Stacie ignored Josh’s questioning glance and focused on the food on her plate. Thankfully everyone at the table seemed eager to talk and the conversation flowed to the next topic.
Seth told stories from his little girl Danica’s childhood. Lauren updated everyone on the number of surveys she’d processed to date. And Anna brought out some new clothing designs she’d “just happened” to bring along for everyone to ooh and aah over.
Dressed in a frilly pink “princess” dress, Dani flitted from room to room, her blue eyes sparkling and an infectious smile on her lips. When the seven-year-old wasn’t playing with her friends or bestowing wishes with her “magic wand,” she was begging her dad to let her blow out her birthday candles.
“Fifteen minutes.” Seth promised. His smile widened as his gaze lingered on the sparkly tiara Anna had placed on his daughter’s blond head. “Our guests are still eating dinner.”
“But Daddy, I want my cake and ice cream now. Pleaaase—”
“Danica.” Seth’s firm tone left no room for argument. “One more word and I’ll make it twenty.”
The child studied him for a long second and then heaved an exaggerated sigh worthy of any princess.
Anna pushed back her chair and stood. She held out a hand to her niece. “Fifteen minutes is just enough time for one game of musical chairs.”
Danica’s expression immediately brightened. “I’ll get Madison and Emily and Tyler and Jessie.” She took off running, still spouting names.
Lauren rose to her feet. “I’ll help.”
“I’ll take you up on that offer,” Anna said to Lauren before slanting a glance at her brother. “Just make sure you have the cake ready to cut in fifteen.”
Seth appeared not to hear, but seconds later he disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Stacie and Josh alone at the table.
“I probably should help,” Stacie said, making no move to get up.
“You’ve done your part.” Josh placed his hand over hers and gave it a quick squeeze. “Relax and enjoy the evening.”
“I am enjoying it,” Stacie admitted.
Josh shifted, turning in his chair to face her. “You sound surprised.”
“I didn’t have any idea what this would be like.” Stacie’s lips lifted in a rueful smile. “I never expected so many people to attend a child’s birthday party.”
“In this part of the country, any occasion is a reason for a party.” Josh took a sip of iced tea. “My parents would have been here, but my dad wasn’t feeling well.”
Recently there had been times when Stacie had wondered about his parents; what they were like, whether she’d like them, whether they’d like her. Though it didn’t matter, she
was
curious.
His mother had given the blue heeler to her son, so she was obviously an animal lover. She and Stacie would have that in common. And despite any misgivings, his father had supported his son’s decision to be a rancher, which told her she’d like him, too.
“I’m sorry to hear they won’t be here,” Stacie said. “It would have been nice to meet them.”
“They were looking forward to meeting you,” Josh said. “They’ve heard so much about you.”
Stacie stilled. “From you?”
Josh shook his head. “Everyone but me.”
She lifted a questioning brow.
“Word on the street is that Anna’s friend has taken up with their son,” he said, answering her unspoken question.
“I hope you set them straight,” Stacie said. “Made sure they understand we’re just good friends.”
“I did mention you and Lauren and Anna will be moving back to Denver soon,” Josh said.
“I’m not sure about
soon,
but you’re right, that time will be here before we know it.” Stacie tried to summon some enthusiasm. Two months ago she’d have given anything to return to Denver. But that was before Josh. “I’ll have to find another apartment. Another job—”
“You’ll have a job,” Josh said. “Once you win the contest.”
“To win, I have to enter.”
Josh grinned. “That’s usually the way it works.”
“I’m not sure I’m going to enter.” Stacie traced an imaginary figure eight on the lace tablecloth with one finger. “Every time I think of mailing the entry I get this scared feeling in the pit of my stomach.”
Josh searched her eyes—for what, she wasn’t certain—but whatever he found there must have satisfied him because he accepted her explanation without comment and changed the subject. “Do you like porch swings?”
Stacie smiled. “Love ’em.”
“Good,” he said. “’cause that’s where we’re headed.”
She followed his lead and stood, but she hesitated when he offered his hand.
Though she knew Seth had kept his mouth shut after their first night together, the fact that she and Josh were spending so much time together had caused some raised eyebrows. From the knowing glances being cast their way this evening, the gossip mill appeared poised to grind out innuendoes and rumors at breakneck speed.
