Christmas With the Mustang Man (15 page)

Dallas reached for her sock cap and gloves as Boone climbed to the ground and shouldered on the backpack. Moments later, they left the locked truck and skirted along the base of a rocky bluff until they spotted a path open enough to climb.

“I'll take it slow,” Boone told her as they started upward through the scrubby pine. “Just stay behind me and watch your step. The ground is usually loose.”

The higher they climbed the windier it became. By the time they reached the crest of the butte, the north wind was whipping the evergreens and bending the sage. But thankfully the sun was bright and Dallas didn't feel a bit cold, even though she could tell her cheeks were reddened by the wind.

“This is a fantastic view!” Dallas exclaimed as the two of them walked closer to the west rim of the bluff and peered out at the valley floor sweeping off in all directions. She pointed to a certain spot several miles in the distance. “Is that the river? That green ribbon way off there?” she asked.

“That's one of them. But that's not the creek where we're going. It's in a canyon directly below us.”

Dallas tried to peer below them, but all she could see was a steep cliff covered with rock and more gnarled juniper. “Won't the horses smell us or hear us coming?”

“With any luck we might be downwind of them. And the wind might help muffle the sounds of our movements.” He looked at her and shrugged. “And there's a chance the mustangs might not even be in this area today.”

She smiled at him, then turned her gaze back to the valley floor. “It doesn't matter if we miss seeing the horses. This sight alone was worth the drive.”
And getting to spend the time with you,
she wanted to add, then
bit her tongue on the thought. What would he think, how would he react if she said such a thing to him? She desperately wanted to find out. But he'd more or less walked away from her last night and she didn't want to risk ruining this outing with another rejection.

“I'm glad you like it,” he said gently, then with a hand on her arm, urged her forward. “C'mon, let's go partway down the bluff and see if we can pick up any signs that the horses have been here.”

The descent was practically vertical and much tougher going than the climb. Several times Dallas slipped and slid, but managed to grab hold of rock and sage to prevent herself from tumbling forward. Ahead of her, Boone was having his own problems staying upright and the most he could do was glance over his shoulder every few minutes to make sure she was keeping up.

“There should be a little plateau not far from here,” he finally called back to her. “We'll stop there.”

“I'll be ready!”

Traveling in switchback fashion, they descended about twenty more yards before the plateau came into view. Boone reached the piece of flat ground first, then just as Dallas was making the final descent to join him, her boot hit a loose rock and she fell backward. Landing on her butt, she slipped and skidded several feet before a protrusion of rock finally stopped her.

Rushing to her side, Boone knelt over her. “Dallas! Are you hurt?”

Smothering a laugh, she reached for his hand. “Only my pride. And I probably made so much noise I've scared away every living thing within a mile of here.”

“I doubt it. Besides, we're not worried about that. Are you sure you didn't hurt something?”

The concern in his eyes made her feel very special
and for one split second she considered slipping a hand around the back of his neck and pulling his face down to hers. The idea left her more winded than the fall and she shook her head to try to push away the longing.

“I'm fine. Really. Just help me up and we'll move on.”

He pulled her to her feet and she quickly began to swat the dirt and twigs from the rump of her jeans.

He brushed bits of gravel and debris from the back of her coat. “If it makes you feel any better I spotted tracks on the plateau. The horses have been up this way fairly recently.”

“Are you sure it wasn't mountain goats? I can't imagine a horse up here,” she joked.

He chuckled lowly, but it was the warm light in his brown eyes that tugged at her.

“They're a bit more agile than you are.” He took a tight hold on her hand. “Let's go have a look at the creek.”

The shelf in the side of the bluff was no more than four feet wide at most, and the drop over the edge would be a deadly one for man or beast. Thankfully, Dallas wasn't squeamish about heights. Still, the grip of Boone's fingers was comforting as they moved over the flat but narrow ground.

