Charley (32 page)

“Wilma, you know you are.”

I managed a small smile and muttered. “It does make them kind of goofy though.”

“That’s all well and good for a quickie tumble in bed, but if you want more from a man than sex, you’ve got to give more. The good men want someone with more to them than sex. You might get them interested with sex, but you better have something else if you want to keep them.”

“I let my hair grow out to natural blond.  That was a big step for me. He seemed to appreciate it,” I whispered.

“Honey, I know that was a major for you, but let’s be honest here. You can change it back in an hour, if you want.”

“But …”

“No buts. What have
you
given PJ that really cost you something? In my opinion, you want this relationship to go somewhere, as long as
you
control it. And so far, you have controlled it and it hasn’t cost you anything. You started this romance with sex, and you’re keeping it going with sex. How does he know you really, deep down, love him, if all you do is spread your thighs for him? Honey, there’s got to be more!”

“That’s not fair, Wilma.”

But Wilma continued.

“For all he knows, he is way down on your list of priorities, way behind the Bar, and Randle’s memory and your reputation in this town. Be honest. Aren’t you glad he went to the Chamber meeting so you could impress him with your importance? I’ll bet you even arranged for Bob’s job offer, didn’t you? You knew what Bob was going to offer before the Chamber meeting, I bet.”

I dropped my head in my hands with the realization that I had manipulated the whole affair, and it tore at my heart. I needed sex, and PJ was my fantasy man. I broke all the unspoken rules by openly and aggressively going after him.  Just like the Boys and Girls Club encounter six years ago, he couldn’t help himself.

 And when he finally did tell me he loved me, I pushed him away. I told him that ‘I’ was more important than ‘we’.

“My God, Wilma, what have I done …?”

Later, I was talking on the phone to Mary Lou, PJ’s assistant at Curtis. She told me what had been going on with PJ during that time. It seems she had a long conversation with PJ about us. She told me about it and I confirmed it with PJ. This is what they talked about …

*****

“PJ, you’re a damn fool. Call the woman, instead of moping around here with your tail between your legs like a frightened puppy.”

“Mary Lou, I’m confused. I’m not completely sure she loves me. I really don’t want to come across as a fool and beg her to love me. She says the right things, but I’m not convinced.”

“Why don’t you think she loves you?”

“She says she does, but she doesn’t act like it. She certainly doesn’t need me! And I know that damn bar is more important to her than I am. I went to the Chamber of Commerce meeting this past weekend, and she sat me at a table with her ex-boyfriend. And after that they named her the President of the Chamber of Commerce. Mary Lou, she loves that city, and those people, and Jimmy’s Bar. I’m fourth or fifth on her list.  She doesn’t love me. If she did, she would at least think about living here with me. She won’t even consider it. And that’s what I need, for her to just consider it!”

“So stop whining! I haven’t heard you like this since the first year Curtis was passed over for the NCAA tournament.”

“Not the same.”

“PJ, you’re concerned about the wrong person in this relationship. You want to know she loves you, but the real question is this. Do you love her? The woman wants your affection and your devotion. She wants, no I take that right back; Charley
needs
to know she is the most important thing in your world. She’s not going to commit to you without knowing that. Without that assurance, you’re just another sex partner for her. That was the way she dreamed of you in the beginning, and you have fulfilled her dreams, but nothing else. You’ve done nothing to let her know that she means more to you than just someone to satisfy your own sexual needs.”

“Mary Lou, I can’t sleep at night without dreaming of her.”

“Yeah, along with the next basketball season, and the fantastic prospect Jerry dug up in Cincinnati. Oh yeah? I bet you haven’t been dreaming about that Head Coaching job in Tennessee you interviewed for either?”

“That’s not fair! How did you know about that?”

“Never mind how I know. Tell me honestly. Am I right, huh?”

His eyes focused on his feet, but his slack jaw told it all. She’s right of course, Mary Lou always is!

“Mary Lou, what can I do?”

“First, you have to figure out whether
you
love
her
, and not the other way around. And how important is she to you? What is she worth? More importantly, what are
you
willing to give to have her? Tough questions, right?”