Yet, something in Josh’s eyes told her she’d hurt him more by ignoring his hand. She wrapped her fingers around his and let him lead her to the porch swing. She took a seat on the far right. He plopped down in the middle and without either of them saying a word, they began to swing.
The back-and-forth motion was soothing, almost hypnotic. And when Josh slipped an arm around her shoulders and tugged her close, a feeling of complete and utter contentment stole over Stacie.
Billowy clouds wrapped the sky in a thick blanket of gray, muting the normal nighttime sounds. Laughter and conversation drifted through the screen door, but seemed far away. She and Josh were alone in the moment.
In the past, Stacie would have been bored and eager to get back to the party. But she wasn’t as restless as she used to be. Sitting in the twilight with Josh at her side was enough.
“Tell me why you’re hesitating,” he said in a low tone that invited confidences. “What’s holding you back from entering that contest?”
This was it. Her opportunity to tell him what being in Sweet River had meant to her. Her chance to make him understand that she loved small-town life, her work at the café and most of all…him.
But she hesitated. Though she was pretty sure he loved her, he’d never said the words and she couldn’t bring herself to go first. So she played it safe and told the story he already knew, the one she’d been telling for years.
“When I started tenth grade, my parents started telling me how important it was to have a plan for my future.” Stacie chuckled. “But to have a plan, you have to know what you want to do. I knew I didn’t want to work with numbers like my mother. Or own an auto dealership like my dad. And I certainly didn’t want to follow my oldest brother and go to law school.”
They swung in silence for several long seconds.
“I wanted to do something creative, something fun,” Stacie said. “I told them I wanted to find my bliss.”
“What did they say?”
“They didn’t
say
anything,” Stacie said. “They laughed.”
“You didn’t let that dissuade you.”
“In a way I did,” Stacie said with a sigh. “I got a BA in business. I put my dreams on hold for four years.”
“Then you were free to pursue your dreams.”
“Yes. But my bliss hasn’t been as easy to find as I thought,” Stacie admitted.
Until I came here and met you,
she thought.
The expression on Josh’s face changed, and for a second she feared she’d spoken aloud.
“What about Jivebread?” he asked.
“That type of place would be my ideal job. The company prides itself on its unique cuisine. If I worked for them I’d be encouraged to develop new recipes, as well as prepare and serve the food.”
“Sounds…busy.”
“I’m sure it is,” Stacie said. “But like with anything, if you enjoy what you’re doing, it doesn’t seem like work.”
She thought of the time she spent making her rolls and breads for the Coffee Pot. The hours she’d put in helping Merna get her accounting and ordering systems organized. It had been a labor of love.
“I’d have thought you’d be working for them by now.”
“I applied several times. I got the interview, but I didn’t have enough relevant experience. I even offered to start at the bottom. Still no cigar.” Stacie remembered how upset she’d been. But if she’d gotten that job, she wouldn’t be here with Josh now.
“So this contest would be your ticket in.”
Stacie reluctantly nodded. “
If
I win.”
Josh lifted an eyebrow. “You have doubts?”
“The last thing Paul said to me before he left was that a smart person knows when to shut the door on a dream.” She knew Paul was trying to tell her she should stop searching for her bliss. But over the past couple of weeks Stacie’s heart had also been telling her that she could quit. The bliss she’d longed for couldn’t be found working for Jivebread in Denver. It was here, with Josh. “I’ve been thinking that maybe I should just find a normal job, get married and forget about Jivebread.”
“What are you saying?”
“Maybe I should stay here in Montana…with you.”
This was what he’d hoped for ever since he’d fallen in love with her. He wanted her to choose to live in Sweet River. Not because she was scared to face the outside world or because she didn’t have other options, but because she loved the land and people as much as he did.
She snuggled close. “Who needs Jivebread anyway?”
An icy chill formed a tight fist of doubt around Josh’s heart. He rubbed his hands up and down her back, telling himself that she wouldn’t regret her decision to live here. He’d make her so happy she’d forget about her dreams.
She’d forget about her dreams.
The realization was like a kick to his gut. That was the lie he’d told himself when he’d married Kristin. Her major in college had been broadcast journalism, and everyone agreed she was born to be in front of a camera.
