Authors: Jennifer Ryan
She walked into the dining area near the galley and handed Jack back his phone. They overheard the conversation and sat in tense silence.
“He deserved it.” She shrugged. Her stomach grumbled as the amazing food aromas hit her.
“You’ll get no argument from us,” Sam agreed for everyone.
That said, they went on with their meal and conversation. Reticent about her at first, it seemed they waited for her to predict gloom and doom. When they realized she wasn’t going to start forecasting the future and talking about the flow of energy and how it related to the alignment of the stars, they relaxed. From there, it was like she’d been a part of the group all along. Sitting with friends, talking about their lives, and enjoying the wonderful food—definitely one of the best nights of her life.
T
YLER STARED AT
the woman across the restaurant. Pretty, she sort of looked like Morgan. Shorter hair, a rounder face, but the family resemblance remained strong. He remembered Sam saying Morgan came to see her sister sometimes and something pulled at him to see her today.
Jillian, married with a daughter, three, and a son, almost two. A graduate from the University of California–Berkeley, she held a master’s degree in education and taught at a local junior college.
An aunt in West Virginia raised her until she’d come west to attend college. She’d never returned. Instead, she’d taken the job at the college and married.
He’d followed her and her family from their well-kept three-bedroom ranch-style house in a nice track, close to an elementary school. He imagined they picked it because of its proximity to the school and low-crime neighborhood.
Unlike Morgan, she’d had every privilege and advantage. She’d grown up in a secure home with her aunt. She’d gone to one of the best universities in the country, gotten a great job right out of college, found the perfect guy, and proceeded to have two-point-five kids. He bet they had a family dog or cat. He hadn’t seen one, but he imagined a family pet.
As they sat at their table across the cozy family-style restaurant, he knew they were one of those families people envied. They had it all, and here he sat spying on them, hoping Morgan would show up for a visit.
“I wouldn’t want to disappoint you,” Morgan said from behind him. She leaned over the back of his booth, and with her head next to his, said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
Surprised to see her, he’d also been expecting her to show up. After avoiding him for almost four days, and Sam enjoying every minute of harassing him about it, finally seeing her again made him happier than he wanted to admit.
“Yes, she is.”
Morgan came around the booth, and instead of sitting across from him, she surprised him and scooted in next to him. She smiled when he made room for her and offered her a sip of his iced tea and some chips and guacamole.
“She’s got it all, a husband, kids, nice house in a good neighborhood, a fancy education, and a good job. Everything a girl could want out of life. Her husband adores her. They’re great with the kids. It’s all so picture perfect.”
She sat there staring at her sister. Jillian, so close and so far away. She wished she could go over to the table and say hello. She’d love to spend time with her niece and nephew. She remembered the family dinner Tyler had with the whole family and thought how sad she’d never have that with her own family. Her father hated her and wanted her in his pocket, or dead. Her sister hated her and wanted to forget she existed.
On the other hand, she liked sitting with Tyler when he was calm.
He took a sip of his drink after she passed it back to him. Intimate, and the first time they’d shared anything besides a conversation. He sat back and looked at Morgan’s sister and her family. “That’s just what I was sitting here thinking. Are you reading my mind?”
“No mind reading today. Besides, you won’t let me anymore. You’re all closed up. No trespassing signs posted everywhere.”
“Is that right?”
“Yep. You’ve tucked away the anger. Are you trying to throw me off?”
He’d spent a lot of time over the last few days thinking about the past couple of years and wondering why he was angry with Morgan. She hadn’t done anything to him, except come into his life unexpectedly and help him save his sister. She’d spent the last five years helping solve some tough cases, and she’d waited all that time to save Matt.
She’d always been there for him when he needed her, even when he hadn’t realized he’d needed her. He didn’t want to admit he’d needed a huge wake-up call where Maria and the other women in his life were concerned. He’d been going through the motions. If he wanted more, he’d have to give more.
He’d blamed her for things all his doing. What was the saying? Something about you hurt the ones closest to you. He’d spent far too much time hurting Morgan, instead of thanking her for everything she’d done for him.
