Charcoal Tears (34 page)

There was a couple making out against the wall right beside where I ended up. The girl wasn’t wearing a shirt and her bra was hanging off one of her arms. The guy had one hand anchored inside her pants, and they both jumped as the door slammed against the wall.

“Holy—Aiden, what the hell, man?” The guy was zipping up his pants and the girl was trying to cover herself.

“I need a moment.” Aiden jerked his head toward the door and the guy grumbled something as he left, the girl close behind him.

Aiden shut the door after them and flicked the lock.

“I wouldn’t try getting my bra off and putting your hands down my pants.” I motioned my cup at the closed door. “I tend to zap people.”

“What do you mean?” Aiden leaned against the closed door, his hands shoved into his pockets.

I raised my hand in answer and watched as the valcrick flickered across the room and hit the fancy chandelier, exploding it and sending the room into darkness, illuminated by the brief rain of sparks that shot out of the chandelier fixture.

“Oops,” I said.

“Christ.” Aiden found me in the darkness, taking the cup from my hands and drinking what was left, probably because he knew that if he set it aside I’d just find it and start drinking again. “You’ve got the valcrick? That’s… wow… maybe you shouldn’t be drinking.” He laughed and then shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know why I’m even in here with you. You’re not going to tell me what’s wrong, are you?”

“Nope.” I shook my head.

“Figured as much.” He sighed, and there was a hesitant knock on the door. “That’s Sylvia, give me a second.”

He moved to the door and unlocked it. Sylvia slipped into the room without hesitation, somehow knowing that Aiden was on the other side, and she closed and locked the door again behind her.

“What’s going on?” she whispered. “Brown’s gone all crazy again and the Adairs are on a rampage looking for…” she seemed to notice me then, and her brows drew together. “Stephanie?”

“In the flesh.” I offered her a smile and then moved to the bed, flopping down backwards. “So do you guys all have sex together?”

Sylvia drew in a gasp, but Aiden laughed. “It has happened,” he said.

“Aid!” Sylvia thumped him on the chest and he laughed again, moving to the dresser that faced the bed, propping himself against it and pulling Sylvia into his arms.

“She’s going to have a pair of her own some day, it’s only natural that she wants to know.” His voice was low, but it carried. He was nibbling on her neck.

“I can see you,” I informed them. “You’re standing too close to the window, and the moonlight is like a peepshow spotlight right now.”

Sylvia giggled, but I was already ignoring them.

“What do you mean they’re on the rampage?” I eventually asked.

“They’re trying to find you, of course,” Sylvia replied.

“Whatever.” I leaned up and then tipped a little to the side. “Ugh, alcohol isn’t fun. I’m going to go find them. Later.”

“That’s probably a good idea!” Aiden called out after me.

I moved to the door and fumbled with the lock for a little while before I managed to pull it open. Instead of hunting down Noah or Cabe, I moved back through the house and out into the front yard. I stumbled down the driveway and headed in the direction that I assumed home was. Realistically, I knew that it would take me most of the night to reach the mountain home, but my brain didn’t seem to care. I walked for almost two hours before I gave up and sat down at a bus stop. I pulled the sketchpad out of my bag and grasped a pencil, holding it unsteadily over the surface of the paper.

I had wanted to draw a picture that would tell me that Silas and Quillan wouldn’t get hurt tonight, but I was pretty sure that it didn’t work like that. I dipped the pencil and bit down on my tongue. I pressed it to the page, and nothing happened. I started to move, but the pencil didn’t want to go anywhere. The tears started to roll instead, and as the air grew colder and my bones started to shatter, I drew a single, wobbly line.

“Show me,” I begged the page. “Show me everything.”

More droplets fell onto the paper and I realised that it was raining.

I couldn’t draw.

19

Peek-a-boo, I Found You

A car pulled up beside the bus stop and doors slammed. I heard their voices, I knew it was
them
, but I couldn’t seem to look up. They broke me. They weren’t going to form the bond, and I knew that without it, I would turn very twisted inside. The valcrick was already sparkling unhappily, zapping at my legs and almost electrocuting me with the rain. I drew another wobbly line, and as they settled on either side of me, the line straightened. I hated them for it.

I tore off the page and threw the notebook as hard as I could, and then I threw the pencil as well. I took off my boots because they were hurting my feet, and another car appeared, the lights illuminating me as I tossed my shoes. They landed a way down the road, the rain splattering them.

More doors slammed, and I knew that Silas and Quillan had arrived.

“Well, we’re all here,” I said, tossing my arms out wide. I hated that my voice broke off into a sob.

They were talking around me, saying that they couldn’t touch me because of the valcrick. They were telling me to be careful. I ignored them and shrugged off my jacket, tossing it so that it landed with a wet flap onto the road behind me. My skin was too hot now, and the valcrick was prickling uncomfortably, but I liked that it was keeping them away. I didn’t want them to touch me, to draw me in again. Quillan would use his voice on me and I would do anything he asked, and then Noah would pull every secret right from my tongue with the wonderful force of his eyes. Silas would trick me into trusting them, and then they would break me all over again.

I touched my leggings and they started to smoke, the uneasy prickling spreading over my skin. When I pulled off what was left of the leggings, my legs didn’t look injured, but my blood was boiling unhappily.

“Stay away,” I said as Silas appeared directly before me, his eyes reflecting some of the terror that he felt.

“Seraph, you need to calm down, tell us what’s happening. Please.”

I opened my mouth to curse at him, but then Noah appeared next to him, and Quillan and Cabe moved around me. They were circling me, and I couldn’t go anywhere without electrocuting one of them.

