City Girl in Training (11 page)

‘Hi,' I said, suddenly and unexpectedly shy. Expecting him to kiss me. Wanting him to kiss me.

‘Hi, yourself,' he said, keeping his kisses to himself. Not taking any risks. ‘Did you get much sleep?'

‘Not much.' Cal was a long way ahead of me. Washed, dressed, but he didn't look as if he'd slept much, either. ‘You?'

‘I'll survive. And if you're going home today…' He let it lie. A question rather than a statement, as if hoping I might have changed my mind. The temptation to just lie back against the pillows, forget about my nightmare trip to Maybridge and invite him—with my full and wholehearted co-operation—to help himself to my virtue, was very powerful. This was not a day I was looking forward to, but afterwards…well, that was different.

‘I'm going,' I said, and wriggled upright, taking a sip of tea. No sugar. I really, really needed sugar…‘I don't suppose I'll be very popular banging up Sophie at the crack of dawn.

‘Hardly the crack. It's nearly eleven…'

‘What?'

I abandoned the tea, flinging back the covers, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. ‘Why didn't you call me earlier? It'll be dark before I get to Maybridge at this rate!'

‘No, it won't. I've spoken to Tessa. She's offered me her car. I'm taking you home.'

‘But—'

‘Humour me, Philly. Just because you've decided that Don's your man, that you're going back to him, doesn't mean I can just turn off my feelings. I can't stop caring about you, worrying about you.'

I heard the words. Reran them through my head like a tape recording. They still didn't make sense. ‘Say that again.'

‘I understand, okay? I think you're wrong. I think any man who would let you just walk away after so many years is a fool and that he doesn't deserve you, but—'

‘Cal—'

‘In fact it occurs to me that I'm an even bigger fool to let you go without fighting for you every inch of the way. The difference between us is that I know you have to make your own decision. Torn, you can never be happy. And I want you to be happy more—'

‘Cal—'

‘More than I care about being happy myself,' he persisted, as if once he'd stopped he'd never be able to start again. ‘I know what you're going to say. It's impossible. Love at first sight doesn't exist. It's lust, sexual attraction…'

‘Cal, please—'

‘But if it was just that, last night would have been very different. It's crazy. I know it's crazy. We met a couple of days ago. One minute you were this angry young woman berating me for taking her taxi and the next covered with confusion, blushing with embarrassment like a virgin and I wanted to kiss you right there, on the pavement.' He shrugged, finally pausing to let me get a word in, but, hey, I was human, I wanted to hear all of this. ‘Actually I wanted to do rather more than kiss you and when you told me
where you were going I thought, This is it. Fate. Kismet—'

Okay. That was as good as it got. I wasn't going to be greedy. ‘Cal, shut up.'

‘Sorry, you don't want to hear that. I didn't mean to lay all that on you. You're lonely and unhappy and you very nearly made the biggest mistake of your life and I understand. Truly.'

‘Cal, listen to me. Listen to me very carefully. I'm going home today to tell Don that I've met someone else. Someone who lights up my life like…like the Millennium fireworks. Someone who makes me feel like a real woman—'

‘But—'

‘Shh!'

‘No—'

‘Listen,' I said. ‘Listen to me.' He battled for a moment with an almost explosive need to interrupt. Battled and won and when he was silent I said, ‘I'm going to Maybridge today for only one reason. I'm going to tell him that I know I'm taking a risk. That this guy travels, disappears into the wide-blue yonder in horrible scary planes for months at a time and who knows if he'll come back? But whatever happens I have changed just by knowing him. That Philly-and-Don are history.'

‘Philly—'

‘I haven't finished,' I said. ‘I'm going to tell Don that I love him, will always cherish him as a dear friend. But then that's all we've ever been. Friends. Best friends. Loving friends.' I took a deep breath.
‘You see, that thing you said about me blushing like a virgin…well…that's because I am. That was my secret.'

There was a moment of silence while Cal absorbed this.

‘But…' Then, ‘You mean…'

‘I mean that last night was the closest I've ever come to…' And at that point my nerve failed me in the face of his blank astonishment and I stuttered to a halt.

