The boy slid away from him, inching his way down the leather sofa. “Uh, sir, I don’t know what you mean.”
Reuben was not dissuaded. He moved closer to the young blond, reaching up to run the back of his hand across Tristan’s smooth cheeks. “Tristan, you want to win the competition, don’t you?” he said.
“Uh, yes. Yes, sir, of course I do.”
“I’d like that too… really, I would. But you know, sometimes winning involves more than talent.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, it’s not all about you. It’s not just about you having a good voice. You have to win over the hearts and minds of the entire country. I can help you do that, Tristan. I can make sure you succeed.”
“I appreciate it, sir. I really do….”
“Tristan, why don’t you take off your shirt, get comfortable?”
“My shirt?”
“Yes, relax a little, and let me see your body. I want to see how smooth your chest is.”
“Sir?”
“I want to touch you, make you feel good.”
Tristan jumped up off the couch. “Mr. Jameson, I… uh… I’m not like that. I think you got the wrong idea about me….”
“Tristan, take off your shirt and sit back down.” He patted the sofa cushion beside him. “I’m not going to hurt you. I swear. I’m your friend here, and if you cooperate with me, I can guarantee you that you will succeed. You
do
want to succeed, don’t you? You don’t want to go home just yet, not when you just got here?”
Tristan stared at him for a moment, not saying a word. Then slowly he reached down and began unbuttoning his shirt.
J
IMMY
had gone down to the lobby to get some refreshments from the vending machines. He purchased a couple Cokes from the soda dispensers and was headed back to the elevators when he happened to glance up and see a boy standing outside by the main entrance. It was Tristan. He decided to go over and check on him, see if he wanted to watch a movie again. Just as Jimmy made it to the automatic doors, a limousine pulled up. The driver got out and walked around to let Tristan inside.
That was weird. Where would Tristan be going in a limo? Maybe it wasn’t Tristan after all. Maybe there was another kid at the hotel who looked like his brother. Maybe it was Justin Bieber. Jimmy laughed and shook his head. No big deal. He really wanted some time alone with Corey anyway.
When Jimmy got back to their room, Corey was lying on his bed. The television was on, but Corey didn’t seem to be watching it. He was just lying there, staring up at the ceiling.
“Are you all right?” Jimmy asked, placing the cokes on dresser.
“I was just thinking,” Corey said.
“About?”
“About how lucky I am.”
Jimmy stepped over to his bedside and lowered himself onto the mattress. He placed his hand on Corey’s arm. “You mean ’cause you made it this far in the competition?”
“Because even though I didn’t have the easiest life growing up, I had a mom and a sister who loved me. Because I have friends who believe in me. Because the one single thing I’m good at and that I love with all my heart just might be the thing I’ll be doing with my life.
“For a lot of people—most of them—that’s all it ever is. Just a dream. A fantasy. What if I’d never gone to that audition? What if I’d told myself that the chances of winning were too slim, that I couldn’t risk losing my job, that I was too scared to take a chance? That’s probably what a lot of people do. They’re too scared to step out on a limb.
“I know what Megan did to you wasn’t right, but if she hadn’t pushed me to go to that audition, I wouldn’t be here. And if I hadn’t gone to the audition, I’d have never met you.”
“Well, I’m glad she pushed you,” Jimmy said. “I’m real glad.”
“How many people settle for a job and put their passion on the back burner?” Corey asked. “How many people know in their hearts they are destined to do one thing, but allow the events in their life to lead them away from that calling?”
“And that’s what music is to you? Your passion? Your destiny?”
Corey pushed himself up to an upright position and leaned back against the headboard. “Yeah. It’s more than just something I enjoy. It’s my food. It’s my water. It’s the air I breathe. I can’t describe it, but without music—without singing—I’m nothing.”
“It’s a kind of weird industry,” Jimmy said. “So many of us—people like you and me—feel this way about our music, yet the number of people who succeed is so small.”
“What if we don’t make it, Jimmy? What if we get voted off before we ever make it into the Top Twenty-four? What then? Can you just go back to being a grease monkey at the quick lube? Can I go back to running a cash register?”
