Charlene Sands (17 page)

Nothing.

She tried again.

Nothing.

The wolf made ready to leap the fence, preparing to attack. Jenna cried out and pulled the trigger a third time. Nothing.

The wolf jumped and Jenna stumbled back.

A shot rang out.

Jenna witnessed the animal’s forward progression stop in midair. The wolf’s piercing yelp of pain echoed in the night. Lifelessly, he fell to the ground.

All of the life went out of her as well. She fell onto the hard cold dirt, shaking.

“Jenna!” Cash’s voice, filled with anger, boomed in her ears, causing her to nearly jump out of her skin. He lifted her up hurriedly and carried her into the house.

C
ash placed Jenna, none too gently, on the sofa in the parlor. Noting her body trembling, he tossed her a quilt. “Cover up,” he commanded, then began to pace in front of her.

“Of all the damn fool things to do, Jenna. Don’t you know better than to argue with a wolf?”

The question required no answer. He didn’t look at her, didn’t want to see the stark fear on her face or admit to himself if he’d been one minute later, Jenna would have met with a horrendous death.

Cash paced some more, splaying his hands through his hair, his mind rushing with images of Jenna on the ground, the wolf ready to attack.

One minute later,
and he would have lost her.

“You don’t go running into the night with an unloaded gun.”

He continued to pace, staring straight ahead, shaking his head, attempting without much success to tamp down his anger.

“Why didn’t you check the gun, Jenna? Why? Tell me why?”

Her silence mystified him. Jenna usually spoke her mind. When he turned to her, the look of sheer, unbridled terror on her face did him in. Tears spilled down her cheeks, streaming fast and silently. Her whole body shook, shoulders, arms and legs.

Cash let out a quiet curse. “Wait here,” he said, taking his leave. Moments later he entered the parlor, carrying a bottle of whiskey and a glass. He sat down next to her and poured the amber liquid and handed her the glass. “Drink this.” She gulped it down then sputtered. “Whoa. Not so fast. Sip it slowly, sugar.”

“I d-don’t w-want to.” She shoved it away, pushing at his hand.

He pressed it to her lips one more time. “Sip it slowly. You’ll see. It will calm you.”

Jenna stared into his eyes, hers swollen and reddened from tears.

“Trust me,” he said, asking her to do something she’d never done before. After all this time on the farm, he hadn’t gained Jenna’s trust.

Her gaze on him unwavering, she took the offered glass and sipped slowly. He watched the delicate muscles on her throat work as the liquor flowed down smoothly. “Better?”

Jenna nodded, handing him back the glass.

He leaned back and nudged Jenna into his arms.
More than anything else, she needed his comfort. She needed to be held and reassured. But, Cash admitted, he, too, needed reassuring. Holding her in his arms meant she was alive and safe. Thinking of what might have happened, of how close she’d come to losing her life, had Cash covering them both with the quilt and tightening his hold. He held her that way for a long time.

Finally, she said, “I t-thought the gun was loaded.”

“No matter. You shouldn’t have faced down the wolf.”

“I didn’t know there was a wolf out there. I heard noises.”

“It’s not for you to go into the night, investigating.”

“Yes,” Jenna said with sadness, “it is my responsibility. This is my farm now. The animals—”

“Wouldn’t survive with you dead. You shouldn’t take such chances with your life.”

“The gambler advising me not to take a chance?”

“That’s different, Jenna. No one would expect you to confront a wolf. Your life is worth more than that.”

“My life doesn’t seem to be worth all that much,” she said.

Cash had never heard her speak with such disillusionment before. Her admission rattled his bones. “Your life is worth
everything.
”

Jenna snuggled deeper in, seeking his warmth and comfort, it seemed. “Thank you for saying that and for saving my life. You think we’re even now?”

“I still owe you.” He said this without explanation, but he meant it with his whole heart. Jenna had saved his life, but she’d also given him more in the short time he’d known her than she could ever imagine. Cash stroked her head, letting his fingers trail through the softness of her long blond hair. “I faced a wolf once,” he confided.

Jenna lifted her head up slightly, to look into his eyes. He nodded. “I did. I was just a boy.”

“Tell me.”

Cash would offer up the story to Jenna, giving to her a part of himself, a part of his life that he’d never shared with another person. Not only did Cash find the experience cleansing but also he found it more intimate and heartwarming than any sexual favor Jenna might grant him. In Jenna, he’d found a woman he’d wanted in his bed, yes, but he’d also found a friend, someone in whom he could confide and trust with his most personal experiences.

