Christmas Wishes (22 page)

Irene thought of the dramatic events of the evening and of Alex’s words of praise. She began to hurry.

In the Lawrence kitchen, Gillian was hanging the cups on the dresser – Joy could hear the tinkle as the cup handles slid over the brass hooks – and Joy herself was carrying the uneaten scones back into the pantry. They usually had a cup of cocoa and a scone or a couple of biscuits before going to bed, but had agreed not to do so tonight since it was getting late.

Alex was beginning to say that the girls should go up to bed at once after such an eventful day when Joy cleared her throat meaningfully. ‘Hang on, Daddy; don’t walk out on us just yet,’ she pleaded. ‘I’ve got something rather important to say.’

‘Right, sweetheart, but make it snappy,’ her father said. ‘I take it it’s something you didn’t want Irene to hear?’

‘No, no, I don’t mind who hears,’ Joy said at once. ‘But I don’t want you, or anyone else, to get the wrong impression. You know I’ve asked Colin Braddock to come round once or twice – well, of course you do, Daddy, because you’ve taken messages to Jerome for me – well, when those girls were attacking me, I realised that if only I’d done as Colin had suggested and gone to the LSB, I should have been taught self-defence. As it was, it never occurred to me that someone might mean me harm. I should have sensed danger, but I didn’t. I let them grab my arms whilst we were still only yards from the main doors into the college, whereas if I’d been trained the way Colin said, I should have pulled free then. Even if I’d only refused to go with them, someone would have come to my aid. So, in a way, the fact that I was beaten up was my own fault. But it’s a mistake I shall never make again – not just being so gullible, but turning down a marvellous offer like a place at the LSB. So, if you’ll agree, Dad, I want to start there at the beginning of next term.’

Alex said nothing for a moment, but when he did speak he sounded bewildered. ‘But Joy, love, you’ve always said you’d not move away from home. If you’re frightened that the girls may come after you again …’

‘No, it’s not that,’ Joy said quickly. ‘I think perhaps what those two girls did to me was a – a sort of catalyst, if that’s the right word. It occurred to me then how little I’ve done to grow used to being blind, to tackle it if you like. To be honest, for one awful moment I thought I – I might be going to die … oh, I don’t know, but in that moment it seemed to me that I was a pretty feeble sort of person not to try to improve my lot in life.’

Gillian, who had been clattering dishes in the sink, came over to the table and put a hand on Joy’s shoulder, giving it an affectionate squeeze. ‘I would be so glad if good did come out of such a terrible incident,’ she said. ‘But won’t you be lonely if you go to the LSB? And I can’t forget that if I’d stayed with you …’

Both Joy and her father cried out at this, Alex saying that one should not dwell on past events which couldn’t be changed, and Joy protesting that she should have been perfectly capable of looking after herself. ‘And if I go to the LSB, it isn’t just self-defence I’ll be learning, but a great many other things as well. As things are at present, what sort of work could I do? I shan’t pass my School Certificate, but even if I did it wouldn’t increase my chances of getting a job because I’m blind. Oh, I’m sure I’ll be able to see again one day, but that day may not arrive for ages, so in the meantime I want to go to that school and learn Braille, and touch-typing, and … oh, all sorts.’ She turned to where she knew her father was sitting. ‘And anyway, next term Edward will be moving on to take the Higher School Certificate at that grammar school on the far side of Prince’s Park. He’s said he’ll talk to his pals and choose someone really responsible to take his place, but he won’t have to do so if I’m in London. So what d’you think?’

There was a long silence, during which Joy could imagine Alex and Gillian staring at her, open-mouthed. They must remember how adamant she had been against any suggestion that she attend the school. But surely the explanation which she had just offered them must be sufficient to allay their fears that she would be dreadfully lonely so far from her family and all their friends. She realised she was crossing her fingers and burst into speech again.