“For me it’s about more than just being a star,” Jimmy confessed. “Music is so much a part of my heart, that no matter what I do, it’s always there. It’s my salvation. It’s my therapy. It’s what I turn to when I’m happy or sad or scared. So, yeah, I can go back to being a grease monkey if I have to. No matter what happens in this competition, nothin’s gonna take that away from me—my passion for music.”
“When did you figure out….” Corey’s words trailed off, and he left the sentence unfinished.
“That I didn’t like girls?”
“Yeah.”
“I played Little League, and when I was about twelve, I started noticing how cute the other boys were in their uniforms.”
Corey laughed.
“Wasn’t a big deal back then. Folks would tease me, say I was gonna be a lady killer when I got older. Said stuff like, ‘You’re gonna be a heartbreaker.’ I just always expected that at a certain age I’d start to like girls. Then when all the guys I knew started talking about girls, sayin’ stuff about their boobs and things like that… well, I didn’t know what to think.
“I kept waiting for myself to change. I kept thinking that one day I’d just wake up and realize I liked girls. The day never came, though. Instead I started to see that it was guys that I liked.”
“And it scared you?”
“Kinda,” Jimmy admitted. “I thought it was a sin. I prayed about it. Then I met another boy who was like me. Keith was in my history class, and he lived just two blocks over from me. We started to hang out together, and I really liked him. I thought he was kinda cute too. He
was
cute. Big brown eyes. Really skinny. One day I couldn’t help myself. I kissed him.”
“Like you did to me?”
Jimmy smiled. “Almost exactly like that.”
“What happened?”
“I dunno. I guess the same thing that usually happens. You meet someone in high school and fall in love. You think they’re the love of your life and you’ll be with them forever, but after a while, things change.”
“So you broke up?”
“He was different than me. He started telling people about himself.”
“He wanted to be out of the closet, and you weren’t ready for that?”
“Yeah, I guess so….”
“But now?”
“After high school, everything is different. I finally told my brother, then my mama and my daddy. With Charlie being sick, it made me realize life was too short to live a lie. I didn’t choose to be how I am. If I’m this way, it’s ’cause the Good Lord made me, and if people don’t like it, that’s their problem.”
“Jimmy, I never felt this way about anyone before—the way I do about you. You’re the most wonderful guy I’ve ever known.”
“You drive me crazy!” Jimmy said, suddenly standing up and pacing across the room.
“What’d I say?” Corey said, confused.
“Corey!” Jimmy said, exasperated. “You’re all I can think about. Day and night. I can’t get you out of my head. The things you say, the way you smile, even the way you walk. Last night when you curled up behind me in bed, I thought I was gonna just die!”
“And this drives you crazy?”
“You know the rules!”
“Fuck the rules!” Corey shouted.
Jimmy couldn’t contain himself any longer. He lunged toward the bed, grabbing Corey by the waist and pulling him flat on his back. He then took the boy’s head in his hands and kissed him passionately. “I want you so bad,” he moaned.
“Jimmy, please….”
Jimmy continued to kiss him, driving his tongue into the boy’s mouth, groping him, grasping at his clothing. Within seconds, their shirts were discarded, followed by their pants. They lay atop the mattress, caressing the smooth skin of each other’s body. Jimmy felt Corey trail his fingertips up his back, then wrap his hands around Jimmy’s shoulders. All the while he buried his face in Corey’s neck, sucking and lapping his skin with his tongue.
Slowly Jimmy made his way down Corey’s smooth body, finding his nipples. He took them in his mouth, one at a time. Corey cried out, bucking beneath him on the mattress as he grasped Jimmy’s head, running his fingers through Jimmy’s hair. Jimmy was so excited, his heart pounding, and his arousal raging in his boxers. He reached down to grab hold of Corey, and his anticipation increased exponentially as he realized the boy was equally aroused.
Unable to hold back a second longer, Jimmy peeled off Corey’s shorts and took him into his mouth, savoring the hardness, the feel of that smooth skin against his tongue. He inhaled the musky scent as he devoured the young man he’d been obsessing over for the past twenty-four hours.