She was right, their connection scared him. He’d never attempted to go down that rabbit hole and see if he could see and feel her the way she so easily did with him.
He’d made this mess. He’d have to dig himself out. He wanted a new start with Morgan, and he hoped she’d give him a second chance, because scared or not, he needed that connection with her.
“How about we start where we should have started in the first place?”
“Okay. And just where do you think that should be?”
He turned toward her in the booth, shifting his over six-foot frame, so he could look at her while he talked.
“My name’s Tyler Reed. I’m an FBI agent. I believe in psychics, and I’m partial to a particular one, who has a habit of saving my family and friends from being killed. She’s also really good at solving complicated cases for the FBI. She always knows when I need her, and I miss hearing her talk to me in my mind. It’s nice to finally see you again.”
He wanted to touch her. Sometimes, she didn’t seem real. Like right now. Here she was, finally, and he had a hard time believing she wasn’t a ghost.
“I should have said that to you at dinner last week. Instead I acted like a jackass. I’m sorry.” He touched her cheek lightly with his fingertips and ran his fingers through her gorgeous blond hair. It felt like silk running through is fingers.
“I’ve been a complete bastard to you lately, and even worse, I never gave you back even half of what you’ve given me. You know a million little things about me, my friends, my family, and my work. You know my hopes, my dreams, and my life. I’d like a chance to know a million little things about you.”
“Wow. Is that how you got Maria and the others into bed?”
Flip, and a little snide to comment on the superficial relationships he’d had, but he deserved it. Sure, he’d demanded she tell him where she lived, but that was more from frustration about her keeping secrets from him than a real wanting to see her. She wanted to be sure this was really how he felt, and not just words in an attempt to get her to forgive him.
“No.” So she wanted him to eat crow. He deserved it. He’d done everything wrong with Morgan, starting with not being a good friend. He wanted more than that from her. He smiled and put his hand over hers on the table. “They thought I was sexy and mysterious. The FBI thing is a chick magnet, so getting them into bed was easy because that’s all I was trying to do, really.”
“Ah, so sexy guy plus FBI badge equals chicks between the sheets. I hadn’t considered that equation.”
“God, I missed your sense of humor.” She was laughing at him. “You hadn’t considered it for yourself, or that it’s how I’ve been living my life?” he teased back.
He’d give his left arm for her to tell him all it took for her to be his was for him to look good and be an FBI agent. That was never going to work with Morgan. Even if it would, he’d be doing the same thing he’d done for years. It hadn’t worked out for him so far, and he wanted things between them to be different.
He
wanted to be different with her.
“Random sexual relationships based on sex appeal and dangerous jobs aren’t really my style. Besides, the whole psychic thing really turns guys off. Who wants a girlfriend who instead of asking you what you’re thinking, actually knows without you saying anything. I’m great to show off at parties. It’s always, ‘Look what my girlfriend can do.’ Isn’t she creepy, strange, weird? Fill in the blank. I gave up on all that at nineteen.”
“That’s about the time you and I met,” he said and sat up a little straighter and puffed out his chest.
She laughed. “Don’t flatter yourself, sexy FBI man.”
“You really think I’m sexy?” Her answer really mattered. He wanted her to think of him as a man, and not just the voice on the phone. Or worse, the asshole he’d been lately.
“What’s not to like? You’re the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. It doesn’t make up for your shitty attitude, or your lack of good judgment.”
“Well, damn, honey. Don’t sugarcoat it.” At her dismissive shrug, he turned serious. “You’re right. That’s why, where you’re concerned, I’m determined to redeem myself. So, tell me why you gave up on the male species.”
Eyes locked on her sister’s table, she answered, “You and I have a lot in common. We both think that”—she pointed to her sister and her family—“doesn’t exist for us.”
