Authors: Katie Reus
Damn it, damn it,
damn it
.
His heart pounded out of control as he raced down the sidewalk of the quiet neighborhood. Blood rushed in his ears with the intensity of a jet engine starting as he tore his mask off.
He shoved it in the back pocket of his black pants as he skidded to a halt next to his BMW. Using the key instead of the key fob because he didn’t want any extra noise, he slid into the front seat. Another flare of panic jumped through him as the overhead dome light came on.
He quickly shut the door and started the engine with shaking hands. He put it into drive as he looked in the rearview mirror. No one was behind him.
No one had followed him. He didn’t allow himself any measure of relief, though. Not yet. Not until he was home. His wife had taken a sleeping pill and he’d disarmed one of the doors in their alarm system so it wouldn’t show up that he’d left. Because he knew she checked. Just because she liked to self-medicate and walk around in a stupor half the time didn’t mean she was stupid.
She was just waiting for him to make a mistake so she could take everything from him. Well, he wouldn’t let that happen. If she left him, she’d do so with nothing. Now he just needed to focus on the problem at hand: Hannah Young.
He’d been patiently waiting in the shadows of her backyard the last few hours for her to return home. From the gossip grapevine at the hospital, he knew she’d gone out with colleagues tonight. Killing her was supposed to have been easy.
He was perfect with a blade. All he’d have to do is stab her right through the heart with a surgeon’s precision and she’d be dead within minutes. He’d planned to stab her a few more times, though, make it look vicious and unskilled before stealing her car and purse. And he would have taken a few things from her house for good measure, making it look like a home invasion gone wrong. He knew how to kill without spilling much blood, and even if her blood had gotten on him, he was destroying everything he’d worn tonight.
But that driver had ruined everything. Those headlights had illuminated him perfectly for anyone to see, for a few heart-stopping seconds. Then Hannah had taken off running and he’d had no choice but to flee. Because he had no clue who’d been in that vehicle and he couldn’t risk taking on someone in addition to Hannah.
Not when killing her was supposed to be quick. There was no room for error in his plan. Unfortunately time was running out.
When Corrine didn’t show up for work on Saturday, he knew that someone would look into it. Soon enough her body would be discovered, and the only person who could link them together was Hannah.
Damn it, he’d been so careful. He wiped a palm across his sweaty brow as he turned down a side street. He glanced in the rearview mirror again, relieved he was still alone on the road. Still, fear slithered through him, alive and growing.
He definitely wasn’t cut out for a life of crime. He didn’t feel bad about what he’d done; he was just protecting his own interests, after all. He’d been focused all his life, able to compartmentalize his high-stress job, but this was different. The fear of getting caught was all consuming.
* * *
Dax shut the door behind the Miami PD patrolman and set Hannah’s dead bolt. He had a security system similar to hers, so he pressed the shortcut stay-mode button on the panel next to her door. He’d already brought the bag he always had with him inside. Extra change of clothes, extra weapon, ammo, and a toiletry set. All he really needed was the weapon and ammo, though.
Without wasting time, he headed back to her kitchen. As soon as the police officer had started wrapping up, she’d headed to her room to change while Dax walked him out. The guy was a former Ranger and since Dax was a former Delta operative, they’d talked shop for a few minutes. Of course he hadn’t been able to tell the guy he’d been Delta, not when his jacket was still classified. Pretty much everyone he worked with at the NSA knew he’d been an operator, but they all had clearance.
Since it was too late for coffee, he rummaged around in her cabinets until he found boxes of different-flavored teas. He picked the box that was almost empty since it was most likely her favorite. Herbal lemon tea and it was caffeine-free. Perfect.
Less than ten minutes later he heard Hannah’s soft footsteps before she appeared in the entryway to the kitchen. She’d pulled her dark hair into a ponytail and washed all traces of makeup from her face. Wearing dark green jogging pants with the University of Miami logo on them and a plain gray hoodie sweater, she looked as if she could still be in college. Even with her red-rimmed eyes, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
Yeah, he’d fallen hard for her.
When he noticed her lips kick up at the corners in faint amusement, his gaze snapped to hers. “What?”
She shook her head slightly. “I recognize that hungry look. After everything that’s happened I figured you’d be ready to get out of here.”
