Child of Venus (29 page)

As she passed the entrance to the tunnel and turned toward Risa's house, she thought of Ragnar and how he was trying to reconcile his dreams with the restrictions on his life.

“Mahala,” a voice said from behind her.

She turned to see Malik coming toward her from the tunnel. “What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Risa asked me to come,” he replied.

She turned toward the house and saw then that Risa was outside, sitting under a tree, and wondered why her grandmother had said nothing to her about this.

“Did she say why?” Mahala asked.

“No.” He walked toward Risa; Mahala followed him. He stopped a few paces away from Risa, who got to her feet and gazed at him in silence.

“You look much the same,” Risa said.

Malik said, “I would have known you, Risa. You haven't changed very much.”

“Oh, but I have. It's why I asked if you would come now, after the dome darkens. You'd see an older face if you had come here at first light. You'd see my gray hairs.”

“Is Kolya Burian still part of your household?” he asked.

“Oh, yes.” Risa glanced toward Mahala. “Kolya came here with Malik from Earth,” she added, although Mahala already knew that; Kolya had told her the story many times.

She lingered near her grandparents, then moved toward the house. “Don't
go,” Risa murmured. “What I have to say concerns you, too.” She sat down again,
then gestured to Malik to sit with her. “My bondmate Sef has never been a jealous man, but it
will reassure him to see us all sitting out here together. He knows how much I once cared for you,
how much I loved you.”

Malik seated himself. Mahala hesitated, then sat down next to her grandmother.
“I should have cared for you more,” the Habber said. “I should have loved you
more. I have often thought of what I might have done differently.”

“What you might have done was not to have become my bondmate at all, but I didn't leave you much choice, telling you that I wanted your child whether or not we ever made a pledge, whether or not we were ever bondmates.”

Mahala had not heard that tale before. “I could have refused,” Malik said.

“It's just as well that you didn't. We wouldn't have had Mahala then.” Mahala felt Risa's hand on her arm. “That's why I asked you here, Malik. I want you to look out for our granddaughter.”

“There are enough people to look out for me,” Mahala objected.

Risa's grip tightened. “Be quiet, Mahala,” she said. “You don't know what I mean to ask Malik. You told me that you want to see Earth.”

“Yes, I do.”

“And why do you want to go there? Is it mostly to be able to study at the Cytherian Institute, or is it mostly so that you can see our—humankind's—home planet?”

“Those are both good reasons,” Mahala said, “aren't
they?”

“Of course they are, child. But you can experience any part of Earth with a mind-tour and without the trouble and inconvenience and discomfort of actually going there.” Risa paused. “As for the Cytherian Institute, I think their main purpose in bringing students there from our settlements and Islands is to further the aims of the Council of Mukhtars, to build more loyalty to Earth.”

“That doesn't mean they'd succeed in doing that with me.” Mahala took a breath. “Just one time, I'd like to stand outside a dome, breathe open air, be on the surface of a world with nothing to protect me.”

“You might not be able to endure it,” Risa murmured. “Then they'd have to send you back here, troublesome and costly as it would be.”

“Then I'd know for certain that I couldn't live elsewhere, that this is the environment for me, but at least I would have seen something else in my life.”

Her grandmother let go of her arm. “Some say that the Habbers are looking for a way to gain more control of the Project and speed its progress, while others say that they are thinking of abandoning this solar space altogether. I have only one request to make of you, Malik. If there is a chance for Mahala to go on whatever voyage the Habbers might make, to have whatever adventure might lie ahead for her, do what you can to see that she gets it if that's what she wants. You won't be stealing my granddaughter from me. She is not to torment herself thinking that she has betrayed me or this world by making such a choice.”

Mahala felt that she had to object. “I wouldn't—”

“Hush,” Risa interrupted. “If you go on such a journey and there is any way to return, you'll find it. That is all I have to say to both of you. Do whatever you feel you must do.”

Risa stood up and faced Malik. “I was so angry with you for running away, for
going to the Habbers,” she continued, “but I think it must be easier for you to be an
outsider there than to live among us as one.”

