Clarity (18 page)

“But only so many killers,” he said softly.

“What does that mean?”

“I made gains on the story. I found out why the Toscanos left New York City. Anthony didn’t quit the NYPD, he was fired.”

“For what?”

“He killed someone.”

My mind churned with shock and confusion. “He would be in jail if that were true.”

“It was in the line of duty so no criminal charges were filed. However, the use of deadly force was ruled unjustified, and he lost his job. The whole case is really shady. There was something personal between him and the guy he killed.”

“That’s awful,” I said. “But what does that have to do with what’s going on now?”

“A killer’s a killer. He’s used his badge as a way to murder someone and get away with it before. What if he did it again?”

I thought about Billy’s crime scene and how someone had been watching us in the woods. It could have been Detective Toscano. I thought about how Gabriel refused to say Victoria’s name, insisting on referring to her as “the victim,” despite having that same name tattooed on his arm. Was it possible that …

No. No way.

“You can’t jump to that conclusion without knowing more details,” I said, both to Nate and myself.

“Why not?” Nate snapped. “They were happy to jump to conclusions about Perry.”

He had a point. “I do know something that might help us,” I said. “I asked Detective Toscano if I could see the security tape and he refused. If that tape shows him or Gabriel at the restaurant that night, then maybe your theory is right.”

Nate perked up. “You have to get that tape. It could be our only chance to free Perry.”

“But how? I can’t just break into the police station and steal it.”

“There is one way,” Nate said, rubbing his chin. “Justin. He’d do anything for you and his father could easily get the tape.”

“You want me to
use
Justin?”

“Use
is a terrible word. He’d probably enjoy the attention. Bat your eyes, swish your hair, whatever it is that girls do to get guys to stumble over themselves.”

I took a deep breath. I’d do anything for my brother.

“Okay,” I said. “Whatever it takes.”

I texted Justin, asking him if we could meet and talk. Lightning quick, he replied saying he’d meet me on the boardwalk. I expected him to say the beach, since that was our spot. But he must have heard about Joni by now. If there’s one thing that will kill a romantic moment, it’s a crime scene.

I rushed down to the boardwalk. Somehow, Justin had made it there before me.

He was waiting on a bench, his left leg bouncing up and down like it did when he was anxious. He wore khaki shorts and a white polo shirt that showed off the summer tan on his arms. He spotted me and stood with an apprehensive smile.

“Hey.”

“Want to walk?” I asked.

“Whatever you want.” He fell in line beside me and we walked slowly down the boardwalk. “I’m glad you texted me. We need to talk.”

My eyebrows rose. I wasn’t expecting him to have his own agenda. “What’s up?”

“There’s been another murder.”

“I know,” I said. “Joni. It’s horrible.”

The vision of her death tickled at my memory, and I pushed it away. I couldn’t think about it. I needed to be strong right now, not have a breakdown.

“I think it’s time for this to stop,” Justin said.

I gave him a blank look. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t want you involved in the investigation anymore. At first, I thought it was a good idea. You could help us solve the case quickly, get the guy behind bars, and we’d move on. I never imagined for a second that you would be in danger. I would never have asked you to help. But now Billy’s dead and Joni’s dead. This person’s unhinged. I don’t want you working on this anymore. I want you to just stay home until it’s over.”

This was exactly why I hadn’t told anyone about the vision I’d had of someone watching me in the woods. I knew it would lead to this. Whether it was Perry, Justin, or Mom who
found out, they’d all want me to stop. But I couldn’t. I’d had my doubts about Perry before, but they were gone now. Seeing him at the police station, looking into his eyes, I knew. I never should have suspected him for a moment. He’s my brother. I know him. He’d never touched a gun in his life; he wouldn’t know what to do with one. Yeah, he could treat girls a little better, but he wasn’t a killer. He just plain didn’t have it in him. And now that Joni was dead, too, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that my brother was innocent. And the place in my heart that had once wavered was now filled with resolve.

I had to save him.

“I appreciate your concern, Justin, but I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“My brother could go to jail for the rest of his life, and I know he didn’t do it. The police aren’t going to help him; they’re convinced he’s guilty. All Perry has is me. I’m not going to quit on him now.”

