Choice of Love (2 page)

For a while, things seemed kind of normal.  She thought that maybe they would settle out with time, but apparently not.  All of a sudden, thing started to change with her, and Tanya didn’t know what was going on with her body.

For a bit, Franklin and her did start to hang out and have secret rendezvous.  She wondered why he was able to stay so late without his wife knowing, but she didn’t really know.  He pretended like he didn’t have a wife whenever they were together, which made it feel even stranger in a sense.  She wanted to talk with him about that, to tell him that she was a tiny bit uncomfortable with the prospect of having to deal with a jealous wife because of their actions.  Then, it happened.  About three weeks after they started to have their secret affair, he started to feel strange.  She brushed it off for a few more weeks, but by week six, the sickness got worse.  Every single morning she would wake up, and Tanya felt like she was going to puke each and every time.  She wondered what the hell it was, but she had no idea where it was coming from.  Tanya looked around, trying to reason with the strange and new things that were happening, but she could only think of one reason for all of this shit.

Pregnancy.

There was no way she would be pregnant.  She used protection with Franklin all the time. She was on birth control, and she made sure to take it.  But then, the sickness got worse, and she was throwing up every single morning and felt tired nonstop.  Then there were the cravings, which she had because she wasn’t able to explain the feelings that she had.  She wanted strange things, but nobody batted an eye. Even Mary didn’t understand, but she knew and brushed it off as Tanya being weird again.  Tanya was shocked at this, but she didn’t know what else to do about it.  Of course, she would wait a bit, but she didn’t know what to really think.

Finally, she decided to bite the bullet and get a pregnancy test.  If it was negative, then she wouldn’t have to freak out anymore, right?  It seemed like it was the logical thing to do, especially since she knew for sure that she definitely wasn’t pregnant.

Or was she?  She thought that she might be, but it might just be a stomach bug or something.

But sure enough, her worst nightmare had happened.  She took the test, and it came up positive.  She looked at the line that was on there, shaking with worry but also with a feeling of excitement.

She was going to be a mom.

She had no idea what the hell she was doing with that.  There was something that she was worried about regarding this, and that was how he would react.  She didn’t know how he was going to approach this, or even if he would.  A part of her wanted to talk to him about it, but another part made her feel sad.  However, they had been talking of a while now.

She grabbed her phone, punching in the number of his business.  She got the receptionist, who had a friendly tone of voice as per usual.  She knew of Tanya, but rarely much about her.  As the receptionist, it really wasn’t her business as to what her boss did with other people, so she treated everyone the same way regardless.

“Hello?” she said.  She could see the smile from here.

“Hi.  Yes, I would like to speak with Franklin. This is Tanya. It’s about a business proposal,” she said.  Tanya knew at this point that there was more going on than just a simple proposal, but what this chick didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

“Oh okay.  Give it just a second,” the receptionist replied.

She waited a bit, and finally, she heard Franklin on the other line.

“Hello there Tanya,” he said with a sultry voice.

“Hey there.  Listen, I have to talk to you about something.  It’s important.  I mean, I don’t think I can wait on this.  Is there a chance that we can meet or something?” she asked.

“Yes we can.  How about eight?  I’m off then and we can meet up in the office,” he said.

She knew that might be a bad thing, especially since she knew that many things have happened there. They’ve had sex there so many times; have had conversations that would only get passionate with time, and other such things.  But she knew that this was a serious matter, and she knew that it had to be done.

“Okay,” she said.

They hung up, and Tanya was shaking.  She didn’t want to tell him what had happened, but what other choice did she have?  She was stuck in this rut, and it was only getting worse with wear.  It’s not like she could magically get an abortion or anything.  Well she could, but she wanted to talk to him first.

She got ready to head on out, doing so and stepping into the building.  It was quiet, so she made her way all the way up.  When she got to the office, Franklin was there, smiling at her.

“Hello there buttercup,” he said with a saccharine voice.

“Hey there.  So we have a problem,” Tanya started.

“What is it?” he ked.

She sat down across from him, grabbing the pregnancy test in a timid manner.

“I’ve been feeling strange over the last couple weeks, and I wanted to see why.  I have no idea what was going on, I just thought I was sick, at least until I grabbed the test.  I’m pregnant Franklin, and it’s your child,” she breathed.

Frank’s disposition completely crumbled.  He was in shock, looking at her with a glance.

“But I thought you were on the pill?  You told me,” he said.

“I am, but it failed,” she replied.

“Shit,” he said.

“Yeah, shit is right,” she mused.

“Well there is more to this here than what meets the eye,” he stated.