It took a lot to surprise him, but she’d done just that. “First, I’m not going anywhere.” Someone would have to hold a pistol to his head, and even then, it wasn’t happening. He wasn’t leaving her side. “Second . . . shit, that look isn’t intentional. I’m in the same room as you and . . .” He shrugged, then pointed to the small rectangular table next to one of her windows. “Sit. I made tea.”
Lacy white curtains covered the window, but there was a solid backing so he wasn’t worried about someone seeing her inside. And right now he was in über-protective mode. He doubted that prowler was still lurking around her neighborhood, but he couldn’t shut off his need to keep her safe.
“You’re really bossy,” she murmured, but moved to sit, practically collapsing on one of the seats. Yeah, she had to be beyond exhausted by now.
He just grunted and poured her a mug. “Do you want sugar or cream or anything?”
“Just tea is fine. It smells great. How’d you know it was one of my favorites?”
“There were only two packets left in the box, which means you drink it more than the others.” He set it in front of her before sitting on the chair opposite her.
Her eyebrows rose as she lifted the mug to her lips, but she didn’t say anything about his observation.
She visibly relaxed, her shoulders loosening and a pleased sigh escaping her lips after her sip. His own tension lessened seeing her finally relax. Watching him carefully, she bit her bottom lip. A lip he’d nibbled on not too long ago. Her bottom lip was bigger than her top and he always found himself fantasizing about sucking it between his teeth. But now wasn’t the time for that, even if his body had other ideas.
“You seem a little better,” he said quietly.
She nodded. “Yeah, thanks to you. Seriously, Dax, thank you for everything, especially staying for the police. He was nice, but it helped having your support.”
His jaw tightened at her words. “You really think I’d leave you to deal with this?”
“No, not exactly.”
“Not exactly?” He bit the words out, reminding himself to keep it together. She’d just been scared to death; he didn’t need to add more to her plate.
“Not at all. I just meant . . . after the way I left the hotel, I’m surprised you came after me. That’s all.”
He was glad she’d said it, because it saved him having to walk on eggshells trying to find a way to bring up the fact that she’d fucking run out on him for no apparent reason. “Why the hell did you run?”
Glancing down at her mug, she traced a finger around the colorful text declaring her the world’s best nurse. He guessed a young patient must have given it to her before she’d been promoted to chief nursing officer. “You sure we can’t skip this conversation?”
“I’m sure.”
Her gaze snapped up to his, probably because of the forcefulness of his tone. Sighing, she dropped her hand from the mug. “Tonight was supposed to be about me getting you out of my system. Just sex. I was sure it . . . couldn’t have been as good as I remembered.” Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink at the admission.
And just like that he got hard. Well, harder, if that was even possible. He dropped his voice, resisting the urge to move his chair closer to her and pull her into his lap. “And was it as good as you remembered?” They needed to talk, and if they were touching, that would be the last thing on his mind.
Slowly, she shook her head. “It was better.”
The caveman part of his brain did a fist pump in the air. Hell yeah.
Before he could respond, she continued. “I can’t do a friends-with-benefits or casual relationship. I’m thirty-one, Dax, and I know myself by now. I’m not saying I want something super-serious, but I just can’t be in a relationship with someone—someone who wants to meet my family—then not talk for weeks at a time. I’m not hardwired that way, and, well, I don’t have to make excuses. It’s not what I want in my life and I won’t settle. You’re an amazing man and the sex between us, well, you know exactly what it’s like. But that’s not enough.”
Her blunt words got him even harder.
Fuck.
Yeah, he was so screwed where she was concerned. Hannah was it for him. “I don’t want casual either. I also can’t tell you why I couldn’t contact you, but if you could just trust me and wait a couple days, I’ll be able to tell you soon.” Or he really hoped he could. He desperately wanted to ask Hannah how much she knew about her friend Sophie’s husband Jack’s former profession. But if he did that and she didn’t know, he could put her friend in an awkward position. And it would be too close to walking the line of sharing information for him. He had to wait until he had clearance from Burkhart.
She paused for a long moment but finally nodded. “Okay. But no more sex until you lay everything out there.”
All his muscles tensed in anticipation. He’d wait as long as it took. “Fine. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend time with you.”
