Chasing Shadows (19 page)

I nod. “You’re cool man. Don’t stress about
anything okay?” He laughs. I laugh too. “So, is that why you bought
so many hygiene products?”

He laughs some more. “Awe Meegan, you should’ve
seen me. I don’t know what you use, or don’t use so I tried to get
one of everything. Then what if you didn’t like the scent? So I got
two or three of everything in different scents. Then what if you
thought I was crazy for buying all of that? So I had to hide some
of it when I got home. But what if the ones I left out were the
wrong ones? So I put some more out but then it was too much again.
Then I put some away. Crap, I only
just
stopped myself from
making a second trip to buy a totally different batch of
products.”

I smile. “You did great. You didn’t have to do
any of that, and I totally appreciate it.”

Schuyler wraps his arm around my shoulders. “So
I would like to request that you make a list of the products you
like, just in case I ever run out of Effexor again.” I giggle. “At
least I knew which boots to get.”

“I sort of wish you hadn’t. Then I’d have a
whole brand new shoe wardrobe right now.”

“Sure, exploit the disabled man.”

I scoff. “You’re not disabled.”

“Whatever.”

“So where are we going tonight?”

“I don’t know.” Schuyler says. “We could go
eat. My brother’s having a party. We’d have to dress up for that.
My dad’s throwing a party. We’d have to
really
dress up for
that... I know of a few other parties, socialite things. There’s a
guy from group who’s having a get together on the West Side. We
could go to a haunted house. We
could
stay in and watch
movies, but I might not be able to sit still for that.”

I raise my eyebrows, contemplating. “Let’s get
some food, then hit a haunted house, then go to Golden Waffle to
watch the college kids act stupid. No costumes, not for me anyway,
and no public transit. Halloween is a bad night for the subway.
Then, if it’s still early, we can try the movie thing, or
not.”

“So you don’t want to meet my
family?”

I can’t tell if he’s upset or not. “What if I
was a sex worker, and they know me that way?
You
want me to
meet your family?”

Schuyler stares at me. “I forgot about that
part. I was just thinking about the Holiday, but I see how that
could be awkward. Especially my brother. He’d tell me what you were
like, and then I’d never get it out of my head.”

I shudder. “I don’t want to think about
that.”

“What, sex with my brother? He looks just like
me. I should be insulted.”

I laugh. “Not your brother in particular just
sex I have no memory of. Anyone I meet could have fucked me, and
I’d never know it. I mean, that was always true, but it didn’t
creep me out before like it does now that there’s all this Kelly,
Madeline crap.”

“Fair enough. Let’s make coffee.”

“Cool. I’m gonna smoke first
though.”

He nods. “That’s what I meant. Would you like
to go smoke while
I
make some coffee?”

“Absolutely, an excellent
suggestion.”

“I bought you an ashtray. It’s on the
balcony.”

“Geeze, you thought of everything.”

“Everything and more.” He runs his hands
stressfully through his hair.

I smile and head for the living room to get my
Camels from my bag. When I open the glass door to the balcony I’m
blasted with frigid air. It’s snowing, of course. What’s Halloween
without snow? I imagine all those girls out there in skimpy
costumes freezing their assets off. I snicker and light one up.
Fuck its cold, but it’s a moist cold. The smoke comes out of my
mouth in thick, satisfying clouds. I look down over the street.
We’re on the seventeenth floor. I feel good, clean, free... just
good. The cigarette is gone in no time. I put it out and head
gratefully back inside to the tantalizing scent of coffee
brewing.

I’m just closing the glass door when Lupa comes
bursting in through the front. Her arms are loaded down with
colorful shopping bags from at least three different stores. Damn,
I hope he pays her overtime for this. I bet he does because she’s
got a great big smile on her face.

“Miss Jones.” She says by way of greeting.
“Follow me.” I wouldn’t dream of arguing with Lupa. I pad
obediently behind her, and she leads me to a bedroom. Yes, Schuyler
has more than one bedroom, but the reason I don’t use one when I
stay here is I don’t want Lupa to have to clean up after me. We
enter the room.