She looked at him, realizing what he meant.  She knew that he did have a wife, but he never spoke of her.  It was a sort of territory that neither of them trudged.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Well, that’s something that I’ve failed to tell you.  I’m sorry for doing so, but it’s important to all of this,” he stated.

She looked at him, gazing upon him.

“What is it?” she asked.

“I have a wife.  Her name is Lauren.  We’re miserable together.  I don’t love her.  I honestly haven’t loved her for years.  She’s just with me because I didn’t sign a pre-nup, and I know that she’ll want half of it,” he said.

“But what about us? I mean, I don’t want to raise a child alone,” she stated.  She honestly was going to consider an abortion if she didn’t get any help with it.

“That’s the thing, I don’t know what to do.  I mean, I do like you a lot Tanya, and I want to raise this child with you, but there’s her.  There are her feelings I have to think about,” he said.

“But you knew the risks when you had sex with me.  Why are you backing out now?” she asked.

“Because I’m scared Tanya.  I’ve built up this company from the ground up.  I could lose it all and just get it all taken away in a moment.  Hell, I don’t know what to do about our situation.  I’ve never impregnated someone before.  I honestly thought I was sterile because Lauren could never get pregnant.  But I’m scared to leave her,” he said.

“So you would rather stay with a woman you don’t even life over a woman you do like because of marriage? But you’ve already messed up the sanctity of it by being with me,” she aid

“I know that,” he said.

“So you’re just throwing me to the side to save face.  Wow,” Tanya spat.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do,” he replied.

Tanya was in shock. She couldn’t believe this.  She moved closer, looking at him in the eye.

“You know, I thought that I liked you because you were so strong and headfast.  You acted like everything would be okay when we did this, and that you did it because you hate your wife.  Well fuck you, because you’re choosing to pussy out and ruin two people’s lives, instead of saving one and being happy.  Do you even like me?” she asked.

“Yes I do Tanya,” he breathed.

She looked at him, a sickening feeling in her stomach.  She can’t raise a kid on her own.  She knows that.

“Well I’m sorry, but I can’t raise this child on my own,” she said.

“I’m sorry.  But I don’t want to lose the child.  It’s ours,” he replied.

“I know you think that, but you’re just a sperm donor if you refuse to take responsibility for it. And honestly, I don’t want to raise a child that was made with a man who is too much of a chicken to actually do something about this.  You need to think about us, about the future, and if you’re going to throw it all away, then I will a well.  So what do you think?” she asked.  Tanya wasn’t going to have it.

He paused gulping at the feeling that was inside of him.  He looked at her, his eyes heavy with tears.

“I’m sorry Tanya,” he breathed.  He was crying, but Tanya knew the answer.  He can’t give up the face saving that he is doing, but he is able to stay with a woman that he hates.

“You’re pathetic,” she spat.

Before he could say anything else to her, she got up, walking towards the door.  Tanya felt bad, for she knew what she was going to have to do. She was going to have to abort it. She can’t afford a billionaire’s child, for she could barely take care of herself.  She knew that it was for the greater good to get rid of the damn thing, but it still bothered her that it was even going this way.  For now, she would just have to deal and figure out what to do in the meantime.

She didn’t even look back as she left, for Tanya knew the answer.  He was too worried about his own life to help take care of the life he created, so Tanya wasn’t going to have to deal with that. She felt hurt, sad, and depressed, but Tanya knew deep down that it was for the best.  She needed to do this, for she knew that it would save her life, and the lives around her later on. 

Tanya was crying when she went out to the car.  He chose his wife that he hates over her, but he’s completely okay with sticking his dick into her.  God he was a pig, and Tanya realized that it wasn’t worth it anymore.  She knew that she wasn’t going to be happy actually doing this, so she needed to make an appointment and get rid of it fat.  It hurt her to think about it, but she would have to.

She called the local abortion clinic and asked for a consultation.  It was for three days from now, so she took off work early to go to there.  When she walked inside, she met with the doctors who were all friendly towards her.

“Hello there Tanya, have a seat,” the head doctor said.

She sat down, looking at them with a glance.

“So tell me why you’re here to get an abortion? Why don’t you want your child?” she asked.  She was a nice woman with strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes.

“Because I don’t want to take care of the kid.  I’m not financially and physically ready for it.  Plus I got burned by the father.  I don’t even regard him as the father, but a sperm donor than anything,” she admitted.  Tanya felt sad about this, but she knew what was coming for her.  She needed to get it out of her, for she knew that staying like this was only going to get worse.

“Okay, that makes sense.  So have you had an abortion before?” she asked.

“No.  I’m a bit scared honestly,” Tanya replied.

