Charlene Sands (4 page)

“Yes, by now, I should have had some recollections of who and what I am. But it’s been weeks. I’ve read the letters, Jenna, and that hasn’t helped, either. The way I see it, we should start out fresh and new. Just like those scrappy little kittens over there. I have no past, Jenna, but together, we might have a future. Do you want that?”

He wanted this woman. He had since the first
time he’d opened his sore eyes and saw her tending his wounds. This woman who smelled magnolia sweet and looked pretty as a picture even with dirt smudging her face and those locks of wheat-colored hair in messy disarray.

He wanted to keep the joy on her face. He wanted to take the burden of running the farm off her slender shoulders. He wanted to love the land the way she did.

And most of all, he wanted to love her…in his bed and out. He wanted to love her in all ways that mattered. It nearly shocked him to the bone to feel this way, since he didn’t have a real good handle on his emotions. How could he, when he barely knew the man that he was? But he knew one thing. He wanted Jenna Duncan.

“What’s your middle name?” he asked.

“W-What?” Both dimples popped out again when she chuckled.

“Just tell me, Jenna. I need your full name.”

“Leah.”

“Well then,” he said, giving her hand a quick squeeze. Lord help him if he was making a mistake, but his gut told him, if nothing else, that Jenna was the right woman for him. “Jenna Leah Duncan, will you marry me?”

“No.”

“P
ardon me?” he said, nearly choking on the words. “Did you say no?”

She nodded, casting him a look of regret.

Well, he hadn’t expected this. No, sir. Hell, he wanted Jenna Duncan and that desire was strong, but marrying her had been all her idea. He figured he owed her. She’d saved his life and nurtured him back to health.

Living under the same roof, just steps away from her bedroom, he believed it was just a matter of time before he got her into his bed, but Jenna was a decent woman who claimed she wanted marriage. And he’d talked himself into obliging her. Now, he wasn’t all too sure what the woman had in mind.

“Mind telling me why?”

Jenna stepped away from him and pulled her robe closed. Perhaps if the darn thing had been
closed up tight all along, he wouldn’t have gotten this fool notion in his head.

“I can’t marry you, just yet.”

“Just yet?” What in tarnation did that mean?

“No, Blue,” she said, shaking her head. “I mean, I want to, more than anything. I want a life with you. I want,” she whispered, color rising on her cheeks, “I want babies and a family to call my own. But I’m willing to wait, Blue. Just a little longer.”

“Why, Jenna? Why wait?”

He saw her shudder and wanted to go to her, but decided it was best to let her say her piece. “I want you to know what we shared together, to feel it deep in your heart, like how it is in mine. I want your love, Blue. Can you say that you love me?”

He took in a deep breath and moved closer. Meeting her hope-filled eyes, he knew he couldn’t lie to her. He barely knew her. He had no recollections of the love that had a man leaving his own home, traveling hundreds of miles to be with her. He might not ever recall, but he was willing to start over, if she’d been of the same mind. “Ah, Jenna.”

Jenna bruised her lips with worry. “I can’t explain the why of it, but I’ve waited for so long. A lifetime, Blue. You’ll get your memory back soon. I’ve been praying for it. And it’ll come like a lightning flash, just like that. And then you’ll know.”

“I’ll know?”

“What we meant to each other. You’ll know the love we shared. Do you think you could give me a little more time?”

Time, he had. He could grant her time. There was such a sweet look on her face now that he’d do just about anything to keep it there. Jenna wanted his love. There was no doubt in his mind, she was an innocent, a woman who’d never known a man intimately before. It was only right for her to want the bond of love before she gave herself to a man. To him. He hoped he would remember. He hoped he was the man she wanted him to be. “How long?”

Her smile jolted straight into his heart. “Not too long. Just until the fields are all plowed up and planted.”

“And if my memory doesn’t return, then what?”

A look of yearning stole over her face. Shyly, she answered, “Then if you ask again, I’ll accept.”

He nodded. “I can be patient. I’ll wait. It’s settled, then.” He took her hand. “Let’s go. We need to get some sleep.”

They left Button to her kittens, closed the barn door and headed back to the house. They walked up the stairs together, holding hands as he led her to her bedroom door. With a deep sigh, he bid her good-night.

“Good night, Blue.” Reaching up on her toes,
she brushed her lips to his briefly, before turning the knob and entering.

He stood outside her door a long time, staring at it as if the dang thing held all the answers he sought. But no answers were forthcoming, only more questions.

His memory would return, she’d said, like a flash of lightning. Should he dare hope that Jenna was right?

Jenna felt his eyes on her this morning. She made herself busy mixing flour for biscuits and slicing bacon for the griddle. But she knew he watched her with the intensity of a wolf stalking his prey. He had hungry eyes. And they were trained on her. “Would you like more coffee?” she asked, turning to face those eyes.

