Cherishing You (27 page)

“Oh, Ethan.” I didn’t realize there were tears streaming down my face until then. I know he’s right, but it doesn’t make leaving any easier. Turning my head, he leans down and kisses me. I hold on to him with everything I have, kissing him with all the fear and excitement jumbled in my brain.

Of course, this only turns the flame that was burning between us earlier into a full-on wildfire. We really need to cool this party down before Mom and Dad come out here. Plus, I should be hitting the road.

As if on cue, Ethan pulls away from me and takes another deep breath. I know this is just as hard on him as it is me. Of course, he still won’t go for my idea, so I guess there’s no getting around it.

“You need to head out, you’re going to be exhausted as it is already.”

“I know, but it’s okay, you’re totally worth it.” I give him a quick peck on the cheek. I know I’m just putting it off, but I can’t help it.

“Okay, baby. Five more minutes, and then I’ll help get your car packed up. I don’t want you to be too tired while you drive.”

I don’t say anything, just nod at him. It doesn’t matter that I already have my bags in the car. I also don’t say anything about leaving most of my stuff here; I plan on being back soon, so I’ll decide then what I need. We don’t say anything as we watch some birds fly around the pond. A bullfrog calls out a few times. The beautiful sounds of nature are all around us; I’ll miss this, especially when I wake up to car horns and sirens in the distance.

“All right, babe, I guess I should let you go. I don’t like the idea of you driving it all in one day by yourself. Promise me you’ll call if you get tired?”

“Yes, I’ll call. And I want updates on your mom as much as possible too.”

“I’ll let you know how she’s doing every day.”

We stand up and I put my sandals back on, wait while he ties his shoes. Then we walk hand in hand slowly back up to the house. Mom and Dad are sitting on the back porch talking.

“Time to hit the road, I take it,” Dad says as he stands up and comes down the few steps to me, wrapping me in a big hug. “I’m going to miss you, baby girl. Please take care of yourself, and don’t forget to carry your pepper spray.”

“I won’t, Dad. I’ll be careful, I promise.”

Mom comes up next. “Oh, honey, I love you!” With tears in her eyes, she gives me a tight hug.

“I love you too, Mom. I’ll miss cooking meals together and our talks, but don’t worry, I’ll still be calling you constantly for our talks,” I say with a giggle. Releasing her, I tell them both again how much I love them before Ethan walks me to my car as I hold on tight to his hand. In the driveway, I throw my arms around his neck and bury my face in his chest. He wraps his arms around me and holds tight.

“I’ll be seeing you soon, I promise you that.”

“Oh, I know you will, sweetheart, because if you’re not home for a visit soon, I’ll be coming there to see you,” Ethan says with a short laugh.

This makes me feel a little better, even though it hurts like hell to be leaving. I press my lips to his and give him a long, hard kiss.

I love him so much it hurts.

We eventually run out of air, and I know I have to let him go and get on the road. I wish things were different, but it doesn’t matter right now; it is what it is, and we’ve gone over this a hundred times. I give him another kiss and tight squeeze then I get into the car.

Ethan reaches in, pulls me to his lips giving me a long hard kiss. I would sit here all day and kiss him. He lets go and waits until I buckle. “Let me know how your trip goes and I’ll be waiting to hear that you made it safely,” then gives me another quick kiss.

“I love you, Ethan. We’ll be together soon!”

“I love you too, baby.”

Mom and Dad come up behind him, and I see Dad put his hand on Ethan’s back. I’m again reminded of what wonderful parents I have. I know they’ll be here for Ethan as much as he will for them. I’m pretty lucky to have such great people in my life.

“When you decide you’re hungry or thirsty, I packed a cooler for you. You may have a surprise in there too,” Mom says. I look back and, sure enough, there’s a cooler sitting on my backseat.

“Thanks, Mom, I really appreciate that.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie. Be safe.” She blows me a kiss and I start up the car.

“See you all later, and soon!” I call out. They’re all saying their byes and I pull out of the driveway. Tears are rolling down my face, and I have to keep wiping them to see where I’m going.
Why does this have to hurt so much?
I know why—because the love of my life is back there, along with everyone else I love.

Finally, I shut off my brain and just drive. I try to make myself enjoy the scenery as I go, and not think about what I’m leaving behind. I made the decision to do this, so now it’s time to put on my big-girl panties and give this a fair try. If it doesn’t work out, I can honestly say I gave it my all and decided it wasn’t for me.

I’d already programmed my GPS system on my phone, so I activate it and set it in my dash holder. When I reach the freeway, I turn the radio up, roll the windows down, and set cruise control. I honestly should’ve left this morning; at this rate, I’ll get back to my apartment in time to grab a shower and maybe a couple hours’ sleep before heading to my new job. Not the way I wanted to start my first day at all, but hey, at least I’ll make it. With evening traffic being light, it should go smoothly anyway.

I drive for a long while then decide I better stop and fill up on fuel. I check the fluids while the gas is filling up; I don’t want to break down again like I did on my way home. At least then I wasn’t far out. A breakdown now would be a disaster.

I find bottled water in the cooler, along with several food items from Mom. She’s so sweet; I don’t know what I’d do without her. I use the restroom and freshen up, pay for my fuel, and hit the road once again.

