Cheap & Classy (Hide Your Crazy) (16 page)

Chapter 30

Numb
, and not the feeling you get for sitting on your ass for too long.

It had been exactly two days since I had spoken to Reid. There was no contact between the two of us. No phone call, no text message, no email, just nothing. My body felt numb. My head spun in circles. My heart broke with every single move I made. This wasn’t how I envisioned my future. This wasn’t how my relationship with Reid was meant to turn out. As much as I wanted to tell myself that it was going to be okay, I knew deep down there would never be another opportunity to feel the way I did. Sadly, this was the end of my happy days.

“Hey Molly, you need to eat something. I can make you some soup
if you want; maybe a grilled cheese?” Megan asked softly as she entered my darkened room.

I hadn’t made a sound since Tiny carried me up my apartment st
eps and knocked on the door until Megan let him in. She had completely freaked out when she saw me in that first state, still red-faced and hysterically sobbing. Megan helped Tiny deposit me in my room and lovingly tucked me into my bed. Kissing my head softly, she promised she would check on me later and turned off the light before shutting the door. She had come in at least twenty times that day, and another five or six times during the night. Each time she asked me what was wrong and if I wanted to talk. The first day I just cried. However, the tears had finally dried up before it got dark outside, leaving me to just blankly stare at the far bedroom wall.

I didn’t feel like talking. There were no words to express what happened. I had no clue what had transpired at Reid’s place that morning, other than he told Tiny to get me out and those were the last words he spoke to me.

“Sweetie, you really need to eat and drink something. I’m worried about your health, Molly. If you don’t get something in your system soon, you could be heading for real danger.” Megan gently ran her hand through the tangled mess of my hair as I continued to sit there and stare at the white wall. “Well, I’m going to go make you some soup, and bring you a water bottle. Please, for the love of our friendship, at least drink some water.” She waited for a response, but silence continued to fill the air. Megan slightly shook her head as she walked out of the door and carefully closed it. I listened for the click of the nob before I shut my eyes. If I could manage to fall asleep before she came back, then she wouldn’t keep bugging me on eating and drinking. I didn’t want to do anything but lay there and sleep. Maybe after two days, I could finally master that task.

I was woken up by a man’s voice calling my name. “Molly, I need you to open your eyes for me. Molly, open your eyes,” he repeated over and over. I could hear him, but he sounded so far off in the distance. Forcing my eyes open, I could not focus on a single thing. My vision was blurry and my head felt like it weighed a million pounds. “That a girl, Molly; stay with us,” I heard the man say again. Letting my eyes close slightly, I tried to stretch my body out, but found it firmly strapped down to something. My mind started to panic slightly, but everything was still so foggy that I couldn’t put together a cohesive sentence. “This is ambulance two-fifty-five. We are transporting a twenty-six year old female, severe dehydration and malnutrition. ETA fifteen minutes.” From the jumbled words that were floating around in my head, I knew I was being transported somewhere. However, my brain could just not function from the lack of care I had been giving myself the last couple days.

“Molly, stay with us
, Hun. I need you to start talking to me,” the man’s voice said loudly again.

I wanted to scream that I was okay, but words never formed in my throat. All I could do was let my eyes fall closed once again, and let the darkness pull me under.

I could h
ear the beeping of machines while lying in my bed, but my eyes were still too heavy to open. My whole body was sore, making it painful to even wiggle my little finger. Something had to have happened to me when I was sleeping, because not eating or drinking couldn’t possibly make me feel this bad.

“Yes
, Reid, I had to fucking call nine-one-one, you jackass. No, she is not okay. What part of the ambulance had to take her did you not understand?” Megan’s voice whispered from across the room angrily.

I had never heard that woman raise her voice at anyone during the time we worked together, but I almost felt bad for the fucker on the other end. Sure, it was the man who broke my heart again, but for some reason I still felt bad for the asshole.

“No, you can’t just show up here and expect it to be all better. So help me god Reid, I will get a restraining order on you if dare show your damn face at this hospital. You’re damn lucky I called to tell you what happened at all, you are the sole reason Molly fell into a downward spiral.”

If it didn’t hurt to smile, I totally would have. Megan was verbally lashing the idiot who apparently wanted to come and make it all better again. Well,
the only way it would be okay was if he drove himself off a bridge. I would also settle for a shark attack, sky diving and his parachute failed, getting hit by a car while jogging, or that blonde Cassy chick pummeling him with her spiky hooker shoes. 