‘Making love.' He reached for my hand. Held it. ‘Making love,' he said, and then he put his arms around me and pulled me close and I could feel him shaking. ‘Last night, in the restaurant, I looked at you and you were so far away and I tried to call you back to me, but you said—'

‘I said that I had to go home. To see Don. I had to end that before we could begin.'

‘I thought… I thought I was going to die,' he said. ‘My heart was breaking and I had to keep acting as if the world hadn't just ended. But I thought I was going to die.'

I lifted my hand to his face, cradling his cheek. ‘You said nothing. Didn't try to change my mind.'

‘Everyone has to make their own choice, Philly. And even if I'd talked you into bed, what would I have gained?'

‘We might both have had a decent night's sleep.' Then I blushed again, because that clearly wasn't what he'd had in mind. ‘It's to your credit that you
didn't try. You're a true hero, a “parfit gentil knyght”.'

‘Not that “parfit”.' He pushed his fingers into my hair, combing it back from my face. ‘It's confession time. You did drop your key on the rug. I stood on it and picked it up while you were searching the cloakroom.'

Yes! Then, ‘Can I ask why?'

‘Maybe…just for a moment there…I thought I might try it the other way. Are you angry?'

‘Angry? Because you wanted me that much? You've got to be kidding.' I was grinning so broadly that there was no point in pretending. ‘I'm a bit relieved, to be honest. A hero has to have some flaws, a little grit to make him…a hero.'

‘If you don't get out of here right now and get some clothes on—something that covers you from head to toe—I'm telling you, Miss Sensible, Miss Perfect, Miss Anything-But-Dull, that it won't be a little bit of grit, it'll be a damn great—'

I kissed him then, because I couldn't help myself, because I couldn't believe how lucky I was, just
because
…

‘Rock,' he groaned, when I paused to catch my breath.

‘Yeah,' I said softly. ‘I noticed.'

‘Out! Now!' I scooped up the very little black dress, along with my shoes and underwear, and fled, but laughing. He caught me at the door and I turned, clutching my clothes to me as he put his hand against it. ‘I think you've forgotten something.' And he lifted
my coat down from the peg and wrapped it around me. And then he kissed me again as if he couldn't bear to let me go. It was a feeling I understood, shared.

‘Cal…'

‘I know.' And since he couldn't bear to let me go, he came with me, putting my key in the lock, opening the door for me. ‘How long will you be?'

‘Give me twenty minutes—' I turned, distracted by a burst of laughter from the kitchen. And then Sophie appeared in the kitchen doorway, coming to a sudden halt as she saw me.

‘Philly! Where on earth have you been?' Then she saw Cal and her face clouded. ‘You've got a visitor.' And she stepped aside so that I could see Don, behind her.

‘Hi, Phil.' He glanced at Cal and then at me with my dress, shoes, underwear in my hands and, well, no matter how innocent our sleeping arrangements had been, how well we'd behaved in the face of all temptation, it was clearly pointless saying so because there wasn't a soul alive who would believe us. And as Don advanced towards us I moved quickly between him and Cal. But he wasn't intent on violence, just on offering his hand. ‘I'm Don Cooper,' he said.

Sophie glowered at me. ‘Remember him?' she snapped at me. ‘The boy back home. The one you said you were going to marry?' Actually, I hadn't said that. Kate had. And she'd been guessing. And just a touch sarcastic. ‘Last night I thought
he
was your boy
next door.' And she turned her glare on Cal as if her mistake were somehow his fault.

‘She's moved,' Cal told her. ‘I live next door now.' And he stepped out from behind me and looked Don squarely in the face. ‘She's going to marry me.'

Sophie looked confused. That was okay. I wasn't exactly straight on a few points here. Marriage? Who'd said anything about marriage? Don, though, never wavered. ‘Good decision,' he said. Then, ‘She's the best mate a man could have.' Don's hand didn't waver and Cal finally took it. ‘Just don't ever hurt her, or you'll have to answer to me.'

‘We were coming to see you today,' I said, cutting in. ‘To tell you.'

‘I've saved you a wasted trip, then. I just wanted you to know that I'm moving on, Philly. I've met someone, too. A few months back. I was doing his accounts—'

‘His?'

