Chocolate Chocolate Moons (34 page)

Epilogue

CC
IS SENTENCED
to four years at a penal colony on Earth picking pineapples in Hawaii. She always felt that what she did was worth it because Drew’s reputation was ruined. She returned to the Moon in better shape than when she left because of the workout she got living in Earth’s heavy gravity. When her father retired, she became CEO of Carbon Copies Media.

Pluto Pastrami and Breezy Point serve three years for attempted manslaughter. When they’re released, Pluto changes his name to Pluto Picasso and opens an art gallery in River Area. He attracts an affluent clientele when he turns a copy of
Nude Descending a Staircase,
by the French surrealist Marcel Duchamp, upside down and says the staircase is a symbol for financial markets, and—since more people make money in bull markets rather than bear markets—
Nude Ascending a Staircase
is far better artwork than Duchamp’s original. Copies, and copies of copies, sell out overnight.

Breezy becomes an artist using a medium her father invents, making her a technical virtuoso. She paints
Ode to the Forty Thieves
in a cubist style. Scheherazade ignores the work but her lover, Taliban, considers it a signal to start a war.

Scheherazade remains at her job for life. Her business thrives. She sells several of Mona Lisa’s teeth and swears on the head of Medusa, not the supermarket checkout girl, Medusa Feinstein, that they are the real teeth because when she personally took them out of Mona’s mouth, Mona moaned.

Sandy Andreas buys a ten-foot copy of Velázquez’s
Pope Innocent X
from Scheherazade with his face replacing that of the pope and “Big Sandy Is Watching You” in large black letters on the top, and a copy of Poussin’s
The Rape of the Sabine Women
to hang in his home office.

His wife, Solaria, heads the Culinary Institute. She hates the art that Sandy bought, but Sandy says that it is his office and if she didn’t like it, she shouldn’t go in there, so she never did.

Kandy marries a good friend of Solaria’s who is the head chef at Gramercy Gardens. She has a boy and a girl, each of whom look like her and appear every month on the cover of
Beautiful Baby Universe
until they graduate to
Beautiful Teen Universe
and
Beautiful Adult Universe.

Billings Montana owns the largest chain of pizza restaurants on Mars.

Through middle age and menopause, Flo gains a half a pound that she blames on being related to me.

Decibel Point briefly continues to work for several labs, but as soon as he can, he retires to a community in space where he can eat whatever he wants whenever he wants it and never has to feel the effects of gravity again.

I finally learn that Jersey’s last name is Shore. But she says she doesn’t want anyone to know, because getting teased about the name Jersey is bad enough. She quits her job at the Culinary and takes a job at a bank because the smell of money is more appealing than the smell of food.

Trenton is given a large space for a laboratory at Mars Yard. Jersey and Trenton continue to live frugally and mostly on supplements, except for the free chicken soup I send them.

Cortland is Mars’s biggest music producer. He buys a building in New Chicago and transforms it into a work space and living space. It has a recording studio and offices on the four lower levels; each twin has her own apartment on the middle floors. We live in the penthouse, complete with wraparound terrace, full gym and indoor swimming pool. The entire building rotates maximizing views and light.

In total I lose more than 160 Earth pounds. The twins help me get a new wardrobe and hairstyle. And although I am older, I’ve never looked or felt better. But my love of food never wanes.

It’s a typical morning. I say good-bye to my personal trainer and slide into a hot bath. Friends are coming for brunch tomorrow. I consider “oysters and pearls”—caviar-topped oysters on a bed of tapioca pearls in a sabayon-vermouth sauce that I found in an ancient French Laundry restaurant cook book—but although I love it, I think it too ethereal for the occasion and decide that farm-fresh eggs with pancetta and lobster knuckles on a bed of spinach placed in a hollowed-out brioche is a better choice.

I step from the bath and wrap myself in a peach terry-cloth robe. I go into the bedroom and sit on a soft blue-and-white lounge chair. I reach for the holo’s remote and click the cooking channel. Today’s guest on
Interviews with Chef Rachael X-Ray
is Pierre Ambrosias, president and CEO of Half Foods, a company that is revolutionizing the food industry.