“I’ll let you know if anything changes, and I’m seriou
s about you not showing up here.” Megan apparently ended the call as the room became quiet again. Sleep was starting to take control of my body once again, as my mind slowly started to drift off. “I am so sorry, Molly,” Megan’s voice cracked as I felt her take my hand. Before the sleep could take me, I gently squeezed her hand, silently letting her know I appreciated everything she had done for me.

“Alright
, bitch. Next time you decide to go all manic and stupid, please just tell me. I’d rather take a spur of the moment trip to Vegas, get completely wasted, marry some Chip and Dale dancers, and come home not knowing our last name before you stop taking care of yourself again,” Danielle lectured as she dropped a bag onto my hospital bed.

“Sorry.
I didn’t really plan on this whole thing to go down like that,” I snarled, grabbing the bag and rifling through it. Thankfully, Danielle had brought me some comfy clothing to be released in.

“How about a
‘thank you, my very best friend, for bringing me something to wear other than the nasty hospital gown they got me in?”

“I’m sorry I’m so bitchy,” I apologized, giving Danielle a weakened smile.

Thankfully, I finally came around the second day after I was brought in. After several bags of IV fluids, and a full day of monitoring what I ate, the doctors had given the okay to release me. However, somehow I had agreed to see a counselor and talk about what had happened. I didn’t understand why I needed to see someone. I knew exactly how this happened. The man I thought loved me, had his penis up in some blonde and broke my heart again. I ended up in the hospital because I was so broken down that I didn’t eat or drink for apparently three days. Telling someone wasn’t going to make the situation any clearer in my head. I knew the facts, I faced the consequences, and I was going to force myself to move on.

“Are you ready to bust out of this joint? I
am really wanting a hamburger from Dicks.” Danielle laughed, kicking her feet up on the tall hospital bed.

“Yeah, just let me get my clothes changed and the IV pulled.” Hitting the nurses call button, I waited for someone to magically show up in my room. “I need to get unhooked please,” I mentioned, holding my arm up to the nurse as she entered the room.

“Not a problem, Sweetie. Let me grab some supplies and I’ll get that puppy right out of you,” she said with a warm and caring smile.

I forced myself to return the gesture. It was always easier to fake the emotion then try and explain why you couldn’t show it. A couple minutes later, the nurse had the IV line removed and I was wandering into the bathroom to put on the clothes Danielle had brought for me.

“Molly, here are your discharge papers. This paper here has the therapist’s number. You have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow at three in the afternoon. Please do yourself a favor and see her,” the nurse commented as I walked back in the small hospital room.

“Thank you,” I replied, taking the papers from her outstretched hand.

Glancing at Danielle, I motioned for the door and slowly shuffled for the exit.

“Damn Molly, you
are walking like an old geezer.” Danielle laughed, snatching the bag from my hand and walking beside me.

“Fuck you,” I grumbled.

“You can thank me later for the extra batteries I put in the bag.”

Damn you
, Danielle.

Megan was home by the time we walked in. Dropping my bag in the entry way, I shuffled myself over to the couch and collapsed down on it.

“We brought dinner, and breakfast, and well, probably lunch too.” Danielle shrugged as she sat the large take out bag on the counter.

“For some reason, Danielle seemed to think we need
ed twenty double cheeseburgers,” I stated, pulling my feet up under me tightly.

“Well
, Snatch, you were in the hospital for not eating. Buying a fuck load of beef was the sensible thing to do. I wanted to make sure you had food in this place.” Danielle laughed as she opened a wrapper and started to chow down on another burger. How that woman managed to eat as much as she did was a scientific mystery. I knew she didn’t work out, considering breaking a sweat was a dirty four letter word in her vocabulary.

The doorbell rang and all three of us froze suddenly. Who in the hell would be showing up at our apartment, considering everyone
I cared about was already here? “I’ll grab it,” Megan said tentatively. Nodding my head, I held my breath as I listened for who was at the door.

“She doesn’t want those,” I heard Megan tell whoever was out in the hallway.

“Please, Megan, just take the flowers,” Tiny’s large voice filled the apartment entry way.

“I’ll take them, but don’t be surprised if you see them being chucked out the window when you get down to your car.”

“Thank you,” Tiny said as I heard the door click. Megan came walking around the corner with a simple bouquet of lilies. Orange lilies to be exact.

“I tried to tell him you didn’t want them, but he insisted,” Megan said cautiously, eagerly waiting for my response.