Her lips curved up then, as if she liked his answer. “Are you working tomorrow?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Training stuff.” He was running weapons-training exercises with three of his guys and a small team of DEA agents. They liked to do joint operations, especially in Miami, where there was a smorgasbord of government agencies. But he couldn’t tell her that.
“When do you get off?”
The way she said “get off” brought up all sorts of images. She must have read his expression, because she shook her head. “Pervert,” she muttered.
He grinned, liking the camaraderie between them, as if part of that wall she’d erected had been knocked down. “Not sure of the exact time, but between four and seven.” It was a broad window, but he just never knew. He glanced over at her oven clock and inwardly winced. Hell, it was already tomorrow. He’d have to head in soon enough.
“Oh my God, I didn’t realize the time.” Her voice was strained when he looked back at her. “Dax, I’m—”
“Don’t say you’re sorry.” Moving the chair around the small table, he slid closer until one of his knees slid between her open legs.
She sucked in a breath at the contact but didn’t move away. Reaching out, he pushed the boundaries a little further and cupped her cheek. To his relief, she turned into his hold. He gently rubbed her soft skin with his thumb. He knew she was working today too because the cop from earlier had asked about her schedule for a follow-up. “What time do you go in today?” Because it was almost three in the morning.
“Not until nine, and I’ve got board meetings all day. Listen, it’s late, so if you want to leave—”
He snorted, cutting her off, and moved lightning fast, leaning forward until he’d closed the distance between them and his lips covered hers. She melted into him, her fingers digging into his shoulders as she let out a soft moan into his mouth. Damn, he should be completely sated from earlier, but he was as hard as stone and ready to take her on the kitchen floor.
That citrusy, exotic scent of hers was stronger now, as if she’d put on lotion when she’d been upstairs. It couldn’t hide her underlying, natural scent, which was all Hannah. Before he completely lost his head, he tore himself away from her.
His heart pounded an erratic rhythm against his chest as he stared into her espresso-colored eyes. “I’ll sleep on the couch or a guest bed, but I’m not fucking leaving.”
She swallowed audibly enough for him to hear as she nodded. “Thank you. I don’t want to be alone tonight. And . . . if you want, you can sleep with me. Just sleep.”
The hesitancy in her voice stunned him. There was no place he’d rather be. “I want to.” He leaned back a fraction, putting some distance between them, because God help him, he wanted to kiss her again. Her taste was already imprinted in his mind, and like a junkie, he couldn’t get enough. “Why did you ask me if I was working?”
She stared at him in confusion for a moment, as if she’d forgotten her original question, but then her cheeks tinged that beautiful shade of pink again. “Don’t feel like you have to say yes, but there’s a work thing tomorrow—”
“Yes.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”
He shrugged because it didn’t matter. If she was asking him, letting him into her life, he was there.
Suddenly she grinned wickedly and leaned forward so that their mouths were almost touching. “How do you feel about costume parties?”
With the exception of a couple of Halloween parties he’d been to back in his Army days, he’d never been to a costume anything. But the thought of Hannah dressed up as a sexy nurse was insanely hot. She’d never actually said that would be her costume, but a guy could dream. “I’m in,” he rasped out.
“So what are you wearing tonight?” Shaun asked, leaning against the coffee machine as Hannah grabbed a bottle of water from the vending machine next to it.
She shot her friend a sly look, a grin tugging at her lips. “Would a naughty nurse be too much?”
His eyes widened. “You aren’t!”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re right, of course I’m
not
. But I found a cool vintage World War II nurse’s uniform that I’m going to wear.”
Shaun shook his head. “Boring.”
“It’s either that or corpse bride because they’re the only two costumes I have right now.” The corpse bride was from last Halloween.
“Oh, do that. I’ve got a Jack Skellington costume I can wear.”
She lifted an eyebrow, moving out of the way of the vending machine as a harried-looking mother with a toddler in tow made a beeline for one of the snack machines. “You just randomly have a Jack Skellington costume?”
“I’ve got
many
costumes, most not appropriate for a work party. Come on, it’ll be fun if we do a theme.”
“Fine, let’s match, you freak.”
He grinned, his ridiculously adorable dimples flashing in his cheeks. He started to respond when his name came over the comm system. Frowning, he glanced at his watch. “Break time’s over,” he muttered and stepped out of the small alcove into the main hall. “Walk with me?”