“Yes,” PJ answered, barely above a whisper.

“PJ McCoy, until you make her know how important she is, the two of you will have a long-range relationship, built on sex and nothing else. And, young man, believe me, even sex runs out, and when it does your relationship will be over.”

On that cold and breezy November Wednesday morning, before Thanksgiving, the flight into Nashville International was late. I waited patiently, but with increasing agitation when the delay was extended. Finally the flight was announced. I began pacing the floor waiting to see him come around the corner into the waiting area.

I’d been discussing our relationship with Wilma and Ronnie, and had made some decisions. Wilma and Ronnie thought my decision was crazy and tried to talk me out of it, but I held firm, and in the end they came around. I couldn’t wait to tell PJ.

Hopefully, PJ would agree to my plan and approve it as well.

Finally PJ came into view. There was something different about him, a more determined walk, shoulders back and a huge grin covering his face. When he spotted me, he broke into a run, sliding around the other passengers and never taking his eyes off me. As he got to me, he dropped his bags and picked me up and spun me around like I was a little girl. He showered me with kisses almost to embarrassment.

He couldn’t contain himself. “I’ve got a big surprise for you!”

“You do? What is it?”

“Can’t tell you now. Tell you when we get home.”

There was something about the way he said home that had my insides fluttering with anticipation. We rushed to get his bags and hurried to my SUV.

PJ threw his bag in the back and turned to me. “I love you and I missed you terribly.”

My throat caught and I couldn’t speak, but I did cling to him with all my force. Finally, we just stopped and looked at each other and got into the car. When we walked through the door of the condo, PJ carried his bag into the bedroom. I was tempted to rip off his clothes and resume where we had left off. But this time sex didn’t seem to be as important as it had been.

Even PJ seemed to feel that way. “We need to talk first. Let’s go into the living room and light the fireplace. I have something important to show you.”

Anxious to see what PJ had, I followed him into the living room and turned on the gas logs in the fireplace.

“Sweetheart,” he said. “I’ve been thinking lots about us. I’ve made a decision and I hope you approve.”

With that said, PJ pulled out two pieces of paper from his coat pocket. The first paper was addressed to Dr. Abner Underwood. “I won’t read the letter to you now, but it says that I am resigning as basketball coach at Curtis University as of the end of the current season. I felt I needed to give Dr. Underwood enough time to find a replacement. I’ll give this to him when I return on Monday.”

He could hardly contain himself as he held up the second envelope. “And,” he continued. “I expect to personally deliver this second letter on Friday. It’s to Bob Wells, accepting his offer to be the sports face of his station. We’ve been talking the last two weeks and he understands I need to coach this last season for Curtis. We’ll work on the details of my involvement until that point. Sweetheart, I decided the future was more important to me than the present. I just couldn’t see my future without you in it. If I became the greatest coach in the history of basketball, and lost you, it would never be worth it. So I’m willing to do whatever it takes to ensure we’re together. And frankly, I don’t care where we are, or what job I have, as long as we’re together.”

I was stunned.

He’s doing what? For me? He’s giving up coaching for me? No way!

I started laughing. “You are one sweet, crazy man. Wait until you hear what I’ve done. I’ve been thinking and talking, and thinking some more about us, and particularly what is keeping us apart. I decided something as well. I decided that
we
are more important than
I
.”

“What?”

“On my desk, is a binding agreement to sell Jimmy’s Bar and Grill to Ronnie. He’s in the process now of arranging financing. When the money is available, I will walk away from the Bar with a tidy sum. Additionally, on Friday, I have an appointment with my realtor to list the condo. Also, I have a letter of resignation ready to present to the Chamber meeting next week. I want to come live with you.”

Saying it out loud made me realize how much I meant it. I couldn’t sit still any longer. I jumped up and ran to him before he could get up. He was startled when I climbed onto his lap.

“I want us to have three kids, and I want to go to the parent conferences and bake cookies, and take my kids to play soccer, and be known to one and all as the Coach’s wife. If you and I, that is
we
, are not together then my world just can’t be complete!”