“You’re waiting until it’s too late to form the bond,” I whimpered. “It’s going to kill me. I can’t s-survive w-without it.” My teeth started to chatter too hard for me to speak properly, my insides turning cold again just as quickly as they had turned hot.

“That’s not why we’re waiting.” Quillan’s deep voice was soothing, but it broke off at the end, and when I looked at him, he was clearly terrified.

“Then
why
?” I flung the words out, my voice carrying with the force of how much they had taken from me, and how much I desperately wanted it all back.

I hadn’t realised until now, but they had been slowly stealing parts of me, slowly infusing their essence into my very being, knitting me into them and threading up the pieces of my soul in a way that tied me directly to them. If they cut the strings, I would flop over into non-existence, a puppet without a handle. Maybe they had messed up.

Maybe the bond was already formed.

“I can’t draw.” I curled up and fell down to the road, burrowing my face into my hands as the sobs took over completely. “I c-can’t…”

“Everyone get back,” Silas said. “Get off the road and stand on the grass.”

“Don’t be an idiot, Silas, you’ll kill yourself,” Quillan protested urgently.

“It’ll be an interesting way to go.” He was trying to make a joke, but one of the others growled something in response. “Get back,” he ordered them again.

I clutched my face tighter, my hands clawing into my wet hair. Why did they have to stand around and talk like I couldn’t hear them? I saw boots come into my line of vision, and my sobs quietened as a knee appeared. Someone was kneeling in front of me, and before I could warn them, they had grabbed my arms and pulled my hands away from my face.

“Christ…” Silas grunted in pain, and I immediately tried to pull myself away, but he grabbed my chin and pulled my head up, forcing my protests to stutter.

Before I even understood what was happening, his mouth was on mine. The sorrow, the pain and the world as I knew it simply fell away, until nothing existed but the fraying ends of my soul, hesitantly flirting with reconciliation under the sudden force of Silas’s ragged kiss. The uncomfortable itching of the valcrick drained from the air around us, and as soon as it did, Silas looped an arm around me and dragged me into him. My knees scraped against the gravel but the pain was only a dull feeling in the back of my head as our chests collided, one of his hands spreading from the base of my neck upwards to cradle my skull. The movement sent a shudder through my body and I felt the hairs along my arms stand on end. He pitched forward on a groan, almost bowing me back as the valcrick returned with a vengeance, though instead of stinging or itching… it fluttered. His hands slid to my back, applying pressure at the base of my spine until my thighs pressed to his and our hips met, like he couldn’t bear the space between us.

He whispered against my lips.

I knew what he wanted, and I parted my lips as his tongue drew over them. I lost myself further. My pain retreated with each touch, each sound that was drawn from the back of his throat, the strings tightened and began to bind, threading me firmly back together again and filling me with a warmth so strong that it was almost unbearable. I was burning again, but from some place deep inside this time, some place that couldn’t harm me. Silas’s fingers were digging into my skin, his grip restlessly moving from a spot high on my ribcage, to my hips, and back again, pressing tight enough that it made drawing breath difficult, and then he was standing, pulling me with him and setting me on my feet.

He drew in a deep breath and it caught on a soft curse. His eyes were molten, lighter than I had ever seen them—almost appearing a dark, velvety blue. He set his hands onto my shoulders, like he was about to push me away, but his fingers brushed over my neck and threaded into my hair, his eyes dropping back to my lips. He kissed me again, harder this time, his lips moving from my mouth to my jaw, along the rain-splashed skin of my cheek and then back to my mouth. The kiss became rough when I melted into him, but then he pulled back again, holding me slightly away from his body.

“Angel…” He sounded like he was in pain, and he averted his eyes from me.

I blinked several times as reality crashed back in around me. I stared at him, hard.

“W-what have you done?” My voice came out as a croak.

He didn’t answer, and the others approached.

“You actually did it.” Cabe’s tone held disbelief.

I looked from Silas to Cabe, and then the others. Noah seemed just as shocked as Cabe, and Quillan looked like someone had just torn his heart out and thrown it down next to my rain-sodden boots. Looking at him sent a mountain of pain right through my chest, and I grasped at my wet dress, my legs wobbling.

“Quickly, Miro,” Silas sounded angry, and he was drawing away from me. “Don’t prolong it.”

Quillan approached me just as my legs finally gave out. He caught me easily, lifting me until my feet dangled and my face was inches from his.

“Forgive me,” he pleaded, his eyes flicking over my shoulder for the barest of moments, right before he kissed me.

The warmth that had been building inside me from Silas’s kiss now exploded outward, and I was left dealing with the severe aftereffects as Quillan tore his mouth away.

“Give me a moment,” he sounded confused, and I didn’t know who he was talking to.

As soon as the flare of light died away, his mouth found mine again and the same thing happened. I thought the ground was shaking, but he was steady as he secured an arm around the middle of my back, holding me up as his free hand found its way into my wet hair.

“I hate that this feels good.” His voice shook and he pulled his mouth from mine again, his hand tightening in my hair like he was trying not to kiss me.

The smooth way in which Silas had melded my being was turning painful as Quillan uttered disjointed curses, his expression torn with agony.

I could feel the sting of my tears again, and wished that I had the strength to push him away, to end his suffering… this simply wasn’t the relationship that we had. It wasn’t the one that we wanted.

“Quill—”

He cut me off by sealing his lips to mine again, and I sagged against him as another surge of heat rocked through me, leaving me disoriented and trying to deal with the flaring light that seared in repeated memory over the backs of my eyelids. He shifted me higher and then grabbed my jaw, passing his finger over my swollen bottom lip. His eyes were fathomless when they met mine. Resigned to his fate. It broke my heart every bit as much as Silas’s kiss had set me on fire.