P
ART
of it might have been the exhilaration Corey felt from making it through the first round of competition. It might also have been something as simple as hormones. Two young gay guys sharing a hotel room together, both attractive, both single. Those would have been the easy explanations.
But Jimmy was more to Corey than just a sexual outlet. He couldn’t deny how attractive Jimmy was. Damn, he was hot as hell. With his tight-fitting jeans, deep voice, and confident swagger, Jimmy was the man of Corey’s dreams. But even more importantly, Jimmy had a heart. He was a person of integrity. He loved his family, especially his little brother. He didn’t tell mean jokes about other people, didn’t laugh at someone else’s expense. He was polite and kindhearted.
And it didn’t hurt that Jimmy knew what he was doing sexually. When Jimmy went down on Corey, he thought he’d died and gone to heaven. The smooth, silkiness of Jimmy’s warm mouth was unlike anything Corey had ever felt.
Of course Corey was eager to return the favor, and that part was even more exciting than being pleasured himself. Taking Jimmy inside of him, tasting him for the first time, was almost enough to make Corey come again. Corey had never known it was possible for a man to be both gentle and aggressive at the same time. Jimmy kissed passionately. He took control and was clearly in charge, yet the way he touched Corey made him feel as if he were being worshipped. He just seemed to know when to push and how far. When to lead and when to back off. When to dominate and when to make love.
All this after only one day. One beautiful night of lovemaking. Well, perhaps technically they hadn’t made love yet, but even that didn’t bother Corey. He was glad that there would be more to look forward to. He loved the progression—starting with a kiss, leading then to heavy petting, followed by pleasing each other orally. And then… eventually, if the time was right and they both were ready… they’d advance further.
Wasn’t that how it was supposed to be? Wasn’t it supposed to be about discovery and exploration? Wasn’t it normal for his heart to swell and his pulse to quicken every time he thought about his boyfriend and what was in store for them?
The problem was that it all could end. Everything could be cut short in an instant. If either of them failed in the competition, they’d be ripped apart. Corey didn’t want to think about that. He didn’t want to contemplate that even if they were both extremely lucky and made it all the way through the first two weeks in New York, they’d be separated afterward. And then it’d be three months until they were together again.
It was a ten-hour drive from where Corey lived to Jimmy’s hometown in Kentucky. After Corey got back home, he’d have to refocus on school and work. The semester had just started, and he’d have a lot of assignments to catch up on. He’d have to work as many hours as possible. The days he’d been gone would create a financial setback for him. Traveling to Kentucky was out of the question.
All he could do was make the best of the time he and Jimmy had together. He realized that they hadn’t known each other long, not even two full days. But they shared a connection. Jimmy was the first person he’d ever met that had the exact same passion for his music. They related to each other on that level. Jimmy was the first person Corey had ever been comfortable enough with to bare his soul.
Corey sat at the desk in the hotel room later that night, writing an essay for his English class while Jimmy slept behind him. He’d made an arrangement with his professor, who was allowing Corey to document his experience at the competition in lieu of assignments listed in the syllabus. He’d have to turn in a term paper when he returned to class. His other instructors hadn’t been as supportive but seemed to understand why he’d be absent for the two weeks. He’d miss their lectures, but was still responsible for the coursework.
“How long you been awake?” the groggy voice behind him asked.
“About an hour,” Corey responded, turning in his chair. “You have bedhead.”
“I know.” Jimmy laughed. “If you still want me after seeing me in the morning—”
“More than ever,” Corey interrupted. He got up from his chair and stepped over to the bed, offering a sweet wake-up kiss. “We can take a shower if you want,” he suggested.
An hour later they were in the conference room having breakfast. Teri and Jeremy joined them, both nervous about the day ahead of them.
“I’m just freaked,” Teri admitted. “After seeing Sam get cut, I’m scared.”
When Jeremy grabbed her hand, Corey wondered exactly what was going on between them. A romance, perhaps? “Sam really fucked up,” Jeremy said. “I really wasn’t surprised she got cut. She didn’t take it seriously.”
“You know, she did, though. It’s just that people deal with things differently. I think she was terrified of what might happen, and that’s why she got so wasted the night before.” Teri placed her other hand atop Jeremy’s.