“None taken,” I said without thinking about it. I hadn’t had time to take offense anyway. My mind was too busy trying to become pliable enough to bend around the unfathomable idea that Alex wanted to see more of me.
“What I’m saying is that there’s something here.” He wagged his index finger between us. “But I don’t want to make more of it than it really is. I mean, if there’s someone else…” Now I was wishing he would stop burning me with that intense gaze.
“I see.” He wasn’t saying we couldn’t be together. I wanted to bounce. I refrained because really, we
couldn’t
. But he wanted us to give it a try—and wasn’t this a wonderful
but
?
“And?” He drew out the question, staring at me. Why was he staring? Had I done something wrong?
“And?” I batted my eyelashes, trying to buy some time. What he
was
saying was that it was up to me to define what we had. Oh God, I
suck
at definitions! Doubly so when the definition I feel like giving is completely inappropriate.
“And, would you like to say something?” His eyebrows were shooting for his hairline, his face such a contrast to the apron that I would have giggled if he hadn’t just opened his heart up to me.
There wasn’t someone else, but that wouldn’t be enough of an answer. I started at the beginning. “I met Constantine a few months after I was turned. He was my sponsor.” The blank look from Alex made me elaborate. “He was the one in charge of me. He taught me how to choose my prey, how to deal with missing my family, how to not let the thirst take me over.” And I’d fallen in love with him the moment he’d walked into my room at the VSS, which Alex didn’t need to know.
“He made me stop hating what I’d become. He was there for anything I needed. He showed me some fighting moves and made me read. Reading was what distinguished us from savages, he said. We became lovers.” We had been more than that. He’d made me happier than I’d ever been, and in return I’d let him suck me into his whirlwind of a life—existence, rather.
Alex’s mouth twitched almost imperceptibly, his eyes darkening a shade. I shouldn’t linger on that subject.
“We were together for a couple of years until I walked in on him with another woman. We hadn’t seen each other until tonight.” That didn’t feel entirely honest. “We’d spoken on the phone lots, but not met.”
He was still staring at me. I hadn’t answered his question. “It was weird seeing him,” I heard myself say.
Weird
was an understatement. “But I’m okay.” I really was. “And nothing happened.” That was as much as I could say about my emotional availability. I wanted Alex, and yes, I was over Constantine. Mostly. No, I wasn’t in the best place for a relationship. Yes, I wanted to give it a try anyway. No, I couldn’t do what I wanted. There were repercussions for me to consider.
“Could something happen between you and him in the future?” There was cop face again, only this time I could see his worry seeping through the mask’s cracks.
“I… No. I don’t think so.” I hated the doubt in my voice. “I’m not in love with him anymore, but he’s important to me. I’d like for this to be something, Alex.
Us
. I just don’t think I can be what you need.” There. Full honesty. My cards were spread on the table.
The room was so silent once I stopped talking that I had to tap my foot to make sure I hadn’t gone deaf. I knew I wasn’t what he needed. Alex had the chance to make a family with a human woman who could grow old with him. Nevertheless I wanted him not to let that stop him. Hey, I’m dead, but I’m still a woman.
He leaned forward, hands on his knees. “I’ll go by the office in the morning. Get you the pictures.” That was a change of subject if I ever heard one. So I thought, at least, until he spoke again. “We’ll talk about this more once we’ve solved the case.” He winked. “Until then we’ll just keep fucking.”
If any other man had spoken to me like that after having known me only a couple of days, no matter how carnal that knowledge of me might have been, I’d have snapped at him. Instead I laughed. His tone showed he hadn’t meant it as a slight, and it was nice laughing with him—easy, pleasant. He made it possible for me to be carefree even when my head was filled with problems to be solved.
“Was that a no?” He gave me a lopsided smile.
I licked my lower lip and walked to him slowly, swishing my hips with every step. “It was a most definite yes.”
The future was so very far away that moment.
Chapter Six
Always my knight in shining armor, Alex had brought the portable television downstairs before leaving for work, but daytime TV wasn’t enough to keep my mind busy. When my thoughts returned to my current situation with Alex, I decided to start counting the bricks in the room. I was halfway through the third wall when he came back.
