Chasing Shadows (3 page)

Marie turned her gaze to Lenore and I could see the accusation in her eyes. "I should never have let you put her under. Don't think I'll let you do it again."

Lenore sighed, as if Marie was just a nuisance. "I wasn't going to suggest putting her under hypnosis again. But everything turned out fine. We got important information. Information that will help us save lives. Isn't that the whole point?"

Marie didn't answer. Instead, she just looked away, her mouth tightening. I wondered at the dissension between Marie and Lenore. I had assumed my aunt's inner circle was a harmonious group but there were apparently some power plays happening that I wasn't privy to. But that wasn't my concern right now.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "Maybe I should go under again. I didn't get the complete picture."

Lenore shook her head. "No, Marie is right. We can't take the chance again. We were just lucky that you were powerful enough to pull yourself out." She gave me a speculative look. I ignored it, standing up. I had to brace myself against the arm of the sofa, feeling faint from the movement. Lenore got up quickly, holding my shoulder.

"You'll probably feel a little weak for a few hours. You've put your mind and body through a lot."

"I need to go back to my aunt's house. I need to find her journal."

Marie stood up, walking towards me. "We'll go with you. You're in no condition to go anywhere alone right now, especially back to Brenda's house."

"Marie, you and Cecelia stay here," Lenore commanded. "I need you to contact our network, find out if any other seers have experienced what Caitlin has seen. We need to find out what the vardogers are using to overpower iridium."

"But she can't go alone! You know she's in a weakened state-"

Lenore put up her hand, cutting Marie off. "She's not going alone. I'm going with her."

Marie looked like she wanted to argue but Lenore's expression brooked no argument. She sighed with defeat and nodded her head. I got the feeling she was used to acquiescing to Lenore's demands.

"Let's go," Lenore said briskly, and I followed her outside to her car. I had an unsettling feeling as I saw Marie watching us through the window as we pulled away. I had wanted to insist that Marie come with us when they were arguing. I felt like she was on my side, which was strange because it wasn't as if Cecelia and Lenore were against me. They were trying to help me; they wanted to find Aunt Brenda just as much as I did. I reminded myself that Lenore had said she was my aunt's closest friend.

I tensed when we pulled onto Aunt Brenda's street. There was a black Audi in her driveway and I knew instantly whose car it was. It was empty and I wished Lenore had locked my aunt's front door when we had left. Then we wouldn't be in this predicament.

"Stop. That's Simon's car."

Lenore immediately hit the brakes two houses down from Aunt Brenda's. "Maybe we should come back later."

I was surprised by her reluctance. I didn't think she would be deterred by anything, let alone Simon, who was a victim in all of this. "No, I need to find my aunt's journal. But I don't want Simon to see me. It'll make everything more...complicated. He's safer not being around me since the vardogers seem to be following me." But even though I knew I should keep my distance, I couldn't help wanting to see him, to make sure with my own eyes that he was okay. "But I think I should check to see if he's okay. I left abruptly, without telling anyone where I was going."

Lenore lifted an eyebrow. "What do you suggest we do?"

I gave her a weak smile, trying to be braver than I felt. "We could try the spying approach. But why don't you stay in the car."

Lenore shook her head emphatically. "That's not a good idea. The last thing you should be is alone right now. Besides, I know Brenda's house like the back of my hand. I know what we can do."

I was grateful for Lenore's insistence on joining me, despite everything. She killed the engine and we walked quickly to my aunt's house. I kept expecting the front door to open, for Simon to step out and look at me with condemning eyes. But we made it to the house with no incident.

"Over here," Lenore whispered, waving me over to the side of the house. She bent down, peering through a small window that was just a few inches above the ground. She seemed satisfied with what she saw and looked back up at me. "This window leads to the basement. We can shimmy in this way."

"Is it open?"

"Brenda is terrible about remembering to lock her windows." Lenore pushed the window and it opened readily. "It's going to be a tight fit but I think we can both make it. There's a table directly under the window. Make sure you're balanced on it before you let go of the windowsill."