And after he shared his wolf story, Jenna whispered in a voice filled with awe. “You’ve had the most amazing adventures.”

He chuckled and the movement tossed her off his chest. He reclaimed her quickly, pressing her head back to where it had been. Where he wanted
her. She snuggled in. “Adventures? Sugar, it’s called survival.”

“I know, but I mean, you have so many stories. Tell me more, Cash. Tell me all about your childhood.”

Cash let out a breath. He had dead animals outside to tend as well as other chores to do, but nothing on heaven or earth could have torn him away from Jenna at the moment. He adjusted his hold on her and began sharing stories of his youth. And in the telling he found the only real healing of his childhood, Cash had ever known.

The next weeks flew by for Jenna as preparations were made for Antonio and Marcie’s wedding. Elias Bender had finally come around, agreeing to have the marriage take place on his farm. It was to be the biggest shindig the town of Goodwill had ever seen.

Cash and Ben spent most of their free time with Antonio, helping him build a small cabin on a plot of land not too far from Ben’s house. Jenna saw little of any of them. Her time was spent doing daily chores: milking Larabeth, mucking out the barn, collecting eggs from the henhouse and slopping the hogs.

On occasion, she’d make up a lunchtime meal and deliver her baskets to the men working on Antonio’s house. They ate heartily, but their minds were on their work and Jenna didn’t want to intrude.
It warmed her heart to see Cash getting along so well with Ben. The two men seemed to have struck up a friendship and Antonio just plain thought the sun rose and set on Cash’s shoulders.

Jenna understood her young friend’s fascination with Cash. What she didn’t fathom was her own. She’d convinced herself that Cash Callahan, gambler, wasn’t worth the time of day. She’d thought him a callous, calculating man who had used her in a terrible way. He ruined her life. He took away her future. At one time, she’d hated him.

But no longer.

Her feelings for him ran deep, so much so that the stirrings in her heart frightened her. She’d tried to deny them, tried to will them away, yet feelings so strong weren’t easy to ignore.

But Jenna had to try. So rather than think about all that Cash had been through in his life, all the heart-wrenching stories he’d confided in her in the name of survival, she’d set her concentration on the wedding. The excitement had become contagious. Jenna poured her efforts into helping Rosalinda with some surprises for Antonio and his new wife. Today after completing her chores, she’d spent time helping Rosalinda make a mattress for the newlyweds. Once the fabric was sewn, they took dried corn husks, cut them up into smaller pieces, then soaked them. When they had dried and were a bit softer she and Rosalinda stuffed the mattress.
“A good strong bed and two loving souls is what makes a marriage,” Rosalinda had said.

Alone in her house now, Jenna sat quietly on her sofa. Years ago, Rosalinda had taught her how to crochet, but Jenna had always been too busy to simply sit deep in thought and work the yarn. She hadn’t known if she even remembered how, but as she hooked the yarn and made stitch after stitch, the patterns that she’d learned had come back to her.

“You think Antonio and Marcie will like my present?” she asked Button. Her lazy slumbering cat didn’t budge on the sofa. “You think it will turn out pretty enough to put on their table?”

Jenna heard the back door open. Her heart sped up at the sound of Cash’s boots hitting the floor. “Jenna?”

“I’m in the parlor.”

He entered wearing a big smile. “It’s all done. We’ve finished the house. Antonio is bringing Marcie out to see it tomorrow.”

Jenna set down her crochet needle. “That’s wonderful. She’ll be surprised.”

“Yeah, and we’ve finished up just in time. The wedding’s day after tomorrow.”

“I know,” Jenna said, “I’m hoping to have this tablecloth finished. It’s a gift for their wedding.”

Cash looked it over. “It’s pretty. Looks like it’s almost done.”

“Not really. I’ve got to work on it most of tomorrow, I’m afraid.”

“You do that. Don’t worry about the chores. I’ll get to Larabeth in the morning and take care of everything.”

Jenna tilted her head and cast him a smile. “You know, I think Larabeth prefers you over me now.”

Cash chuckled. “I knew she’d come around. Most females do, once they get to know me.” Cash winked, his charming grin entirely too disarming.

Jenna picked up her needle again and began working the yarn. “Female
cows,
you mean.”

“Ah Jenna, that ain’t nice,” he replied with amusement.

Jenna stifled a chuckle of her own. “Just speaking the truth, Mr. Callahan, just speaking the truth.”

“Well, tarnation woman, don’t be so doggone honest.”

