Chase the Wind (60 page)

“No, we won’t let you die,” Grace said into Jenny’s burning hot
ear. Grace felt Chase standing beside her, the dim light of the lantern dancing on his wide bare chest and making his face disappear into the darkness.

“What is it?” he asked.

“She’s dreaming.”

Chase sat on the edge of the bed and picked up Jenny’s hand. It fluttered against his like a baby bird, too weak to make it on its own. He brought the hand to his lips and laid his other hand against her cheek. “Jenny?” he said softly. “I’m here, you’re not alone anymore.” She turned her face into his hand. It was almost as if she was breathing it in, then she turned away from it, fighting once again with the demons that only she could see.

“I hear you Chase, but I can’t find you.” In her mind she was screaming, but the words came out a whisper. Mason wouldn’t let her find him; he kept pulling her back into the furnace that was burning her alive.

“Jenny, I love you,” Chase said.

“Y can’t, don’t you see? You won’t want to,” Jenny cried as she slid into the heat.

“Keep talking to her so she can find her way back,” Grace said as she placed a cool cloth on her forehead.

“Jenny!” Chase was calling her, she could hear him but she couldn’t answer, because she didn’t want to see the look in his eyes, so she stayed in hell, holding the blanket close and begging Mason to leave her alone.

“Maybe we should take the blanket off, she’s so hot,” Chase suggested.

Grace smoothed the blanket over Jenny’s chest, noting the death grip that her hands had on it. “I don’t think it would help.”

Jenny kept on fighting Mason, even though she was so very tired. The light was too bright, it was burning through her eyelids, she needed to turn away, but even thinking about moving her head made her cringe. She just didn’t have the energy. Block
it out,
Jenny thought and managed to raise her hand and cover her eyes. She felt the strong, gentle touch of another hand as it smoothed back her unruly hair, and her eyelids fluttered.

“Welcome back,” said a deep voice, as smooth as velvet. The light was shining in the window behind his head, but she knew it was Chase, because her heart jumped when he spoke to her. Jenny
made a face at the light and she heard his laughter, and then the room was dark again. “Is that better?” he asked as he pulled her
hand down.

Chase’s face was etched with worry, but a slight smile touched
it as he realized that the worst was over. Jenny had beaten the fever
that had consumed her for the past several days. She was weak,
however, that was obvious just by looking at her. The hand that
had covered her face was almost transparent, and her skin had lost
its golden glow. A few days in the sun and a few good meals should
get her healthy again, he mused, but he was saddened when she
turned away from him.

Chase had thrown her mother’s quilt over the window. It framed him perfectly as he stood by the side of the bed, looking wonderful.
Jenny wanted so much to feel his arms around her. She still re
membered how he had held her in front of him on his horse, but
it was best to put such memories behind her, best for the both of
them. Her ordeal had affected him, she could tell by the lines
around his eyes, and there was a sadness there also. She recognized
it from when they had first met, when his mother had been killed.
She had to turn away before he could see inside her. She knew that
he could look into her eyes and know everything, and she couldn’t
stand it. He must never know what Mason had done to her, how
he had branded her. It was better to let him think she did not want him because she was afraid to be with him, than to have him turn
away from her in disgust.

Chase picked up the hand lying on the blanket and sat down
on the edge of the bed. “Well?” he asked as he rearranged a strand
of hair that was tangled around her arm.

“What happened?” Jenny croaked, and then tried to clear her
throat. Chase handed her a cup of water and she gratefully took it,
suddenly realizing how thirsty she was. He had to help her with
it, her hands shook so when she tried to lift it. Then she realized that she needed to sit up, and she was helpless to stop him from
gently pulling her up, supporting her with one arm while he helped
her hold the cup with the other. His hand surrounded both of hers
as she drained the cup, the water feeling wonderful on her parched
throat. “I must look awful,” she apologized when she was done.

“I think you’re beautiful.” He dropped a kiss on the top of her
head, then eased her back on the pillows. “Do you remember any
thing?”

Jenny’s mind rambled back over the past week, trying to separate dreams and hallucinations from reality. “You killed Mason,” Chase nodded. “Jamie burned the house?”

“Yes. Anything else?”

Jenny shook her head; the trip home did not exist.

“Do you remember the knife in the fire?” She saw the knife flying through the air, felt the sting in her hand, but said nothing. Chase saw the panic in her eyes but ignored it. She seemed so very fragile and he did not want to push her. “You came down with a fever. The doctor said you were probably bleeding somewhere inside and we would just have to see if it healed.”

That made sense to Jenny, she remembered taking some hard punches and kicks from Mason. She raised a hand to her face, where she remembered being hit. It was tender, but the swelling and cuts were gone.

“You’re practically healed there, from what I can see, but you’ll have to figure out your shoulder and ankle for yourself.”

Her shoulder felt all right, Jenny realized when she thought about it. Her ankle felt tender when she tried to flex the foot— she’d have to stand on it to find out if it was better. As for the rest, she felt the painful itch of healing scars and willed herself not to look under the blanket, under the high-necked gown, to see the brand over her heart. She could feel it, she couldn’t believe that it had not burned right through her coverings for everyone to see.

“Where’s Jamie?”

“Working. We’ve been taking turns. Grace got tired of having both of us under foot all the time so she said we had to go in shifts. Jason’s been great. He said neither one of us had to work until you were better, but we felt guilty about that so we work a little, sleep a little and stay with you as much as possible.” He gave her a lopsided smile, almost like an apology, and Jenny felt her heart leap in her chest. Chase saw the spark that lit her eyes for a second and decided to push on. “I’ve been working on the cabin.”

