Charlotte's Tangled Web: L.B. Pavlov (44 page)

“Oh no, Dad,” I said, covering my mouth, despair in my voice.

“It gets worse, so just stay seated and listen, please. If I don’t do this, we will never heal as a family. Or at least my therapist believes that to be true. Daniel was pretty devastated that you had only applied to Notre Dame because you didn’t trust him. I also convinced him that you would never go to Stanford if you and he were still together. I told him that you had already accessed your trust, which was true, but that just panicked him all the more. I told him that he needed to do whatever it took to get you to leave. That you could be together later, after you had lived your dreams. And that he would be selfish if he didn’t do this,” he said quietly, looking into my eyes.

“How could you do that, Dad? How could you do that to him? How could you do that to me? You knew how much we loved each other!” I said, starting to cry. “You lied to get him to break up with me? And then you watched me suffer, and you didn’t do anything about it? How am I supposed to make that OK?” I asked, my voice shaking now.

“You aren’t. I’m not asking you to. All I am asking you to do is to hear me out. All I can do is try to do the right thing now, Charlotte. I can’t go back and undo what I did, but I can own up and allow you to know the truth,” he said quietly.

“So, Daniel never cheated on me?” I asked cautiously.

“No,” he said, making no excuses.

“And you knew that?” I asked, still trying to get the facts straight.

“I assumed that he hadn’t, but he and I had never discussed specifically what he would say to you. But when I heard what he had told you, I knew right away that he had lied. He loved you too much to have cheated. I knew that I had led him to say whatever it took to get you to leave. And I knew that he thought of me as a father-figure. And I knew that he trusted me, and he would never assume that I would lie about what you had told me. So in one conversation, I caused this whole mess, and I did nothing to fix it,” he said, shame emanating from him as he spoke.

I was in shock; I couldn’t believe what he had done. I couldn’t believe what he was telling me. How would I ever forgive him for doing this?

“Is that it, Dad? Is there anything else that you have done to destroy my life?” I said with hatred in my voice.

“No, Charlotte, that’s not it,” he said. “Grace and Tom were not happy with me, but they called me a week ago when Daniel was brought up on charges by this girl Crystal Bryant. They needed legal counsel, and they asked me to help Daniel. It was an opportunity to try to do right by him after all that I have done. We were in hearings all week, and I spent a lot of time with Daniel. Daniel did not sleep with that girl, Charlotte. It’s important that you know that. It all unfolded, and the truth came out. This girl had been basically stalking Daniel. She had broken into his dorm room more than once. Daniel had filed a restraining order against her. This infuriated her. She made a final attempt to be with him two weeks ago, and he once again rejected her, and she swore that she would get revenge. And she gave it a good shot,” he said, assessing me with every word that he spoke.

“Oh my gosh, this is horrible,” I said quietly.

“Yes, it is. She isn’t even pregnant. The whole thing was a ploy to destroy Daniel. It’s ironic that the turning point when the truth finally came out was his tattoo,” he said, thinking about what had happened.

“His Hollingsworth tattoo?” I asked, confused.

“No, Charlotte. This girl had made statements that she and Daniel were, um, intimate on many occasions. She claimed that they had showered together many times and gave a lot of specific details. Daniel whispered in my ear to inquire about his tattoos. She only knew about the one on his arm that says
Hollingsworth
. Of course everyone knows about that tattoo because you can see it when he wears a T-shirt. She didn’t know about the other tattoo. He has had it for months, and if her story were true, she would have known about it if she had been intimate with him, as she claimed. She fell apart as soon as she was caught, and she eventually admitted they had never been together, and she made it all up to hurt him. The newspaper is printing an apology from Crystal Bryant to Daniel and his family tomorrow. She has been expelled from Notre Dame as well. Everyone wants to make sure that Daniel’s name is cleared.”

“I don’t understand. Daniel only has one tattoo. What are you talking about?” I asked, frustrated.

“No, Charlotte, he has two. And James was called to testify because he went with Daniel to get his second tattoo months ago,” he said firmly.