Lenore straightened and looked at me expectantly. I wanted to ask her to go first, but I was starting to realize that one didn't contradict Lenore. I kneeled by the window, looking at it a bit dubiously. It was the quarter of the size of a regular window and didn't open all the way. Instead, it was hinged at the top and only opened halfway. I sucked in my stomach as much as I could and carefully slid the lower half of my body through the window.

It was frightening going in blind, and I was sure that I was going to feel someone, or something, grab my legs. My legs flailed in the air as I tried to find the surface of the table. I was relieved when my foot caught the edge of the table and I moved my foot around until I was sure that it was stable. I placed both my feet on it and let my weight bear down.

"I found the table. I'm okay," I whispered. Lenore let go of my hand that she was grasping and I shimmied the rest of my body through the window. I slid off the table as quietly as I could and watched Lenore's legs appear through the window. I helped anchor her legs onto the table and soon she was beside me, having been a lot more graceful about the process.

I looked around the basement, although it was hard to make out anything since the only illumination was the shaft of sunlight coming in through the window. It was dusty and I had to control the urge to sneeze.

"Follow me," Lenore said softly. "The basement door is right by the living room. Hopefully we'll be able to hear something."

I followed Lenore's lead, being careful not to bump into anything. We were just about to walk up the stairs when my foot accidentally grazed a box. The sound seemed magnified in the quietness of the basement and I froze, sure that Simon heard it and was about to fling open the basement door any second.

"Quiet," Lenore hissed as she stilled as well. Seconds seemed like minutes as we froze, but no one opened the basement door. I breathed a sigh of relief as Lenore continued her progress up the stairs and motioned for me to follow.

I could see a crack of light beneath the basement door and Lenore sat down on the top step. I would have laughed at the ludicrous sight of a grown woman putting her ear against the door, straining to hear voices, if I hadn't been so tense and anxious.

"I can hear them," she whispered.

Them?

I sat down and put my ear close to the crack underneath the door and my heart jumped when I not only heard Simon's voice, but Sarah's voice as well. They sounded far away, but close enough that I could hear everything they were saying.

"We've searched the whole house," Sarah said with exasperation. "There's nothing here to find."

"I know this has something to do with her aunt. I'm positive that she came back here to see her." My heart ached when I heard Simon's voice. He sounded tired and anxious, but hearing his voice made more than worry rush through me. I wanted nothing more than to fling open the door and tell him I was right here, but I might as well have just thrown him to the vardogers.

"We don't know where she is, Simon. No one at the train station would give us any information, and the cab company just laughed when you demanded if a girl with Caitlin's description had used their services."

"She can't have just disappeared. Her aunt was the last person she called on her cell phone. And why did she call Claudia? What does she have to do with all of this?"

I cursed myself for leaving my cell phone behind. I had been so distraught from hearing my aunt's screams that I had just wanted to get rid of it, believing that it could somehow be used by the vardogers to track me. It was stupid to leave it at my apartment so that Simon and Sarah could go through it.

"I'm not sure. Jenny has been trying to get a hold of Claudia, but it's like she's disappeared too."

"We have to find her. I know she's in trouble. I can feel it." Simon's voice broke, killing me. "It makes no sense that her aunt has disappeared too, leaving her house unlocked for any intruder to come in."

"Don't you think I want to find her too?" The anguish in Sarah's voice was just as painful. "I've been replaying every damn conversation we've had this past week, wondering if I missed something. If there was some clue I didn't pick up on. But the only thing...the only thing I can think of is how miserable she was. She seemed broken, like she couldn't take anymore. Maybe she couldn't. Maybe that note was meant to be her farewell. Maybe it's no longer possible to find her."

"Stop it!" Simon's voice was harsh, full of pain. "She would never do that! She would never end her life. She would never just leave me like that."