“Close the door.” She says to me. I obey her
and she begins dumping the bags out onto the bed. “This was fun.”
She says. “So there’s underwear, bras, long sleeved shirts, short
sleeved shirts, jeans, leggings (he didn’t say to get those, but
its getting cold so I thought you’d want them), There’s also socks,
and two sweatshirts. I bought this blouse,” She holds up a green
silky thing that looks like a handkerchief to me. “Then these
slacks for the blouse and this dress, which you have the boobs for,
and some heels to go with the dress, and a purse, and a cardigan in
case you go someplace nice.” She pauses to look at me. “I was going
to buy this nice string of pearls for the dress, but I thought I’d
better leave that to Schuyler.” She beams at me.

“Thank you.” I stare. My mouth is open. I think
my heart rate has doubled. Why does this make me nervous when
Schuyler’s hygiene spree did not?

As if to add to my anxiety Lupa continues,
“Here.” She tosses me some lacy underwear. “Try these on. He loves
blue.” She says. “You pick what to wear tonight, and I’ll put the
rest up in the closet while you’re out or I can wait until
tomorrow, give you two some time.” Lupa is glowing. I’m starting to
twitch.

“He doesn’t like me that way.” I say
quietly.

She gives me a look that says I’m an idiot. “Of
course he likes you that way.”

“No, Lupa.” I’m wearing my serious face. “He
told
me. He actually said the words ‘I don’t want to be your
boyfriend.’”

Lupa waves a hand at me. “Schuyler doesn’t know
what he wants. I’ve been taking care of him since he was a boy.
I
know what Schuyler wants. He likes you. You like him.
You’re a good girl. You’ll make him happy. I know it. Now put on
some clothes, honey.”

I shake my head, and thread my legs through the
sky blue lacy underwear. “I’m not really that good.” I
murmur.

Lupa levels her gaze at me, using her full
matronly authority. “You’ll be good to him.” She says. “Or I’ll
tell my nephew Mario, and he’ll slit your throat.”

I gasp. I’ve seen too much of the throat
slitting lately.

Lupa waits a full ten seconds before she bursts
into gales of laughter.

I laugh with her but it sounds thin and nervous
to me.

“Here.” She says. “This bra goes with those.
It’ll make your boobs look good.”

“Thanks.” I say quietly. Lupa precedes to hand
me one item after another. Apparently I will
not
be choosing
my own outfit today. It’s okay though, at least she doesn’t try for
the dress. The jeans are low cut and they cling to my hips and
thighs. I feel a little exposed, but when I check myself in the
mirror I have to admit, they make my ass look good. Lupa puts me in
a scoop neck, long sleeve t-shirt that fits close to my body, but
its not too close, and it goes all the way down to my hips so
that’s fine. It’s a light blue with purple, gray and pink swirly
designs scattered across it a-symmetrically. It looks okay. It’ll
go with my jacket and my hair stripes. I like it. I smile at myself
in the mirror. “Thank you so much Lupa.”

“Of course, Miss Jones.” She beams.

“You can call me, Meegan please.”

“Yes, Miss Meegan.” She says. “Now, here,” She
hands me a little compact. “Put on some make up. Its oil free,
hypoallergenic and it’ll match your skin. Then, you let me do your
eyes.”

Well, hell, might as well run with it. I obey
some more, and by the time I leave the bedroom to go get some
coffee, I look like a more feminine and put together version of
myself. I can rock it. It
is
a holiday after all.

***

It's cold out here. I know I've said that a
million times but, damn it, it just continues to be true. Schuyler
and I are walking through a pretty snow fall down the brightly lit
sidewalk that leads to Golden Waffle. He's got his long gangly arm
over my shoulders. We scurry and slide across icy patches on the
pavement. Passing us on every side are holiday revelers. There is a
man in a flesh colored body suit with a fake fig leaf over his
groin. He's not in what you'd call "top form". I smile up at
Schuyler. He grins down at me. We walk on, and in moments find
ourselves in Golden Waffle happily seated in a booth by the
window.