Jenna put her head down, smiling. Heavens, if Cash only knew that she wasn’t being honest at all. She had gotten to know him, and she’d certainly come around. Actually, she’d come full circle. Where at one point she couldn’t abide having him live here on the farm, now Jenna couldn’t imagine her life without him. She didn’t want to think about the time he’d have to leave the farm. She couldn’t envision saying goodbye to him. He’d become so much a part of Twin Oaks. He’d become so much a part of
her
as well.

Finally, yet with great reluctance, Jenna had come to the realization that she had fallen in love with Cash.

She had fallen in love with a gambler.

I
want to see it on you. Just once.

Cash’s sentiments were never far from her mind. Jenna sat on her bed, gazing up at the beautiful golden-yellow dress adorning her mirror. She had come to accept this gift from Cash slowly, day by day, in increments of which she had no real conscious recollection. She only knew that today, the day of Antonio’s wedding, she would wear the dress proudly, without qualm or trepidation.

Jenna combed her hair to a luminous shine, leaving it down in waves, the ribbons Cash had given her on her birthday helping to keep the tresses in place. She put on her petticoats then stepped into the dress, taking time to do up each tiny pearl button. When she was completely dressed, Jenna approached the mirror.

“Oh, my,” she whispered on a sigh. Surely, the reflection staring back at her wasn’t Jenna Duncan, farm girl. Jenna continued to stare, her gaze roaming
over each nuance of a dress that fit her to perfection. She lifted her arms and noted how the lace on the sleeves glided like a soft caress over her fingers. The bodice fit snugly, exposing a great deal of her skin, then flared out at the hips in a full skirt. Jenna perused her image in the mirror. She’d never owned a dress like this before. It was stunning, a work of art and being so made Jenna feel truly feminine.

“Stop your gawking, silly girl,” Jenna said to her reflection. She grabbed the mantilla Rosalinda had given her. “Cash is waiting.”

Jenna made her way to the top of the stairs when she heard Cash call out from below, “We’re going to be late, Jen—”

Cash stood at the base of the stairs and when he gazed up, he took a step back, whipping the hat from his head. She saw him swallow and lock his gaze onto hers as she walked down the stairs. A flash of heat coursed through her body, causing commotion to her insides. Cash hadn’t taken his eyes off of her, and the appreciation she witnessed in them turned up the heat considerably.

When she reached the last step, Cash was waiting there. He took her hands, his gaze flowing over her body like soft silk. “You look more than beautiful, sugar. The dress, well… I didn’t forget anything about you.”

The reminder of their time together as man and wife brought heat to her cheeks. Jenna drew in her
bottom lip and took a deep breath. The movement brought Cash’s attention to her chest and she became increasingly aware of the amount of skin the dress exposed. “Thank you,” she said softly, nearly tongue-tied. “You look nice, too.”

Nice? Cash looked positively handsome today, wearing the same suit he’d worn when he’d come back to the farm. A pressed white shirt contrasted sharply with the dark and dramatic cut of his suit and fancy vest. Even his boots were shined, almost as brightly as his eyes which gleamed deep blue and were constantly on her.

He came closer, his breath touching her throat and spoke quietly near her ear. “Thank you for wearing it,” he said, his words spoken with sincerity.

Jenna took a swallow, but said nothing more.

“We’d better go,” Cash announced and together, hand in hand, they headed for the wagon outside.

Cash was a dead man.

He held a losing hand. There was no way out. He couldn’t fold yet he didn’t hold the cards to win, he realized as he stood by Jenna’s side as Antonio and Marcie spoke their vows. The wedding, held outside in a garden setting on Bender’s farm, had more guests than the entire population of the town of Goodwill. Ranchers, farmers, shopkeepers, had all been invited. Bender was an influential
man, having the biggest, most prosperous farm in the territory.

Painfully aware of the interest Jenna was attracting from the young males in attendance, Cash spent most of his time casting stern looks their way. He sidled up as close to Jenna as he could, yet he knew he was doing her a disservice. The honorable thing to do would be to leave Jenna’s side. He’d taken away her future, perhaps now, he could give it back to her. With him out of the picture, Jenna could meet someone here, maybe even a farmer, who shared the same interests, had the same dreams as her.

But as his gaze flowed over the men eyeing her, Cash didn’t know if he was that noble a man. To give Jenna up was a tremendous sacrifice to make, even though ultimately it was for her own good. He couldn’t bear to let her go, yet he knew he couldn’t have her. The day would come when he would leave.

