Finn had other things on his mind. “What’s the crew complement?”
“Sir?”
“How many milits, how many officers? And the rest of the crew?”
“Well, there’s Captain Lachesis and his first and second officers. There’re four of us in the galley, including me and the cook. I’m Nevill, by the way. Five or six maintenance tecks, I think. And a whole lot of workers on the skyhook project and the terraforming, of course.” He topped off his report with an emphatic nod and a grin.
Finn winced at the sketchy information and Edie felt embarrassed for the boy.
“Nevill, do you know about the seeding team?” she asked him, eager to extract more information although not for the same reason as Finn. “How many cyphertecks?”
“Oh, the tecks don’t come to the mess,” he said, contradicting his earlier statement. “They stay on Deck C. Sometimes their teachers come by.”
“Teachers?” A curious word to use.
“You know, their trainers and the op-tecks.”
“Oh.” She smiled her thanks and Nevill made to leave. “Wait, who should I ask about supplies? We need a few things.”
“The quartermaster is Mr Kensee. I’d do it now rather than tomorrow morning because he’s real grumpy before noon.”
“Thanks for the advice. And for bringing lunch.”
Nevill gave a shy smile and left, snapping the hatch behind him. Edie and Finn settled cross-legged on the floor and ate off the low table between the couches.
“Natesa suggested you get work. I guess she’d rather you stay busy. I’m going to be in the labs ten or twelve hours a day.”
“Forget Natesa.” Finn lowered his voice so that Edie had to lean forward to hear him over the music. “This is what we should be concerned about, right?” He tapped his skull—the cryptoglyph.
“There’s nothing we can do about that here.”
“Then we need to not be here.”
She should’ve guessed his thoughts had already turned toward escape. “But how…?”
“I don’t know yet. Opportunities always come up, eventually.”
“I saw boxes of neuroxin implants in the infirmary. If I could steal some, they’d keep me alive a few years.”
“That’s a start.”
“Cat’s out there. She’ll help us.”
“Most likely she’s still in cryo.”
“Then who? The Saeth?”
Finn gave a small shrug. “The war’s been over for years. I don’t know how many survived, or if they’ve disbanded. I don’t know how to find them. But we’ll get out of here, Edie. I just need to know you haven’t forgotten the mission.”
Edie put down her fork. “I haven’t forgotten.” She sounded defensive, which wasn’t what she’d intended. “Finn, I’m on your side.”
“I know.” His lips quirked into a quick smile that disarmed her. The intensity in his eyes reminded her of the first time they’d met, when he’d trusted her to save his life—and of all the moments since then, the connections they’d forged because no one else had been on their side.
Silence between them stretched several seconds too long as those moments flashed through her mind. Looking away, she fumbled with the tray and pushed her plate aside.
“I’m exhausted,” she said, “and you look worse than I feel. Let’s get some blankets for that couch. Um, you can take the bedroom if you want.” On the
Hoi
he’d spent weeks cooped up in a tiny annex next to her quarters. Here there was no reason he couldn’t have a proper room, at least until Natesa threw him out.
“The bed’s yours.” He thumbed over his shoulder, toward the window. “I’ll take the view.”
They found Mr Kensee’s supply room on Deck E. He was an older man, probably a retired milit judging from his bearing, and despite Nevill’s warning he gave the appearance of being perpetually jolly.
“Take what you want. And call me Ken.”
They piled changes of clothes and other supplies onto the countertop. Everything down to the underwear and toothpaste was stamped with the CCU logo. Edie wished for Cat Lancer’s feminine touch as she selected a heap of bland tees, slate-blue pants, and unscented shampoo.
“If you need anything special,” Ken said, “you know, out of the ordinary, I’ve got a nice little supply in the back. Nice prices, too.”
Edie gave him a polite smile without comment. She didn’t want to tell him she had no creds. She was expecting that her account would be set up soon. As for Finn, he was no longer a serf toiling at the Crib’s pleasure, and if he took on work here, they had to pay him, too.
Ken didn’t comment on their choices, although he seemed a little disappointed they didn’t want anything from his special stash. He noted everything down on his inventory list and organized a couple of toms to haul the stuff. The toms
tugged a pallet behind them, dutifully following Edie and Finn back to their quarters.