But the year they’d graduated, jobs in her field had been scarce. The world she’d envisioned had failed to materialize. He hadn’t realized it at the time, but he’d been her consolation prize.
He’d had reservations when she suggested they get married, after all. Every time he’d brought her home she couldn’t wait to get back to the city. But she convinced him—and he hadn’t been that hard to convince—that once Sweet River was her home things would be different.
Trouble was, it hadn’t been different. She’d hated the land, the people and, in time, him. And she’d blamed him for cheating her out of her dream. In a way, Josh understood. He’d known how much her chosen career meant to her, yet he’d let her give it up.
Wouldn’t a man who truly loved a woman do everything possible to make sure she was happy? Wouldn’t he encourage her to follow her dreams even if those dreams didn’t include him? Wouldn’t a man in love help the woman he loved find her bliss?
According to her friends, Stacie had wanted the position at Jivebread for years. Yet, like Kristin, she professed a willingness to give it all up…for him.
It hadn’t worked for Kristin. Why would it work for Stacie?
“I’d like it if you stayed here. Heck, who am I kidding, I’d love it.” Josh brushed a kiss against her hair, fighting the raw emotion rising inside him. He took a moment and cleared his throat. “But you should enter the contest anyway.”
Stacie lifted her head from his chest and he could see the confusion in her eyes. “What would be the point?”
“The salad you brought to Dani’s party was a culinary masterpiece,” Josh said. “It deserves a chance to shine.”
You deserve a chance to shine,
he thought.
Her gaze lingered on his face. “Why is having me enter that contest such a big deal to everyone?”
Because everyone knows that getting that job is what you need, what you want, what you deserve,
he wanted to say.
“Humor us. Humor me,” he said instead, keeping his tone light. “Put the entry in the mail.”
“I’ll do it.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled. “But in exchange, I get to see you naked.”
With Merna’s blessing, Stacie started a gourmet dinner night at the Coffee Pot. Though Merna warned her that once the café sold the event would likely end, Stacie decided to have fun with it. The five-course menu was a big hit with the dude-ranch guests, as well as the locals. A food critic from the
Billings Gazette
proclaimed her brisket with apricots and lemon juice “the best in the state.”
Lauren’s dissertation research continued to bring like-minded individuals together. Sasha and Wes were both matched, but not to each other. Misty was paired with a rancher who lived outside of Big Timber. Stacie knew that relationship was destined for success when she heard they’d sung a karaoke duet at Earl’s Saturday night.
Stacie continued to spend most of her free time with Josh. The only downside was she barely saw her roommates. That’s why she’d asked Anna to pick huckleberries with her this morning.
The excursion was the perfect opportunity for some serious girl talk. Not to mention that when Anna started reciting all the uses for the berries, Stacie’s mind had immediately began flipping the pages of her mental cookbook.
She could already taste the pan-seared chicken breast with huckleberries, blue cheese and port sauce. The dish would make a fabulous entrée for the Coffee Pot’s next gourmet night. Of course, she’d be sure to set aside enough berries to make a pie, and maybe even use some to make compote for her increasingly popular buttermilk biscuits, which now rivaled her cinnamon rolls.
As her mind explored all the possibilities, she plucked berries and placed them gently into a basket. In the distance birds cawed and the leaves of a large cottonwood whispered in the breeze. A feeling of contentment stole over Stacie. She couldn’t remember ever being so happy.
She had her cooking, her friends and Josh. Though she hadn’t thought it possible, every day she loved him more. Only one thing troubled her. “Do you know Josh has never told me he loves me?”
“Buckets of blood.” The curse shot from Anna’s mouth, and she slowly straightened, hand pressed against her lower spine. “I feel like a ninety-year-old granny with rheumatism.”
Stacie had to smile, both at her friend’s long-suffering expression and at the phrase. Anna had done nothing but complain since they started picking. Even if you ignored the fact that her chartreuse sling-backs were totally unsuitable for a day in the woods, the country girl was clearly out of her element—even if she’d spent her childhood in this kind of life.
“Did you hear what I said?” Stacie asked when Anna started mumbling something about a hot tub and massage.
Anna stopped and turned, shading her eyes with her hand. “Your back hurts, too?”