“You still know me fairly well,” Malik said.

“I won't ask you inside. It's better if I don't. But before you leave Oberg, do call or leave a message.”

“I shall,” Malik said.

“Go,” Risa said, dismissing him. “Mahala, come inside.”

Two days after Risa had spoken to Malik, Mahala went to the airship bay to board the ship going to Turing. Malik had spoken to her only a few hours ago, saying that he had changed his mind about coming with her. Perhaps Dyami had said that he was not welcome in that settlement, although that was unlikely.

Frania had told Mahala that she had over two weeks off and would be there to meet the airship. Mahala, sitting down in one of the front seats, thought of her friend as she watched the pilots put on their bands and suddenly felt how much she missed Frania, how much she longed to be in Turing again.

Frania was waiting just outside the airship bay. She ran to Mahala, threw her arms around her, then reached for her duffel. “I should have sent you more messages than I did,” Frania said, “but with this apprenticeship, about all I felt like doing at the end of the day was grabbing a meal and then going to sleep.”

“You don't have to make excuses,” Mahala replied. “Sometimes that was about all I could do, too.” She had sent her friend only two messages.

“Feel like walking?” Frania asked.

“Sure.”

“I've got a lot to tell you. I'll be taking airships up to the
Islands soon. I'll be able to visit you when I get to Island Two. And—” Frania
paused. “I don't know if I should tell you this. I promised I wouldn't.”

“I can keep a secret,” Mahala said.

“I know you can. It's just—oh, I have to tell you. It's Ragnar. He wants us to make a pledge, to be bondmates.”

Mahala stopped suddenly, thinking she had misunderstood. Frania halted next to her. “What is it, Mahala?”

“Nothing.” Mahala steadied herself. “I'm just surprised.”

“So was I. He only asked me for a promise a couple of days ago, right after I
got back here.” Frania set down Mahala's bag. “How thoughtless of me, when I know
you and Ragnar—” She stood there, staring at Mahala with her beautiful hazel eyes as a
passenger cart rolled past them. “He told me all about it. He wanted to be honest with me. He
admitted that he had asked you for a pledge and you had said no, so I was certain you'd be
over him by now.”

“It's all right,” Mahala made herself say. “It's past. You mustn't worry about that.”

“I promised him that I'd become his bondmate. I wouldn't have promised that if I thought there was any chance it would hurt you. I could have waited.”

“I know that,” Mahala said, still feeling numb, surprised at how affected she was by Frania's words.

“We don't know when we'll have the ceremony yet, whether we should make our pledge before I start shuttle pilot training or afterward. It probably depends on whether he can get a work assignment on the Islands.”

Frania reached for the duffel. Mahala grabbed for the bag and hefted it onto her shoulder. “Let me carry it as far as the tunnel, Frani.”

They walked on. Frania spoke of her training and some of the friends she had made among the other apprentice pilots. Mahala listened, thinking of Ragnar and Frania and the pledge they had promised to make. Clearly she had shown good judgment in refusing Ragnar's offer. She had given him time to realize that he did not love her so much after all, and losing her had allowed his feelings for Frania to flower. She could tell herself that, but she did not really believe it.

He had turned to Frania only to ease the hurt inside himself. With a few words to him, Mahala might even convince him that asking Frania to be his bondmate was a mistake. She hated herself for the thought.

Dyami and Amina knew just how to behave at dinner, letting Mahala talk of her studies and her fellow students and prompting her occasionally with a question, careful not to be unduly inquisitive. Frania said little, but surely her aunt and Dyami had noticed the glow in her eyes and her obvious happiness and wondered at the cause.

Tasida was staying in the south dome for a few days, seeing two patients there who were recovering from serious injuries after a wall had collapsed on them during a recent quake. Ragnar was absent, but Frania had already told Mahala that he was working late shifts with the crawler and digger workers. That was a relief; he would be sleeping during the days and working in the evenings. With any luck, she would hardly have to see him at all.