Eventually, they came upon a break in the bluff that gave them a nice view of a brushy narrow canyon with a creek tumbling over boulders and beds of river rock. Boone found a bent juniper that shielded them from the wind and they sat together on the twisted trunk.

“The canyon makes a natural shelter from the cold and even in the winter like this, there's usually some sort of vegetation here for them to graze on,” Boone explained. “If we're lucky we'll see them.”

“How in the world did you find this place? It's in the middle of nowhere.”

He removed the backpack and laid it carefully to one side. “We're on BLM land here. Before we got here we passed through National Forest. I used to have a friend that worked as a ranger for this area and he told me where to find the horses. That was years ago. And thank God, it hasn't changed.”

She reached over and laid her hand on his arm. “This was so thoughtful of you to go to the trouble of bringing me up here, Boone. Thank you.”

His lips took on a sheepish slant. “I don't think most women would have enjoyed the trek. But…you're different. So I took a chance.”

Their faces were only inches apart and as her eyes scanned his rugged features, her heart beat fast. “You mean I'm not your typical woman,” she stated wryly. “The delicate, feminine type.”

His eyes softened as they roamed from her face to her feet and back again. “What are you talking about? Everything about you spells woman to me.”

“Thank you,” she said softly.

He shook his head. “Did someone ever lead you to believe you were lacking in the woman department?”

She looked away from him and down toward the creek. The sun was sparkling upon the water like diamonds and her lips curved to a mocking smile as she thought about the huge diamond engagement ring Allen had once slid onto her finger. The gem had been real, but he'd been a phony. Still, it had crushed her self-esteem when he'd run straight to his old flame's arms. No woman wanted to be cast aside for another.

“Not exactly. But I—” She looked at him and suddenly it all came pouring out of her. “The man I was engaged to threw me over at the last minute for another woman. That pretty much squashed the image I had of myself.”

Boone's eyes narrowed as he studied her face. “Is this for real? Your fiancé left you?”

She supposed she should have been embarrassed to admit such a thing to this man. But she wasn't. He'd experienced enough heartache to understand. “It's true. The wedding was only two weeks away and it was going to be a big affair. Food, flowers, the church, my dress, a band for the reception—everything was already set and then Allen tells me he can't go through with it.”

“I suppose he had a good reason,” he said grimly.

“Oh, yes. His conscience. He confessed that he'd only planned to marry me to get into the Donovan money. He'd believed living a rich lifestyle would be enough to make him happy. But I guess the thought of being
that
close to me for the rest of his life cooled his heels. He ended our engagement and went back to his old girl-friend—the one before he wooed me,” she added sarcastically. “She was the delicate, feminine sort.”

“I'll bet she couldn't hike a mountain or ride a horse like you do,” he said lowly. “And I'll bet her hair didn't shine like a copper penny and her lips didn't taste like a sweet dream.”

With each word he spoke, his face grew nearer and Dallas's heart beat faster.

“You don't have to feed my ego, Boone. I've been over Allen for a long time. In fact, now that I look back on it I don't think I ever truly loved him. I was in love with the idea of having a husband. So he saved us both some misery.”

“But the ordeal hurt you.”

She breathed deeply as his lips hovered near hers. “Terribly,” she admitted. “I still don't trust myself with men.”

“Why?”

“Because. Apparently I don't have enough sense to know a bad one when I see one.”

His hand came up to touch her cheek. “How do you see me?”

“Dangerous.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I want you,” she said simply.

“And that's bad?”

Her sigh was lost in the wind. “Like I said last night, there's a thousand miles between us. That's real bad.”

Slowly, he eased his head back from hers and the fact that he was pulling away filled Dallas with disappointment.

“Last night, after you left the family room, I felt awful. I felt like a selfish bastard because I—” He broke off and his gaze was full of agony as he looked at her. “The ranch—”

“You don't have to explain, Boone,” she said softly. “I understand the deep love you have for it. It's your home, the anchor you've always had in your life.”