“I’ll get it,” he said, standing up and reaching for the pot on the cookstove. After pouring two mugs, he sidled up next to her. “Anything I can do?”

Her immediate answer was usually no, but he stood so close she could smell his scent. Earth, man and lye soap made a dizzying combination. She needed to keep them both busy. “Would you put out the plates? Eggs will be ready soon.”

They’d had many a meal together. The routine should be comfortable by now, but there was something underlying, something simmering between them that made Jenna anxious. In all her
imaginings, she couldn’t have thought up a more appealing man. He scared her, thrilled her and lent her comfort all at the same time. Blue Montgomery was all and more than she’d ever dreamed of. She knew in her heart, once married, their joining would be like a firestorm. And the flames wouldn’t burn out for years to come.

“Owwwww!” Jenna missed the handle of the griddle and scorched her finger on the heated metal. The piercing burn brought tears to her eyes. She fanned her hand to help extinguish the fierce heat.

Blue was there instantly. “Jenna,” he said, taking her hand and perusing her fingertip.

“I wasn’t thinking,” she blurted out, but it was what she
had
been thinking that caused her complete lack of concentration.

“Let’s get it in some water.”

He held her hand and poured water into a bowl with the other. “Here, sit down.”

“It’s nothing to fuss over,” she said, trying to withdraw her hand. He didn’t let go. Instead, he pulled out her chair and made her sit. He took a seat beside her.

“Burns can scar if you don’t take care right off.” He set her finger inside the bowl and held it there.

“The eggs will overcook.”

“They’re fine, sugar. I’ll get to them in a minute.”

“I’m not used to being fussed over.”

Blue stroked her hand soothingly, his thumb making circles on her skin and stirring up a different kind of heat. “You should be, Jenna. You should be fussed over,” he said with velvety softness.

Her eyes met his tentatively. “I’m not that sort of woman.”

He laughed. “All women are that ‘sort’ of woman.”

Jenna denied that in her heart. She was a simple farm girl. Blue had always understood that about her. It was her love of the land that had drawn them together in the first place. “I plow fields. I get just as dirty as you and Ben.”

He continued to stroke her hand. “I like seeing smudges on your face.”

Her good hand flew up to her cheeks as mortification set in. “Where?”

Jenna had never cared about her appearance too much before. Who was she to impress? Larabeth, her brown-eyed milk cow? Or Mac, her dependable plow horse? But life was different now. Blue was here, her Blue.

He chuckled again. “Not now. Your face is just fine.”

Relieved, Jenna smiled with him. “I think my finger is all right now. The burning’s stopped.”

“Let me check,” he said, lifting her hand up and drawing it close, then closer, until her finger
was at his lips. His tongue came out and he tasted the moistness there, sending a shock to Jenna’s insides.

Gently, he moved her finger over his cool lips and blew on it. She closed her eyes, relishing the pleasure. And when he dipped her finger into his mouth and suckled, a slow sizzling warmth heated in her belly. “Ohhh.”

His chair scraped back and he stood, dragging her up with him. He took her into his arms, pressing her against him. He groaned low in his chest, like a man in pain, before clamping his lips over hers.

The kiss went long and deep. Their tongues met and mated, a primal dance that Jenna had no knowledge of, but Blue was an excellent tutor and soon she found the rhythm he sought. His hands wove through her hair then traveled down her throat, touching her effortlessly with fiery passion that Jenna returned equally. His hands moved over her, down her hips, then cupped her bottom and brought them together, closer, a sensual rub of bodies that ignited something wild in her. She gasped for breath. He murmured near her ear all the things he couldn’t wait to do with her, all the ways he would pleasure her.

She listened, her breaths coming ragged and fast. Then he kissed her one last time and moved aside, leaving her there, stunned and edgy with desire. She watched him roll up his sleeves, put on Bobby
Joe’s hat and head for the door. “Seems I’m not such a patient man after all, Jenna.”

Jenna stood rooted to the spot, her body trembling, humming out a silent resonating tune created by Blue’s heat and passion. Her scorched finger went to her lips and she closed her eyes, allowing the sweet memory of being in his arms to seep in, burning her as deeply as the fire had moments ago.

He’d said it and he’d been right in his thinking. Blue Montgomery wasn’t a patient man.

That’s one valuable lesson they’d both learned well today.

Jenna caught a glimpse of Ben and Rosalinda riding up in the wagon. She dropped the rolling pin onto the table, deciding the pecan pie could wait. Wiping her hands on her apron, she dashed out of the house and ran over to them before Ben could climb down. “Did you get it?” she asked, knowing full well he had. It was sitting in the back of the wagon.

“Yep, that’s it, Miss Jenna.” He turned to help Rosalinda down and together they went to the back of the wagon.