“I am surprised,” Dyami said then, “that Malik didn't come here with you.”

Mahala looked up from her bowl of fruit. “Didn't he send you a message?”

“No, he didn't. Risa mentioned that she had seen him briefly, and you had
implied that he might come here with you. I didn't want to ask you about it before, but when
you didn't say anything;—”

“He sent a message just before I left Oberg saying that he decided not to come with me. I thought he might have sent you the same message.”

“Well, he didn't, so I must assume that he's not coming at all.” Dyami looked disappointed. Of course, Mahala thought. He must have been hoping that Malik might have a message for him from Balin.

They finished their supper. Mahala helped Frania clear the dishes. The two girls sat up for a while after Dyami and Amina had gone to sleep; Frania seemed anxious to tell Mahala about her plans. She would finish her apprenticeship as a pilot and was even hoping for a chance to train for being a torchship pilot. She would have to live on an Island if she was assigned to shuttle duty later on, but she would prefer a home in one of the settlements, and there was a good chance she would have that wish granted because most of the pilots preferred shuttle duty to airship piloting. A home in a settlement, rather than on an Island, would give her more time with Ragnar and any children they might have.

“Ragnar's a digger and crawler worker,” Mahala said. “How can he live on an Island if that's where you end up? He's needed here, not there.”

“There are other things he can do. The Islands need workers, too. He could train as an apprentice to a mechanic. He told me that he was already learning about homeostat repairs and life-support systems.”

“He'd have to go through another apprenticeship.” Mahala said.

“He's willing to do it. Besides, if we're bondmates and I have to be on the Islands, the Counselors would want to keep us together. If Ragnar needs to learn another skill or do another apprenticeship for that to be possible, I'm sure that he could get permission.”

Ragnar seemed to have his life planned, or perhaps Frania was planning it for him. Mahala had no way of knowing what he thought anymore.

“I've been talking about myself ever since you got here,” Frania continued. “Tell me what you've been doing.”

Mahala described some of her courses and teachers, then mentioned a few of her fellow students. Her life seemed unfocused next to Frania's.

A question suddenly came to her. “Frani,” she said, “this may seem a strange thing to ask, but what would you do if you had the chance to travel somewhere—well, besides Venus and Anwara and Earth?”

Frania laughed softly. “There isn't anywhere else, at least not any place we're ever likely to go, unless you want to count Mars and the Habitats.”

“Would you welcome the chance to see a Hab?”

“I wouldn't mind visiting one or seeing Mars, for that matter. If I had the chance, I'd take it.”

“What about leaving this system altogether?”

“Oh, Mahala. That wouldn't be like traveling to another place. People would have to leave without knowing what they would find and whether they would ever get back. I think that if human beings were going to do something like that, they would have done it a long time ago, but Earth doesn't have the means, and the Habbers seem content to stay where they are.”

“Things could change.”

“They won't change that much. Not for us, anyway.” Frania yawned. “I was going to wait up for Ragnar, but I'm exhausted.”

“Go to sleep,” Mahala said. “You're supposed to rest during your time off.”

“You're right.” Frania walked across the room, still yawning, and
rolled out one of the futons, then wandered toward the bathroom. Dyami had told Mahala that she and
Frania could sleep in the common room, since Ragnar was sleeping in their former bedroom while
working his darktime shift.

Apparently Frania and Ragnar were not sharing a room yet, although they probably would be before much longer.

Now that she had been away from the Islands for a while, Mahala was beginning to see her student's life on Island Two as someone else might see it She was flailing around, picking up a smattering of knowledge in different fields while getting a grounding in biology. If the student Counselors had known about her desire to study at the Cytherian Institute, they could legitimately ask whether that desire grew out of her devotion to her world or only from her longing to see new places. They might wonder why she had agreed to live with Benzi, a Habber, during her earliest days on Island Two instead of in student quarters. The Counselors could question her commitment, even whether she had any true commitment at all. If she passed a few more months following her present course, a Counselor might call her in for a discussion, even suggest that she leave school and choose an apprenticeship.