Edie was ready to crash without even putting anything away, but it seemed rude to leave everything lying around in the sitting area, which was now Finn’s room. While he disappeared to take a shower, she sorted the clothes. Her limbs moved mechanically as sleep became a more and more desirable goal. With an armload of clothes, she took a step into the corridor between the rooms and caught a quick glimpse of Finn’s silhouette behind the semi-opaque shower screen before pulling back. The last thing she wanted to do was treat him like everyone else did, like a serf who had no right to respect or privacy.
Returning to the sitting room, she dropped her clothes on the couch, changed into loose-fitting pants and a tank top in preparation for bed, and sat to wait for Finn to finish. After a few moments, her head was on that soft pile of clothes and she stretched out on the couch and closed her eyes.
A comforting warmth radiated along Edie’s body. When she pulled herself out of sleep, she found herself looking at the viewport with its breathtaking vista of the planet. The clothes she’d used as a pillow lay scattered on the deck. The warmth was Finn’s body, curled around hers. His skin touched her skin at a few distinct places. Her shoulder blade against his bare chest. Her lower spine against his stomach. And his hand resting on her hip, burning through the fabric of her pants. His breaths, rhythmic, disturbed the hair at the crown of her head—Edie remained still, enjoying all the sensations.
She wanted to turn toward him. More than wanted—her body thrummed with the need for contact. But it sounded like he was asleep, and if awakened, he might pull away. Or worse, send her away.
The effort to remain still and calm was too much for her. It was hardly fair—she may have fallen asleep on his bed, but he was the one who’d chosen to join her.
“Finn?” she whispered experimentally, quietly.
“Yeah?” he answered, fast enough to suggest that he’d been awake all along.
Feeling brave, she turned onto her back, relishing the feel of his hand sliding across her hip and coming to rest on her stomach. He remained on his side, his cheek lying on the bicep of his other arm, which he bent so that his fingers could play with her hair where it flopped over her forehead.
“Are you cold?” he asked.
“No.”
“You’re trembling.”
Because I want you.
Edie clenched her fists and reminded herself of all the reasons this was a bad idea. She’d resisted all feelings of desire for Finn, telling herself he couldn’t do his job in protecting her if he was distracted by a sexual relationship. Years ago, her trainer Bethany had died in that very situation when she and Lukas had fallen for each other.
But they weren’t on a rover ship now. Her life was no longer in danger, and no one was forcing him, or even paying him, to watch over her.
“You’re in my bed,” he said.
“You’re taking liberties…” She kept her tone playful.
He slid his fingers out of her hair and made a show of lifting his other hand off her stomach. Now no part of him touched her. She turned her head to face him. He wore an easy half-smile, like he already knew what she would do. She waited a breathless moment, feeling the anticipation build as her skin cooled where his hands had been and the rest of her body heated up, starving for contact.
“I want you to touch me,” she said.
His hand returned to her stomach, this time underneath her top, making her flinch and then relax. She released a shaky sigh as his fingers and thumb stroked parallel paths down the sensitive skin on either side of her navel.
He was taking his time about it. She rolled onto her side and into his embrace. Lips crushed together before limbs had time to adjust. Then she was on him, hungrily, while
his hands slid around to cup her bottom. She pressed against him, overeager in her desperation, and sensed him holding back. He rolled her onto her back, not breaking the kiss, and straddled her but held his body away from hers.
That gave her other opportunities. She dragged her fingers down his chest, feeling his stomach muscles tense under her fingernails, and tugged at his waistband. He groaned and broke the kiss. Reaching down, he grabbed both her wrists and pulled her hands away. He lowered his forehead until it almost touched her chest, breathing hard, his body tense.
Only then did she understand.
The leash. Her arousal was firing up the leash and causing him pain.
Frustration drew an anguished moan from her throat. Anger followed quickly, forcing hot tears to her eyes. She blinked them away before they spilled, untangled her legs from his and slid off the couch. He caught her hand briefly but she pulled away and stumbled across the deck toward her room.