Justin stuffed his hands in his pockets and sighed. “I know where you’re coming from. But if anything happens to you …”

“It won’t.”

“You can’t guarantee that.”

“I can’t stop. Perry needs me.”

Justin nodded, giving in. “I know there’s no way Perry did this.”

I stopped walking and looked up at him. The sun’s rays made his hair look golden. His blue eyes were deep and
soulful. He looked like a prince from a fairy tale. My mind flitted to where the fairy tale went wrong, but I forced it back to the moment at hand.

Gabriel assumed Perry’s guilt. Justin assumed his innocence. Justin had come to my family’s rescue, driving Mom and me to the station, arranging for a lawyer. He was always there for me.

I reached up and put my hand on his cheek.

Then I kissed him.

That wasn’t part of the plan. I had no intentions of locking lips with my ex, tape or no tape, but I lost myself in the moment and went with it. His kiss was tentative, light. Like our first kiss on the beach, so long ago. I remembered his mouth, his taste, his kissing style.

Kissing Gabriel was like an exotic vacation.

Kissing Justin was like coming home again.

I wanted this.

Until he pushed me away.

“What do you want?” he asked with his arm out, holding me at a distance.

I blinked rapidly, not understanding what happened. “Excuse me?”

“This is a dream come true, but I know it isn’t real. You want something. Tell me what it is. You know I’ll do it.”

I hesitated, full of confusion. I hadn’t kissed him to get the tape. I’d kissed him because I wanted to. I’d been overcome. I was able to temporarily push Tiffany out of my thoughts and give in to my feelings.

But I didn’t want him to know that. My guard had slipped for one moment, that was all. I didn’t want to fill him with false hope.

“I want to see the tape,” I said, instead.

He turned away from me and leaned on the railing of the boardwalk. I watched his back. He shuddered once, then straightened and turned back to me.

I’d hurt him. Badly this time. I felt a pang of regret.

“The security tape from the restaurant?” he asked. “The one they found in your house? Why do you want that? Even if you destroyed it, that wouldn’t help Perry.”

“I don’t want to destroy it or steal it. I want to watch it. Once.”

He thought for a moment. “You think someone else might be on there. The real killer.”

I nodded.

“How will you know, though? You could watch people go in and out of there all night and not recognize the killer.”

“Or I could see Victoria’s boyfriend, Joel, on there and place him at the scene. Or … someone else.” I didn’t want to share Nate’s theory about the Toscanos being killers. I also didn’t want Justin to know I’d seen Gabriel’s tattoo. And I couldn’t explain to myself why.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“This could be the key to everything.” I put my hand on his arm, an old habit, and looked into his eyes. “We could break the case wide open. That’s what you came to me for days ago. That’s what you want the most, right?”

“No.” He gently pulled his arm out from under my touch. “Honestly, what I want the most is to go back in time and change that night with Tiffany.”

“Isn’t that a little overdramatic, Justin?”

His face was tight. “I hurt you. I love you and I hurt you. I see the pain in your eyes even now. I see it every time you look at me.” His voice broke. “Call me overdramatic, call me anything you want, but it’s the truth.”

This was exactly what I’d wanted the past few months. I’d wanted to hurt him, to watch his face twist in agony. To get him back for what he’d done. But I wasn’t enjoying it. I realized with a rush of emotion that I didn’t want Justin to be in pain.

Out of nowhere, it washed over me. The months of despising him, wanting to hurt him, not caring how many times he apologized. It washed away, and I felt a new feeling for the first time.

I reached out tentatively and put my hand on his.

“I forgive you,” I said.

He looked up at me with hope in his eyes.

“I can’t be with you,” I said quickly. “But I forgive you. I believe that you wish you could go back and fix things. And that you never meant to hurt me.”

He blinked quickly. His mouth opened, but no words came out.

“I’m not saying this just to get the tape,” I added. It was true. Sure, at first I’d planned to use him, to manipulate his feelings for me to get what I wanted. But then all these feelings I’d buried had started to surface.

