given. No matter how special I might be, I wasn’t a talking phoenix.
While naked might be a good way to convince a man, regardless how old, of anything, I’d rather try cool, calm, rational logic first.
I stared at the map, experienced a few seconds of concern at the size of Inyan Kara. How would I find this guy?
Truth was, I’d been in this situation before and the
how
always worked itself out. Take my trip to the Badlands to find Jimmy. They were huge but within minutes of seeing them, I’d known exactly where Sanducci was. I had no doubt the location of Sani would make itself known when I needed it to be.
Worst-case scenario, once I got to the top of the mountain I would use my speed or my shape-shifting or even my psychometric talent, if I came across something the old man had touched, to find him.
I finished my food, paid the bill, made use of the large, clean facilities—there was even a shower available for customer use; the number of female truck drivers on the road had increased greatly in the past few years—then took the “go” cup of coffee I’d ordered and got back into the Impala.
The road went on and on, seeming to disappear into the flat land surrounding me, but every once in a while I could have sworn I saw the dark brush of mountains against the horizon.
I’d just slowed to take a nearly hairpin turn around a small grove of trees and what appeared to be a cemetery in the middle of nowhere when something shot into the road.
I slammed on the brakes; my coffee went flying, soaking me, the seat, the floor. I barely noticed. All my attention was riveted on the white face and terrified eyes of the young woman just inches from my bumper.
She slammed scraped and bloodied hands onto the hood. “Help me!” she screamed, then glanced over her shoulder. Blood trickled from the fang marks in her neck.
I closed my eyes for just an instant and caught the telltale buzz. When I opened them I knew even before I followed her gaze what I’d see.