“Yes, it's always been that. But it's also been an albatross of sorts.”

Surprised that he would say such a thing, she looked at him. “What do you mean? Because of your father and the rift it caused between you?”

He looked away from her and down at the creek and when Dallas saw him swallow, she knew he was about to let loose a part of him that he never allowed anyone to know or see.

“Partly. But it ruined my marriage. It caused me to lose a wife and Hayley to lose her mother.”

“How so?”

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “You just talked about not being the delicate, feminine sort…well,
my ex-wife Joan was exactly that. She was a meek little thing that was so timid she was afraid to pet the ranch dogs, much less get close to the horses.”

Dallas's brows shot up with disbelief. “Dear God, Boone, how did you ever get hooked up with that sort? Allen was a lying bastard, but he was at least compatible in other ways.”

He wiped a hand over his face. “It's easy to fall for someone, Dallas, when you're lonely down to your very gut. I'd lost my grandparents and then gone through the struggles with my father. The few women I had dated never turned into anything serious. Because of the ranch, I think. None of them wanted to live the isolated life and I could hardly blame them. But Joan—well, she was different. She came from a broken family like me. Her folks had considered her to be just another mouth to feed and they sent her to live with her aunt and uncle in Pioche. That's where I met her. She was making plans to work her way through college, but that all changed once we decided to get married. She was thrilled at the idea of having a real home and I was only too happy to give her one.”

“But it didn't work,” Dallas said solemnly.

The shake of his head was barely discernable. “Nothing worked. She couldn't stand the isolation, the animals, the long hours I had to devote to working it. I could only take her to town so much, but she wasn't satisfied. Then the fighting started. She wanted me to sell out and give my father his part of the money.”

Dallas was incredulous. “Did she believe that Newt deserved money?”

Boone's lips twisted to a grim line. “At that time he was still making noises about his part of the estate and
Joan used Newt's demands as extra leverage to get what she wanted—for us to move to civilization.”

“Obviously, you refused.”

“I was already having serious doubts about Joan's mental stability and our marriage. I didn't want to make the mistake of losing my home, too. But then Joan told me she was pregnant and I hoped beyond hope that a child would bring contentment and purpose to her life. I thought the baby was just what she needed. But the pregnancy was a difficult one. She spent the last few weeks in bed.”

“Oh. That couldn't have helped matters.”

“No. And once she had the baby, something happened to ruin any chances of her having another.”

Hayley had hinted as much, Dallas thought. “I guess she was bitter about that, too.”

“No. She was glad. She had no interest in being a mother to Hayley or any future baby. Oh, she tried. And she pretended to care, but after a while she wasn't fooling anyone. She ignored Hayley and fell into a deep depression. Finally, she had to be admitted to a mental hospital up in Ely and she stayed there several months before she finally faced up to the fact that she wasn't cut out to be a wife or mother and she especially wasn't cut out to live on a ranch in the middle of nowhere.”

Her heart aching for him, she reached for his hand. “Oh, Boone. I'm so sorry. For you and for Hayley. And I—” She shook her head with confusion. “I can't understand how the woman can ignore her own daughter.”

“Neither could I at first. Until the doctors explained that Joan lacks that thing inside of us humans that gives us the ability to bond with our offspring and other people. All of Joan's thoughts are centered on herself. She's incapable of loving others.”

“But Hayley says she's remarried.”

“That's true. But believe me, it's not a love connection. She's simply in the marriage for convenience and financial security.” He squeezed her hand. “So you see, you're not the only one who misjudged. I made a whopping mistake when I married Joan.”

“Is that why you don't want to marry again?” Dallas dared to ask.

His brown eyes filled with shadows. “Wouldn't you be afraid to try again?”

She swallowed as emotions swelled in her chest. “I was for a long time. But I—I don't want to live the rest of my life alone, Boone. I want children. I want a man to love me. Really love me.”