And as her flowery scent rose up to tease his nostrils and stir his blood, Cash reminded himself once more that he held a losing hand.

Antonio stood facing Marcie, their hands entwined. Within minutes, the preacher concluded the ceremony by announcing that Antonio could kiss his bride. Jenna applauded as enthusiastically as the others then turned to him, her face glowing with joy. “Oh, it was such a lovely ceremony. I think they’ll be very happy.”

Peering down at her sweet expression, Cash could only nod in agreement. This was what Jenna wanted, a marriage, someone to love and a family one day. She deserved it, dammit. And if Cash were a different kind of man, he’d give it to her. Guilt assailed him, punching him hard in the gut. He had no right to Jenna. He had no right standing in the way of her happiness. “I’ll be back later,” he said, leaving her standing there alone.

Hell, she wouldn’t be alone for long.

Cash wandered off, taking a look at Bender’s enormous barn, his array of animals and his stables. He hiked quite a distance to where the fields began. The walk did him good, he mused. It helped to clear his head, which, oftentimes, got too dang dumbfounded when Jenna was around.

Less than an hour later, he returned to the gardens, watching the festivities as food and drink were offered up in abundance. He spotted Jenna amid some older ladies. Three young men hovered by her side, seeming to entertain them with their tales. Cash exhaled slowly, turning away. When he spotted Ben leaning on his cane by the food table, Cash headed over there. “Congratulations,” he said, offering Ben his hand. “Antonio and Marcie make a real fine couple. I wish them well.”

They shook hands, Ben’s face beaming. “Thank you, thank you. It was quite a ceremony. And how about this feast? Old man Bender sure knows how to throw a party.”

“Yeah, I suppose he does.”

“Where’s Jenna?” Ben asked. “Rosie said she’s been asking for you. I thought by now you two would have found each other.”

Cash shrugged and gestured toward the veranda. The other ladies had vanished, yet those three men still held Jenna’s attention. “She’s busy.”

Ben peered over in that direction then slanted him a look. Cash knew that look. He’d come to know Ben quite well in the months since he’d been at Twin Oaks. “She’s been asking for
you.
”

“I’m not available.”

“
Making
yourself not available is more like it.”

Cash shrugged. “Maybe.”

Ben shook his head. “Don’t be a fool. How long do you think it’ll take before one of those men over there is going to ask for Jenna? How long, Cash? Look at her. She’s sweet and beautiful. That gal’s got a heart of pure gold. They’re just discovering something you’ve known all along.”

“I’m hoping she likes one of them,” Cash announced, his heart pounding against his chest. He was flat-out lying, to Ben and to himself.

Ben laughed. “You ain’t fooling me. You want her for yourself.”

Cash shook his head adamantly. “I’m not—”

“What? A farmer? If you’re not a farmer, then I’ll eat my boots, Cash Callahan. I ain’t seen anybody work as hard, or take to the farm as quick or get on with the animals so well, as you. In your
head you’re not a farmer, but in your heart, maybe you are. Now, you gonna let them men take Jenna for a whirl around the dance floor? Go on,” Ben urged with a hand to Cash’s shoulder, “ask her to dance. The music’s just starting.”

“Don’t expect much,” Cash said, holding Jenna’s hands as they waited for the music to begin. “I’m not such a good dancer, but I think I can manage not to crush your feet.”

Jenna chuckled and with a tilt of her head, confessed, “I’m hoping not to crush yours, either, Cash. I haven’t had much chance to go dancing.”

He cast her a quick smile. “Well, then, we should do all right.”

A small band of musicians began playing and Cash seemed to settle into a tempo that she could follow. They moved about the dance floor with surprising ease.

“I didn’t see you after the ceremony. Where did you go?” Jenna asked, her gaze fixed on his. She’d been curious, dying to ask why he’d left her side as soon as he possibly could.

Cash pursed his lips and didn’t reply right away. When he apparently made up his mind to answer, he asked, “You want the truth?”

Jenna blinked. Of course she wanted the truth, but suddenly she was fearful of his answer. “I believe I do.”

“I left you alone so that you might meet up with someone new.”

“Someone new?” Puzzled, Jenna slowed her steps.

“A man,” Cash replied, his gaze fastened to hers. “I saw the joy on your face during the wedding ceremony. You want that for yourself and I don’t blame you. You deserve it, Jenna. I figured—”

“You figured to abandon me.” Hurt by his intentions, although she thought she understood why, but reason didn’t weigh heavily when it came to matters of the heart. “Why’d you save me from the wolf the other night, Cash, if you intended to throw me to the wolves today anyway?”

