“L.A. sounds too big, too established,” Perri said. “We’re small-town girls. This sounds like a virgin area without much competition.”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “So far as a lot of black businesses, this is a virgin area.”
She grinned. “A virgin area is my kind of place.”
Both of them smiled at the same time.
Female conspiracy.
Natalie clicked a button on the television and picked one of the adult-only pay-per-view channels. A porno movie kicked on.
Natalie asked me, “Does this offend you?”
I shook my head. “Not at all.”
Perri said, “Good.”
On the movie, a shirtless, Gold’s Gym-looking guy was by the clear waters of a teardrop-shaped pool. The stereotypical pool guy. Two young blondes, late teens, were at the opposite side of the deep end of the pool, tanning and reading
Wall Street Journals.
They all noticed each other and smiled. A beat later, he was rubbing suntan lotion on their breasts. Another day in Bel Air.
How did this happen? I was back already. Had my Speedos on and was ready to take a dip in ho soup. Whenever I tried to do right and get out of the game, something always went wrong and sucked me back in.
Perri started brushing her hair, rocking back and forth, crossing and uncrossing her legs. She opened a soda and some squirted on her fingers. She sucked them clean. With her fingers in her mouth, her eyes tightened.
Natalie was all into the movie, which now had the pool guy and the two now naked women racing into a bedroom.
Perri licked two ice cubes before she let them roll off her fingers into a glass. She filled it with soda and walked over to me. She took the first sip, handed the glass to me, and asked a sultry “What’s on your mind?”
I smiled. Held my thoughts in my head and smiled.
Perri laughed.
Natalie leaned forward on her elbows and watched the two girls handcuff the pool guy to the bed. She was studying more than enjoying the film. The TV was on mute, and Billie Holiday was playing on the radio. She twisted her head like she was trying to see the depth of his passage.
“How long are you going to be in town?” I asked.
Perri said, “Until Tuesday.”
Natalie had her face in her hands. She yawned. On the tube, the girls’ gray-haired parents walked in, suitcases in hand, and caught both their daughters with the pool guy. One riding his waist, the other bucking his face. The mother screamed, pulled her daughters to the floor, dragged the pool guy into her bedroom, undressed, and rode him in punishment. Bucking and slapping his face while he bucked back and cried. Payback. The daughters cried while their daddy got naked. They showed him what the pool guy had made them do.
Perri was making small talk in between her heavy breathing. Sweat popped out on her forehead, and she ran her
fingers across her face and licked it off. She smiled at me. A look of lust.
That did nothing for me. I was here, but thoughts of the conversation I’d had with Jake, his misery, popped into my mind. How a night like the one I was living in had ruined everything for him for years to come, maybe the rest of his life.
Words from Pops filtered through, fell on my thoughts like rainwater falling through trees in a forest. Coins were jingling in my mind as well.
Find ‘em. Fool ‘em
…I smelled Daddy’s cigar. Heard the gravel shooting from his tires as he sped away. Imagined the loneliness he must’ve felt when he was suffering on his deathbed, dying all alone.
My pulse quickened. I made myself snap out of that, and when I did, my mind went back to Darnell and Dawn. Wanted to know how heinous it had become after I fled the scene of a crime.
Integrity has a price tag. Respect. Responsibility. That’s why the overlapping voices inside my head were driving me insane.
It’s a good thing when a man starts to question things around him. It’s a better thing when he starts to question himself.
“Stephan?” That was Perri.
“Yeah?”
“Would you like another soda?”
“I’m cool.”
My eyes went back to the television. Then to the beautiful women in the room. I have to change that fucked-up part of me. All of this was always about the chase. It’s the chase that makes a man high. That addiction. Change. Maybe I came here for confirmation. Or to simply extend my denial. Or forget another woman by being in the presence of two. But not even two could make me stop thinking about her.
I blinked, cleared my throat, focused.
Now in the porno flick, everybody was in the same bed.
Natalie’s fake blue eyes were on me.
Out of the blue she said, “Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Want me like I want you?”
Perri spoke up. “Now, don’t be greedy. I want him too.”
Any other time my dick would’ve been harder than Chinese arithmetic and I would’ve been across the room.