‘Alex. His name's Alex.'

‘Oh.' Then, ‘Oh!'

‘He runs a garage, classic cars, restorations.' He shrugged. ‘He's been trying to get me to join him for months, go into partnership with him.' He looked at me. ‘It's not just a business partnership. We're partners in every sense of the word. You do understand?'

I understood. It was like a light bulb going on inside my head. How on earth could I have been so blind? ‘I wish you'd told me, Don. I would have supported you.'

‘I tried…I really tried to be the son my mother
wanted me to be. Joining the family firm. Settling down with some nice girl. Providing her with grandchildren. The fact that she hated you—you were far too strong to meet with her specification for the perfect daughter-in-law, you know—made it easier to put it off. Just go on the way we were…'

What could I say? That it was my fault for not being more demanding? More of a tiger?

‘I really thought that if I concentrated, I could make it with you. Maybe. One day. But then you left and I suppose I came to my senses. Finally asked myself what on earth I thought I was doing. Living a lie. Pretending. I realised just how wrong that was. That you deserve a lot more than I could ever give you. That I deserve a lot more than I was settling for. You do see?'

Oh, yes, I saw. Finally. It was as if I'd been trying to fit a square peg into a round hole; I'd been pushing and twisting and turning it, forcing it to fit. Now it did. Don had repressed everything he was to keep his mother happy. The longing to work with his hands rather than his head. His sexuality. Everything that he was. And I'd made it so easy for him. Too easy…

‘I'm sorry, Philly.'

‘No, I'm sorry.' And I passed my clothes to Cal and put my arms around Don, held him for a moment. ‘Just be happy,' I said. ‘Be yourself.' He looked at me and I nodded and it was as if a weight had fallen from his shoulders.

‘I have to go. Alex is waiting for me. I'll let you
have our new address. Maybe you'll invite us to the wedding.' And he glanced at Cal.

‘You've got it,' he said.

‘Which way are you going? Can you give me a lift?' Sophie asked as he headed for the door. ‘I promised I'd meet Tony for lunch and I'm going to be late…'

In the silence that rushed back as they left the flat I said, ‘Well, that explains one or two things.'

‘You had no idea? Even if he wasn't head over heels, most men would have wanted to do a little more than hold hands.'

‘He said we should wait. When I was younger I thought it was romantic. And we both lived at home. It's not easy to be alone.'

‘It is if you want it enough.'

‘Not if you've got a mother like Don's.' Then, ‘Well, I'd better go and take a shower,' I said, suddenly embarrassed by my own stupidity. ‘Get dressed.'

‘Don't go.' He reached out, took my hand. ‘Not before I tell you that I was serious when I said it's my intention to marry you.'

I hadn't doubted that he'd been serious when he'd said it. He was not a man to do anything without serious thought. Even so… ‘It's a little soon to be thinking of marriage, don't you think?'

‘I wasn't suggesting we set a date. I was simply laying down my marker. But you're right, we're going to have to spend a lot of time together. It's a pity you won't fly, or I'd ask you to give up high finance
and take on the job as my very personal assistant on a tropical island. I can't promise paradise, but if you're with me it won't be far short.'

I thought about how much I hated flying. The noise of the engines. The acceleration. The sickening feeling as you left the ground. And realised that to be with Cal I'd walk through fire. ‘It's just possible,' I said, ‘if you were to hold my hand, never let it go, I might be able to handle the flying.'

‘You have my word. We could start with somewhere not too far and work up to long haul. A weekend in Paris, perhaps? Christmas shopping? We could buy something special for Great Aunt-Alice.'

Oh, help! ‘It's not just the flying. The spiders will be bigger, won't they? A lot bigger? On a tropical island?'

‘Possibly. But I promise you, my love, you'll never have to put on a brave face again.'

‘Just scream if I see one in the bath and you'll be right there, huh?'

‘I don't see any point in frightening the spiders. We'll share the bath.' And that tell-tale line at the corner of his mouth presaged a smile. ‘That way you'll never have to scream again.'

At that point I decided that the downside of a few eight-legged beasties was more than compensated for by the prospect of sharing my life with Callum McBride. ‘Um, good plan.'