Authors: Ribbon of Rain
“Never leave home without it.
I’ll go with Jude.
It’ll be a faster trip with two men paddling.”
“Don’t count on it,” Kat couldn’t resist the dig and laughed when Jude’s face turned crimson.
A disgruntled look spread over Cody’s face.
“Private joke?”
“Something like that.”
Jude stood and stretched.
“I think it’s best to wait until tomorrow to call Frank.
We might learn something tonight.
No sense in making two trips.
What time should we head out?”
“After dark.
This time of year, about nine o’clock,” Kat replied.
“It’s about eleven now.
Let’s get everything ready for the trek and try to get some shut eye.”
She glanced at Jude under her lashes.
Sleep was the last thing on her mind.
“Rabbits,” Cody said sounding disgusted.
“I brought fatigues and a side arm.
You got an extra rifle I can use?”
Kat started for the door.
“Sure do.”
She looked at Jude.
“Have you ever shot a rifle?”
Jude sighed.
“Yes, Jane, many times.
Just because I’m a greenhorn in the woods, doesn’t mean I don’t know my firearms.”
“Jane?”
Cody’s eyebrows rose.
“Forget her name already?”
Kat punched Cody’s arm.
“Lighten up, Cody.
Jane, as in G.I.
Callahan thinks it’s funny.
Let’s go inside.”
Using a screwdriver, Kat opened the false wall in the closet while the men stood behind.
“Jude, you can take my .308.”
I’m taking my bow.”
“Your bow?”
I don’t think that’s a good idea.
What if we run into some serious shit?”
“Don’t worry about Kat,” Cody bragged.
“A bow is as accurate as a rifle.
And a bow is as deadly with the added benefit of being quiet.
In Kat’s hands, it’s lethal.”
“I’m also bringing a .44 Magnum revolver with a red dot scope.”
Kat turned to Cody.
“How about you?
Got any preferences for a rifle?”
“Something military.”
“How about Colt’s version of an M-16?
Or, I have an
“Either one.”
“Jesus Christ,” Jude sputtered.
“You’ve got an arsenal in there.
“This one’s grandfathered in.
I’ve had it since I was twelve.
Besides, the ban expired this year.”
Jude shook his head.
“Three cheers for gun control.”
Kat screwed the wall back in place and shut the closet door.
“Now, we need something for you to wear, Jude.
I think there’s some of my father’s old army clothes still hanging around.
I’ll look when we go upstairs.
If not, you’ll have to wear something dark.
I’ve got face paint.
“Cody, you sleep in the cabin next to the lodge.
The door’s unlocked.
Water’s hot, so enjoy a hot shower and get some sleep.
Let’s plan to be up by seven.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Cody took the
“I’ll get the rest of my stuff in the canoe.
See you later.”
He started out the door, then turned back.
“Get some sleep, Half-Pint.”
Kat bristled at the tone of Cody’s voice.
“Mind your own business, Cody.”
*****
Kat and Jude climbed the stairs in silence.
Kat’s intuitiveness told her something was wrong, but she couldn’t zero in on what.
Davey’s death had hit her hard, and tonight she needed to be held and comforted.
Acknowledging her need was difficult.
Once they entered the loft bedroom, Jude went straight to his bed and laid down, his hands under his head.
Kat followed, cuddling up next to him.
“You want to try this bed out?”
She turned on her side and ran her fingers down his rib cage, before leaning over to kiss his neck.
“We have to talk.”
The stoic tone brought a chill into the room.
Kat ignored it.
“I can think of far better things to do.”
She nuzzled his ear.
“I’m serious, Kat.”
She rolled onto her back, no longer able to push aside the foreboding atmosphere permeating the room.
“About what?”
“You.
Me.
Us.
We shouldn’t deepen our relationship until there’s an understanding between us.”
“Have you decided that this morning was a mistake?”
She asked the question, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.
He flipped onto his side so they were face to face.
“Kat, you’ve wormed your way into my heart.
You’re important to me.
It doesn’t matter that we just met.
But I don’t want to be hurt, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’m not going to hurt you, Callahan.”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
Kat’s fears mushroomed.
“Where do you see this thing between us going?”
“I hadn’t thought about it.”
“That’s my point.”
She heard bitterness in his voice.
“Look, Callahan.
I’ve been in a horrific situation for almost a year.
I didn’t know if I even had a tomorrow.
I’ve grown accustomed to living life one day at a time.
Hearing about Davey brings it all back.”
His eyes locked with hers, and she looked into his soul.
“I understand that,” he spoke with tenderness.
“But that’s over.
You’re home, you’re alive and have a future to think about.”
He cupped her jaw, his thumb caressing her cheek.