‘Daddy? Gillian? What do you think?’ she repeated. ‘Even before the attack I was beginning to see I’d been an idiot to turn down the chance of going to the LSB. But I was still dithering until one day last week, when Colin came calling; you were at work, Daddy, and Gillian was playing tennis. He said he could stay with me for half an hour, so I decided to ask him more about the school. I know I snubbed him when he tried to talk about it before, but I’ve realised lately that it’s downright stupid to criticise something you know nothing about. And honestly, once Colin began to talk, I suddenly saw what a fool I’d been. Daddy, it sounds a fantastic place; they’ve got a gymnasium, games courts … all sorts of things, and all geared to people who’ve lost their sight. Did you know they take you to a theatre where there are listening devices especially for the blind? You plug them in and put earphones on and a voice tells you what’s happening on the stage; not when the cast are actually speaking, of course, but in the quiet bits, which would baffle anyone who couldn’t see. And of course they teach you all the things you’ll need when you are at work, like Braille and touch-typing. Colin made me see how daft I’d been, and when I said I was thinking of taking his advice and asked about money, he told me about that, too. He said the Institute would pay my fees, but of course I would need an allowance for food, clothing, bus fares … that sort of stuff.’ She turned her head towards her father who was sitting in his usual place at the head of the table. ‘Daddy? Would it stretch our budget too much? If so …’

‘We’d have to feed and clothe you if you only sat at home all day,’ Alex said. Joy could hear from his voice that he was surprised, but realised that he was also delighted. ‘Only, are you sure it’s truly what you want, queen? You’ve always been dead set against leaving home, being parted from Gillian …’

‘I’m certain sure,’ Joy said firmly. ‘I’ve wasted three months whining and pottering about the house, and now I’m going to take my future into my own hands.’ Once more she sensed her father’s surprise, and laughed. ‘That’s what Colin said when I told him I was thinking about applying. Will you help me with the papers and things, Daddy? Only I can’t fill in forms or write letters, which is why touch-typing will be such a boon. Oh, Daddy, do say you understand!’

‘I understand, and I’m sure Gillian does as well,’ Alex said slowly. ‘We’ll both help you in any way we can. Oh, queen, how I’ve longed to hear you say something so positive! I’ve talked to Colin several times when he’s come to the station in order to walk home with Jerome, and he’s said over and over how important it is for someone who is blind to take every bit of help and advice they can get. As you know he only attended the LSB for a short while, but wishes he had been able to stay for the whole of the three-year course. If you can stick it, my darling, you’ll very soon realise how many doors such a course can open for you. I’ve never talked about it to anyone apart from Colin, because I thought your mind was dead set against it, but now, if you’re truly sure …’

‘Oh, I’ve grown up a lot in the past three months,’ Joy said. ‘And when someone grinds dirt into your hair and hits you and swears at you, it’s time to do something about it. Believe me, I’ve thought it all out and it’s what I want. Gillian? What do you think?’

‘I think you’re doing the right thing, and besides, you can always change your mind,’ Gillian said. ‘If you hate it, a telephone call to the fire station will bring us running.’ She leaned over and rumpled Joy’s hair. ‘I wish I had your courage, old girl, but I’ll back you all the way whatever you decide to do. If there was a school here in Liverpool …’

‘But there isn’t,’ Joy cut in at once. She smiled broadly. ‘Think of it! London and all the theatres and museums and galleries, all the parks and squares and gardens … and all the people at the school who are in the same boat as myself! Oh, Gillian, I can hardly wait – and I’ll be home for the school holidays, of course.’

‘If you’re as sure as you sound, I’m all for it, though we’ll miss you most dreadfully,’ Gillian said. ‘And you’ll miss us; that goes without saying. But you’ll start at this school in September, I suppose, so we’ve got all the summer holidays to get used to the idea. And remember we’ve got our trip to Devon to look forward to first!’

The long-awaited visit to the Dodmans had been a delight from start to finish, despite the inevitable tears when the twins, whooping with joy, had run into the arms of their kind foster-parents, Gillian leading Joy by the hand and practically casting her on to Mrs Dodman’s welcoming bosom. Far from being embarrassed by his wife’s show of emotion, Mr Dodman had had to clear his own throat once or twice when Joy had run her hands over once-familiar objects and announced that she had not truly appreciated them before, but would never forget them now. A happy week had been spent by all, and on the long journey home Gillian had declared that the Dodmans must be the best second-best parents in the world.

Now, sitting between her father and Gillian in the taxi which was taking her on the first stage of her journey to a new life, Joy reflected that the change she faced was no less momentous than the one which had confronted herself and Gillian on evacuation day so many years before. Alex was going to accompany her right to the school, and would carry her large suitcase, whilst she held her white stick and had a haversack slung across her shoulders.