Tears were streaming down my face and I couldn't take anymore. Everyone was suffering because of me. I could hear the anguish in Simon and Sarah's voices, and I had no doubt that my other friends back at school were worried as well. I didn't want to even think about what Simon and Sarah had told Grant, Marcus and Jenny about my disappearance.

I started to rise, ready to burst through the door and tell them that I was here. That I was alive. But Lenore grabbed my hand, shaking her head emphatically.

"Don't do it," she hissed.

"But they think I'm dead! They think I killed myself! I can't put them through that."

Lenore's eyes narrowed and I felt a chill go through me. I could barely make out her features in the dim light, but I could feel her disapproval. "You don't have the privilege of indulging in guilt right now. And that's what you would be doing. Assuaging your guilt for leaving and not telling them where you were going. Is making yourself feel better worth putting their lives at risk? That's what you would be doing. You were right when you said they were safer not being near you."

Lenore's words gutted me. As much as I wanted to protest, she was right. Better for them to mourn my death than meet their own. I lowered my head again to hear their conversation, feeling more hopeless than I ever had.

"Maybe I'm wrong," Sarah said. "I hope to God I'm wrong. But you don't realize how hard it was for her to live through everything that she did."

"I can't believe she's been suffering all this time and she never confided in me. I knew something was wrong but I thought we had time. Time for her to trust me and tell me what was going on."

"It's not your fault, Simon," Sarah said sadly. "Caitlin has kept that part of herself hidden for so long, I don't know if she has the ability to let anyone else in."

I wasn't surprised that it sounded like Sarah had told Simon everything she knew. I didn't blame her. They thought it was a life and death situation. If only they knew how right they were.

"I can't believe her damn father doesn't even give a shit. He said she was probably just being difficult and would reappear when she got over her tantrum." Simon gave a sound of disgust. "What an asshole."

"I won't argue with that. And the police won't do anything since she wrote a letter saying she was leaving. I think the best thing is to go back to school and wait for her there. That's where she feels the safest. Instead of looking for her, I think we should wait for her to find us."

I heard footsteps and tensed, but instead of coming closer they were getting farther away. I heard the front door open and close and I heard the engine of the car start through the open window in the basement.

Lenore straightened when she heard the car pull away. She opened the basement door and I squinted against the light, my eyes having become accustomed to the dark. I followed her into the house, quickly wiping away my tears. Lenore assessed me with a speculative look.

"Are you up for this?"

I nodded, taking a deep breath. I had to remind myself that I was doing this to keep Simon and Sarah safe. To find my aunt. This wasn't about me and my emotions.

Lenore and I split up the rooms, searching every crack and crevice for Aunt Brenda's journal. Three hours later I felt tired and defeated. We hadn't been able to find her journal and I started questioning the accuracy of what I saw under hypnosis.

"Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I just wanted to see my aunt so badly while I was under that I just conjured up her telling me to look for her journal." I rubbed my forehead, the events of the past few days combined with my lack of sleep making me feel exhausted. Hypnosis had just made me feel even weaker. I leaned against the couch in the living room, feeling fatigued.

"Let's check again," Lenore said. "I don't think your mind just made it up. We can try—"

Her eyes rounded in shock and her face drained of color as she stared past me, looking at something behind me. I was turning to see what she was looking at with such horror when she grabbed my wrist, pulling me roughly towards her.

"Run!" she screamed.

Chapter Three

My first reaction was to turn around and see what had Lenore so scared, but she threw me behind her.

"Get out of here!" she yelled. "Now!"

She shoved me, propelling me into the kitchen. I turned around to protest but Lenore had already gone back into the living room. I glanced at the back door in the kitchen, but I knew there was no way I was going anywhere. Regardless of what Lenore had seen, this was my fight as much as it was hers.

I crept back towards the living room and froze in horror when I saw Claudia standing in front of Lenore, a taunting smile stretched across her face.

"I see dear little Caitlin has picked up some protectors." Claudia crossed her arms against her chest, looking amused. "Too bad it won't do any good."