I knew it was him; the door had been fixed that morning, and it once again needed keys to open instead of just a shove. If it weren’t for the evil sun, I’d have flown up the stairs to meet him and thank him for saving me from my boredom. As it was, I jumped out of bed when he switched the light on, planning on smooching the breath out of him as soon as he set foot on the landing.
His grim expression stopped me in my tracks. “We had another disappearance last night.” He kissed my forehead and passed me by to drop an armful of folders on the bed.
I looked at my feet with their ever-perfect red toenails, ashamed that
my
worst crisis the previous night had been which hot male to sleep with.
“She doesn’t fit the pattern. A bit older and rather…well…isn’t exactly a match, physically.” He hastened to add, “Not that she’s ugly!” He was oozing political correctness, something I knew every police officer was supposed to have in spades.
I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and blew my bangs up off my eyes—really inconvenient hairstyle to carry with me indefinitely. “Maybe her disappearance is not related?”
Shaking his head, he sat down on the bed and patted the mattress next to him. I sank down by his side, rubbing his neck with one hand while he opened the first folder.
“She disappeared from a nightclub.” He didn’t find what he was searching for, so he checked the second one, letting out a huff before tossing that one aside too.
“Maybe she just wanted a change of scenery and will show up eventually?” His shoulders were full of knots, so I slid behind him, legs outside his, and used both hands to massage him there.
“She has a kid. She wouldn’t have left him willingly,” he said in a low voice, shuffling through more papers. I was about to point out that there are some horrible mothers in this world when he cursed under his breath. “Finally!”
An uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach made me stop what I was doing and glance over his shoulder at the picture he held. It was a passport picture and not a recent one.
“Theodora Williams,” Alex said. He didn’t have to.
I knew the big, earnest eyes looking out at me from the face with the prominent angles. Her hair was longer than she’d been wearing it since I’d first met her, her cheekbones sharper, her neck slimmer. Still, there was no doubt in my mind. Even in a photograph that had been taken something like ten years earlier, I recognized the girl.
Dotty.
Alex was still talking, but I wasn’t listening. His voice only sounded like background noise to my ears, lost as I was inside my thoughts. Had Dotty been randomly targeted, or did my maker know where I lived? Who my friends were? I could be the one to blame for Mark’s losing his mother. Doubt and self-recrimination were circling in my mind like sharks in a tank, and in these circumstances, I wasn’t a good swimmer.
“I know her,” I said after several long moments. “She lives in my building. We’re friends…sorta.” It couldn’t be a coincidence.
He turned, trying to meet my eyes. When he couldn’t, he rose and sat again so he could face me. “I’m sorry, Cherry. We’ll do everything we can.” He reached for my hand, and I let him take it but couldn’t accept the solace he was trying to offer.
“Mark. Where is Mark?” I couldn’t believe I hadn’t asked that sooner.
“With his dad. Dad went to drop the kid off, and there was no sign of Dotty. They waited, but she didn’t show. The boy said she was out with a guy she’d been seeing, but we have no name or description.”
“Can’t you find him from her phone records?”
“We’re waiting for the judge to sign the subpoena.”
Waiting. I wasn’t good at waiting. I pulled away from his touch. “We have to do something. I think it’s because of me. Of our looking into this case.”
His other hand found my shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. “Don’t do that. She was unlucky. We’ll—”
“No.” The word came out so harshly that it reverberated off the walls and came back to me sounding like the snap of a whip. “It had nothing to do with luck, bad or otherwise. She doesn’t fit the profile. You said so yourself. She isn’t young enough and has family. If she was indeed taken by Willoughby, it can’t be for the same reason. It’s to get to me, like breaking in here was to get to you.”
“But we don’t know why the others were taken.” There he went with the sense making again. “We still don’t know why
you
were turned.”
“You think my turning is connected?” My eyes widened at the thought. Up until two nights earlier, I’d thought I was supposed to have died on the night of my turning. Since finding out that the man who’d taken me to the council had lied and had been working with the vampire who’d turned me, I had realized I’d been wrong, but what he was suggesting was…
“I do.” His thumb drew circles on the back of my hand. “And I’m going to find out how.”