“My back is fine,” Stacie said. “My problem is Josh.”
“I thought you two were doing great.” Anna’s brows pulled together. Stacie could hear the surprise in her voice.
“He hasn’t said he loves me,” Stacie said, embarrassed by the admission yet not sure why. “Don’t you find that strange?”
“Why would you even expect it?” Anna asked, her expression clearly puzzled. “You said it was just a physical thing between the two of you.”
Stacie shifted uneasily from one foot to the other.
Anna’s gaze narrowed. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”
Stacie could feel her face warm. “The physical thing didn’t work.”
“What?” Anna’s mouth dropped open. “Josh can’t—?”
“No, no, nothing like that.” Stacie hesitated to explain. “I went into this with the best of intentions. I just couldn’t keep it strictly physical.” Stacie heaved a sigh. “I guess I’m not a fling kind of girl.”
Anna chuckled. “That doesn’t surprise me at all.”
“I love him, Anna. Truly. Deeply. Completely.” A lump rose and lodged in Stacie’s throat. “I’m just not sure how he feels.”
Her friend didn’t appear at all shocked by the admission. She brought a finger to her lips. “What did he say when you told him you love him?”
Stacie rolled her eyes. Had the sun affected Anna’s brain? “Women don’t say ‘I love you’ first.”
Anna laughed. “What century are you living in?”
“I have it on very good authority that the man should declare his love first.”
“What good authority is that?”
“My mother.”
“The same mother who told you not to sleep with a guy because no one wants to buy the cow when the milk is free?” Anna’s lips twitched. “You didn’t seem to have any problem not following that suggestion.”
Anna shot her a leer that was so over the top that Stacie couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Some of her advice may be a bit dated,” Stacie admitted. “But what if I say ‘I love you’ and he just stares at me? What if there’s a horribly awkward silence?”
“What if he takes you into his arms and says he loves you, too?”
“You’re probably right.” Stacie had told herself over and over that her fears were unfounded and foolish. With his every look, every gesture, every touch, Josh declared his love. “I’m making a big deal out of nothing.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“I’m—”
“I thought I’d never find you two.” Lauren stumbled through the brush. Sweat dotted her brow and her white cotton shirt had twigs stuck to it. “I finally called Seth and he told me this used to be a favorite spot of yours.”
Although Anna didn’t act surprised, Lauren was the last person Stacie expected to see this morning. Stacie shot Lauren a curious gaze. “I thought you told us you were too busy analyzing your data to pick berries?”
“Hey, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Put her to work.” Anna gestured to the bushes brimming with berries. “Grab a basket, Lauren, and start picking.”
“I didn’t come for the berries.” Lauren pulled a thin white envelope out of her bag and offered it to Stacie. “I came to give you this.”
Stacie placed her basket on the ground and wiped her hands on her jeans. “What is it?”
“It’s from the contest.” Lauren shoved the paper into Stacie’s hand.
Stacie stared at the return address. As she focused on the Jivebread logo, her heart tap-danced in her chest. The light-as-a-feather envelope turned suddenly heavy in her hand.
“Open it,” Anna urged.
Stacie took a deep breath. How many years had she dreamed of working for Jivebread? Of working in a state-of-the-art kitchen with any ingredients she could imagine at her disposal. Of working with other professionals who understood the thrill of creating with food. A shiver traveled up her spine, but she stopped the rising excitement by reminding herself that dream was before Josh. “I’ll look at this later.”
“Aren’t you curious?” Lauren’s gaze remained focused on the envelope. “Don’t you want to know what it says?”
“Yeah.” Anna crowded close, leaning over Stacie’s shoulder. “The past three weeks have been pure torture. I can’t wait another minute.”
It was Stacie’s letter. She could take it back to the house. Open it only when she was good and ready. But Stacie knew her roommates wouldn’t give her a moment’s peace until she did.
With a resigned sigh, Stacie slipped open the envelope and pulled out a sheet of crisp parchment paper. A check fluttered to the ground. She read the words silently once. Then read them again just to be sure.
“How did you do?” Anna asked.
“What does it say?” Lauren added.
A sense of wonder flowed through Stacie’s veins. She lifted her gaze. “I won.”