Chasing Love's Wings (26 page)

She had told me, several times, that Cami would be back, though I don’t think either
one of us expected it to be after finding Cami in the hospital. But still, she is
here.
 

“I don’t know if I have the energy for this.”
 

“For eating? You always have energy for eating. We’re cooking.”
 

I help Cami into the kitchen and everyone smiles at her. It’s nice to see. Travis,
my best friend on this planet, comes over first. He bypasses me to hug my girl. “Welcome
home,” he says. “Missed you, small fry.”
 

Cami laughs. “Same here.”
 

One by one they all file over and give Cami a hug, kisses and huge welcome-homes.
I get the usual pat on the back plus some attaboys when it comes to the fact that
I managed to knock her up. Well, those were Travis’s words.

I can’t pull my eyes away from her; she is so beautiful. Though exhaustion is running
hot in her veins, she still has this radiant glow about her. She catches me staring
more than a few times and smiles at me. She is warm and carefree and I watch as every
once in a while her hand comes to rest against her stomach. After the second time,
I stop asking if she’s okay. “Sometimes I still don’t believe it. That’s all.” I can’t
help but smile at her. I can’t believe it either, but I’m not sure I’ve ever been
happier.
 

After we finish eating, our friends clean up and Cami goes upstairs to lie down. It
is killing me; I want to be up there with her, but I don’t want to be rude to our
friends. I help them finish up.
 

“How are you doing?” Beau asks me, but quietly and away from prying ears.
 

“I’m good. I won’t lie, I’m freaked out, and I worried about her, but I’m okay.”
 

“Good.” She leans in a little closer. “Go to her. We got this.”
 

“Are you sure?”
 

“Absolutely. I’ve already told them, don’t worry about it. We’ll see you guys on Sunday.
The game is on.” She’s such a football fan; I love it.
 

“All right, sounds like a plan. That will give her a couple of days to rest. Thanks.
For everything.”
 

“It’s what friends are for. Just remember, she’s just as torn up as you are. I know
what she did was wrong, she knows it too, but she is also very hurt by what her father
has done to her. No, she had no right to hold you responsible for that and make you
suffer, but remember, she’s spent her entire life alone.” She kisses me on the cheek
and then everyone else joins us.
 

“I can’t thank you guys enough.” They all smile at me. “For this and for everything
else you’ve done these last few weeks.” I manage to bite my tongue to stop myself
from just completely breaking down. Everything is crashing down on me, and I finally
realize the gravity of what these people standing here really mean to me.
 

“We’re always here for you. Both of you,” Naomi says. “But now that we’re all stuffed
to the gills, we’re going home to pass out.”
 

Everyone laughs. “I’m right there with you.” I can’t stop my eyes from darting to
the ceiling as though I can see her through the two floors.
 

“We’ll get out of here. Sunday for the game?” Tyson says.

“Absolutely.”
 

Tyson comes over to me. “Don’t go anywhere without me this weekend. The stores will
be packed. If you need anything, call. We’ll get it and bring it over. We stocked
up the fridge and the kitchen a little bit, so you’ve got plenty of food, plus leftovers.”

“Thanks, Ty.”
 

After a couple more minutes of the pity eyes and ‘Are you okay?’ stares, they leave
to go back to their houses and I look at the clock. It’s four in the afternoon.

I climb the two flights of stairs to Cami’s bedroom. When I come around the corner
she is sitting up on the bed. She’s crying. “Cams, what’s wrong?” I can’t hide the
worry in my voice.
 

“I’m so tired, and I can’t sleep.”
 

I walk over to the bed. “So why are you crying?”
 

“I don’t know,” she says through sobs and I climb onto the bed with her.
 

“Want to take a bath?”
 

She nods.
 

“Okay, give me a minute.”
 

I kiss her cheek and climb off of the bed. I head into the bathroom and turn the dimmer
down low so that the room has a soft glow about it. It’s relaxing; at least, that
is the mood I’m going for. I want her to be able to relax enough so that she can fall
asleep.
 