"This was a good idea." He says to
me.

"It was your idea, hot stuff." I reply and
lightly kick his shin under the table. We've just come from a
relatively terrifying haunted house, and now, its time for pancakes
and voyeurism.

"Whoa, look at them." He says staring out the
window. A zombiefied nurse slut and a vampire whore are strutting
arm in arm through the snow.

"Kind of an odd choice, the zombie nurse one."
I say. "Like she couldn't commit to either gory or sexy, so she
tried both."

Schuyler nods thoughtfully. "There's gotta be a
deeper metaphor there. We're just missing it."

I gasp. "I always say that! It's like we're
reading a book too fast to see the deeper meaning."

He grins. "All caught up in the plot and
missing the point."

"Precisely! Ooo look at
that
guy!
There's a highly realized vision." It's a man with a purple Mohawk
and a unicorn horn wearing cardboard cuffs that might be
hooves.

Schuyler nods. "That's new to me."

The waitress visits us and we order sugary
carbohydrates. It's nice and warm in here, so I remove my jacket.
We stare out the window in silence until the nice lady brings us
our coffee. I take a sip and crinkle my nose. It's burnt, so I add
sugar and cream to make it drinkable.

"There's a concert, not this weekend, but the
next one." Schuyler says. "Modest Mouse is playing. You want to
go?"

I nod. "If I have my job back by then. I don't
want to dip into my savings for frivolous stuff."

Schuyler shrugs. "Even if you don't. I'll pay
for it, but I need a yes or no so I can buy the
tickets."

"I'm not sure, sweetie." I say. "Wow. What
about
that
guy?" I gesture towards a very round man who from
the neck up makes a passable Frankenstein's monster.

Schuyler grins. "It's highly improbable that
Frankenstein would have robbed the graves of the morbidly
obese."

I laugh. "That's what we'd say: 'You sir, are
highly improbable!' I bet he's fun at a party though, he has that
look about him."

"Just say yes." Schuyler says.

"To the concert? Okay, I guess. I'd be off that
weekend if I do get my job back by then."

He nods. "Whoa." He whispers. His eyes are
bugged out. I look. It's a flabby red devil woman. Her skirt
doesn't cover her ass, on which she appears to wearing tidy
whities. Also, the costume looks like its been around for a few
years. Maybe she's not
in
costume. Maybe this is how she
dresses.

"That might have fit her in 05." I say. "Not
that I should talk. I'd be rockin' my rolls in a get up like that."
I always feel weird making fun of other women's weight issues. I'd
rather stick to clothing choices or make up
catastrophes.

Schuyler scoffs. "You'd look great in that.
You'd just never wear it out of your house."

I giggle. "You got me. My closet's full of
crazy whore costumes. I prance around in them when I'm home
alone."

He gives me a stage-worthy thoughtful look, so
I blow my straw paper at him. "Hey," He protests. "I'm having a
moment here."

"Picture me as a floppy hooker on your own
time, now is the time for the mocking of others."

"Right you are, and here come some
now."

"Highly mockable." I say with approval, and
they are. It's a gaggle of college men dressed as fruit. They're
like the Fruit Of The Loom guys except that apple has a beer
guzzling cap on his head. Grape is staggering into Banana, who is
making the jerk off gesture for reasons unknowable. "I hope they're
not thinking they'll get laid tonight."

Schuyler laughs. "Yeah, because even a very
drunk woman knows she doesn't want to have to admit she got it on
with a giant pear."

"Oh my God Becky! I did this apple guy last
night, and he made me sooo hungry!"

"I bet those guys are getting a lot of gay
jokes."

I nod. "Maybe that's why they got so tanked.
'Nobody takes me seriously when I'm dressed at a
cumquat.'"

Schuyler chuckles, which is cute. "Clinically
depressed fruit."

"Ooo, Ooo, they've gone
bad
." I say. "Ba
dum bum."