“Welcome,” Rachael says. “Today’s guest is Pierre Ambrosias, CEO of Half Foods, a company that combines supplements and nutritional extras such as Growthex and Libido Plus with regular food. His sales have outpaced Congress Drugs’ Freedom Plan. This week he will open his first superstore in New Chicago. Please welcome Pierre Ambrosias.”

There is applause, whistling, and foot stomping. Lights dim, and a full red-robed chorus walks onto the stage, singing and clapping their hands to an old-time Earth spiritual, “Rocka My Soul in the Bosom of Abraham.” Then, as though levitating above the stage in his long white robe, bathed in glowing orange light, on the arms of two young women—one with long green hair called Celery and one with cropped red hair called Tomato—is Pierre Ambrosias.

His image is beamed to a giant screen. I blink several times because I think his image looks like the ceiling at Sistine’s Salon in downtown New Chicago where according to the small print next to the image inserted by the CEO of Manicurists Inc. is God holding out his hand to Adam and gives Adam his first manicure.

Rachael points to a light-blue sofa. Pierre and the two young women sit.

“How did you get started, Pierre?” she asks, leaning in.

“I used to work for Whole Foods Luna on Earth’s moon. I had also studied Congress Drugs’ Freedom Plan. But I had my own ideas and wanted to find a food alternative to the alternatives. And when my wife, Melon, so ripe that she was, died right after eating a cocoanut avocado sundae, I vowed never to rest until I found that way.”

His eyes mist. Celery hands him a handkerchief; Tomato wipes his brow. The chorus chants, “Melon, Melon, Half Foods for Melon.”

I drop the remote, stand up, and scream. “Pierre Ambrosias is Drew! Son of a…” I realize that I may be the only one in the universe able to recognize him from small inflections in his altered voice.

Drew/Pierre turns directly to the camera.

“I want to introduce my daughters, Lettuce and Tomato. Stand up girls and take a bow.” The audience applauds. “See how beautiful and lovely they are, having been raised entirely on Half Foods. My daughters also sing and have their own group, called the Mixed Vegetables. I once knew Molly Marbles Summers, the mother of the Lunar Tunes, and if she is listening, I want her to know my daughters want to be just like their idols, Becky and Lois.”

Rachael X-Ray asks her last question: “And what is your best-selling product?

“Half Foods’ Chocolate Chocolate Moons. I eat some at the beginning and end of every day because they have real taste but no grit.”

I smile, get up and turn off the holo, put my arms out in front of me, stretch, and release. I’m happy that Drew finally found his true calling, albeit a bit theatrical.

We never meet again.

As for me, I have no intention of growing old too fast and smart too late. I have plans.

Stay tuned.

About the Author

J
ACKIE
K
INGON IS
a teacher, writer and artist. She holds a Master’s degree from Columbia University Teachers College in New York City; a Bachelor of Arts from Lesley University in Cambridge, Massachusetts; and a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree from the School of Visual Arts in New York City where she won the outstanding student award.

She has published two articles in
The New York Times
on autism and learning disabilities and one feature piece about her experiences teaching in an inner city school in the south Bronx.

Her paintings have been exhibited in galleries in Washington DC and New York City including the Dactyl Foundation, Washington Project of the Arts, and the United States Embassy to the European Union in Brussels, Belgium. Three works are part of the Estee Lauder collection. She has been a member of the board of the Empire State Plaza Art Commission in Albany, NY and the board of the Friends of Vassar College art museum.

Her short stories have been published in
Flying Island Press-Pieces of Eight, The Fringe Magazine
and
Static Movement Magazine.
Kingon’s story for the blind, entitled “A Rose by Any Other Name,” was recorded by Voice Needs in League, TX.

Jackie Kingon lives with her husband in Bronxville, NY. Chocolate Chocolate Moons is her first novel.

Check out her web site at:
www.jackiekingon.com