“Just put them in water,” I sniffed, trying hard to not let my emotions run ramped. Silence filled the air for a couple seconds as both Danielle and Megan just stared at me. “Well, they are too pretty to chuck out the window,” I offered with a small smile. Megan nodded her head and busied herself in the kitchen, looking for a vase to put them in.

“So, you’re keeping the flowers?” Danielle wondered, giving me a puzzled look.

“Yep,” I said confidently. It was a nice gesture from Reid, and actually the only one since that whole morning had gone down. Even if they were just simple flowers, I wasn’t ready to let them go just yet.

Chapter 31

If anyone got their hands on my journals, I’m pretty sure I’d be arrested.

Having something repeated, in the exact same fashion the second time around does not make things easier to cope with. Sure, one would think I should have been prepared for something like this to happen, since I had been down that road before. However, life sucks, and getting knocked down a second time should really be a little bit easier to get up. I was pretty sure just staying on the floor was the way to go; letting everyone just walk over me and give me their suggestions on my ‘next step’
. But, for some reason, that damn heart of mine continued to beat. Getting up and facing life was the only thing my body knew how to do. My mind was a jumbled cluster fuck of ideas, and listening to it during that situation would have had a devastating outcome.

“Hey Molly?
Are you going to make it to the three-fifteen meeting?” Megan asked through the intercom.

“
I totally spaced it.” Groaning, I sunk back into my desk chair and glared at the computer screen. I didn’t really want to go over the invoices from the tour, and crunching my numbers were never really my kind of thing anyhow. “Any chance you can sit in for me? Tell Garret I’m really sorry, but I’m just swamped with this upcoming video shoot.”

Liar.

Staring at my computer screen, I refreshed the solitaire game I had been playing.

“Yeah, I think I can manage,” Megan replied, sounding like it wasn’t something she really wanted to do either. I guess it was a good thing I was her boss and not the other way around, otherwise my ass would have been bored for the next two hours instead of hers.

“Thanks
, Megan.”

Hitting the speaker button, I sneered at the reflection of myself on the glass wall and went back to shuffling cards. I really had a ton of work I should have been doing, but I hated the music world at the moment. I couldn’t turn on the radio because Reid’s songs stalked me, and watching television wasn’t an option either considering the music video we stared in together was on heavy rotation.
What did I do to deserve this massive ass kicking from Karma? I paid my taxes, I donated to charity, I tried to live a cleaner lifestyle, and what did I get? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Glancing down at the band aid on my wrist, I released a heavy sigh. Of course I was the idiot who branded herself with a cliché tattoo. Somehow, I had talked myself into it being okay.
That the tattoo would symbolize something even if Reid and I went our separate ways. Well, that was the biggest load of horse shit I had ever sold myself before. This tattoo represented the failure of our relationship once again, and this time it was going to be permanent……………………just like the fucking tattoo.

A dark figure walked down the small hallway to my office, quickly thrusting the door open before giving me the opportunity to close
out  my game window.

“Seriously
, Reid? You think showing up at my office is going to make me want to talk to you? One would think not answering your texts or calls would be a good enough hint that I hoped you got eaten by sharks.” My heart burned and my mind said give him hell. I couldn’t deal with this man’s bullshit today, fuck.

“Molly Anne, we need to talk about us,” Reid said softly, creeping closer to my desk with every step.

“There is no us, Reid. You made that very clear to me,” I screamed, tossing my hands up in the air.

“When in the fuck have I ever said that
, Molly Anne?” Reid growled, grabbing my chin and forcing our eyes to meet.

“Every fucking day Reid
, since you sent me out of your damn house. I’m pretty sure that was a clear ‘we are done, Molly, now get the fuck out’ kind of moment, wouldn’t you say?”

“Molly Anne, are you out o
f your damn mind?” Reid raged, slamming his fists down on my desk.

Stumbling
out of my chair, I flew around the desk and got right into Reid’s face.

“Shut up
, Reid. We both know what happened at your place. Your little slut muffin decided she was done letting us play house, and you being the stupid asshole that you are said okay.” My anger was boiling to the point of no return. This man made absolutely no sense. He claimed one thing, and his actions spoke another.

“Molly Anne, you have no idea what
happened back at our place. Cassy and I needed to talk, and having you there would have only complicated it.”

“Our place
, Reid? Fucking our place? That would have required us to have some sort of commitment, and that was way beyond your comprehension.” My hands were balled up into fists at my sides in fear of reaching out and strangling the idiot. How in the hell did he think that we were going to live happily ever after when he was keeping slut of the month hanging on the side? Reid was absolutely delusional if he thought I would ever agree to the sharing kind of lifestyle.