“We both know why I don’t think that exists for me. Sam, Jack, and Cameron took all the great women, and you think I have a shitty attitude and lack good judgment. Besides, I have a job that consumes my life. No woman wants to come second to a murderer, or endless paperwork. Let’s not forget waiting at home wondering if I’m coming home at all. So, why don’t you think you can have a life like that?” He squeezed her hand and leaned closer. He didn’t want her to think he was angry about her assessment. Hard to argue with the truth.
“Like I said, I’m a lot to deal with on a daily basis.”
She didn’t elaborate, so he waited her out. This time he wasn’t going to let her get away with a short answer.
“It isn’t easy to be around me all the time. How’d you like to take me out to dinner in a nice restaurant only to have to leave before dinner is served because I can’t handle the other people? Or leave halfway through a movie? Maybe in the middle of an important conversation I completely blank out on you because I’m having a vision. You’ve got a glimpse of what it’s like to have me in your life. You said it yourself: I know things about you, your friends, and your life. You got sick of it. You got sick of me.”
“That’s not true,” he said adamantly. “I admit, having you talk to me in my head and always knowing what I was thinking or feeling was odd. But it never made me sick of you. In fact, I miss you.” He took a deep breath. Opening up and talking about his feelings was not his way, but he needed her to understand. He didn’t want to lose her again because he didn’t speak up.
“The thing is, after you left, I felt like a part of me was missing, too. I still feel that way. I got used to you being in there, being a part of me. When you were gone, and I couldn’t get you back, it made me angry. I want you back. Tell me how I get you to come back.”
“That’s just it, I don’t know. I don’t know how that happened in the first place. You’re the only person I’ve ever connected with on such a deep level.”
That revelation floored him. “I thought you could connect with anyone like that.”
Jealous, he’d thought she might have that kind of intimate connection with someone else, which contributed to his anger when she left. Jealous. An emotion he only felt because of her.
“I thought you just didn’t want to be with me anymore.” Looking at her now, he could see that wasn’t the case. She might hide her feelings as well as he did, but he could see she cared for him. That’s all he needed to know, because he was beginning to realize just how deep his feelings ran for her.
He traced his fingers over the back of her hand. “You really can’t connect with someone and talk to them in their minds like you did with me?”
“I sometimes know what people are thinking, but it’s in the moment and when they’re with me. It’s a combination of body language, human response, and telepathy. I’m not always right, but I’m pretty good. Let’s say, it isn’t my specialty. Five years ago, I saw you in that restaurant and something about you pulled at me. I needed to talk to you. I saw the vision of your sister, but there was more, something elemental about our meeting. Call it fate, meant to be, or whatever you want. We were supposed to meet. And during that meeting I connected with you on a basic level. Ever since then, you’ve been fighting yourself and me on it. You don’t understand it, so you push it away. I guess the fight finally won. I can’t hear or feel you anymore.”
And it made her sad.
He’d been the only person in her life who accepted her for who she was and what she could do. Losing her connection to Tyler had been like losing a part of herself. Saying she missed him was too simple. She’d always felt alone because of her gift. Now, without Tyler, she was lonely, and it wasn’t a feeling she ever wanted to get used to. Lonely is an emptiness that spreads through you, blocking out any ray of happiness.
Tyler missed her, and it was a loneliness he’d been feeling for too long. He wanted the connection between them back. The only way he knew how to show her how much was to connect with her on another level. He ran his fingers through her hair to the back of her neck and pulled her closer.
A simple touching of lips, soft and sweet. She hadn’t expected the kiss, but she welcomed him. From the first touch, a slow warmth spread through him, replacing the gnawing loneliness.
She felt like home.
Her fingers dug into his shoulders, holding him close. She must feel it, too.
The kiss was short. Sitting in a public place, he didn’t want to make their first kiss a spectator event. They began in a restaurant, and he felt like something new was happening between them again in this restaurant.
He wanted to keep kissing her, but knew he couldn’t, shouldn’t.
“I’ve waited more than five years to do that. I didn’t realize it, until just now, but I wanted to kiss you all those years ago. I think the thing with my sister just overshadowed everything else. That, and you took off before I could even ask any questions, or thank you.”