“And I doubted him. You let me doubt him. You are the reason that we aren’t together, Dad. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you. I don’t know what to do,” I said, standing up and growing more upset by the minute as I processed all that I had just heard.

“Charlotte, I told Daniel everything that I had done when I was with him this week. He knows everything now. He is also very upset by all of this. He loves you, Charlotte, and you need to go and get this straightened out. I don’t expect you to forgive me right now, but hopefully someday you will,” he said sadly.

“How do I fix this mess, Dad? I thought he cheated on me. I haven’t spoken to him in months aside from a few texts. I believed what the newspaper said about him. I let him go through all of this alone. How do you expect me to fix this?” I said, shouting.

I was so angry. How dare he do this! What kind of father does this to his child? I was disgusted.

“That is why I am here, Charlotte. The Hollingsworths are leaving for Tahiti tonight at midnight for the entire winter break. I drove here to see you and tell you everything, but it would take hours to get you home if you drive back with me,” he said, pausing, and he reached in his coat pocket and pulled something out. “I booked you a ticket on the last flight home tonight. Unfortunately, Charlotte, we need to leave now if you are going to make that flight,” he said with urgency in his voice. “This is the best I can do to try to fix this. If he leaves, it will be weeks before you can get this resolved. This needs to end today. You need to get up and let me take you to the airport right now. It is only a one-hour flight. You need to go and talk to Daniel now,” he said firmly.

He was desperate. He had caused all of this, and the guilt must have been killing him.

“What? In case you haven’t noticed, Jack, I am at a track meet with Stanford University! The school that you were willing to jeopardize all of my happiness for! I am in Ohio with my team. How do you expect me to just leave?” I shouted angrily. I had purposely called him Jack because my brothers did this occasionally when they were upset with him, and I knew how much it bugged him.

“Charlotte, do you want to be like me?” he asked quietly.

“What? I am nothing like you. How dare you say that! I would never do what you have done!” I shouted.

“Then stop behaving like me. You are your mother’s daughter, Charlotte, you always have been. Don’t change that. Follow your heart like you always have. What is it telling you to do?” he asked calmly.

I started to cry. I was frustrated. I was so angry. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t process all of this as quickly as he wanted me to. I needed to think.

“Tell me why you did it, and I will leave with you now,” I demanded.

“I have told you why, I didn’t want you to make the same mistake that your mother made,” he said quietly.

“That’s not an answer, Dad! What would make someone devastate his own child the way that you did? All because Mom had stopped running competitively? It doesn’t make sense. She was happy. She had a husband whom she loved and four children whom she adored. What was so bad about that, Dad?” I shouted in his face.

He stared at me, and tears started to stream down his face. He couldn’t speak.

“What, Dad? Why do you think you ruined her life?” I screamed.

“Because she died,” he said in the saddest voice I had ever heard from him.

I looked deeply into his eyes. “She died of cancer. What does that have to do with Stanford or running?” I asked, much calmer now. I wanted to know what he was hiding.

“I am the reason that she died, Charlotte. I am the reason that you don’t have a mother. I have to live with that every day,” he said with absolute despair in his voice.

“Dad, Mom died of cancer. It wasn’t anyone’s fault,” I said, trying to figure out what he was talking about.

“Charlotte, if your mother had gone to the Olympics, they would have done tons of medical tests. They would have found the cancer much sooner. She was busy taking care of
our
family. She hadn’t been to the doctor in several years. She could have lived longer if she hadn’t given everything up for me,” he said, and he sat down on the bleachers and dropped his head into his hands and sobbed.

And there it was. My father had blamed himself for my mother’s death. And I realized then and there that losing the love of his life had destroyed him. I understood how he felt for the first time in my life. I thought that Daniel had left me, and I fell to pieces. My dad had lost his wife, the mother of his children, and the love of his life, and he had lost himself in that.

“Dad, you are not responsible for Mom’s death. It was terminal cancer. It wouldn’t have mattered when it was discovered. And if they had found it sooner, she would never have had children, and she loved being a mother more than anything. You read her journals. You made her dreams come true, Dad. You can’t blame yourself for this,” I said, and something came over me, and I hugged him.