Gillian was coming along to see her off and would then catch a bus or a tram out to St Hilda’s, for though she had begged to be allowed to go to London as well both Alex and Joy had vetoed the idea. ‘You’re in the Lower Fifth now and a responsible young lady; it won’t do your reputation any good if you aren’t in class for the first day of the autumn term,’ her father told her. Joy, more frankly, had said that she would need all her father’s attention on this, her first journey of any length since the accident. ‘I know you, twin,’ she had said severely when Gillian had pleaded to accompany them. ‘You’ll keep butting in to point out something of interest, or you’ll swing round and knock against my haversack when trying to get someone’s attention. Or you’ll start chattering when I need to be able to listen.’

They had been sitting in the kitchen whilst Alex, brow furrowed, drew little maps in a small notebook, telling the twins that he was trying to discover the best route from Euston station to the school. Gillian had pouted. ‘How can you be so mean, Joy Lawrence? I don’t chatter … well, not much anyway, and I could help Daddy to understand his street maps. In fact, I’m pretty sure that your best route isn’t by foot at all, nor by taxi. You should go by underground; you’d be there in two ticks. If I were with you …’

Alex and Joy had both cried out at this suggestion and Joy had smiled to herself; already, quite without meaning to do so, Gillian had been proving how her irresistible urge to take over any expedition would make itself felt, and Joy knew, without quite knowing how, that Gillian had acknowledged the justice of the reproof and had been smiling guiltily to herself.

But that had been a couple of days ago, and as the taxi drew up outside Lime Street station Joy could visualise the scene, the bustling concourse and the milling crowds of people. From within the station she could hear the screech of brakes and hiss of steam as a train drew in to one of the platforms.

‘Out with you, darling!’ That was Alex’s dear voice and Joy could see, in her mind’s eye, the anxiety on his face, for her father was a stickler for timekeeping and would be afraid of not being able to find their reserved seats, or mislaying their tickets, or simply missing the train altogether. She scrambled out of her seat in the taxi, ducking to avoid bumping her head or catching her haversack on something, and landed safely on the pavement, white stick extended, hand slipping easily into the crook of Alex’s arm.

She felt Gillian arrive next to her and the three of them set off, Gillian giving the running commentary which had been so helpful when Joy first left hospital. Lately, however, being more experienced, Joy occasionally found it an intrusion, though she would never have dreamed of saying so.

They were early, but Alex refused to go to the buffet for a cup of coffee and perhaps he was right, for the train arrived early too. Joy and her sister exchanged a quick kiss and a few joking remarks as to their future conduct. ‘No more flirting with the fellers; just you stick to the one you said you liked best … Keith, wasn’t it?’ Joy quipped. ‘And keep your thieving paws off my Edward!’

‘
Your
Edward? You’re just a babe, far too young to have an Edward of your own,’ Gillian said, giggling. ‘Or do you mean Teddy? I know you’ve got a teddy, I saw you popping him into your case when you finished packing last night.’

‘I did nothing of the sort, but if you mean I’m too young to flirt …’ Joy began, then had to snatch at her hat to prevent Gillian from grabbing it.

‘Do stop fooling about, you two,’ Alex said wrathfully. ‘I think our seats are reserved in carriage G. Come along, Gillian, make yourself useful; find carriage G and our seats, then you can buzz off.’

Gillian obeyed, and presently the twins sobered up and gave each other a quick hug. ‘Good luck, young Joy,’ Gillian said and Joy could hear that the other girl was fighting back tears. ‘Take care of yourself and keep in touch, and if you’re unhappy, just you phone Control; they’ll get a message to us and we’ll be with you in no time.’

‘I can’t write, but very soon I’ll be able to type and then I’ll be in touch – ha, ha – at least once a week. But you’ve got no excuse, so I expect letters from you weekly, if not daily. Someone will read them to me, I’m sure.’

Joy heard the carriage door swinging wide and someone leaned out and took her suitcase, even as her father thanked the unknown and lifted her on to the train before climbing aboard himself. He guided her to her seat, which was a corner one, and as they began to move instructed her to wave, since Gillian was doing so on her side of the glass. Joy obeyed, waving vigorously, and then, as the train picked up speed, she settled back in her seat. ‘I do hope she wasn’t crying,’ she said, lowering her voice as she remembered that there would be other people in the compartment. ‘Poor Gillian! But she loves St Hilda’s, and although Irene won’t be needed when I’m not there I’m sure she’ll still pop round from time to time.’ She lowered her voice still further. ‘I like Irene, don’t you, Daddy?’