I start up the water and pour in some of her lavender bubble bath, and when I get
up to go and get her she is standing in the doorway. My eyes land on her feet and
I very lazily move them up her legs. She’s shed her clothes along the way and she
stands before me naked, and it steals my breath away.
 

Between her hips is a beautiful swell that reminds me that she’s pregnant and I’m
going to be a father. But my eyes continue their inspection of her beautiful body.
Her bellybutton ring glistens in the light of the bathroom, and my eyes slide up to
her breasts; they’re bigger — not much, but slightly — and the beautiful points of
her nipples are darker. I see her shoulder tattoos and then the line of her jaw and
her face. She is staring at me.
 

Our eyes meet. “You’re beautiful.” Then, as if the weight of the world comes crashing
down on me, I start crying.
 

I close my eyes, trying to stop the tears from escaping my eyes, but I fail and I
can feel her standing in front of me. Her hand goes into my hair. “Please don’t cry.
I can’t bear it. Everything I’ve put you through. Tristan, I am so sorry. Can you
ever forgive me?”
 

Forgive her? “Of course, I can and I do. Cami.” I look up to meet her tear-filled
eyes. “Sweets, I love you.” I stand up. “Nothing in this world will ever change that.
But please, dear God, never run away from me again.” I take her head in my hands.
“I can’t bear it.” I lean down and our lips meet. I kiss her — softly, warmly, and
lovingly. I feel her tears hit my hands. “We’re both beyond exhausted. Let’s get you
in the bath, then we can go to bed.”
 

She nods. “I like that idea.” Then she reaches for my shirt. “Join me, please,” she
breathes, and I can’t resist her. She slides my shirt over my head, then she finds
my dragon and she kisses him, and my heart burns with the love I can no longer hold
back from her. Her hand slides down along my stomach to the button of my pants, undoing
them quickly and sliding them down my legs. I really wish that her beautiful nakedness
hadn’t woken up the monster in my pants, but he’s missed her as much as I have.
 

I’m thankful when she ignores it. Now is not the time to get worked up.
 

I step into the tub and hold my hand out for her. She takes it and climbs in. I sit
down, much like I did all those months ago after she cut her foot, and she slides
down on my thighs. I kiss her shoulder and hold her close to me, savoring the touch
of her skin against mine, and I’m content to just sit here. But I begin lathering
up her sponge, and she pulls her hair off to the side, then leans forward, and I begin
washing her shoulders and down her back. “No ribbon?” I ask when I notice that her
corset is empty.
 

“No, I pulled it out because it was bugging me. I’ve just never restrung it.”
 

“We’ll have to fix that.” I wash her back, and when I’m done she leans against me,
her soapy back against my front, and I hold onto her for a little while before I begin
working on washing her front.
 

I can hear her breathing change when I start at her chest and work my way down her
body. I don’t linger, but my hand rubs along her belly and I drop the sponge and place
my hand there and kiss her shoulder. Her hand slides over mine and we just sit there.
 

“I never imagined being a father until you came into my life. I’m not sure I ever
imagined getting married to a woman I loved more than anything. I’ve always been afraid
that I would settle for someone because I thought they made me happy.” She turns in
my arms to face me. “But these last six weeks have proven that I love you more than
life itself. Cameron, I never want to lose you; no matter what comes between us, we
can and we will work through it, we always do. Say you’ll marry me?” I look into her
eyes, searching her soul, searching for everything I need to see, and it’s all there:
love, devotion, admiration, and lastly happiness.

“Yes,” she breathes. She takes my head in her hands and her lips are on mine, hotter
and more passionate. “I love you,” she breathes and kisses me again.
 

“I love you,” I breathe. She kisses me again and the whole world stops spinning. This
woman is all that matters to me; nothing else matters, nothing else is more important
than she is.
 

I pull back, and we finish our bath.
 