Jenna stared at the piece of machinery that would save time and allow more planting to be done. Two large wheels to the side of the driver’s seat with a large double bucket to hold the seed in the back made up the bulk of the seeder. Two small wheels for balance just under the seeding device
assured a steady ride. Once hitched up to Mac, planting would take no time at all.

“It’s not new. Got us a used one, the last one they had. It saved us a chunk of money, too,” Ben said.

“Long as it works, Ben.”

“Works fine, I tested it.”

Jenna grinned. “Thank you for getting it.”

He nodded.

“How was your trip, Rosalinda? Did you like going into town?”

“
Sí,
yes. It is a big town. So much bigger than Goodwill.” Rosalinda’s brother had been a vaquero on the same Texas cattle ranch that Ben had worked. Ben and Rosalinda fell in love, marrying young. When the ranch faltered, they decided to move to Oklahoma and earn a living farming the land instead. They’d been with her family for over eighteen years, raised two children, one of whom still worked for Twin Oaks. All through the years the loving couple had been Jenna’s most trusted friends. “I bought pretty fabric for new dresses. One for you and one for me. Such beautiful material, you will see.”

“Oh, thank you, Rosalinda, but where will I wear such a nice dress?” She wore most of her clothes in the fields working the land. Her threadbare dresses had all but lost their vibrancy and life. Many had holes and grass stains that couldn’t be repaired any longer. She made sure they were
clean. Her mama had drilled it into her about the virtues of cleanliness and all, but she didn’t think she’d have use for anything new and pretty.

“Perhaps for your new man,” Rosalinda said, her dark eyes twinkling.

Heat rushed up Jenna’s face and she glanced at Ben.

“I’ll get the seeder down. You two ladies have yourself a nice talk now.” He winked at his wife and she grinned.

“But you must be hungry and thirsty, Ben. Come inside. I’ll fix you both something to eat.”

He shook his head. “No, I’m fine for now. I saw your man in the fields. Thought I’d see how he’s doing. I’ll be back later. You feed my wife, though. She’s always hungry.”

“Ben!” Rosalinda feigned embarrassment. Her dark eyes rolled. “He pokes fun, no?”

“Yes, that he does. Come on, I’ve started on a pie, but I’ve got cheese and bread and fresh coffee ready now.”

Ben kissed his wife’s cheek. “See you later, Rosie.”

Jenna walked into the house with her older friend, her mind spinning in circles. She supposed Blue Montgomery was “her man,” but she wasn’t used to others thinking of him that way. “Sit down, Rosalinda, and tell me all about your trip.”

Rosalinda took a seat and shook her head. “That
will come later. I want to hear of this man you call Blue.”

Jenna sank down in a chair. How could she explain about Blue? All of her hopes for the future were tied into him, wrapped tight in the letters they’d shared, the hearts that had so unexpectedly come together. They hadn’t seen each other since childhood, yet they’d fallen in love with words written and dreams shared. Blue was everything she’d wanted in a man, and more, it seemed, now that they were actually reacquainted. She’d be truly overjoyed at her good fortune if only his memory would return. “Oh, he’s…he’s—”

“Much handsome, yes?”

“Oh, yes, yes. But he doesn’t remember me or the love we shared through our letters.”

“He is here. Working the land, Jenna. He must care for you.”

Jenna smiled, a tentative lifting of her lips.
Yes, he is here.
That thought comforted her, to know he worked the land beside her and that they’d be together to witness the wheat rise up toward the sun one day soon. “He asked me to marry him,” she confided.

Rosalinda’s dark eyebrows shot up. “And when is the wedding?”

Jenna chuckled. To Rosalinda, life was simple. You loved, you married, you had children. But for Jenna, it was different. She was a stranger to Blue until his memory returned.

Jenna stood then and cut chunks of cheese. She brought out bread she’d baked yesterday to the table, unfolding the napkin and setting out thick slices. She poured coffee for Rosalinda, then answered her. “I’ve asked him to wait. It wouldn’t be fair to him…or to me. We are like strangers.”

Rosalinda waved away Jenna’s explanation. “You love him, no? He is a good man. You are a good woman. Together you make many babies. I will be a grandmother.”

Jenna had been plagued with doubt since Blue had asked her to marry him. Had she made a mistake in refusing his proposal? “Rosalinda, is it so wrong to want him to remember me?”

“Ah, so that is it. No,
querida,
it is not wrong, but perhaps not so wise. We must not wait all of our life for something that will not come.”

Rosalinda was right. Blue might never remember her, although Jenna sensed so strongly that he would regain his memory. And it would be soon. She had to cling to that hope. For years now, she’d had her heart set on Blue Montgomery, on the time he’d come to her with love in his heart for her and only her. Jenna wanted so much to be loved, truly loved, by this man. “We agreed to wait until the planting’s done.”