All these months I’d tried to hurt him with my words and my absence. I’d thought that hurting him would heal me. I never realized that what I needed to do to fix myself was to forgive him. He’d been punished enough. I might never be able to be his girlfriend again, but I could be his friend.

“I mean it,” I said.

“I know you do,” he said quietly and squeezed my hand.

TWENTY-ONE

MY NERVES PREVENTED ME FROM STANDING STILL for even a single moment, so I paced back and forth in the mayor’s office. I felt good about forgiving Justin the day before on the boardwalk. It felt right and settled. But then I also felt guilty for feeling good about something while I still didn’t have the answers I needed about Victoria’s death.

Justin had been gone a long time. He should have been back by now. I started to worry. He’d said he buttered his father up over dinner last night and Mr. Spellman had agreed to let us watch the tape. But what if he couldn’t
get
the tape? What if this was another dead end? What if —

The door slammed open and Justin burst in, quickly closing and locking the door behind him. He held up a videocassette in his hands and waggled his eyebrows.

“Oh, thank you!” I rushed up to him, instinctively going for a hug, then held back.

This was all new to me. At first he was my boyfriend. Then my enemy. And now … ? I didn’t quite know how to act and didn’t have the time to figure it out.

Thankfully, Justin didn’t make the moment any more
uncomfortable. He pulled a second chair over to the little A/V setup he’d put together, and pushed the tape into the VCR.

“Remember these things?” I said.

Justin was nervous. He looked around the office one last time and spoke, almost to himself. “Okay, the door’s locked. My dad’s coming back in thirty minutes to get the tape and bring it back downstairs to the station. Ready?”

“Ready.”

I pressed play. The tape was grainy but viewable, and showed the front door of Yummy’s. The security camera gave a bird’s-eye view of who walked in and out. I held my finger on the fast-forward button until a person came into view, then I’d pause, slo-mo, then fast-forward again until the next customer. After a while, we found our first person of interest.

“There she is,” I said, watching Victoria walk into Yummy’s alone. She wore a revealing tank top and skinny jeans, her hips swaying with each step.

“Completely unaware that she’s going to die,” Justin said sadly.

An older couple came in after her. Then a gaggle of girls I knew from high school. Then a few seniors who had graduated came in together, including Stephen Clayworth. Tiffany came out for a smoke break. I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything to Justin. That was a big step for me.

A ton of people I didn’t recognize milled in and out, which wasn’t surprising. It had been the biggest tourist weekend of the year.

“Isn’t that …” Justin squinted at the screen.

“Gabriel Toscano,” I said, mixed feelings making my voice tremble. Was Nate right about him? I didn’t want to believe it.

My instinct couldn’t be that off base, could it? I’d been attracted to, kissed, wanted … a killer? I’d worked alongside him for days. It couldn’t be. But her name was tattooed on his arm and here he was at Yummy’s the night of the murder.

Something he’d never bothered to tell me before.

His father was running the investigation and getting nowhere. The same father who had killed someone back in New York. Maybe Gabriel didn’t have something personal against psychics. Maybe the truth was he didn’t want to work with me because he was scared I’d pick up on his guilt.

“Oh, here he comes back out,” Justin said, snapping me out of my daze.

“What’s that he’s carrying?” I looked hard at the brown bag in Gabriel’s arms.

“Takeout,” Justin said, dismissing it, and fast-forwarding until a foursome of old men walked in.

Cecile Clayworth strolled in next, wearing a stunning emerald green, belted dress. What was she doing there? I figured she’d think Yummy’s was beneath her. Perry went in next and not too long after that, Perry and Victoria came out together.

“Smooth operator,” Justin said and whistled.

“Yeah, he’s gifted,” I mumbled.

Cecile came out, dragging a drunken Stephen. That explained her presence. She’d probably been called to take
care of her son. I guessed the night at the boardwalk wasn’t the first time he’d had one too many underage brews. The last thing Dallas Clayworth needed during his campaign was his golden boy being labeled as a boozebag.

“Well, that’s it,” Justin said, shutting off the tape minutes later. “That sucked. No Joel Martelli.”

“We’re not leaving this empty-handed, though,” I said. “There is Gabriel Toscano.”