Natalie walked over to Perri. They kissed. In that moment I understood their relationship. Their marriage. Natalie ran her hands between Perri’s legs. Perri arched her back and smiled at me. Natalie sang along with Lady Day and undressed herself with the rhythm. Natalie spread her legs, put both feet miles apart on the center table, lay back, and reached up for Perri. She was damn near crying, “Come here, baby. Come to momma.”
Perri looked down at Natalie, then stood up and slowly wiggled her hips side to side, moved with the rhythm of an Indonesian belly dancer. Her housecoat broke free and parted.
Perri’s massive penis plopped out and pointed at me.
“Holy shit!”
I dropped my glass, spat my drink out all over my clothes, couldn’t stop coughing. I wiped my eyes, did a double-take, saw what the fuck I thought I saw the first time, then scurried to the far end of the sofa and gawked at her dick. It bobbed up and down like it was trying to hypnotize me. Surreal and illogical. At first I thought it might be one of those sex toys, but this was connected to her.
My head was so bent out of shape I couldn’t move.
She rubbed her meat like she was trying to wish the genie out of the lamp. Perri glued her eyes to me, wagged her thang my way, licked her lips and grinned with some serious desire. I closed my mouth so fast I almost bit my damn tongue off.
Perri found her comfort on top of Natalie.
Big momma groaned. Perri boned.
I forgot how to blink, breathe, move, talk.
Perri made a motion for me to come join them. She made a gesture with the same fingers she used to make my soda, kissed at me with the same lips she’d sucked my ice cube with.
I fell-stumbled-tripped-jetted to the door and couldn’t get the damn thing open. The locks clicked free, but the door stood firm. I was about to start kicking ass and fight my way out.
Perri laughed. “Don’t push,
pull.
”
I screamed, jerked the door open so fast I stubbed my
toe. I limped and tripped out into the hall. I found my balance, then shoved my fingers down my throat and made myself vomit. All that happened before the door to their insanity could shut all the way. I hobbled down the hallway, left a lot of wails and laughter behind me that were silenced when the door clicked closed.
Tammy tried to cheer me up with some humor. “Best female performance by yet another sister showing her booty off in an I-can’t-stand-your-ass-because-I-like-ya-too-much drama goes to…”
I made a that’s-not-funny face that stopped her cold. Through clenched teeth I snapped, “Knock it off, Tammy.”
She laughed, winked at Darnell.
Without taking his eyes off Tammy, Darnell asked me, “Where did Stephan go?”
“Who cares?” That was me, uttering my turmoil.
Darnell and Tammy didn’t care either. They touched so much, giggled so much, made eyes so much, it was sickening.
Minutes went by with me bouncing my leg, tapping the table, thinking about how much I despised that fool Stephan. Thinking of all the snappy comebacks and not-so-nice remarks I wish I had rained on him when I was close enough to spit in his eye.
How did I let him get the best of me?
It would be a cold day in hell before I gave my heart away again. I’d been hurt before, and that time was the last time. Seemed like when it came to a deck of men, I always pulled the wrong card. From here on out, my heart’ll be in a safe deposit box. I’m becoming the mayor of celibate city.
God, I don’t know what got into me. One second life
was fine, then I saw Stephan hee-hawing and being all touchy-feelie, drooling all over those overdressed and sodamn flirty women, and I don’t know. It felt like my soul was
sizzling.
I didn’t remember moving, but the next thing I knew I was flying out of the club, stepping up in his face.
I reached the bottom of my soda too quick, and my bladder was telling me that I’d had two drinks too many. All the dancing, all the moving bodies had heated the place up to oven status. Nonstop chatter blended with the band. Nature knotted my stomach, but I didn’t take anything to ease the pain.
Stephan had left me so rattled. One minute I was a ball of fire, the next ice. I was dark and cold from the inside. I hated it when I felt that way, especially when it was over a man.
I never wanted to see him again in this lifetime.
But still, every now and then, I did a sly peek-a-boo toward the door to see if he had come back. A sister should always know where her enemies are lurking.
Darnell asked over the music, “What does she say about me?”