“I’m not doing that!”

Jenna stopped dancing. “Aren’t you? There’s no one here for me, Cash. Not one man I’d like to spend time with, so you can stop your matchmaking.”

Jenna turned to leave, but Cash grabbed her around the waist and spun her to face him. He searched her eyes steadily, but there was amusement in his tone. “Not one man?”

“Not a one,” she confessed, folding her arms across her middle.

His lips twitched. “Not even me?”

“Especially you,” she said matter-of-factly, her irritation slowly dissipating. Cash’s gaze softened
and he took her back into his arms. They moved around the dance floor again.

“Well, I can’t let you go now. There’re too many men ready to pounce. I’ve been staring each one of them down. It’s tiresome.” He sighed dramatically. “So long as there’s no one here you’d like to spend time with, I suppose you’re stuck with me today.”

“Mmmm, stuck,” she repeated. Jenna’s heart clenched tight when Cash grinned and pulled her body up to his. He whirled her around the dance floor once again, their argument and his ridiculous notions forgotten.

Three hours later when the celebration was over, Jenna embraced Rosalinda in farewell. “Antonio made such a handsome groom. I know he’s happy. Do you like Marcie?”

A winsome smile crossed Rosalinda’s face. “
Sí.
She is good for my Antonio. She makes him happy. I only wish such happiness for you now,
querida.
Then, all will be well.”

“All is well, Rosa. Don’t worry over me.”

Rosalinda, dressed in a lovely gown of blue satin, directed her gaze to Ben and Cash, who were hitching up their wagons. “You wear his dress, no? He has been very attentive today. I have eyes. I see the way he looks at you. He is a good man, Jenna.”

This time, Jenna didn’t deny it. “Yes.”

Rosalinda’s brows arched. “Ah, so now, you see it, too?”

“Yes, but he is happy to have me meet other men. He thinks I want to marry just anyone.”

“Ah, but you have only one man in mind?”

“No, Rosa. I don’t have anyone in mind. Cash isn’t going to stay with me. I know that. He’ll be gone soon, but I will never forget him.”

Jenna understood that she and Cash had only a short time together. He seemed restless lately and was only staying on at Twin Oaks because he had no other choice.

Ben and Cash walked over to them, ending their conversation. “Ready?” Cash asked. “I’ve got the wagon hitched.”

“Yes, I’m ready,” Jenna said, placing a soft kiss on Rosalinda’s cheek. “Goodbye and congratulations again,” she offered to both the Markhams.

Cash embraced Rosalinda then turned to shake Ben’s hand. “I’ll be by tomorrow and we’ll talk more about that idea I had.”

Cash helped Jenna up onto the buckboard, then mounted the seat and took up the reins. Jenna waved until Ben and Rosalinda were out of sight. When she couldn’t take Cash’s silence another minute, she asked, “What idea are you going to talk to Ben about?”

Cash shrugged in that noncommittal way he had. “Just something I heard today, that’s all.”

By the finality in his voice, the conversation was
over, but Jenna’s unyielding curiosity was sparked. Still, she didn’t pry. She didn’t have to know everything Cash did and said, did she?

He was pretty much a private man. Yet it warmed Jenna’s heart that he’d opened up to her about his childhood. She’d never forget the stories he’d told and never again judge him so harshly for the life he had led.

Jenna wrapped the mantilla more snugly around her shoulders. The day had surrendered to night and there was a slight chill in the air.

“Cold?” Cash asked, giving her a sideways glance.

“A little bit.”

“Come closer,” he suggested and when she did, he wrapped an arm around her. His body gave off heat but Jenna experienced a different sort of heat, one that came from being near the man she wanted. One that came from longing, from hope and from desire.

“Better now?”

“Much better,” she said, leaning her head against his chest. They rode home in silence, Jenna happy to have this time alone to share with Cash.

All too soon, they entered the gates of Twin Oaks. Cash reined in his horse, then jumped down from the wagon. He walked over to Jenna, his hands taking hold of her waist and lifting. Once he set her down, she gazed up into his eyes, his expression unreadable, yet his hold on her hips had
tightened some. “You go in. I’ll see to the wagon.”

Jenna didn’t want him to let go his hold. “Aren’t you coming inside?”

Light from the half moon cast shadows on his face, but shadows of doubt entered his eyes as well. “No, better not.”

“It’s early. I’ll make coffee.”

Cash blew out a sharp breath, contemplating, as though there was a war going on inside his head. “Jenna, if I come inside—”