“I need to know if I’m a part of your future.
If I am, how are we going to handle it?”
She took his hand and kissed his palm.
“Nothing’s changed.
I can’t live here at the lodge.
Can you live in
Kat squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could do the same to her ears.
She didn’t want to hear what he was saying.
But the time for honesty was now.
“No.
I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t be happy there.”
He let go of her and rolled on his back.
“Then now’s the time to stop what we’ve started, or we’ll break each other’s hearts.”
Before they broke each other’s hearts?
Too late.
Hers already had a gapping crack in it.
Her hand lay on his heart.
She found comfort in the strong, steady beat.
Without words, she slid her hand down his body until her fingers found his erection.
“Your words say one thing, but your body says another.”
Jude removed her hand.
“Did I say I didn’t want you?
I do.
More than you’ll ever know, but sex isn’t what I’m talking about.
If what we shared last night was only sex for you, then there’s justification for Cody’s anger.”
Kat lay still for a long while and listened to the silence between them.
A silence louder than a noisy party.
In her head, she knew he was right.
Why deepen a relationship that had nowhere to go?
But her heart told another story.
She wanted him more than she thought she would ever want a man.
The huge lump sitting in her chest wouldn’t be cured by an antacid.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
She couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Me, too.”
Jude whispered back, but so low she barely heard him.
“Maybe we could compromise.”
He turned his head on the pillow and met her eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you could come here whenever you have free time, and I’d come to see you on an occasional weekend.”
His hopeful look disappeared, making her wonder if she’d seen it at all.
“I want a long-term commitment, not a casual love affair.
If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll admit that’s not what you want either.”
The bed squeaked as Kat got up.
“Then I guess that’s that.”
When he didn’t respond, she padded to her own bed.
Thoughts of Davey, her parents, a love found and lost in twenty-four hours circled in her mind like a merry-go-round for a long time before sleep claimed her.
*****
Long after Kat’s breathing signaled she slept, Jude’s thoughts continued to bounce around.
Loneliness was a heavy weight in his chest.
He wanted Kat in his bed next to him.
Closing his eyes, he fantasized about showing her around the city, the two of them laughing at a new comedy in the theatre.
He imagined the delight in her eyes as she discovered things she’d never seen.
She’d learn to love Thai food the way he did.
They’d spend Sunday afternoons, lounging around his apartment watching old movies, having a glass of wine and eating popcorn.
Even Red would enjoy walks in the park.
He could chase squirrels.
Jude fell asleep with a smile on his face, his flights of fantasy coursing through his mind.
*****
“Everybody up.
It’s time to roll.”
Cody’s voice reverberated up the stairs.
Kat woke up groggy.
She felt depressed and for a moment couldn’t remember why.
Memories of Davey and her conversation with Jude came rushing back.
Jude’s bed was empty.
The bathroom door was closed.
In bare feet she went to her parents’ old room and pulled some army clothes of her father’s from a drawer.
The room where the murders occurred still made her uneasy, so she hurried back to the loft bedroom, placing the clothes on Jude’s bed.
She dressed in her fatigues and went downstairs.
“Here.”
Cody handed her the camouflage paint.
“One great thing about being black, I don’t need to use much of that shit.
Just enough to keep the shine away.”
Kat grunted.
“What’s the matter?
You don’t look too happy.”
Kat scowled at him.
“I’m fine.”
She didn’t need him to be on Jude’s ass all night.
“I’m always grumpy when I sleep during the day.
Want something to eat before we go?”
“Nope.
I operate better on an empty stomach.”
Good, because she couldn’t have managed to eat anything.
To hell with Callahan.
He deserved to go hungry.
“Has Red been outside?”
“Yep.
I let him out when I first got up.”
Red was running in circles thinking he was going with them.
“Sorry boy.
You stay here and mind the store.”
When Jude showed up, Kat stayed in the kitchen, puttering around.
“Cody, give Jude the camo paint.”
“Sure thing.”
While Jude applied the paint, Kat heard Cody talking.
“Looks like you and Kat have a lot in common.
You’re both grumpy when you sleep during the day.”
Jude didn’t bite.
“Are we ready?”
“Let’s make some ground rules here,” Kat replied, joining them.
“We stay together.
We’ll use hand signals.
Jude, if at any time you don’t understand what Cody and I are doing, follow our lead.”
She looked directly into his eyes.
“Oh, that’s right.
You want to be in charge.
You have some orders for us?”
Jude’s mouth tightened.
A twinge of guilt flickered through Kat.
She felt small and petty.
“I’m not stupid.
I’m willing to take orders from people who are experienced in this type of maneuver.”
“Good.”
Cody said.
“Let’s go see what we can find.”