“Nothing bad,” I said. My words were to him, but I constantly looked toward the glass front windows and doors of the club. I cleared my throat, said, “Darnell, for the record…”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’m not down with what you and Tammy are planning.”
“I’ll file that opinion with the rest.”
He stared at Tammy as she grooved with one of her admirers, a brother who had been bold enough to come over and ask for a dance. All night everybody had wanted to dance with Tammy. With the exception of one cross-eyed brother who needed to texturize his nappy hair, no one had asked me to shake my moneymaker, which left me somewhere between jealous and happy. Tammy was getting all of the attention. That was cool. I wasn’t in the mood, and all I was doing was faking the funk.
Tammy came back from her dance, leaned over, and whispered in my ear, “Oh shit. Somebody’s coming over here.”
“Stephan’s back?”
“Nope.” Tammy waved at whoever. “You’re gonna faint.”
I turned around. Karen was slipping through the crowd.
The sight of her drained the last of my human spirit.
She was dressed in an orange spaghetti-strapped dress, hair pulled back into a shiny ponytail. She held her purse and jacket in front of herself, the move we did to keep our body parts from rubbing against other people, especially the men who wanted a freebie.
I said, “I guess the parole board had a hearing.”
Tammy slapped my shoulder.
“You knew she was coming?” I asked.
“I invited her,” Tammy said. “We need to resolve this before I leave for Paris.”
In the pit of my stomach, nasty feelings were on the rise.
Karen hesitated, then wrestled through the crowd toward us. Toward me. Each step was deliberate, like she was waiting for us to wave her away.
Karen spoke her soft hellos to everybody.
I didn’t say a damn thing. I sucked my tongue, held it against the roof of my mouth, shifted and looked away from Karen.
“How’ve you been, Chanté?” Karen asked.
“Fine. Considering how broke I am.”
Tammy smiled at the refugee. “How you been?”
“I’m surviving. I’m a survivor.” Karen shifted, then she addressed me, “Chanté?”
I said a testy “What?”
Karen’s gaze bounced around the table. She told me, “I want to thank you again for helping me out. Everything’s gonna be okay. They aren’t going to do anything to me.”
I said, “They’re not pressing charges, is that what you’re saying?”
“Right. They just wanted me out of there. I won’t be working at Mervyn’s anymore, but my job at the DMV is still tight. They don’t know, so it’s not in jeopardy.”
“Good for you,” I said.
Karen continued, “You should be getting your money back soon, Chanté. I’ll give you the difference for the part the people at the company keep. The ten percent.”
“Okay,” I responded, that single word drawn out and lasting until I could get my next thought together. “I’ll give
you your stuff back then. As soon as I get the last penny you owe me.”
“Have a seat,” my cross-eyed admirer said, offering his chair to Karen.
“No, thank you,” Karen said. “I’m waiting on somebody.”
“Who?” I asked.
Karen answered, “Not him, Chanté.”
With easy hips she walked away. I glared at the back of her head as she jostled through the crowd. My eyes followed her until she sat outside. By herself. A couple of guys stopped by her table, trying to get their flirt on. Karen raised a hand and blew them off before they could open their mouths.
I was still watching. Karen was still sitting alone. Every now and then I’d catch Karen looking my way.
“Infamous bitch,” I mumbled.
“Chanté?” Tammy said, snapping at me like she’d had enough.
“What?”
“Meeting in the ladies’ room.
Now.
”
“Whatever you have to say, say it here.”
Tammy asked the men if they would mind leaving the table for a minute. Darnell headed toward the men’s room. Cross-eyes took a stroll out in the parking lot. I was so glad he finally left.
Tammy’s voice was tender. “She’s all alone. She’s been through a lot. Was locked up. Lost one of her jobs.”
“The fugitive earned it. If it wasn’t for me, she’d be locked up in Twin Towers fighting off lesbians day and night.”
“So what?”
“And don’t forget, you co-signed for this deal if my money don’t come through.”
“Chanté?”
“Kiss my grits.”
“And forget you too.”
Tammy hissed. “Please?”
“You begging?”
“If that’s what it takes.”
“Say it.”
“I’m begging.”
“Get on you knees.”
“Chanté?”