My trip goes well, and I make it back in record time. I decide to wait until I get home from work to unpack my car, so I grab my purse, the cooler, and my essentials bag and go into my apartment. Most of my stuff is packed up because I was planning on getting a small place closer to my job, but I might just stay here until I decide if I like it or not. No sense moving twice if I don’t need to.

I run through the shower and set the alarm to go off in two hours, which will give me just enough time to throw my hair up in a bun and get dressed and out the door. I noticed Mom packed some of her muffins in the cooler, so I’ll grab one for breakfast.

I quickly text Ethan then Mom and Dad, letting them know I made it here safe and sound. I’m sure they’ll be sleeping for a while yet.

Finally ready, I close my eyes.

We stand there until we can’t see her car anymore, never saying a word. It was like Andi was our sunshine; when she pulled away, she took the light with her. I suddenly feel the same pain and loneliness as when she left for college. Except this time, she
did
tell me, and she finally knows how I feel—that I’m not
just
her best friend, but that I love her, and she even loves me too. I wanted so badly to ask her to marry me, but I don’t want to put any added pressure on her; this was hard enough already. I want her to give the new job a fair chance. Then, when she decides, I’ll ask her. It can’t happen soon enough.

I finally turn and see Ron and Bev are still watching, tears in their eyes just like me. I hug them both and we don’t say a word, just stand there for a few moments, each of us knowing the hurt we’re all feeling.

Eventually, Ron clears his throat and smacks me on the back.

“Come on, Ethan, let’s go see you mother. I’m sure she’d like a visit by now, don’t you think?”

With Andi leaving, I’ve hardly thought about Mom. Son of the year award!

“Yeah, I need to get over there and see how she’s doing. I’ll go by the house and pick up a few things. I’ll meet you there.”

We say our good-byes, and I hit the road.
I wonder how far she is by now.
I laugh at myself when I realize it’s probably only been about twenty minutes since she left; it’s going to be a long day if I keep thinking this way. I need to focus on Mom and get my mind off Andi for a while; sitting here worrying about her driving by herself for hours isn’t going to help me, or her.

I run into the house and grab some things I figure Mom will want. I know she’s pretty much immobile at the moment, but I think that’ll change very soon, if I know her. It’s hard for her to stay in one place, so I’m betting she’ll be up and at it pretty soon.

I pull in to the hospital and see Ron’s truck already here.

After I sign in to the visitor’s log, I go back to Mom’s room; she’s lying there smiling when I walk in.

“Hey, pretty lady, I hear you’re giving the nurses a hard time. Now, I can’t imagine
my
mother wanting to get out of bed the day after she wakes up from being unconscious, now can I?”

“You make it sound so macho,” Mom squeaks. I can’t help but laugh.

“Actually, Mom, I’m not surprised at all that you want to get up, but you need to give your body more time to heal. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours since this whole mess started. Let us take care of you for a change.”

I can tell her throat is sore by the way she keeps rubbing it. She should probably be resting it, so I remind her to relax and just visit with everyone. We all hang around with her for a while before deciding to go home and let her rest. Ron and Bev leave first. I lean down to give Mom a kiss on the forehead before leaving when she puts her hand on my arm.

“Hey,” she says, in her squeaky voice. “I appreciate you all and I love you, but you need to go be with Andi. She loves you too, you know.” I hug her tight because, even with all she’s been through, she’s still worrying about me and Andi.

“Oh, Mom, I know she does. I love her too, but this is how things have to be for us right now. She needed to go back to Texas and start her new job, and I’m needed here.”

“But you don’t have to be here, you know,” she says, poking me in the chest.

“Yes, I do, Mom. I wouldn’t be anywhere else, and you know it. Andi and I are okay. We both know we’re together and that we love each other. I told her to go and try the job. It’s hard to find a job fresh out of college, and I know it had to be a great opportunity considering how highly she talked about it to Ron. I won’t stand in the way of her happiness, and if this job makes her happy then that’s where she needs to be.”

“So—” she says, then starts coughing. I pour a cup of water from the pitcher by her bed, hold the straw until she stops, then put it up to her mouth so she can drink. She takes a few deeper breaths, as much as she can tolerate through the pain. I feel so bad that she’s going through this. I know it wasn’t my fault, but I still hate to see her in pain.

“Hey now, you need to rest your voice. I don’t want you to worry about me and Andi—we’re just fine. Yes, I’ll miss her, but it’s okay. We spent the past four years apart, so we’re used to being away from each other. At least this time we’re on speaking terms, so it should be a lot better. Now, I’m sure it’s time for some more pain medication, so I’ll tell the nurse on my way out. I want to get some sleep, but I’ll be back first thing in the morning.” I lean down and give her a gentle hug, kissing her forehead.

“You’re such a good son, Ethan. What would I do without you? I love you, son.”

“You’d be lost without me, Mom,” I say jokingly. “I’m kidding, of course. You’re a strong woman; just look at all you’ve been through since you climbed into that car yesterday. Most people wouldn’t have been strong enough to make it out of that wreck alive. I have no doubt you’ll make a complete recovery. I love you too, Mom. Good night.” I give her hand a quick squeeze and she nods at me. I know she has to really be hurting, so I find the nurse and let her know so she can take Mom’s medicine to her. I also make sure they have my number, and then I head home.

I pull out my cell and see there’s no message yet from Andi. I can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment, but I know it’s best for her to concentrate on the road, so I decide to wait until I hear from her before saying anything. I wouldn’t want to distract her anyway.