Reid grabbed me tightly around my waist and yanked me into his chest.
I started to fight, but with the man’s size there was no chance at me getting loose. “Let me fucking go, Reid. I can’t stand touching you, asshole.”

“Molly Anne, I need you to believe me when I tell you ther
e was nothing going on with Cassy”

“Just stop fucking ly
ing to me. Please just stop lying.”

I broke down and sobbed. Releasing the tension in my body, I let myself get lost into his massive frame. His beautifully tattooed arms wrapped tightly around my body, his lips pressing softly into my hair. As angry as I was, there was no more fight
left in me. Just a broken, hurt, lost shell of a girl.

“Molly Anne, there has never been anyone else but you,” he whispered into my hair, gently pressing his lips to the top of my head.

“Bullshit,” I grumbled between my sobs. I’d heard that line from him before, and look where it got me right back to heartbreak, round two.

I forced myself out of Reid’s arms and reached for a tissue to dry my eyes. I knew my makeup had already made me look like a damn raccoon, and a simple tissue wasn’t going to correct the damage it had done on my face. But, using my sleeve to wipe my nose wasn’t the most attractive thing I could have been doing.

“Can we get out of here and talk some place?” Reid asked, his face wearing the look of sympathy very well. I really shouldn’t have trusted him, considering history had a way of repeating itself. Did I really want to subject myself to listening to the same old apology from him? Was I capable for round three of the Reid and Molly bullshit show, where everyone left with a complimentary broken heart? “Please, Molly Anne.”

“I’ll meet you at the café by my apartment tonight,” I sniffed. My heart kept telling me to hear him out, as my head shouted ‘stupid girl’. Of course my head always lost when it came to my heart, apparently stupid wasn’t something my heart accepted.

“Thank you,” Reid whispered as he reached out to touch me. Quickly, I took a step back and gloomily shook my head.

“I’ll see you tonight
, Reid.” Refusing to make eye contact, I glanced down at the floor and waited until his feet left my field of vision. The large door softly clicked, and I bit my lip hard to force back another round of tears. I refused to carry on here in my office.

“Save those tears for your pillow girl. No one wants to see you cry,”
my mother’s voice ran out in my head.

Grabbing a clean tissue, I wiped the remnants of my break down from under my eyes and made my way back around my desk. Closing the game of solitaire, I opened the document
containing the information for the upcoming music video. Might as well get something accomplished today.

Life tended to get a little crazy and fast paced at times. When I was younger
, writing in my journals always seemed to slow it down a little. It was always the moments I needed to reflect the most that made me turn back to those trusty journals. Writing soothed my mind and eased my heart. Emptying all my emotions onto a few pages gave me the release my body so desperately craved. Later, Simon would create the melodies that could put my mind at ease, gently erasing away the troubles that filled the lyrics. So, during times like these, where I felt my world was once again ass backward, and I was drowning in a pool of my own misery, I got back to my writings, hoping to free my soul once again.

“Would you like a refill
, Sweetie?” a waitress asked, startling myself back to the cold world of reality.

“Please,” I stammered, glancing at my empty coffee cup as she filled it with the warm liquid goodness.

She smiled and patted my shoulder with her free hand.
Did I really look like that much of a mess that other people were starting to take pity on me? 
Sighing deeply, I looked back down at the notebook that held so much pain and heartbreak and started to scribble once again.

I was completely wrapped up in
the piece I had been working on that I didn’t even notice the busy coffee shop had switched over and was now being the host to an open mic night. Songs were being sung, and people transferring on and off the stage, but I didn’t seem to care. The words were pouring out of my soul, sucking deeper into the pages of my life.

I
t was the music that broke my concentration; a familiar melody rang through the small place. My eyes didn’t even need to leave the notebook; I knew exactly who was standing up there playing. Smiling, I set my pen down on the table and glanced up into those beautiful baby blues. If there was ever a third chance afforded to me, then it was staring me straight in the face. I had to believe that this man had something to say. Otherwise he wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of doing this for me. Love wasn’t something that could be just tossed away after conflict. Sure, with time a person can walk away, leaving their heart open for a new opportunity in life. But, that wasn’t the case here. I couldn’t just walk away from Reid while not knowing the truth about what happened. I couldn’t say goodbye when there was still a piece inside of me that begged to hear the man out. I couldn’t just end the greatest love of my life knowing that I still had feelings for the man sitting up on stage, pouring his heart out to me with the melodies and lyrics from his heart. That man meant everything to me, and when I got my hands on him, there was going to be no letting go this time.