“Charlotte, I’m sorry for what I did. I’m truly sorry,” he said sadly.

I could hear the remorse in his voice. “I know you are, Dad. We will work through it, but right now I have a plane to catch,” I said, suddenly feeling an urgency to get out of there.

I ran to Coach Little and frantically told him that there was an emergency with Daniel, and I needed to catch a plane immediately. He yelled at Nick to grab my bag from the van and meet us at my dad’s car. He hugged me and told me to call him and let him know that everything was OK.

I hugged Misty, and she ran with my dad and I to the car. “I knew something didn’t quite fit,” she said as I gave her a few brief details about Crystal.

Nick threw the bag in our car, and they both told me to call them later.

“Charlotte, it’s going to be close. We are ten minutes from the airport. I’m going to pull up, and you’re going to have to run as fast as you can to security and hope there isn’t a line. Your flight leaves in twenty-five minutes. It’s the last flight of the day,” my dad said nervously.

“OK, I can do that,” I said and smiled at him.

He gave me a hundred dollar bill and said I would need it for a taxi because he wouldn’t be home for several hours. He said to call Grace as soon as I landed and find out where Daniel was. He and James were driving home from school, and Grace would know where they were.

“If you don’t make it, call me and I will come back and get you and we will drive home. I will wait one hour, and if I don’t hear from you, I will assume you got on,” he said, smiling.

“Oh my goodness, look at me! I’m in my uniform! I look crazy!” I said, laughing as I quickly looked in the mirror.

“You look beautiful,” he said, and he had his old smile back.

“Dad, I would like to meet your girlfriend Karen while I am home, OK?” I said, looking at him.

“Thank you, Charlotte. She would like that as well,” he said, smiling.

My dad would take my bag home for me, and I would just have my backpack with me during the mad dash for my gate.

We pulled up, and he just yelled, “Go! I love you,” and I hit the pavement and started sprinting. I ran through the airport like I was in a race. People were turning and staring at me. I didn’t care. I needed to get to Daniel. I needed to tell him how much I loved him. We had been apart long enough. He was the love of my life, and I was ready to start living. I was gasping as I arrived at security. Nightmare. There was a long line. I bent over my knees to catch my breath, and I was panicking.

I met eyes with the security guard. I must have given him a desperate look because he rushed over. “Are you OK, ma’am?” he asked.

“No, no I’m not! I have a flight I have to be on. It leaves in ten minutes. Please, it’s an emergency!” I said, still trying to catch my breath.

“People, step to the side. We have an athlete who needs to get through,” he shouted. Everyone stepped to the side, and I quickly pulled out my ID and raced through. I looked back at him to smile, and he winked at me.

I started sprinting for dear life towards my gate. I knew they would have already boarded. When I got to the gate, the door to the airplane was already closed.

“Oh, please, no! I have to get on that flight. Please, please, can’t you open the door?” I pleaded.

The flight attendant looked at me. She could see the desperation in my eyes. She picked up the phone and talked quietly. She hung the phone up and smiled at me.

She unlocked the door and said, “Let’s get you on, they are about to take off.”

“Oh thank you, thank you!” I shouted and hugged her as she hurried me on board.

.

chapter
21

destined

I was in my seat, and we were taking off within seconds. I was still breathing heavy. The combination of running for my life and the adrenaline running through me made me very antsy. It was only a one-hour flight. Oh please, let me get there before he leaves, I prayed. I would grab a taxi and call Grace to find out where Daniel was. They were leaving that night for Tahiti, and I wouldn’t have much time.

I sat back in my seat, and I thought about everything. From Chandler Hoboken in kindergarten throwing sand in my face to Katrina George and her posse knocking me down, Daniel had always been there for me—punching people, punching trees, climbing trees to be with me, and sacrificing himself for my happiness. I realized right then and there that it was my turn to do the same for him. I loved him more than anything, and I would go to the end of the earth to fix this. I didn’t care where he was or who was there, nothing was stopping me.