“Edie—”
She didn’t want to face him, didn’t want to talk about it. Of all the reasons she hated the people who’d jacked Finn’s chip to enslave him, this one suddenly felt like the cruelest of all.
Somehow he caught up with her before she made it through the door, pulled her against him and held her while she tried to calm down. She
had
to calm down. Her anger was as tumultuous as her sexual arousal had been. The leash didn’t distinguish. Either way, it blasted his head with static.
Warm in his embrace, the raw emotion subsided but the outpouring hadn’t doused her desire. She pulled back a little, leaning away as his embrace loosened.
“I will fix that,” she said. In truth she had no idea how to, and was terrified to try. Interfering with the leash might cause it to detonate.
He gave an understanding smile while his eyes gleamed with a hint of mischief. “That would be…terrific.”
“I still need to give it some thought first.”
He nodded and let his arms slip away, and she went to her room alone.
It was early evening when Edie awoke. She hadn’t meant to sleep that long and realized with annoyance that her diurnal rhythm was completely reversed from that of the ship.
Her clothes, everything she’d collected from the quartermaster, were piled up on a console near the door. Finn must have brought them in while she slept. She could hear him moving about in the next room. Her mind replayed their last encounter and she wondered how he felt. Embarrassed, perhaps? Frustrated, no doubt. He’d wanted her, and that alone made her feel better.
She leaned in the doorway, feeling as if she needed an invitation to step into his space. He was pulling on running shoes.
“Did you sleep?” she asked.
“A little. Going for a run.”
“You sure you’re up for that?”
“Yeah. May as well find out where that crew key will take me. Besides, I need to get the blood moving.” He looked up. “D’you want to come?”
“Where is there to run?”
“Deck F has some long stretches, according to the schematics I pulled up.” He nodded toward the console in the corner, where the holoviz displayed some basic information about the
Learo Dochais
.
“Sure, I’ll come along.” After two weeks cooped up in the
Peregrine
, a year in cold sleep, and a week before that bedridden with neuroshock, her body was ready to heal itself. She returned to her room to dig out running shoes, then clipped back her hair.
Outside their quarters, a couple of twists in the deserted corridor brought them to a lift. Alone in the car as it descended, Edie finally had the courage to look Finn in the eye. He gave her such a sweet, sad smile that she felt tears
threatening again. And had to look away. This was no good. They had to find a way to be together without the tension and drama.
The lift doors opened on Deck F. A short corridor branched into a longer one that curved to the left in the distance and looped all the way around the outer bulkhead.
Finn set off at a brisk pace and they ran loops in silence. To keep pace with Finn, Edie ran a longer stride than felt natural. Her legs began to ache, not unpleasantly, and the endorphins kicked in. But after five loops she fell back and slowed to a stop to catch her breath. She expected Finn to continue without her, but he turned and walked back.
“Had enough?” he said.
“I need a moment.”
“Let’s go back. No point in pushing it.”
“Okay. I’m hungry, anyway.”
They headed toward the lift. Edie rounded the corner a pace ahead of Finn and saw a flash of movement as a small figure darted into a side corridor.
“Hey…there’s someone…”
Edie jogged to the corridor but there was no one there.
“I saw someone,” she told Finn. “A child.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
Edie checked for unlocked hatches and alcoves along the corridor. Something clattered up ahead. Finn heard it, too, and strode off in the direction of the sound. They turned another corner and pulled up sharply.
A boy stood there in white PJs. His dark hair stuck out in all directions and he had a grin frozen on his face, like he’d been caught red-handed. His grin vanished as he stared at Finn and Edie and realized they weren’t anybody he expected to meet on this deck. He started to back away.
Edie held out a hand. “Hey—don’t run. What’s your name?”
The boy looked around for an escape route. Failing to see one, he boldly drew himself up and crossed his arms.
“What are you doing out of bed?” he said.
Edie held back a laugh. “Don’t be cheeky. Tell me your name and I won’t tell anyone
you’re
out of bed.” Maybe he was the child of one of the workers on board. But there was something disconcertingly familiar about his features—she couldn’t put her finger on what it was.