When we climb out, I throw a towel around my waist and take my time drying her off,
gently, from head to toe. I can see the exhaustion washing over her and it is the
reason I stopped our kissing. She needs to rest, and right now, I want nothing more
than to have her in my arms and fall asleep.
 

We crawl into bed and do just that. She snuggles up to me, her back to my front, and
I wrap my arms around her, holding her to me tighter than I probably should, but if
it weren’t for the pain I feel at the loss I’ve endured, I’d think I was dreaming.

THIRTY-NINE

******

Cami

******

When I stir in bed, it is still dark outside. Wait, it was light when I went to sleep.
I can feel Tristan wrapped around me and his breath caressing my shoulder. I manage
to bring my eyes to the clock. It’s four thirty in the morning. I’ve slept for nearly
twelve hours, but I feel as though I could fall right back to sleep. If it weren’t
for feeling Tristan at my back, I would’ve panicked when I woke up, but I realize
this isn’t a dream.
 

I’ve been walking around in this dream-like state for weeks — barely getting through
life, barely breathing. But for the first time since all of the Bobby bullshit started,
I finally feel like the weight of the world is gone from my shoulders.
 

Other things start to come to me, all the things I’ve neglected these last six weeks:
the house, Bold, Tristan, us, and life.
 

When I discovered I was pregnant, I panicked about what Tristan would think, what
he would say. I was so afraid he’d be angry with me, and I can tell that I was extremely
stupid about that and it kills me knowing what I know now. His reaction to the way
I look reiterates the fact that I was wrong; he’s not disgusted or turned off by it.
When we climbed into the bathtub, and even when we crawled out, he had an erection,
and even when we crawled into bed, it hadn’t gone away, but he made no move to do
anything about it, putting my needs before his own. After everything I’ve put him
through, I am so selfish.
 

I can’t lie here anymore. But I can’t move either. I wouldn’t move if I didn’t feel
as though my bladder were going to explode. I move slowly, hoping and praying that
he will stay asleep. I’ve managed to move his arm, and his breathing hasn’t changed.
Sliding off of the bed slowly and quietly, I race toward the bathroom.
 

Then I realize that this is the first morning I’ve woken up without the pressing need
to throw up, and I smile a little bit. Maybe I’m finally moving past the morning sickness.
Thank God, because I miss food — at least eating like a pig, anyway.
 

When I come out of the bathroom, Tristan is still asleep on the bed and I can see
him in the light of the moon coming through the curtains. I stand there in the doorway,
just looking, just watching him sleep.
What have I ever done to deserve you?
I ask myself, and it’s something I can’t answer. But I do know that I will spend
the rest of my life making sure he knows how much I love him.

I stand there a couple more minutes before I return to bed, reversing the process
I used to get out, hoping that he’ll stay asleep. If he wakes, he doesn’t move or
indicate as much, and I curl back into my spot. I pick his arm up and wrap it around
myself, and he pulls me into him, burying his face in my hair. I hear his deep inhale
and he squeezes a little tighter. “I love you,” he breathes.
 

“Ditto,” I whisper, and his breathing changes when he smiles into my hair, but we
don’t say another word to each other as we both fall back to sleep.
 

The smell of eggs and bacon wakes me up sometime later, and Tristan sits down on the
side of the bed. “Breakfast in bed,” he says with a smile, and it warms my heart.
 

“After I um...” I scramble out of the bed and head for the bathroom. I shut the door
behind me, and after a moment he knocks.
 

“You okay?”
 

I can hear the worry in his voice. “Yeah, I just had to pee.”
 

I can hear him laugh, and the laugh fades as he walks away from the door. I finish
up and wash my hands. When I open the door he is standing there, holding a tray, and
I smile. “Hi, beautiful.”
 

“Hi beautiful yourself,” I say back, and I can’t help the smile that spreads across
my lips as I crawl into bed. I prop the pillows against the padded headboard and I
pull the sheets up to my lap. Once I’m settled in, he puts the tray down in front
of me and pulls back the dome from the plate.