Pastor John married us in March, after PJ took his team to a third straight NCAA Tourney. PJ resigned, and Jerry Mason was named coach of the team.

PJ wouldn’t let me resign as President of the Chamber, but I wouldn’t be returning the next year for a second term.

We moved into my condo, and on our anniversary had a little girl named Kathryn Howard McCoy.

Ronnie wasn’t able to raise the money for the Bar, primarily because he didn’t have the right management experience. So I sold it to him for one dollar.

I didn’t need the money. I had plenty from the insurance and ongoing income from the building lease. A year later, Shelby Loomis retired from his bank, sold it to an out of state financial service company, and joined Ronnie running the Bar. They now have the Bar downtown as well as one in the upscale Green Hills area, and another in the up and coming young adult scene in the Gulch.

After his two year commitment to Bob Wells, PJ confessed he hated what he was doing. He hated the deadlines, and he hated the year round pressure to produce interviews, articles and sports coverage. He hated not being involved with the young athletes. And he especially hated being gone from Katy and me.

I told him. “Honey, I trust you. Do what you think best and I’ll follow you wherever we need to go.”

The next week, PJ came home with a relaxed and happy smile and said. “I quit … effective in thirty days.”

PJ approached Dr. Underwood, his former Athletic Director at Curtis for advice. Dr. Underwood had an old friend who made it big in the hospital and healthcare business in Nashville. He was heading a group of investors, including several well known country music stars, who were starting a small college in a city, just south of Nashville, TN.

PJ met with the investors, and he was hired immediately as the new school’s first Athletic Director and basketball coach.

With my connections, and a small investment, I convinced Vincent Smith and his wife Marlene, the former chef for the Curtis Athletic Department, to open a steak house in downtown Nashville, which we called Vincent’s Steak House. PJ and I are silent partners. I am a member of the Nashville Chamber of Commerce, and on the Board of the Williamson County Boys and Girls Club. PJ is the Athletic Director of the Spring Hill University Cavaliers. He gave up coaching several years ago.

We attend a small Community Church near our home.

I work in the nursery. PJ is a deacon.

We bought fifty-five acres of beautiful land in the horse country in suburban Williamson County. We have three horses in the barn, two outdoor cats and three dogs. Our closest neighbor is the country home of folk singers Darleen McGarraghy and her husband Cliff.

The house has five bedrooms, an Olympic sized pool complete with waterfalls, and an outside basketball court.

Kate, as she now insists on being called, is three, and I’m pregnant with a boy this time. We are going to name him James Phillip McCoy. We plan to call him Jimmy, but will probably shorten it to JP. We want to have another baby to round out the family. Whether a boy or girl, we are going to name the baby Shelby, after my dad.

*****

*****

The beautiful First Presbyterian Church was a perfect setting for a formal funeral, one that befits a deceased member of a prominent family of the area. The minister finished his remarks, and paused before offering the closing prayers.

“Does any of the family wish to say a word?”

“Yes, I do.”

The butterflies came awake as I stood up, and walked to the podium with the package under my arm. Mom would just love to be hiding among the gargoyles and statues, watching us grieve. She always had a quirky sense of humor. And here I was, about to join hands with her, in an announcement guaranteed to cause consternation among our little uptight family group. Mom was a free spirit. She really didn’t care what others thought of her. Dad, who died five and a half years ago, was the same way. I remember her telling me.

‘When I found your dad, he was everything I ever wanted. I never cared what anyone thought as long as he was happy. We gave up so much for each other that nothing else mattered.’

There are three of us children.

Me, my older sister Kathryn, and my older brother JP. Kate and JP both went to private high schools and the best colleges. They met interesting but decidedly dull future spouses, and finally proceeded to marry them along with their equally dull, boring families. They are all well to do conservative Republicans, always careful not to rock the social or political boat, for fear of losing that so called hard earned wealth. I have to admit too, my sister and brother have grown to be just like the families into which they married.