She nodded, following him, water in hand. “I’ve got another meeting that way anyway.” Only two more and she was done for the day. After last night, or this morning, she was beyond exhausted and ready to get out of here—and see Dax again. She’d been distracted all day thinking about him. He’d left an hour before she had this morning with instructions to set her alarm and be alert as she walked to her car. He’d been worse than her mother, but she’d kind of loved it.
Knowing that he cared so much about her well-being touched her on a deep level. Hannah was still trying to keep her guard up around her heart until he explained his strange absence, though. She’d even tried calling Sophie to see if her friend could explain why Dax would just disappear like that, but she hadn’t answered. Hannah figured she and Jack were on one of those deep-sea fishing trips they liked to take together, out far enough where they got no cell service. Well, she knew Jack had a satellite phone, but calling that to ask about Dax didn’t exactly qualify as an emergency.
“Uh-oh, one o’clock pervert sighting,” Shaun muttered next to her, snapping Hannah out of her daze as she walked with him.
A ball of lead immediately hardened in her stomach at the sight of two doctors she could have done without seeing today. Or ever. Joseph Sandor was head of surgery and an all-around misogynistic creep. And René Harvey was just a jerk. René’s cousin had wanted Hannah’s position but hadn’t gotten it, so he was snide with her more often than not—insinuating she’d gotten her job by sleeping around when she’d never even slept with anyone at the hospital. Hell no, she didn’t mix her personal life with work, ever. Which was more than she could say for the two men heading their way.
“Keep walking,” she muttered. She so did not have time for Harvey’s crap today. She pulled her phone out of her pants pocket and glanced at the caller ID, partially to pretend she was doing something and also because she wanted to see if Dax had texted her back from earlier. Not that she was obsessively checking or anything.
Right.
“Hannah,” Dr. Sandor said, his deep voice booming loudly in the hallway.
She started to cringe, then caught her outward reaction. Pasting on a fake smile, she turned to both of them and nodded once in acknowledgment. “Doctors.”
“I heard the board meeting went well this morning,” Sandor said, his dark eyes assessing her.
She nodded and resisted the urge to grit her teeth. Those meetings were supposed to be confidential, but he loved reminding her and anyone who would listen that he knew everything about everyone. It was obnoxious.
“Are you two
lovely
doctors going to the party tonight?” Shaun asked, laying on his gay-girlfriend persona thick for them, knowing it annoyed both men. “Well, I know you are,” he said before they could respond, looking at Sandor since his wife was the one hosting it.
Harvey shifted uncomfortably and nodded, glancing away from both of them as he pulled out his cell phone. “Yeah, gotta run,” he muttered before hurrying away in the opposite direction.
Relief spread through Hannah that she’d missed another obnoxious run-in with the man. She’d heard a rumor that he might be transferring to a different hospital, so she was crossing her fingers that it happened sooner rather than later.
After ten seconds of bullshit small talk, she and Shaun managed to tear away from Sandor. She managed not to make any smart-ass comments as they reached the elevators at the end of the hall, but only because she knew anyone could overhear her. She pulled her cell phone out again as Shaun pressed the button.
“That’s the tenth time you’ve checked that thing since the vending machines. Is this about the delicious man from the bar last night?”
She hadn’t told Shaun who he was or what had happened at her house either, because talking about the almost-attack made it far too real. And she didn’t want to bring that crap into work, not when this was the only place she felt safe. “Maybe.” Her lips twitched as she fought a smile.
“Oh, I want details stat. I haven’t gotten laid in weeks,” he said.
With half a dozen other people already inside the elevator with them, she shook her head at Shaun and moved her two fingers over her lips as if she was pulling a zipper. She hadn’t told anyone from work about Dax, wanting to keep him all to herself. When he’d pulled that Houdini act a couple of weeks ago, she’d been glad she hadn’t gushed to her friends about him. She wouldn’t tell anyone but Sophie until things were clear between her and Dax.
Shaun muttered something about getting her to confess as the elevator jerked to life, but she just shook her head and shoved her phone back in her pocket. Two more meetings; then she could get out of here and finally see Dax again.
The anticipation humming through her was more intense than anything she’d ever felt, the hunger burning her up from the inside out. Of course, now that she’d told him they wouldn’t be having sex until he explained his little disappearing act to her, she wanted him even more. But she wasn’t going to cave on this.