I stood so quickly that I’d have felt dizzy if I were alive. “We can do that later. We
will
do that later. First we have to find Dotty, though.” I itched to sink my teeth in the throats of those responsible for it all.
“
We
will do nothing until it’s dark outside,” Alex said, heading toward the stairs.
“Where are you going?”
“Gotta make some phone calls.”
I wondered what good that would do but said nothing. Instead I paced while waiting for him to come back down. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was the reason Dotty was in danger, and I was restless with the need to act. Wouldn’t stupid dusk ever come?
“…one of you can come in.” Alex got in my way, snapping me out of my internal musings.
“What?” I had no clue what he was talking about or when he’d returned to the basement. Vampiric senses, my ass.
“I said, at least we know only one of you can come in.”
“Where?”
“In the house,” he said. “
This
house. Only one vampire can come in other than you. My mother said two guys came by a few days before she left. They were selling cable service. She’s had no other visitors that she didn’t know.”
I was perplexed. As was becoming a habit, he read my facial expression all too well. “I told her there was a burglary in the neighborhood, asked if she’d seen any strangers around.”
I nodded. I hadn’t even noticed him call his mother on the phone. “Is she sure?”
“A hundred percent. My mother is a hell of a gossip. The cable service guys refused to say anything about themselves, and it struck her as odd. They were also very insistent about coming inside the house but didn’t stay for more than five minutes.” He ghosted his knuckles down my cheek. “Are you okay?”
I was ready to say that yeah, sure I was okay. I was
fine
. “No. I want to go by Dotty’s, see if I can find anything out.”
“We’ve already spoken to her son and her ex-husband.”
Of course they had, but I was certain I could find out more than Alex’s colleagues had. “Mark said she was out with the same guy she’d been seeing for a couple of weeks.” I should have asked her about that guy last time she’d wanted me to babysit. “Sure none of our neighbors has seen him?”
To his credit, Alex didn’t look upset that I was more or less questioning how he did his job. He shook his cell phone in the air. “Called Lieutenant Roebuck again. Nothing yet. We’ll keep asking around, but there’s not much to go on. Guy might as well be a ghost.”
“I have to go, Alex.”
“No, you don’t. What’s more, you can’t. Her place is filled with cops. They’re questioning all her neighbors. If you show up, they’ll ask questions, and if they need to talk to you for hours, they won’t be very understanding of your sun allergy.” His voice rose gradually. “Just let us handle it, all right?”
“No, it’s not all right. I
need
to do something about it, and you can’t stop me!”
“Cherry.” His tone was pleading now. “Cherry, please try to understand. It’s our
job
.”
“Well, you’re not very good at it, are you? Those girls can attest to that!” I regretted the words the moment they were out of my mouth.
His face fell and closed up at the same time. He was still looking at me but with narrowed eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “That was cruel.”
“You think?”
“I’m sorry,” I said again and leaned my forehead against his broad chest. “I hate being unable to help her.”
His arms came up around me. “I know the feeling. I promise my guys are doing their best. They’re gonna turn the place upside down to find clues about her guy.”
The calmness that washed over me when he embraced me was unsettling. I couldn’t let myself lean on him like that when he wouldn’t be around for long. “I still believe I can do more,” I said, trying to pull away. “I know her. Your guys don’t. And poor Mark must be scared to death.”
“He’s with his dad.” He wouldn’t let go, and I didn’t want to force him to.
“His dad is a first-class jerk, Alex. Please let me go.”
He sighed so deeply that my head rose and fell against his chest. “Can you get in and out of her apartment unnoticed? The kid may tell you more than he did the officers, but he’s not alone.”
“I can make the others not notice me.” I hung my head and looked up at him through lowered eyelashes. He’d made his thoughts on mind control clear.
He surprised me by kissing the crown of my head. “You’re not going to hurt anyone.” It wasn’t a question or a demand, more a statement of fact, yet I felt the need to reassure him.