“The cabin?”

“Yes, the cabin. Remember Jason said we could have his old cabin to live in after we—”

“Could you get Grace for me?” Jenny hurriedly interrupted him, looking anxiously beyond for salvation.

“Sure, she’s fixing dinner. I’ll be right back.” He couldn’t hide the hurt that flashed in his eyes any more than Jenny could hide the haunted look in hers, but he knew she needed time, so he went for Grace.

“So you finally decided to join us?” Grace said to Jenny as she
came into the room. “Chase is grinning like a fox. He’s been so worried about you.”

“He has?”

“Yes. Jamie too, but I finally had to run him off. He kept moping around and getting in my way.” Grace busied herself with plumping pillows and folding the quilt that she pulled off the window. “What do you want to do first, take a bath or eat?”

“A bath sounds nice, and my hair—”

“We will take care of it,” Grace went to the door. “Chase, bring the tub in here. Let’s get this girl cleaned up.”

“No!”
Jenny exclaimed in panic. Grace was puzzled as she pulled the door shut behind her.

“What is it?”

“Chase—I don’t want him to see me.”

“He won’t. He’s just going to bring in the tub and fetch some water, that’s all.” Grace sat down on the bed and took up Jenny’s hands. “I know what that bastard did to you, but it won’t matter to Chase. He loves you.” Jenny turned her head away, but Grace brought it back around with a finger under her chin. “It’s just a scar, that’s all, like Jamie’s. It will heal and become a distant memory.”

“How can it, when I’ll know what it means.”

“What does it mean? It means that you were brutalized by a man with no soul, a man who’s dead and gone now, a man who will never touch you or your family again. Don’t let him have that power over you. He’s done enough to you in the past. Don’t let him destroy your future, too.” Grace smoothed back the tendrils of hair that
were scattered around Jenny’s face. “Now, let’s get you washed and dressed and fed, and your hair brushed, and then you’ll be ready to see everyone who has been so worried about you. Okay?”

Jenny nodded in agreement as she dashed away the tears that had
gathered at the corners of her eyes. They heard the clumping on the porch that meant Chase had gotten the tub, and he smiled
at Jenny as he placed it in a comer of the room. Grace sent him for buckets of water while she set some to heat and laid out towels. Grace had to help Jenny to the chamber pot, because her ankle would not support her; then she helped her ease into the tub. That
small bit of movement exhausted her so much that she lay back
and let Grace wash her hair as the hot water eased away the aches and pains that had accumulated after a week of being flat on her
back.

Jenny ran a soapy cloth over her body and was shocked to find
her ribs and hips sticking out prominently. She sucked in her
breath when she felt a scab fall away from her breast, taken up by
the washcloth, but she refused to look down, even when she caught
sight of a trickle of blood out of the comer of her eye. She felt
brittle and fragile, as if a slight breeze would blow her away, and
wondered how she would ever find the strength to get out of the
tub. She finally had to move after Grace wrung out her hair and the water began to chill and set her teeth to chattering. Grace helped her out and wrapped her hair up in a towel after she had
dressed her in a long, frilly gown. Grace opened the door and
summoned Chase, who was busy stirring a pot of soup that she
had left bubbling on the stove.

“I need to change these linens,” she explained, “and you need a dose of fresh air. Chase, take her outside to the swing and I’ll bring
her something to eat.”

Jenny wanted nothing more than to climb back into bed and
pull the blankets over her head, but Grace had already thrown the
sheets onto the floor. Jenny was leaning against the bedpost, her
foot barely touching the floor, but she managed to take up her quilt
before it slid into a heap with the rest of the linens. Chase took it from her arms and wrapped it around her shoulders before he slid
his arm down around her knees, scooping her up in his arms. Jenny
had no choice but to wrap an arm around his neck as he tried to
get a solid grip on her through the thickness of the quilt. Her head
was against his shoulder, his hair tickling her nose, and she
couldn’t help inhaling his scent, the smell of outdoors, homemade
soap, horse and leather, with just a hint of onion from the steam
of the soup. Grace handed him a hair brush as he walked through
the door with strict instructions not to yank Jenny’s hair out. He laughed as he took it and commented on her bossy ways getting
out of control.

Being outside again felt like hitting a wall. It was too big, too
bright, too loud. Chase sat down with her in the swing, holding
her tightly against him as she hid her head against his neck, trying
to slow the assault on her senses. Chase didn’t say a word, just
pushed the swing a little with his knees until the gentle swaying calmed the rapid pounding of her heart. Her arms were around his neck, her fingers tangled in his hair, and she relaxed against him, until she could feel his heart beating against her forearm. Jenny’s fingers ached to feel his skin under them, and she eased her hand down until it was pressed against his heart, feeling the pounding
that had suddenly accelerated. It was all she could manage for now,
it had to be enough, and he took it gratefully, turning his head to
press a whisper of a kiss on her forehead.

Jenny settled against him, suddenly grateful that she was alive,
that she was in a place she’d never expected to be again. When
Jamie rode away from the ranch that day, she had not given thought
to anything beyond the fact that he was still alive, and then she had thought of nothing but staying alive, until the desire to be
dead and no longer feel the pain and despair had taken over everything else. But now, miraculously, here she was, home, and safely
held in the arms of the man who loved her. She felt the strength
in his thighs as he flexed them beneath her, just that hint of a
movement making the swing sway gently in the crisp air of the fall
afternoon. His arms held her lightly, they were a secure presence that kept her from falling to the porch floor, but did not make her feel trapped. His hair was silky against the skin of her cheek, the
dark length of it warm against her pale skin.