“Don’t worry.  It’s just a simple procedure.  We take the cells out of your uterus.  You will be knocked out, so you’ll have one final say before we go through with it to opt out if you desire.  But please, use protection for about a year afterwards.  You’re liable to get pregnant again,” the doctor said.

She nodded, feeling nervous about all of this. She wondered if maybe there was some sort of way to opt out.  Would she actually do that?  Maybe, but she wasn’t too sure.

She decided to make that appointment for a week from then.  It gave Tanya enough time to actually think twice about this. She wondered if it was worth it to opt out, but at this point she didn’t think so. The father refused to actually stay with her, but Tanya also felt like it wasn’t fair to the child.  Maybe the kid might grow up to actually be a decent person, unlike their father who gave up on her and instead would rather stay with a bitch they don’t like.  It bothered Tanya that he did that, but then again she kind of knew why.  It was because she was black, and the baby was out of wedlock and considered cheating.  Of course she didn’t know for sure if that was the case, but it seemed like a dead ringer.

She hated to think about what she was doing, but she did frequently.  Finally, when the day came, she felt sick to her stomach, but she got up and went over to the car, driving it to the clinic.  When she got there, she changed into the gown, sitting there and waiting for them to wheel her in.  She didn’t feel confident about this anymore, but rather, she wondered if there was a reason for her to even go through with this.  Maybe keeping the kid would be better for her, maybe not, but she was starting to feel uneasy.

One of the nurses came in, sitting across from her.  Tanya called her in because she needed counsel, but she was starting to grow anxious.

“Are you okay?” the nurse asked.

“I guess.  I’m scared honestly.  I’m scared I’ll make the wrong choice,” she said.

“Well you did this because the guy was a scumbag and left you, right?” she asked.

“Yeah.  We had a baby out of wedlock and he refuses to take responsibility,” she said.

“Well has he tried to contact you since then?” the nurse asked.

She thought about it.  He did once, but she ignored him.  He did try texting her too.

“A few times but I never answered,” she replied.

“Maybe he’s changed.  Honestly, this has happened before.  The thing is, you got to think about yourself on this one.  You’re about to end the life of a child.  I mean, I’m okay with doing it and being the one to help the doctors do so, but at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to live with it.  It’s a loss, and it could be a big one.  If you’re not ready to go through with it, then don’t do it.  Otherwise, you’ll be taken in about thirty minutes to the room where you will get to have all the fun of an abortion,” she said.

Tanya thought about it.  “True. But do you think he still cares?” she asked.

“He might.  I mean, did he seem against you going through with this?” she asked.

“Yeah.  He didn’t want to leave the person he was with, but he cared about me.  It was strange, but I’ve never seen a guy act like such a wuss before,” she admitted.

“I have, and here’s what I did.  I would keep the baby, talk to him, and see if you can change things.  If you can’t, then come on back.  But then again, I’m not the one who is in this position,” the nurse explained.

Tanya agreed, but the woman did bring up a valid point.  Maybe she was rushing into this too fast, and it was only getting worse with wear.  She wondered what to do, but she could tell that it was getting harder with time.

“I think I might cancel,” she said.

“Okay.  I’ll tell the doctors,” the nurse said.

She placed her arm on Tanya’s shoulder in a reassuring manner and left.  Tanya got dressed, feeling a bit nervous about all of this. She needed to see him, to see the man that was important in her life.  She knew that no matter what, Franklin would be the person she would need to talk to.  Maybe he got his head out of his ass and she was able to finally talk to him about things.  But then again, if he hadn’t, then she would have to say goodbye to the baby.  It hurt her to think about it, but she felt something inside of her practically beg for her to go see him.  She didn’t know what it was, but she definitely was ready to see where it would go.  Maybe the truth was right out there in front of her face, and she just refused to look at it.

There was something telling her deep down to go back to his office and to see him.  She felt a little weird about it, mainly after everything that had happened.  When she got there everything was closed, but the door was open.  When she got inside, she took the elevator in a gingerly manner all the way to the top floor, realizing what was going on.  Things had changed, and it seemed like the place had almost an ominous atmosphere.  She walked over to the door, knocking on it and waiting for the moment.  She felt a struggling anticipation that started to erupt within her, and all of a sudden, he opened the door, looking at her with a smile.

“Hello there” he said.

“Hey there,” she replied.

“Well I guess we should talk things out,” he replied.

She walked in, watching him close the door.  She could already feel a change in the atmosphere of this place, but she didn’t know for sure what the hell it was.  But there was something here, something that was different, and she knew that it would change the state of their relationship now, and forevermore.