* * *
Dax tapped his boot against the hardwood floor of the debriefing room he was in with the DEA guys and the rest of his four-man team.
“What’s got into you, man?” Nathan Ortiz muttered under his breath next to him, his question barely audible as Freeman, another member of their tactical team, was pointing out to the DEA guys what they could have done differently during the day’s training exercise. Ortiz had recently been recruited for something else, something only whispered about within the agency: to be a Black Death 9 agent. But he still did assault missions with them and trained with them on a regular basis, and he’d been on the mission to whatever jungle they’d been in a couple of weeks ago. Dax was glad to still be working with him because he knew those agents sometimes left for months or years at a time for deep undercover work.
Dax didn’t look at Ortiz but shot another glance at the door. It was after eight fucking o’clock and they should have been out of here hours ago. Because one of the newbie analysts had fucked up with one of the training drones, everyone had been ordered to stay at the training warehouse until Burkhart got here. And of course they were on total radio silence, so he couldn’t call Hannah to tell her he’d be delayed. “Nothing,” he said through gritted teeth.
“This about a woman?” Ortiz asked just as quietly as before.
Dax shot him a look and Ortiz grinned, showing perfect white teeth. “Who is she? I know her?”
“Fuck you,” Dax muttered, a smile tugging at his lips.
“Come on, when do I get to meet her?”
“How about fucking never?”
“You two ladies have something you want to share with the rest of the group?” Freeman abruptly asked, his laser-like focus on the two of them.
“Not unless you want the rest of the group to know how amazing your sister gives—” Ortiz ducked as Freeman threw a pen at his head.
Despite the tension threading through him, Dax let out a laugh. When the door suddenly opened and Wesley Burkhart strode through, Dax was on his feet in an instant. Burkhart’s eyebrows moved together a fraction, which for him was pretty much all the reaction anyone could ever expect from the head of the NSA. “You guys are good to go. Get the hell out of here. Costas, you wanted to see me?”
Dax nodded and ignored the curious looks from Bell and Freeman. He’d tell them what was going on later, but for now, Hannah was his business. Once the room cleared out, Dax just jumped into what he needed to say. “Hannah Young—how much clearance does she have to know about me and what I do?”
Burkhart stood there for a long moment, assessing Dax in that eerie way he did, as if he was seeing right into his head. “Why?” For some reason Dax was under the impression that Burkhart already knew.
Dax was damn good at reading most people, but Burkhart wasn’t most people. As the head of the NSA, he was a man used to keeping secrets. The kind Dax had no desire to ever know. “We’re . . . together.” Dating seemed like a stupid description of what he felt for her. “She’s pissed that I disappeared for two weeks without telling her anything and I don’t blame her. This relationship is serious for me and I don’t know the protocol for this type of situation.”
“Is it serious for her?” The question took Dax off guard, something that almost never happened.
“I think it could be. But not if I have to lie to her all the time.” He knew Hannah was the type of woman who could handle work separations, but honesty would be key to their relationship.
“If this was a regular civilian the situation would be different, but the entire Young family was vetted after the incident a year ago.” Incident was such a calm word for how the NSA had stopped the leader of a drug cartel from unleashing hell on the United States with the help of a terrorist faction in North Africa. “We’ve been keeping tabs on them, and after their help with the other incident not too long ago . . . you’re cleared to tell her that you’re a federal agent. If you get called away you’ll be able to tell her you’ll be gone, but that’s it. Something I know you already know. If things become truly serious and you get married, she’ll be brought in and you’ll both undergo interviews and, well, you know the drill. For now, you can be somewhat honest without spilling secrets.”
A weight he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying lifted from his chest and shoulders. “Thank you.”
Burkhart just grunted. “Next time you want Karen to track your girlfriend, clear it through me first.”
“You know about that?” he asked, even though it was a stupid question.
Now Burkhart rolled his eyes, the first time Dax had ever seen him do it. “Get the hell out of here.”
“Thanks, boss.” Now he had to call Hannah and explain why he was going to be late tonight, but at least when he saw her he could be open with her about what he did for a living. Even if he couldn’t tell her everything, he didn’t have to fucking lie anymore. He’d never had a problem with that before, not when it came to his job or missions.
Until Hannah. He wanted her in every facet of his life and planned to start tonight.