Charity's Warrior (52 page)

One single clap of his thunderous laughter echoed in the room while I kept my eyes fixed on Sylvester. The Panther hologram bared its teeth at John, and I wanted to thank it for its impeccable timing.

I hate that he's right!

"I know what the problem is," John continued. "You're too used to reading everyone. You know what people are going to do before they know it, but not her. It's one of the things you love about her. You can't read her for shit. The more you love her, the more you can't read her, which makes you love her more."

Fuck!

"Get used to it, JP. It's called love, and she's the real deal." With that, he walked out of my office and closed the door behind him.

Of course, everything he said was right. These months with Charity have been the best of my life, and somehow I love her more now than when we started. I cannot get enough of her. There needs to be more hours in a day so that I can spend them with her.

At this point I live to make her happy. She could not smile or laugh too much. I could never see her too much, especially undressed. Making her happy fills my heart. Making her cum fills my hunger. Charity is all I will ever need.

I understand my father more now. If he felt for my mother anything close to what I feel for Charity—I would rather be dead than without her!

Having these emotions is scary as hell for me. I'm on a completely new ground, and it's near impossible to know for sure what is real and what is fantasy. More importantly—what parts are paranoia?

I wish my father was here for advice. I could really use him right now.

Maybe it's normal, but when I'm not with her I'm a complete wreck, worried about her, worried about what she's doing. I mentioned that to John, hence his wonderful advice before leaving my office. There's more to it than that, but after John's reaction, I'm not about to tell him the rest.

I track her when we're not together. It sounds worse than it is, like I'm some stalker, but it's only to know she's safe. What I do, my group, it's dangerous. I never gave a shit about that before, but with Charity in my life I can't be so careless.

I don't know what I'd do if she got hurt because of me!

She has consumed my heart. John was right, she is the real deal. Most people never find it, but we have, and I need to protect it. Doing that might be driving me insane, though.

There are times when Charity drops off my grid, and I have no idea why. Once or twice, I wouldn't think about it, but this is more often than that. And I can't ask Lena to help, because sometimes Lena is with her when it happens. Part of me thinks they are up to something.

Fucking paranoid!

Any other time I could tell you exactly what was going on, but, honestly, I don't have a fucking clue.

It's not another man. I'm confident about that. We are way too into each other, and Lena would never be a part of something like that. Could be that I'm just too used to dealing with people that have something to hide. Maybe now I just look for it everywhere.

Sylvester suddenly looks over at me as if to tell me to grow a pair.
C'mon Man, if it was anything important, they would hide it better— especially Lena!

They are at Silk putting cucumbers on their eyes and smearing avocado all over their bodies, or some shit like that. They're not planning a corporate takeover for Christ's sake!

It shouldn't be about what they're doing. It's about protecting them. It's about who can see them when I can't!

And that sends a chill to my core. In no uncertain terms, I would throw myself in front of a bullet save her, but you have to be there when the gun is fired for that to work.

This business with Scott Lewis, it's going to get heated, and every one of us will be at some risk. The moment Senator Wilkins "resigned," the governor was forced to apoint a temporary replacement. Of course that was Scott Lewis, the result of the right pressure in the right places. Since this was temporary, it wasn't as hard as it could have been. With the normal election term still almost two years away, we have a much better opportunity. If it were sooner, the temporary replacement would sit until the general election, and we would be facing the normal election process. Because it wasn't close, it has to be decided by special election—much easier to fix.

It's going to happen in three days, and it's going to happen our way, but not everyone is happy about it. One of the members in this particular group of clients was approached about starting a new group of controllers looking to get behind a different candidate. Of course, they have no idea he's already affiliated, and that he came straight to the group with the information. We know about them, but they don't know about us, at least not who we are—not yet.

I'm not worried, not for the special election. They don't have the time to form and unravel everything in place. They must know that, though, so why are they still forming?

They're thinking long term, and we need to start doing the same.

A fight is coming our way. We need to start getting ready for it, and that means Charity and Lena can't be just dropping off radar whenever they want to.

In my mind, I easily remember watching Charity's ex sitting in the driver's seat of his car, his face lit up white in our headlights as he decided his next move. Charity was right behind him, defenseless. I could see her, we all could.

His eyes told me exactly what he was going to do. There was nothing I could do to stop him—no time. It was less than a second, but it took an eternity, still does when I think about it.

It was his smile that told me. Then his right arm jerked. There was muzzle flare and smoke, and a hole in the sheet wrapped tightly around Charity while the gunshot was still echoing into the empty night.

Christ! The look in her eyes!

Something happened that I never told anyone about, not then, and still not now. It what was instinctive. I hadn't even realized I'd done it until I was making my decision.

In that moment, I had thought I lost her, that he'd killed her, my love, right in front of me. I quickly realized she might survive this, and I wanted to see him die if she didn't—but that was not before first deciding that I couldn't live without her and finding that I already had my gun shoved under my own chin.

Everyone was firing already, they knew what to do. No one saw how close to killing myself I had come.

And that's why I have to keep her safe now. Her life controls both of our fates.

I have to watch her, everything she does, because I adore her. Without Charity, there would be nothing left in this life to adore. She's all I have and all I want, and I have to protect her.

Even if it’s from myself!